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Topic : 10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Number of Replies: 116
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, September 26, 2008, 02:41:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

Did you know stress can take years off your life and even kill you? If you feel overwhelmed, overscheduled or overextended, you don't want to miss this show! Jamie says when she lost her job and her house went into foreclosure, she gained 30 pounds, had constant stomach aches and couldn't stop crying. Her problems seemed so insurmountable that she even started smoking for the first time in her life! Jamie's 17–year-old daughter, Breanna, blames herself for her mom's financial woes and says she doesn't even feel comfortable in her own home. Can this mother-daughter bond be restored? Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of the new book, The Stress Answer, shares tools that can help Jamie get back on track. Then, Susan says she’s quick to lose her temper and sometimes takes her anger out on her three children. She says she got so fed up with her family that she packed her bags and stayed at a hotel for several days! Dr. Lawlis pays this overworked mom a house call. Find out the stress-relieving techniques he taught Susan that you can do at home. And, Iron Chef Cat Cora whips up delicious recipes that can help you de-stress. Plus, tune in for an unbelievable performance to lift your spirits!  Share your views with others.  


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 2, 2008, 3:18 pm CDT

free2live

I was at the end of my rope. I felt like nothing would take me out of the depression I was falling into. I Spoke to Margie and realized that I was not alone and that there were thousands of people in my situation. I would always wonder why God didn't pick me to be one of those people that enjoyed their work AND made money. Then I realized...God helps those who help themselves. I was not helping myself, I was waddling in self pity. So, He and I had a little talk and I asked His guidance and started on this journey. A journey to a happier, healthier and independently wealthier me!

If you would like the opprtunity to hear the same life-changing program that I heard, go to Margie's site and log in. She will call you and explain her story and where this program has taken her. It will be well worth your 15 minutes. She will not pressure you into anything She will only ask you questions about yourself and then tell you to listen to a phone call. If you feel like the program is for you, she will have you call her back to move to the next step. This is so easy and I loved the fact that there was NO PRESSURE.  SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE EXCEPT STRESS.

 
October 2, 2008, 3:20 pm CDT

10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Quote From: cookiebaby64

I am very frustrated when I see a show like this because I have been stressed for 8 years,  I was a victim of a violent crime and I don't beleive I have ever recovered. Since them everything that has happened to me, large or small feels catostrophic and I have lost control.  To have Dr Phil give it a name "Depressive Stress Storm" has confirmed that I am in one.  I cannot sleep well, I don't think clearly, my once tidy house is a disaster area and when I do have the time to clean it, I choose a nap instead, It feels like everything I do is a major life decision. Just getting to the grocery store is major.  I have been seeing a counselor for almost 2 years and I am not getting better.. Since the attack, I have had a child , I have had cancer, I have gotten seperated,  I have become a single parent of 2 young boys, I get very little financial support or emotional support from dad,  I have started my own business and in the last year that too is failing. I don't feel attached to life anymore, I feel like I am absent other then making decisions, I am not partaking in life.  I don't feel alive other then the pain I barely stand each day.   How do I undo this?  How do I stop this storm realistically with my lifestyle?  I am stuck in the cycle... HELP
Im so sorry cookie for all your problems, to put it mildly. I also feel the "Depressive Sress Storm" if you want to call it that. Feels like more of a " Termoil Tension Tornado". I can't even type the way I used to, or bathe, or shop, or interact, or talk. All my words just get tangled up and messed up and don't make sense. My brain takes longer to react to what's in my mind. And there's so much in there that it's just like a wildwind going around and around and it just doesn't stop. My job is SO STRESSFUL and my husband is not working and when I come home..... it's like I can't take it anymore at this point, I just can't. I'm on the fence. I've been on the fence for so long I don't know what to do anymore. I can't even talk about it anymore cause I just get tired.
 
October 2, 2008, 3:22 pm CDT

Stressed Out

I am a mother of 2 teenage daughters. Been divorced for 13 years and raised my daughters on my own. I can understand about the mother of the teenage daughter, the house fore closing and all. Now here is my situattion. I was in a motor vehicle accident 1 year 8 months ago, unable to go back to work, or even to do regular daily acitivities such as taking care of myself , regular maintaince inside and out of my home. When I do drive my vechicle, it is because there is no one to drive me to my appointments.  Since February 2008, the only income I am recieving is child support and baby bonus. I have a mortgage, all home utilitiy bills, taxes, food, vehicle bills and so on. My oldest daughter has since moved in with her father where there has been no communication for the past 6 years between the two of them.I am hoping it is a teenage stage because there is so much stress in the house. I don't sleep at night, | can't think properly, eating is very minimal  and I feel I have  a failed in my life in regards to my daughters and myself.. I used to work 46 hours a week at my job, come home take care of the house,have a social life or even enjoy life without being in constant pain. My daughters do help around the house , but school is very important because they are Honour Role Students. The girls also have part time jobs and it isn't always fair to them to have to do all of the chores I would usually do because I am incapable of doing them anymore.  I have always been a very independant individual, and that isn't so anymore. I have been told that I will never recover from this car accident. So I ask myself, what do I do know and how am I suppose to survive not being able to do everyday activities or support my family.

As for the mother with the 17 year old daughter Breanna, at least there is some type of job that you are capable of doing. I wish I could say the same. At least you are able to get unemployment or welfare as I am unable to.  Good luck to you and your daughter. I live one day at a time because that is all that I can do.

Hopefully my oldest daughter will come home soon. And one more thing, our family in the past 3 weeks is now dealing with my older brother having colon cancer, and my dad having it for the past 2 years.

I do have support from my family and friends but there is only so much people can do for you other then being there for you.

 I pray every morning and night and thank God for giving me another day, but some days are just too difficult.

As for all of us that are under stress whatever the case may be, sometimes our stress is not as bad as someone else. There is always someone who is in a worst position.

 

 

 
October 2, 2008, 3:36 pm CDT

There is presently a BE ON THE SHOW opportunity

Quote From: cookiebaby64

I am very frustrated when I see a show like this because I have been stressed for 8 years,  I was a victim of a violent crime and I don't beleive I have ever recovered. Since them everything that has happened to me, large or small feels catostrophic and I have lost control.  To have Dr Phil give it a name "Depressive Stress Storm" has confirmed that I am in one.  I cannot sleep well, I don't think clearly, my once tidy house is a disaster area and when I do have the time to clean it, I choose a nap instead, It feels like everything I do is a major life decision. Just getting to the grocery store is major.  I have been seeing a counselor for almost 2 years and I am not getting better.. Since the attack, I have had a child , I have had cancer, I have gotten seperated,  I have become a single parent of 2 young boys, I get very little financial support or emotional support from dad,  I have started my own business and in the last year that too is failing. I don't feel attached to life anymore, I feel like I am absent other then making decisions, I am not partaking in life.  I don't feel alive other then the pain I barely stand each day.   How do I undo this?  How do I stop this storm realistically with my lifestyle?  I am stuck in the cycle... HELP
Upcoming BE ON THE SHOW opportunity first link:
"Crime Victims: Still Reliving the NIGHTMARE?"

http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=12754

PTSD was first coined for returning Vietnam vets yet is, now, all encompassing of traumatic events from being a battered wife to war to surviving a hurricane and other tragic events etc. Even losing a loved one to natural causes can be traumatic. Divorce etc.

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/index.jsp

Some of the very first medical advancements are through the military such as presently propranolol is being used in a study on veterans with PTSD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propranolol

The best thing is first to try to heal without medication IF at all possible.

PTSD sufferers are advised to avoid caffeine. See, the adrenal glands are above the kidneys, one above each. Prolonged stress is sort of like a light switch that sticks on ON or a scratch on an album that repeats the same verser over and over.

Essentially healthy habits equals healthy lifestyle equals feeling optimum.

Including taking vitamins like Dr. Phil Omega vitamin Robin gives to Dr. Phil and vitamins Dr. Phil gave to audience. You can click on link to today's show to see Transcript to see exactly which vitamins Dr. Phil gave to the audience.

http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/1133/

Not to mention the dietary tips suggested on today's show. If low on funds check book out at library.


Scroll down at first link and begin reading at HOME CARE:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003213.htm

If you haven't you can also click on
CONTACT DR. PHIL
To contact Dr. Phil

Best wishes to you and all who are:
"Stressed to the Max"
LEARNING TO RELAX...

I'll see if I can change my profile pic to pink flowers since Dr. Lawlis said flowers can be calming and researchers have said pink can be relaxing as well.


 
October 2, 2008, 3:37 pm CDT

not that great of advice 2day

Dr. Phil, You really let the ball drop today with Jamie-She was in such great pain and you gave her carrots (cooking gal) and blue men (drums) You help alcoholics, drug addicts, moochers,hoarders, cheaters,liars and even feed and house obese people-I kept waiting for you to help her get an apt for even 3 mos, some mental health help (not just visiting with dr L after the show in the back) and maybe someone who could help her get a job (life coach) shes one of your most normal guests, who is hurting like millions of people right now and needed a real boost with real solutions-it would have made me happy to see her get a break!!
 
October 2, 2008, 3:43 pm CDT

Stress Relief

 I feel so bad for the mother about tlose her home and her teenage daughter in her senior year in high school. In a very real way, her daughter is beginning to learn the value of adult family situations and the myriad of situations she has been protected from knowing about. Where is very husband through all of this? Is there back child support she needs to go after? Sell the house. It's a building that has no emotional attachment other than what the homeowner places on it. When I moved from my home, it was stressful but I also had a mantra that goes like this, "Father, thank you for the miracles you are about to perform in my life. Amen" That simple statement has taught me to calm down, simplify my life and needs and maintain a savings account for future surprises. I work in finance and can't begin to tell you how many people live beyond their means with house and especially, car payments. Bankruptcy court generally  allows you to keep your car which simply floors me. If you had't gotten into that ripoff industry, you likely would not be at bBankruptcy court. I'd like the Bankruptcy court to deny filing even there are any car payments you are supporting. A house, of course, is a bit different. I really feel for the mom trying to show her daughter how to live a good life. You can still teach her the value of living within your means by moving into other housing like an apartment or condo. Next year, she can attend community college-she can get an Associate's degree at most community colleges within 2 years. I found that any degree helps to get you a better paying job. And why waste money of the first 2 years in a 4-yr college when it would we wiser to stay near home, avoid dorm costs and catch up with your friends 2 years later. It will make your daughter a stronger, more mature person to learn how to deal with unfortunate life occurrences.

So, after the woman hears all the things she can do to avaoid stress, will Dr. Phil help her find a place to live or help her with her mortgage? I can't wait to see. That's what she is really hoping for sitting on that couch listening to his advice on de-stressing. save her home and she'll instantly destress-duh.
 
October 2, 2008, 3:47 pm CDT

Daily Mantra

Quote From: goddes

I am a mother of 2 teenage daughters. Been divorced for 13 years and raised my daughters on my own. I can understand about the mother of the teenage daughter, the house fore closing and all. Now here is my situattion. I was in a motor vehicle accident 1 year 8 months ago, unable to go back to work, or even to do regular daily acitivities such as taking care of myself , regular maintaince inside and out of my home. When I do drive my vechicle, it is because there is no one to drive me to my appointments.  Since February 2008, the only income I am recieving is child support and baby bonus. I have a mortgage, all home utilitiy bills, taxes, food, vehicle bills and so on. My oldest daughter has since moved in with her father where there has been no communication for the past 6 years between the two of them.I am hoping it is a teenage stage because there is so much stress in the house. I don't sleep at night,  can't think properly, eating is very minimal  and I feel I have  a failed in my life in regards to my daughters and myself.. I used to work 46 hours a week at my job, come home take care of the house,have a social life or even enjoy life without being in constant pain. My daughters do help around the house , but school is very important because they are Honour Role Students. The girls also have part time jobs and it isn't always fair to them to have to do all of the chores I would usually do because I am incapable of doing them anymore.  I have always been a very independant individual, and that isn't so anymore. I have been told that I will never recover from this car accident. So I ask myself, what do I do know and how am I suppose to survive not being able to do everyday activities or support my family.

As for the mother with the 17 year old daughter Breanna, at least there is some type of job that you are capable of doing. I wish I could say the same. At least you are able to get unemployment or welfare as I am unable to.  Good luck to you and your daughter. I live one day at a time because that is all that I can do.

Hopefully my oldest daughter will come home soon. And one more thing, our family in the past 3 weeks is now dealing with my older brother having colon cancer, and my dad having it for the past 2 years.

I do have support from my family and friends but there is only so much people can do for you other then being there for you.

 I pray every morning and night and thank God for giving me another day, but some days are just too difficult.

As for all of us that are under stress whatever the case may be, sometimes our stress is not as bad as someone else. There is always someone who is in a worst position.

 

 

                "Thank you Father for the miracles you are working on
                  in my life. Amen"
 
October 2, 2008, 4:03 pm CDT

STRESSED AND SCARED

I can absolutely relate! I recently lost my job (that is a story in itself!) and I have been struggling to find another one. My husband, three kids and I had just got our own house after my parents left to another state. We were living with them because they lost their jobs and my husband and I were still working so they asked us to move in and help them out. We did and boy was that a mistake. My father did very little to find something and when he did, his mouth ended up getting him fired! They ended up telling us it wasn't working out and up and moved leaving me, my husband and three children, one four months old at the time! We had a week to find a place, a daycare, change utilities, schools, and still go to work ever day. We worked for the same company and we were constantly, on a daily basis putting in overtime. We never got paid for it. They ended firing me. We are two months behind on rent, and our utilities are all past due, are car payments are past due, we have barely enough for grocieries and gas. I just applied for food stamps and WIC. I have never been on any kind of assistance and it hurts my pride to have to ask for it now but I don't know what else to do. I am very depressed and stressed. I spend most of the time crying and praying. I don't know how to get out of this hole I am in. I feel helpless. I have applied for many jobs and no matter how many replies I get that I am qualified, still nothing has turned up. I am willing to take anything! Part time, full time, work from home, seasonal, anything. I am scared we are going to end up on the streets. I know it is affecting my kids eventhough I do my best to keep whats going on from them. My six yr. old daughter went with me to the store yesterday and after checking out, I gave her the change from the transaction and told her if she could tell me how much was there she could keep it. I always do this to help them learn about money and math. She came up with the right amont, .38 cents. I told her when we get home to put it in her bank and she said she wanted to give it to me. I asked her why and she said, "because you have no money and I want to help you so you can be happy again and so we can have food."
 
October 2, 2008, 4:12 pm CDT

EMOTIONAL AND LIFE SKILL EDUCATION K-12

Quote From: yesyoucan

Now, we just need y'all and y'all's colleagues to begin EMOTIONAL AND LIFE SKILL EDUCATION K-12 DAILY CLASSES in our schools because our EQ's are as important as our IQ's. Long has been the debate if parents or schools should teach best behavioral responses. However, parents cannot teach what they have not learned like the 4th R (Respect for ourselves and one another) which includes healthy habits, behavior and ways of interacting "and" coping. Becoming best CEO of life because as Dr. Phil says, "Life isn't cured. It is managed."

A class ideally led by a man and woman teaching side by side with mutual respect to address age appropriate topics, role playing, and a wonderful place for all those 4 year sociology and psychology persons to get a teaching certificate to teach. Clinton Administration thought a good idea in 1998, and sent me every Department of Eductions address to submit too. I didn't have the credentials or wherewithal y'all have to implement. Until implemented THANK GOD for the Dr. Phil Show and his expert colleagues like Dr. Lawlis while everyone plays emotional catch up to better cope with life and life's challenges.

ABSOLUTELY... Shallow breathing has been linked to anxiety, panic and depression. Literally, many things can take the wind out of our sails. Even just walking to the corner and back thinking a mantra like:

"Head up straight
Shoulders back
Calm Relaxed
Poised & Confident"

OR

"Head up straight
Shoulders back
Healthy Diet
Healthy Lifestyle"


Lightly touch thumbs simultaneously to each finger of hand as you think so you do this ten times. That way you don't have to focus on counting and can enjoy relaxing.

Even a funny saying to DEstress. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." A banana a day brings sweet dreams to stay.

Words have a mind/body connotative relationship. For instance if you get carried away with negative WHATIF(itis) you can exacerbate stress. However, simply writing an entire notebook of "Fear Not. Have Faith" can be calming in word/mind/association.

DR. PHIL QUOTE: "You are the one who talks to you all day, every day. Characterize messages you send yourself by a rational and productive optimism.

As well, you can begin individual and family SELF MATTERS ME or FAMILY (WE) notebooks. Leave in a visible place as an eye/sight cue reminder.

INDIVIDUAL:
Title inside or outside of cover:
SELF MATTERS INCLUDES: sign your name with confidence like an autograph.
Then DAILY make an entry:
Title each page this way...
SELF MATTERS INCLUDES: sign your name with confidence like an autograph.
Then write ten compliments, goals or affirmations.

FAMILY:
Title notebook and each Daily or Weekly entry: Family last name.
Team players
each family members name autographed by each member
Then beneath Team family name and team players names write:
"one for all all for one"
Then, two compliments or goal for each member.
Two compliments or goals as a family.


Scroll down at first link and begin reading at HOME CARE to maintain homeostasis ... balance ... equilibrium:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003213.htm

When you keep consistent healthy habits your body and mind have an idea what to expect. If you get your habits out of kilter pretty soon your body and mind have no idea what you plan to do next which. Life is mostly habit. I wish us all the best habits. Life is like economics: choice. I wish us all the best choices one healthier choice at a time.

As well, Exercise even walking to the corner and back is a natural mood elevator and raises endorphin level as well as oxygenates the brain. Putting the wind back into your sails.

Dr. Phil's son, Jay, says to the count of five in his book for teens and most women say to count of five works best. So for those of us not six feet tall football players like Dr. Phil...I changed to Jay's count of 5.

Relaxation Script by Dr. Phil

Appendix A, page 285 - 286 WLC book  

BREATHE to count of FIVE each way ...in and out... (7 FOR FOOTBALL STARS)

"Focus on your breathing: (UWS, PAGE 286) "Breathing out EXACTLY to count of 1-2-3-4-5.  So focus on letting go of everything you want to let go, especially stress, fear and any other destabalizing emotions. For a few moments, practice letting go of any tension, stress, feelings, or thoughts that you don't need right now. Let them go. Then breathe in EXACTLY to the count of 1-2-3-4-5...

Next, I want you to know that when you let these things go with your out-breath, you are replacing that space with good, nurturing air with your in-breath. Visualize that good air coming into your body and healing whatever needs restoration. Send that air to anywhere in your body and feel the love and caring you are giving yourself right now. Bring it into yourself. Practice this for a little while.

What you need to do next is to balance these in-breaths with the out-breaths, so that you will feel soothing relaxation and balance coming into your body. Practice breathing in to a count of five, 1-2-3-4-5, now breathe out, 1-2-3-4-5, in-breath, 1-2-3-4-5, and out-breath 1-2-3-4-5. count for yourself for each in-breath and out-breath for at least five minutes.

Note to yourself that you are balancing your out-breaths and in-breaths, letting the stress and tension leave your body, and allowing the good nurturing air to come in. You are releasing the stress and bringing the healing forces in. "

 EMOTIONAL AND LIFE SKILL EDUCATION K-12 DAILY CLASSES in our schools. I have been saying this for years. I think our schools need to add psychology classes to every school, beginning with first grade. How to get along with class-mates, how to react to various potentially hurtful situations and will benefit our children so much, especially when they're further along in the educational process and, eventually, go into the job market. Basics of saving money could be taught to the middle school kids along with interpersonal relationship guidelines, role-playing (ideal for the 4th-high school grades).
 
October 2, 2008, 4:21 pm CDT

I can relate to Jamie

I can so relate. I am a single 45 yr. old who is $50,000 in debt ready to file bankruptcy whose job has been cut back to 20-25 hrs a week and a daughter turning 20 who moved out because I am not able to help her financially with school, car and more. I don't sleep well, eat/not eat depending on mood, and don't do things I use to do for lack of money and self esteem issues. I have gained weight and having back problems again. I haven't told any of my friends for fear they won't understand or want to be around me. I don't own or ever owned a home because my credit is so bad, I can't even get a credit card. I've always rented for the last 15 yrs. and have never gotten any of my deposits back regardless of how spotless the place is they have always found ways to keep it. Alot of my jobs have been seasonal and budgeting has always been a problem. I don't have medical coverage so going to a doctor or dentist doesn't happen, espically when I have to decide wether to pay rent and bills or seek medical attention.

I am going to try and implement some of the things on the show today to help me. I don't like the place I'm in and I have lost my cool at work a couple of times only to a couple of people and with things in termoil at work, hours being cut and more I am afraid to lose my job again and have to start over in something again for the 5th time in 2 yrs.

If anyone has good web sites or know where a person can turn please post the info to help some of us.

 
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