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Topic : 10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Number of Replies: 116
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Created on : Friday, September 26, 2008, 02:41:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

Did you know stress can take years off your life and even kill you? If you feel overwhelmed, overscheduled or overextended, you don't want to miss this show! Jamie says when she lost her job and her house went into foreclosure, she gained 30 pounds, had constant stomach aches and couldn't stop crying. Her problems seemed so insurmountable that she even started smoking for the first time in her life! Jamie's 17–year-old daughter, Breanna, blames herself for her mom's financial woes and says she doesn't even feel comfortable in her own home. Can this mother-daughter bond be restored? Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of the new book, The Stress Answer, shares tools that can help Jamie get back on track. Then, Susan says she’s quick to lose her temper and sometimes takes her anger out on her three children. She says she got so fed up with her family that she packed her bags and stayed at a hotel for several days! Dr. Lawlis pays this overworked mom a house call. Find out the stress-relieving techniques he taught Susan that you can do at home. And, Iron Chef Cat Cora whips up delicious recipes that can help you de-stress. Plus, tune in for an unbelievable performance to lift your spirits!  Share your views with others.  


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 1, 2008, 11:39 pm CDT

Stressed

As I am reading through all of the posts I feel so bad, I feel like I am so stressed however my situation doesn't even compare to any others. Maybe I just have a lower threshold than others, because I couldn't handle going thru anything more at the moment. I have recently broken up with my controlling boyfriend. It has been 18 months of pure hell. I met him at a point where I was so weak I was willing to put up with everything from him lying about his age, to an affair, even to the point where he would not even let me go out and see my friends. I feel like I lost everyone I ever cared about because I just attended to him. He made me quit my job because he thought I was seeing someone else. I spent a few months unemployed and he was never there to help me out. I blame myself so much for letting that happen. I decided to break up with him and ever since I did things have gotten really nasty. He has spread rumours about me on facebook and told all my family these horrible things about me, which are not true. I have recieved emails and text messages from people I don't even know abusing me. I don't understand why people can be so cruel, I didn't do anything wrong I just left a bad situation. He is constantly texting me and I have told him not to. He continues to contact my mum, which is making it hard for her. I don't understand it. I feel really over whelmed by it all, and not only that I have a very stressful job that I can't deal with at the moment, I feel like I am sinking, I haven't been to work in the past 2 days because my neck is spasiming from all the stress. I don't know who to talk to because I have lost so many people. I really wanted to just let it out. I know it probably seems petty to some to be so stressed about it but I finally was proactive and left a horrid situation and was really proud of myself and now this horrible situation won't leave me. I guess stress consumes everyone differently and at different levels. I understand some of your pain, and how it feels like the world is crushing down on your chest and you can't breath, I guess everything will work out....
 
October 2, 2008, 7:14 am CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: kbirdy

As I am reading through all of the posts I feel so bad, I feel like I am so stressed however my situation doesn't even compare to any others. Maybe I just have a lower threshold than others, because I couldn't handle going thru anything more at the moment. I have recently broken up with my controlling boyfriend. It has been 18 months of pure hell. I met him at a point where I was so weak I was willing to put up with everything from him lying about his age, to an affair, even to the point where he would not even let me go out and see my friends. I feel like I lost everyone I ever cared about because I just attended to him. He made me quit my job because he thought I was seeing someone else. I spent a few months unemployed and he was never there to help me out. I blame myself so much for letting that happen. I decided to break up with him and ever since I did things have gotten really nasty. He has spread rumours about me on facebook and told all my family these horrible things about me, which are not true. I have recieved emails and text messages from people I don't even know abusing me. I don't understand why people can be so cruel, I didn't do anything wrong I just left a bad situation. He is constantly texting me and I have told him not to. He continues to contact my mum, which is making it hard for her. I don't understand it. I feel really over whelmed by it all, and not only that I have a very stressful job that I can't deal with at the moment, I feel like I am sinking, I haven't been to work in the past 2 days because my neck is spasiming from all the stress. I don't know who to talk to because I have lost so many people. I really wanted to just let it out. I know it probably seems petty to some to be so stressed about it but I finally was proactive and left a horrid situation and was really proud of myself and now this horrible situation won't leave me. I guess stress consumes everyone differently and at different levels. I understand some of your pain, and how it feels like the world is crushing down on your chest and you can't breath, I guess everything will work out....

 You need to first change your phone number, email addressd and do not give this guy ANY attention you need to ignore him completely . I had someone in my life like this and you will get through this but if in any way you dont feel safe you need to call the police. DONT take this behavior lightly.

ADVICE... DONT LET ANYONE TAKE YOU FROM WHO YOU ARE. If a man loves you they dont put stress and drama on you. You need to value yourself and know the signs of abuse before you take on another relationship.

A guy like this will charm you at first and you think your in love then he will manipulate you and all the time your so confused that you start losing yourself worth. 

Take your time in a relationhip make them come to you see the effort they put into you. If someone shows signs of rushing things RUN!!!! 

Time will heel but more important learn by this.

 

 
October 2, 2008, 8:11 am CDT

I'm walkin in stress everyday

I have six kids 5 boys an a girl an I feel overwhelmed all the time.I can plan my day an think about all I have too do an If i get one thing done i am tired.I don't have money to send my kids on field trips with the school an can't give them things when they  need it.It makes me feel real low.I fill out at least 2 applications a week and still I have no luck finding a job.I try to hide my feelings towards my kids but they know they can look at me an tell when something ain't right .It is hurtful to tell them that I don't have the money or we can't pay a bill this month an let stuff get cut off.I wonder a lot on how it effects them with the things I am going through trying to provide for them.I live in public housing an have always worked to jobs to provide for my kids.I feel like I am drowning an can't pick myself up.I have uncontrollable high blood pressure an have a lot of anxiety attacks which I think they are small heartattacks .I am glad Dr. phil did this show so I can see how to deal with my stress but finding work is another story.  
 
October 2, 2008, 8:14 am CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

my heart goes out to the lady l just want you to know that you are not alone and that there are many people in the same situation including my self and l put my trust in God. Sometimes we have realise that there are things that we cannot change so you ask for the grace of God to let go not to worry. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers and  l wish you well God bless. I am a mother of  four whose house is in forclosure and fighting to keep and not sure if l can but l trust in God  so have faith and trust in God for he knows best.
 
October 2, 2008, 8:43 am CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: kbirdy

As I am reading through all of the posts I feel so bad, I feel like I am so stressed however my situation doesn't even compare to any others. Maybe I just have a lower threshold than others, because I couldn't handle going thru anything more at the moment. I have recently broken up with my controlling boyfriend. It has been 18 months of pure hell. I met him at a point where I was so weak I was willing to put up with everything from him lying about his age, to an affair, even to the point where he would not even let me go out and see my friends. I feel like I lost everyone I ever cared about because I just attended to him. He made me quit my job because he thought I was seeing someone else. I spent a few months unemployed and he was never there to help me out. I blame myself so much for letting that happen. I decided to break up with him and ever since I did things have gotten really nasty. He has spread rumours about me on facebook and told all my family these horrible things about me, which are not true. I have recieved emails and text messages from people I don't even know abusing me. I don't understand why people can be so cruel, I didn't do anything wrong I just left a bad situation. He is constantly texting me and I have told him not to. He continues to contact my mum, which is making it hard for her. I don't understand it. I feel really over whelmed by it all, and not only that I have a very stressful job that I can't deal with at the moment, I feel like I am sinking, I haven't been to work in the past 2 days because my neck is spasiming from all the stress. I don't know who to talk to because I have lost so many people. I really wanted to just let it out. I know it probably seems petty to some to be so stressed about it but I finally was proactive and left a horrid situation and was really proud of myself and now this horrible situation won't leave me. I guess stress consumes everyone differently and at different levels. I understand some of your pain, and how it feels like the world is crushing down on your chest and you can't breath, I guess everything will work out....

One thing I have learned throughout all of my issues with people, within myself, and with all I have gone through and seen, that every single thing happens for a reason and you just have to have faith that you will get through it. God never throws anything at us that we cant handle. He knows our strengths, weaknesses, and how far it is to our breaking points. You probably read my story and 2 years ago, there is NO WAY I could have handled all of this. I would have probably done some irrational, stupid stuff to ruin my life. But God gradually put me through things that would make me stronger over time. He was preparing me for this summer specifically.

I have gone through what you were just saying. Not to that extent with a boyfriend but I did have a very controlling one for 2 1/2 years. Most of my high school life. One thing you must remember is IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I have been conditioned by nearly everyone in my life to think its my fault for everything that happens. My mom and dad got divorced and could never agree on anything because of me... so I thought that was my fault. My mom couldnt afford a lot being a single parent so I thought that was my fault. My boyfriend made me feel like everything was my fault. My mom always blames me for everything. And now I have an AMAZING boyfriend and my conditioned behavior is carrying over into our relationship and I am having to get used to being treated right. I have been conditioned for so long to think that being treated wrong by everyone is how it is supposed to be that I have to get used to the good stuff. How crazy is that?!

 

Girl you will be fine. Have faith and pray it up!!! Once you give ALL of your problems to God, it is such a relief. We arent capable of handling all of life's curveballs, it is impossible! You are gonna be fine though. I have faith in you ;)

 
October 2, 2008, 12:43 pm CDT

Today's Show

Dr. Phil,

 

I am watching your show about stress today. I want your guest to know that I am going through the same situation. I was married to a Truck Driver up until October of 2007. Here is my story, In 2005 my dad died of congestive heart failure. I was working and taking care of two teenage daughters, while my husband stayed on the road. In 2006 I lost three jobs, all were lay-offs. The last job I lost I decided I could not take it any longer,  I have always been able to work and earn a living and when all this happened I felt like a failure and still due. On Christmas day in 2006 I took a razor and cut my hand hoping to bleed to death.

 

When that did not happen the next day I called my doctor and he had me admitted to a outpatient mental facility 5 days a week. It was only then that I realized I was trying to be something I could not, and that I had no support from  my husband. The doctors and therapists suggest that I ask him to leave and requested that I try to get disability until I was able to get my life back in order.  Well, in October of last year I asked him to leave, and then on December 1, 2007 I was outside of my house putting up Christmas lights when I fell off a ladder and broke my back. I went through two surgeries and still recovering and have been denied disability three times. I too, ashamily had to go apply for food stamps and welfare.

 

The system is not right. Please help

 
October 2, 2008, 1:20 pm CDT

What we wouldn't give

OK, What my husband and I wouldn't give to make $150,000.00 for just one year. We have struggled our whole married life, which has been 36 years.  I have been on antidepressants most of my married life. I never get any new furniture, we never go on vacation, our house needs so much work which we can't afford. I have never been on a plane etc. Right now we are making $50,000.00 and we struggle more now since everything has went up. My husband drives 100 miles a day. There are no jobs around here and we can't afford to move.

 

Bottom line, I can in no way feel sorry for anyone who has been making $150,000 a year. This family has  been use to getting everything they want to spend that much money and not save any. Our worries would go down 75% if we had that much money every year to live on.

 
October 2, 2008, 1:26 pm CDT

The irony in Jamie's story....and...SMOKING???

It's rather ironic that the people WORKING in sub-prime mortgages, which have devestated many people (of their own choices I understand) are now THEMSELVES loosing THEIR homes and having to foreclose THEMSELVES now that their positions are no longer. Some people I'm sure are laughing their rear ends off at this right about now. It is rather ironic, don't you think?

 

And umm....excuse me....but Jamie started SMOKING??? Let's see, she has applied for food stamps and is on welfare and unemployment, yet she has the money to buy CIGARETTES. Mmmmm-hmmmm.

You ALMOST had me feeling sorry for you Jamie...until you said that. 

 

Sorry, but if you can pay for cigarettes, then you don't need help from the state.

 
October 2, 2008, 1:58 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: shahnster

It's rather ironic that the people WORKING in sub-prime mortgages, which have devestated many people (of their own choices I understand) are now THEMSELVES loosing THEIR homes and having to foreclose THEMSELVES now that their positions are no longer. Some people I'm sure are laughing their rear ends off at this right about now. It is rather ironic, don't you think?

 

And umm....excuse me....but Jamie started SMOKING??? Let's see, she has applied for food stamps and is on welfare and unemployment, yet she has the money to buy CIGARETTES. Mmmmm-hmmmm.

You ALMOST had me feeling sorry for you Jamie...until you said that. 

 

Sorry, but if you can pay for cigarettes, then you don't need help from the state.

 understand that the reason she started smoking is because she on a suicide mission, shes at her breaking point. She knows it wrong thats why she told the whole world about it and wants help. People will do things out of their norm to cope. Thats why their drug addicts and so on.  She wants help and she went on national TV to get.  I give her all my prayers and to anyone else that needs it too. 
 
October 2, 2008, 2:11 pm CDT

i can totally relate

this show is exactly what i am going through and the guest on his show is not alone! and my 16 year old son can't understand all i go through and we fight when i can't handle the stress right and we take things out on each other-i don't want to continue to be sick from stress or die!
 
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