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Topic : 10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Number of Replies: 116
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 26, 2008, 02:41:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

Did you know stress can take years off your life and even kill you? If you feel overwhelmed, overscheduled or overextended, you don't want to miss this show! Jamie says when she lost her job and her house went into foreclosure, she gained 30 pounds, had constant stomach aches and couldn't stop crying. Her problems seemed so insurmountable that she even started smoking for the first time in her life! Jamie's 17–year-old daughter, Breanna, blames herself for her mom's financial woes and says she doesn't even feel comfortable in her own home. Can this mother-daughter bond be restored? Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of the new book, The Stress Answer, shares tools that can help Jamie get back on track. Then, Susan says she’s quick to lose her temper and sometimes takes her anger out on her three children. She says she got so fed up with her family that she packed her bags and stayed at a hotel for several days! Dr. Lawlis pays this overworked mom a house call. Find out the stress-relieving techniques he taught Susan that you can do at home. And, Iron Chef Cat Cora whips up delicious recipes that can help you de-stress. Plus, tune in for an unbelievable performance to lift your spirits!  Share your views with others.  


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 2, 2008, 2:23 pm CDT

know what you mean

Quote From: thenewyear

OK, What my husband and I wouldn't give to make $150,000.00 for just one year. We have struggled our whole married life, which has been 36 years.  I have been on antidepressants most of my married life. I never get any new furniture, we never go on vacation, our house needs so much work which we can't afford. I have never been on a plane etc. Right now we are making $50,000.00 and we struggle more now since everything has went up. My husband drives 100 miles a day. There are no jobs around here and we can't afford to move.

 

Bottom line, I can in no way feel sorry for anyone who has been making $150,000 a year. This family has  been use to getting everything they want to spend that much money and not save any. Our worries would go down 75% if we had that much money every year to live on.

I know what you mean, I would give anything to just make  50,000 a year much less 150,000. These people  who make boat loads of money, dont save and spend like there is no tomorrow and expect everyone else to bail them out or feel sorry for them just drives me nuts.  We are lucky to make 40,000 a year.  Actually the total is a little more than 42,000 a year which to most may sound like a lot but it really isnt when you are supporting 9 people on it.  I get 1800 a month between me working and my husbands disability and I support my daughter and her 3 small boys ( she is unable to work). My oldest daughter who is 28 but has the mental age of a 14 year old (plus she has Bipolar) also lives with me. I also support my 12 year old neice whom I have had since birth.  Plus my brother who is unable to work right now lives with me.  You want to talk about stress.  Marie and her 3 boys share one bedroom, my 12 year old has a tiny bedroom, me and my hubby have the other bedroom. My brother sleeps on the couch,and my daughter sleeps on the loveseat.  It is constantly noisy. I work with Adults with developmental Disabilities all day, most are down syndrome and all have the mental age of children so I hear noise all day long.   Like you I have never been on a plane. We never, ever get to take a vacation or anything. Heck I would give a million dollars for 5 minutes alone.  When I come home from work all I hear is yelling and noise. I go to my bedroom and they follow me in there. We live in a singlewide mobilehome so with 9 people there is not much room. 

Yep I am stressed but not everyone gets to go on Dr Phil and get help. In a way I do feel sorry for the guests because it is horrible to lose everything no matter what or who you are.

 
October 2, 2008, 2:23 pm CDT

free2live

You know, I felt just like all of you. I was a middle school science teacher for 20 years doing everything I could do to keep my family running. Taking care of my mom was becoming a money and time issue. I was running from pillar to post with no help in sight. Until the day I had enough and started searching for another job. I came across a stress-free angel named Margie Remmers and she turned my life around. She taught me that life did not had to be what I was living and that there were other choices beside the dead end one I was in. Go to her web site at stressfreehomebiz.com and listen to her story. It is not unlike the rest of us. I promise she can help you.
 
October 2, 2008, 2:42 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: tracywwjd

this show is exactly what i am going through and the guest on his show is not alone! and my 16 year old son can't understand all i go through and we fight when i can't handle the stress right and we take things out on each other-i don't want to continue to be sick from stress or die!

I'm sorry to hear of your distress Tracy but if I had a 16 yr old son, I would not have a picture like that one on your profile.

 
October 2, 2008, 2:46 pm CDT

Nervous Break

I am very frustrated when I see a show like this because I have been stressed for 8 years,  I was a victim of a violent crime and I don't beleive I have ever recovered. Since them everything that has happened to me, large or small feels catostrophic and I have lost control.  To have Dr Phil give it a name "Depressive Stress Storm" has confirmed that I am in one.  I cannot sleep well, I don't think clearly, my once tidy house is a disaster area and when I do have the time to clean it, I choose a nap instead, It feels like everything I do is a major life decision. Just getting to the grocery store is major.  I have been seeing a counselor for almost 2 years and I am not getting better.. Since the attack, I have had a child , I have had cancer, I have gotten seperated,  I have become a single parent of 2 young boys, I get very little financial support or emotional support from dad,  I have started my own business and in the last year that too is failing. I don't feel attached to life anymore, I feel like I am absent other then making decisions, I am not partaking in life.  I don't feel alive other then the pain I barely stand each day.   How do I undo this?  How do I stop this storm realistically with my lifestyle?  I am stuck in the cycle... HELP
 
October 2, 2008, 2:48 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: thenewyear

OK, What my husband and I wouldn't give to make $150,000.00 for just one year. We have struggled our whole married life, which has been 36 years.  I have been on antidepressants most of my married life. I never get any new furniture, we never go on vacation, our house needs so much work which we can't afford. I have never been on a plane etc. Right now we are making $50,000.00 and we struggle more now since everything has went up. My husband drives 100 miles a day. There are no jobs around here and we can't afford to move.

 

Bottom line, I can in no way feel sorry for anyone who has been making $150,000 a year. This family has  been use to getting everything they want to spend that much money and not save any. Our worries would go down 75% if we had that much money every year to live on.

omg, I so agree..... I can't even afford the flowers in order to smell them. My husband has been out of work for quite awhile now and everything is all in my hands. I worked 12 hrs today and I get home and everything is just a disaster. SSDD but I guess that's my fault by staying here. Long story, won't bother everyone with that one.
 
October 2, 2008, 2:51 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: lauraepley

Dr. Phil,

 

I am watching your show about stress today. I want your guest to know that I am going through the same situation. I was married to a Truck Driver up until October of 2007. Here is my story, In 2005 my dad died of congestive heart failure. I was working and taking care of two teenage daughters, while my husband stayed on the road. In 2006 I lost three jobs, all were lay-offs. The last job I lost I decided I could not take it any longer,  I have always been able to work and earn a living and when all this happened I felt like a failure and still due. On Christmas day in 2006 I took a razor and cut my hand hoping to bleed to death.

 

When that did not happen the next day I called my doctor and he had me admitted to a outpatient mental facility 5 days a week. It was only then that I realized I was trying to be something I could not, and that I had no support from  my husband. The doctors and therapists suggest that I ask him to leave and requested that I try to get disability until I was able to get my life back in order.  Well, in October of last year I asked him to leave, and then on December 1, 2007 I was outside of my house putting up Christmas lights when I fell off a ladder and broke my back. I went through two surgeries and still recovering and have been denied disability three times. I too, ashamily had to go apply for food stamps and welfare.

 

The system is not right. Please help

you need to contact A LAWYER who deals with disability issues. They advertise on television every day, usually when Dr. Phil is on. CALL THEM. They are experts at helping people who have been denied disability appeal and GET the benefits due them. You will pay NOTHING until you are approved, and then the lawyers will take a percentage of your first payment, which will be several thousand dollars. Call today! They really will help you.
(And I don't know WHY the mental health people told you to tell your husband to get out ... you didn't say, but I'm not sure THAT was the smartest move, either.)
 
October 2, 2008, 2:52 pm CDT

YAY! To Dr. Phil and Dr. Lawlis. Thanks y'all

Now, we just need y'all and y'all's colleagues to begin EMOTIONAL AND LIFE SKILL EDUCATION K-12 DAILY CLASSES in our schools because our EQ's are as important as our IQ's. Long has been the debate if parents or schools should teach best behavioral responses. However, parents cannot teach what they have not learned like the 4th R (Respect for ourselves and one another) which includes healthy habits, behavior and ways of interacting "and" coping. Becoming best CEO of life because as Dr. Phil says, "Life isn't cured. It is managed."

A class ideally led by a man and woman teaching side by side with mutual respect to address age appropriate topics, role playing, and a wonderful place for all those 4 year sociology and psychology persons to get a teaching certificate to teach. Clinton Administration thought a good idea in 1998, and sent me every Department of Eductions address to submit too. I didn't have the credentials or wherewithal y'all have to implement. Until implemented THANK GOD for the Dr. Phil Show and his expert colleagues like Dr. Lawlis while everyone plays emotional catch up to better cope with life and life's challenges.

ABSOLUTELY... Shallow breathing has been linked to anxiety, panic and depression. Literally, many things can take the wind out of our sails. Even just walking to the corner and back thinking a mantra like:

"Head up straight
Shoulders back
Calm Relaxed
Poised & Confident"

OR

"Head up straight
Shoulders back
Healthy Diet
Healthy Lifestyle"


Lightly touch thumbs simultaneously to each finger of hand as you think so you do this ten times. That way you don't have to focus on counting and can enjoy relaxing.

Even a funny saying to DEstress. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." A banana a day brings sweet dreams to stay.

Words have a mind/body connotative relationship. For instance if you get carried away with negative WHATIF(itis) you can exacerbate stress. However, simply writing an entire notebook of "Fear Not. Have Faith" can be calming in word/mind/association.

DR. PHIL QUOTE: "You are the one who talks to you all day, every day. Characterize messages you send yourself by a rational and productive optimism.

As well, you can begin individual and family SELF MATTERS ME or FAMILY (WE) notebooks. Leave in a visible place as an eye/sight cue reminder.

INDIVIDUAL:
Title inside or outside of cover:
SELF MATTERS INCLUDES: sign your name with confidence like an autograph.
Then DAILY make an entry:
Title each page this way...
SELF MATTERS INCLUDES: sign your name with confidence like an autograph.
Then write ten compliments, goals or affirmations.

FAMILY:
Title notebook and each Daily or Weekly entry: Family last name.
Team players
each family members name autographed by each member
Then beneath Team family name and team players names write:
"one for all all for one"
Then, two compliments or goal for each member.
Two compliments or goals as a family.


Scroll down at first link and begin reading at HOME CARE to maintain homeostasis ... balance ... equilibrium:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003213.htm

When you keep consistent healthy habits your body and mind have an idea what to expect. If you get your habits out of kilter pretty soon your body and mind have no idea what you plan to do next which. Life is mostly habit. I wish us all the best habits. Life is like economics: choice. I wish us all the best choices one healthier choice at a time.

As well, Exercise even walking to the corner and back is a natural mood elevator and raises endorphin level as well as oxygenates the brain. Putting the wind back into your sails.

Dr. Phil's son, Jay, says to the count of five in his book for teens and most women say to count of five works best. So for those of us not six feet tall football players like Dr. Phil...I changed to Jay's count of 5.

Relaxation Script by Dr. Phil

Appendix A, page 285 - 286 WLC book  

BREATHE to count of FIVE each way ...in and out... (7 FOR FOOTBALL STARS)

"Focus on your breathing: (UWS, PAGE 286) "Breathing out EXACTLY to count of 1-2-3-4-5.  So focus on letting go of everything you want to let go, especially stress, fear and any other destabalizing emotions. For a few moments, practice letting go of any tension, stress, feelings, or thoughts that you don't need right now. Let them go. Then breathe in EXACTLY to the count of 1-2-3-4-5...

Next, I want you to know that when you let these things go with your out-breath, you are replacing that space with good, nurturing air with your in-breath. Visualize that good air coming into your body and healing whatever needs restoration. Send that air to anywhere in your body and feel the love and caring you are giving yourself right now. Bring it into yourself. Practice this for a little while.

What you need to do next is to balance these in-breaths with the out-breaths, so that you will feel soothing relaxation and balance coming into your body. Practice breathing in to a count of five, 1-2-3-4-5, now breathe out, 1-2-3-4-5, in-breath, 1-2-3-4-5, and out-breath 1-2-3-4-5. count for yourself for each in-breath and out-breath for at least five minutes.

Note to yourself that you are balancing your out-breaths and in-breaths, letting the stress and tension leave your body, and allowing the good nurturing air to come in. You are releasing the stress and bringing the healing forces in. "

 
October 2, 2008, 2:56 pm CDT

Sick and Tired

Dear Dr. Phil,

I watched your show today and the woman with three children makes me sick.  All I ever see on your show are house wives with three or less children complaining about how stressed they are.  I would do anything to have there life.  I am a stay home mom right now but is by force not by choice.  My husband has a full time job that takes up all of the day.  The problem with this job is that is does not support us.  We have five children and are living with my father-in-law.  I would love to see how those women would deal with my everyday stress.  They would probably not even make until dinner.  It just makes me sick at how clueless people are.  There are people have it even worse that me.  They should think of that before calling your show and crying about there lives.
 
October 2, 2008, 2:58 pm CDT

stop the madness

Quote From: uglyiest

I know what you mean, I would give anything to just make  50,000 a year much less 150,000. These people  who make boat loads of money, dont save and spend like there is no tomorrow and expect everyone else to bail them out or feel sorry for them just drives me nuts.  We are lucky to make 40,000 a year.  Actually the total is a little more than 42,000 a year which to most may sound like a lot but it really isnt when you are supporting 9 people on it.  I get 1800 a month between me working and my husbands disability and I support my daughter and her 3 small boys ( she is unable to work). My oldest daughter who is 28 but has the mental age of a 14 year old (plus she has Bipolar) also lives with me. I also support my 12 year old neice whom I have had since birth.  Plus my brother who is unable to work right now lives with me.  You want to talk about stress.  Marie and her 3 boys share one bedroom, my 12 year old has a tiny bedroom, me and my hubby have the other bedroom. My brother sleeps on the couch,and my daughter sleeps on the loveseat.  It is constantly noisy. I work with Adults with developmental Disabilities all day, most are down syndrome and all have the mental age of children so I hear noise all day long.   Like you I have never been on a plane. We never, ever get to take a vacation or anything. Heck I would give a million dollars for 5 minutes alone.  When I come home from work all I hear is yelling and noise. I go to my bedroom and they follow me in there. We live in a singlewide mobilehome so with 9 people there is not much room. 

Yep I am stressed but not everyone gets to go on Dr Phil and get help. In a way I do feel sorry for the guests because it is horrible to lose everything no matter what or who you are.

Your problem is CLEARLY that you have bitten off FAR more than you can chew. You've got all these people living with you in a single-wide trailer???? Lady -- that's CRAZINESS.
The daughter and the three kids need to get a place of their own. Regardless if she's able to work, there are social services agencies that will help her get into a place and if she cannot work, she will qualify for welfare and food stamps.
Your brother is ALSO unable to work? Why? He, too, needs to be booted out -- tell him to get his own place.
You take care of a niece, who I'm assuming you've raised as a daughter, and you have a disabled daughter and a disabled husband. That's FOUR people who should be living there ... and for the disabled daughter and the disabled husband, you should get benefits. Also ... since the niece is not your child, you should get support for her.
There are places to go for help ... you just have to get up and look for them, and get rid of the parasites who are sponging off of you -- the daughter and the three kids and the brother would get FIVE people out of there that you don't need to support.
 
October 2, 2008, 3:17 pm CDT

lauraepley

Sorry to hear about all the stressful events in your life. It is fairly common to be denied and have to appeal. Not everyone gets immediate bailouts as is being requested of Congress right now. However, your State Representatives and Senators are there to help you and will as expediently as possible. Sometimes within a couple of weeks or the same day if lucky.

Also, you can contact your State representative by getting contact information at below website. Do note that .gov websites.

house.gov

OR

You can contact your State Senator at

senate.gov

Just Google to find...

Once you have address really best for fastest response to fax or call and you can follow up with an email or letter. I think some copy shops will let you use their fax machine. Actually, some banks (like your personal bank) and businesses will "sometimes" fax things for you.

I contacted a representative for a gentleman 8 years ago and his disability was paid retroactive from when first applying for a total of $18,000, he said. Then, he received and still receives monthly payments. Due to current financial difficulty USA is facing I don't know how this will effect benefits. However, it just really grates on me when people have to pay a lawyer to get what they deserve to get without a lawyer. Although, perhaps legal aide could do for you pro bono or for a reasonable fee. IDK. Being proactive as you are is good.

As well, check out

BE ON THE SHOW opportunities clicking above

and

CONTACT DR. PHIL

The more fishing lines you have out the more likely you are to get a bite... aka hear back.

Best wishes to you...

Sincerely,

SEA
 
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