Message Boards

Topic : 10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Number of Replies: 116
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 26, 2008, 02:41:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

Did you know stress can take years off your life and even kill you? If you feel overwhelmed, overscheduled or overextended, you don't want to miss this show! Jamie says when she lost her job and her house went into foreclosure, she gained 30 pounds, had constant stomach aches and couldn't stop crying. Her problems seemed so insurmountable that she even started smoking for the first time in her life! Jamie's 17–year-old daughter, Breanna, blames herself for her mom's financial woes and says she doesn't even feel comfortable in her own home. Can this mother-daughter bond be restored? Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of the new book, The Stress Answer, shares tools that can help Jamie get back on track. Then, Susan says she’s quick to lose her temper and sometimes takes her anger out on her three children. She says she got so fed up with her family that she packed her bags and stayed at a hotel for several days! Dr. Lawlis pays this overworked mom a house call. Find out the stress-relieving techniques he taught Susan that you can do at home. And, Iron Chef Cat Cora whips up delicious recipes that can help you de-stress. Plus, tune in for an unbelievable performance to lift your spirits!  Share your views with others.  


Find out what happened on the show.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 27, 2008, 9:30 am CDT

this is not made up !!!!

 I am married to a man that his exwife will try anything to turn his boys against him!!!!  she even has in the past when they have returned from a visit asked the youngest son " did they hurt you in any way shape or form/"  and my husband or i have never ever in any way abused these children !!!  she got in the youngest ones face and told him " your dad is a no good piece of s--- !!!" has even told them he doesn't pay child support which is a bold faced lie !!!!!  watch out for the vengeful ex wife  and the courts and child support enforcement beleive everything  that they say !!!!!!  the man doesn't have a chance in hell with the system and the women know this. i myself have 2 sons and am divorced and would have never said these things to my boys about their father !!!!!  they can say they have never heard me talk about their dad !!!!  and my husband is an excellent dad has always gotten them for visitation ( even though they are 6 hours away one way ) she has always lived far away to make it difficult for him to see them but it didn't work he still saw them and they know who he is and who their grandparents and aunt and uncle are!!!  beware of these women !!!!  men to it too!!!

 
September 27, 2008, 1:40 pm CDT

same boat

I am  in the same boat I lost my job in April of this year and still havent found one, my husband is unable to work due to medical we have been fighting to receive Social Security for him and on top of that we have three children who are not ours biologically our but in our hearts they are our. We go next month and the twin girls who are 15 will have our name and we will be their parents, we have the most wonderful lawyer working pro-bono with us. Then in January of this year we had taken in a baby boy from a friend of our now his case is closed with CPS and we aregoing to be adopting as soon as we can the bio mom is not going to fight it cause she knows what is best for him. We have just living on my unemployement which is not much but better than nothing, and assistance with food. I have turned to go back to school through with grants and loans, which is helping some. But things are getting more tighter and sometimes I feel like there is no where to turn but one thing is constant is that I have my husband and our children to make it through.
 
September 27, 2008, 3:04 pm CDT

Real Stress

I moved back to Connecticut from Upstate Ny in 2007. I have two grown boys, now, 32 & 36. I have been from job to job..place to place living. My job now is in a coffee shop in the town I live in. Previously I was a Parts Delivery driver for a magor car dealer. I hurt my foot real bad..I was out of work for 1 mo. I had applied for a job closer to home so after my two week notice..I went to my new job but because my foot hadn't healed and I was doing therapy...they would not hire me. I decided I was going to apply for SSD/SSI since I have a bad back and neck,THAT in its self is very time consuming and depressing.I am only working part time because I can only earn so much while applying for these things. I am on SAGA and food stamps from the state. I am having a hard time paying my rent, I don't know if I will have any money for October's rent. My oldest son is probably going to jail by the end of October and I am just a mess. I have started BP Medications and I am totally exhausted. I haven't slept (good) in who knows how long. I worry about my kids ALL the time and I am running myself ragged.I have gained alot of weight and I am very depressed. I have an appt. with a dr. next week and SSD/SSI. If I don't get help from them I don't know what I will do. This may sound trivial to some but to me..it is killing me.My mind doen't stop for a minute and like I said..I am exhausted. Thanks for listening....Lucinda............
 
September 27, 2008, 3:43 pm CDT

STRESSED

i CAN SORT OF EMPATHIZE WITH THESE WOMEN.  I HAVE RECENLTY BECOME DISABLED AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.  I'VE WORKED SINCE I WAS 16 AND I'M NOW 37.  I NOW HAVE TO DEPEND SOLEY ON HUSBAND.  HE HAS NOTORIUOSLY BAD MOOD SWINGS DUE TO A MEDICATION HIS DOCTOR HAS HIM ON (HE WON'T TELL HIM AND HE'S TOLD ME TO STAY OUT OF IT).  HE (NOTICE i SAID HE) BOUGHT A HOUSE A YEAR AGO IN FEB. OF LAST YEAR.  THIS IS A BRAND NEW HOUSE AND IT'S LITERALLY FALLING APART.  IT HAD A WARRANTY WITH IT AND THE BUILDER DIDN'T SEEM TOO CONCERNED. I HAVE TALKED TO 3 ATTORNEYS AND NONE OF THEM WANT TO HANDLE OUR CASE DUE TO AN ARBITRATION CLAUSE.  I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THERE IS AT LEAST $55,000 WORTH OF DAMAGE.  I DID NOT WANT THIS HOUSE (I HAD A BAD FEELING ABOUT IT) BUT HE BOUGHT IT ANY WAY.  NOW ON TOP OF TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THIS, I HAVE TO DEAL WITH A CHILD I HOMESCHOOL, A CHILD WHO IS A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL ( AND ENGAGED), AND HIS OUTBURSTS.  ALL THIS HAS ME TO THE POINT THAT I STAY SO STRESSED OUT AND SOME DAYS I WISH I COULD JUST FIND A HOLE TO CRAWL IN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE TO KEEP FROM HAVING TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING ELSE. I'VE CRIED UNTIL I CAN'T CRY ANY MORE.  I'M TO THE POINT I STAY IN A BAD MOOD.  EVERYBODY ASKS WHY. THE OLY ANSWER I EVER GIVE IS "I WONDER".
 
September 27, 2008, 3:45 pm CDT

I have a 33 year old son stressed to the max too

I would like to tell you a little bit about a little boy by the name of Brant Warren. This 9 year old has lived a very hard childhood since the day he was born. His biological mother was not ready to care for a baby. Before he was 9 months old, she had moved 11 times, married and divorced once (not to his Dad), and left Brant at friends, Grandparents, Dad‘s, and his Uncle’s homes more then she took care of him herself. At age15 months old, the courts gave his Dad full custody. Dad gave up his farm house and move back to our house in order to have help raising his son and still work. They lived with us for 4 years; however, Dad met and fell in love with a student at OSU. They became engaged and married just before Brant turned 4. Within a year, Brant biological mother gave up all rights and let Brant's step mother adopt him. All was good for about one years. Brant learned to love and trust his new mother. Then Mom became pregnant for her own child. During the pregnancy things seemed to change. Brant didn't made Mom happy most of the time. She let him know that he was dirty, unacceptable and bad. Things deteriorated over the next few months, getting a little worse after Brant’s little brother was born. Brant started to rebel towards his mother to the point that Mom and Dad thought that something was wrong with him. He was placed in Kettering Children's psychiatric hospital for evaluation. After 6 days evaluation, the doctors found that Brant had no problems other then ADHD and server depression. When Brant was due to come home, Mom decided to leave. She told Brant that she was leaving because he was such a bad kid and she would not be coming home until he was good. That was 1 1/2 years ago. She left with his little brother and moved to Newark. Brant has only seen his brother 3-4 times since.

Meanwhile , Dad worked hard to reunited this family by getting a counselor for his wife, a counselor for his son, a family counselor, and (by order of Kettering) a Psychiatrist for Brant to deal with his lose; all at great cost. As Dad needed to be home when the school bus picked his son up at 8, and be home to get his son off the bus, his employer could not deal with all these problems. As construction work took a turn for the worse, an order came down for lay offs, and Dad was one of the first to go.

Brant's Dad looked hard for a job for the next 6 month while all his bills took a hard hit. When Dad was the only income of the house, he was barely keeping his heard above water, but now he was sinking. During this time, divorce papers were mailed to him and they would prevent him from seeing his youngest son, so he needed to procure his own attorney with the last of his savings. Dad has now (less the a month ago) started a new job, but they are looking at loosing their home. Dad has it up for sale, but with the down turn in housing sales, he is up side down on his loan. He sees no way to keep it and Brant will loose again. 

I'm telling you about this little 9 year old boy because he came to me and was worried about HIS father.  He worries that he doesn't love him any more or that he doesn't want him around any more.  I too worry about him to the point of having nightmare about him killing himself to get out from all his problems.  The lost of his wife, son, job, home, credit, and maybe his car, lawn mower, and the trailer that hauls it (everything in his life except his oldest son) is weighting him down to a point of lucking him into inactivity.  He seems to sit on his sofa, and email, text messages to friends, or playing game.  This is now he is escaping out of his world.  Unforturnitly, his son thinks Dad is escaping him.

 

 
September 27, 2008, 6:18 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: lucymac72767

I moved back to Connecticut from Upstate Ny in 2007. I have two grown boys, now, 32 & 36. I have been from job to job..place to place living. My job now is in a coffee shop in the town I live in. Previously I was a Parts Delivery driver for a magor car dealer. I hurt my foot real bad..I was out of work for 1 mo. I had applied for a job closer to home so after my two week notice..I went to my new job but because my foot hadn't healed and I was doing therapy...they would not hire me. I decided I was going to apply for SSD/SSI since I have a bad back and neck,THAT in its self is very time consuming and depressing.I am only working part time because I can only earn so much while applying for these things. I am on SAGA and food stamps from the state. I am having a hard time paying my rent, I don't know if I will have any money for October's rent. My oldest son is probably going to jail by the end of October and I am just a mess. I have started BP Medications and I am totally exhausted. I haven't slept (good) in who knows how long. I worry about my kids ALL the time and I am running myself ragged.I have gained alot of weight and I am very depressed. I have an appt. with a dr. next week and SSD/SSI. If I don't get help from them I don't know what I will do. This may sound trivial to some but to me..it is killing me.My mind doen't stop for a minute and like I said..I am exhausted. Thanks for listening....Lucinda............

If you can work part time you can work full time, go get a job and earn a living and stop asking the state to take care of you, if you haven't notice we can't take care of you we don't want to take care of you we want you to take care of yourself as many do.

 

get a full time job and start paying for your own way and see if you feel better, you are worring that if the state turns you down you are that much farther in the hole, you are the only one that can change your worries.

 
September 27, 2008, 6:40 pm CDT

THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Quote From: sassymae

I am  in the same boat I lost my job in April of this year and still havent found one, my husband is unable to work due to medical we have been fighting to receive Social Security for him and on top of that we have three children who are not ours biologically our but in our hearts they are our. We go next month and the twin girls who are 15 will have our name and we will be their parents, we have the most wonderful lawyer working pro-bono with us. Then in January of this year we had taken in a baby boy from a friend of our now his case is closed with CPS and we aregoing to be adopting as soon as we can the bio mom is not going to fight it cause she knows what is best for him. We have just living on my unemployement which is not much but better than nothing, and assistance with food. I have turned to go back to school through with grants and loans, which is helping some. But things are getting more tighter and sometimes I feel like there is no where to turn but one thing is constant is that I have my husband and our children to make it through.
HOW GREAT IT IS THAT YOUR HUSBAND AND CHILDREN ARE YOUR "CONSTANT"
THROUGH YOUR DIFFICULT FINANCIAL TIMES!

I AM HERE TO SAY "THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL".

I KNOW THIS, BECAUSE YEARS AGO I BECAME HOMELESS AFTER LOSING MY HOME ALONG WITH EVERYTHING IN IT. I WAS AN ONLY CHILD WHO'S PARENTS WERE DECEASED AND HAD NO OTHER FAMILY
TO TURN TO. I WAS
A SINGLE PARENT STUGGLING ON A
DAILY BASIS FINDING
A SAFE PLACE FOR MY CHILD TO LIVE AND HAVING TO SLEEP IN MY CAR. I WAS ABLE
TO WORK 2 FULL TIME JOBS AND ONE PART TIME JOB AND FINALLY GETTING MYSELF ON MY FEET AGAIN. I SPENT TWO YEARS SLEEPING ON A CART BUT MANAGED TO
BUY MY SON A BED, CLOTHES FROM SALVATION ARMY,
AND FOOD THAT I WOULD ONLY BUY ON SALE.
THOSE WERE
"DIFFICULT TIMES"
BUT SOMEHOW I
MANAGED TO GET THROUGH IT "ALONE" KNOWING I HAD MY SON TO TAKE CARE
OF.
YOU HAVE A "FAMILY" UNIT THAT WILL HELP YOU THROUGH!
STRUGGLING "TOGETHER" WILL
ONE DAY BRING YOU CLOSER TOGETHER KNOWING YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY.
THE BEST TO ALL OF YOU AND "MAY EACH DAY BRING YOU CLOSER TO A
BRIGHTER FUTURE"!!!!!
 
September 27, 2008, 10:59 pm CDT

Me too

2007 was a difficult year for me as well, I got divorced, (for the 2nd time) moved in with my mom.  I then got fired, then my dad died.(whom I hadn't talked to in 9 months cuz he pissed me off)  I moved again (into my dad's house)  found another job, then 6 months later, got fired again.  All these things happened in about a year or so.  Talk about stress and barely being able to get by.  I was on anti-depressants (which I am now off of).  I still have my xanax because my first husband.  I have a wonderful boyfriend of a year and 4 months who has helped me buy my dads house.  We are a happy family and I am in college to get a degree after 14 months.  He has a great job with the railroad.  After all these bad things happening, life has finally gotten better. So to those of you that are suffering, I offer this...it will get better, even if it gets worse first.  Please try to do your best to handle the stress.  Go to the dr and get xanex if you need it.  My first husband used to beat me and I have anxiety BAD  and have to take xanex now.  But I also have other outlets for my stress.  I count my blessings now for my family and my boyfriend for helping me go back to school and not making me get a job so I can get straight A's. 
That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. Don't ever forget that ladies :)
 
September 27, 2008, 11:04 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: swarren8703

I would like to tell you a little bit about a little boy by the name of Brant Warren. This 9 year old has lived a very hard childhood since the day he was born. His biological mother was not ready to care for a baby. Before he was 9 months old, she had moved 11 times, married and divorced once (not to his Dad), and left Brant at friends, Grandparents, Dads, and his Uncles homes more then she took care of him herself. At age15 months old, the courts gave his Dad full custody. Dad gave up his farm house and move back to our house in order to have help raising his son and still work. They lived with us for 4 years; however, Dad met and fell in love with a student at OSU. They became engaged and married just before Brant turned 4. Within a year, Brant biological mother gave up all rights and let Brant's step mother adopt him. All was good for about one years. Brant learned to love and trust his new mother. Then Mom became pregnant for her own child. During the pregnancy things seemed to change. Brant didn't made Mom happy most of the time. She let him know that he was dirty, unacceptable and bad. Things deteriorated over the next few months, getting a little worse after Brants little brother was born. Brant started to rebel towards his mother to the point that Mom and Dad thought that something was wrong with him. He was placed in Kettering Children's psychiatric hospital for evaluation. After 6 days evaluation, the doctors found that Brant had no problems other then ADHD and server depression. When Brant was due to come home, Mom decided to leave. She told Brant that she was leaving because he was such a bad kid and she would not be coming home until he was good. That was 1 1/2 years ago. She left with his little brother and moved to Newark. Brant has only seen his brother 3-4 times since.

Meanwhile , Dad worked hard to reunited this family by getting a counselor for his wife, a counselor for his son, a family counselor, and (by order of Kettering) a Psychiatrist for Brant to deal with his lose; all at great cost. As Dad needed to be home when the school bus picked his son up at 8, and be home to get his son off the bus, his employer could not deal with all these problems. As construction work took a turn for the worse, an order came down for lay offs, and Dad was one of the first to go.

Brant's Dad looked hard for a job for the next 6 month while all his bills took a hard hit. When Dad was the only income of the house, he was barely keeping his heard above water, but now he was sinking. During this time, divorce papers were mailed to him and they would prevent him from seeing his youngest son, so he needed to procure his own attorney with the last of his savings. Dad has now (less the a month ago) started a new job, but they are looking at loosing their home. Dad has it up for sale, but with the down turn in housing sales, he is up side down on his loan. He sees no way to keep it and Brant will loose again. 

I'm telling you about this little 9 year old boy because he came to me and was worried about HIS father.  He worries that he doesn't love him any more or that he doesn't want him around any more.  I too worry about him to the point of having nightmare about him killing himself to get out from all his problems.  The lost of his wife, son, job, home, credit, and maybe his car, lawn mower, and the trailer that hauls it (everything in his life except his oldest son) is weighting him down to a point of lucking him into inactivity.  He seems to sit on his sofa, and email, text messages to friends, or playing game.  This is now he is escaping out of his world.  Unforturnitly, his son thinks Dad is escaping him.

 

This has brought me to tears!  I feel for them.  How dare that "mother" who adopted him when all was "well" turn her back on him. She obviously is selfish and doesn't love anyone but herself.  That poor little boy.  Kids shouldn't worry about their parents...it should be the other way around. 
My son worries about his bio dad because he is bi-polar and a recovering drug addict.  I have FULL custody and always will.
I sure hope that the dad you are speaking of can at least move home w/his parents or some close friend or relative and get back on his feet.  At least he has his son.  His ex wife and visitation will work out eventually...although it will be a long, emotional road ahead.  I pray he will be ok.
It makes me very thankful that even though all the bad I"ve had...I've got a world of good now.  I am so thankful!!
 
September 27, 2008, 11:09 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: getrealtime

If you can work part time you can work full time, go get a job and earn a living and stop asking the state to take care of you, if you haven't notice we can't take care of you we don't want to take care of you we want you to take care of yourself as many do.

 

get a full time job and start paying for your own way and see if you feel better, you are worring that if the state turns you down you are that much farther in the hole, you are the only one that can change your worries.

maybe she hurts too much to work full time.  Have you ever though of that?  Don't be so quick to judge.  I have back problems and Fibromyalgia and CANNOT do physical labor.  I am in school for business.  I have to take pain pills.  Stress causes  pain.  I can handle it though. When I'm done with school, I will have a DESK JOB.
My son, being preemie is still on SSI/SSD and if it wasn't for that, I couldn't pay my portion of the household bills.  Yes my boyfriend lives here and yes SSI knows...but since we both share the expenses, and we are not married, it is still ok.  I want to work part time...but I am scared to death that I will flunk out of school which is an accelerated program.  I have so much extra homework outside of full time school...I have no time for work yet.; not that I could find a job in the first place.  That is why I'm in school.
Until you walk in her life, don't bash on her.  Some people NEED the help.
 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last