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Topic : 10/02 Stressed Out to the Max

Number of Replies: 116
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, September 26, 2008, 02:41:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

Did you know stress can take years off your life and even kill you? If you feel overwhelmed, overscheduled or overextended, you don't want to miss this show! Jamie says when she lost her job and her house went into foreclosure, she gained 30 pounds, had constant stomach aches and couldn't stop crying. Her problems seemed so insurmountable that she even started smoking for the first time in her life! Jamie's 17–year-old daughter, Breanna, blames herself for her mom's financial woes and says she doesn't even feel comfortable in her own home. Can this mother-daughter bond be restored? Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of the new book, The Stress Answer, shares tools that can help Jamie get back on track. Then, Susan says she’s quick to lose her temper and sometimes takes her anger out on her three children. She says she got so fed up with her family that she packed her bags and stayed at a hotel for several days! Dr. Lawlis pays this overworked mom a house call. Find out the stress-relieving techniques he taught Susan that you can do at home. And, Iron Chef Cat Cora whips up delicious recipes that can help you de-stress. Plus, tune in for an unbelievable performance to lift your spirits!  Share your views with others.  


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 4, 2008, 1:21 am CDT

advice

Quote From: acamp922

I am 19... I've been in college for a year now and I am taking time off this semester to re-group.

My mom turned into an alcoholic, abandoned me my senior year and only was there for me financially even though I had to work and go to school and miss out on some things my senior year that I could have been a part of if the situation was different. Then she got even worse and while I was working 2 jobs and going to school part time this last semester so I could work two jobs and help her out because she was taking care of her dying husband and spending money on hospital bills, alcohol, and cigarettes. Well this summer, she got plastered one night and kicked me out. I havent had a home for nearly 5 months now. I have lived with her ex-best friend, my best friend, my boyfriend, and now I am staying with her but I will probably be going back to her ex-best friend's house tonight actually for about a week until my boyfriend's parents get my room ready. Then I am moving to Arkansas for college in January. Now I am afraid that she will take my cell phone, laptop, wont let me use her info for a pell grant, wont help me financially, and when I get to college I will have to not only focus on school but getting a job and paying for things on my own and not getting to gradually break away from it. Thankfully my dad is paying my car insurance and the car is in my name but he cant really help me much financially because he lives down south and the hurricanes are causing major problems.

So I am worried about paying for college, paying for other necessities, being a college student, and having to work way more than I should have to because my mom has an alcohol problem and cant get grips on her life and is in the end punishing me for something she's done to herself.

 

Well that is my story... Any advice?

When I went to college I was able to get an exception for the financial aide...you just have to explain your situation to the financial aide advisor (my mom wasn't around and my dad didn't know I existed--my grammy raised me--I wasn't a ward of the state--I was considered independent even though I was only 18 or 19)  Check with the school and the financial aide office to see if they would consider letting you file for financial aide as an independent--they may just have to sign off on the financial aide each time until you hit a certain age.  Good luck

 
October 4, 2008, 9:30 am CDT

I do agree

Quote From: acamp922

One thing I have learned throughout all of my issues with people, within myself, and with all I have gone through and seen, that every single thing happens for a reason and you just have to have faith that you will get through it. God never throws anything at us that we cant handle. He knows our strengths, weaknesses, and how far it is to our breaking points. You probably read my story and 2 years ago, there is NO WAY I could have handled all of this. I would have probably done some irrational, stupid stuff to ruin my life. But God gradually put me through things that would make me stronger over time. He was preparing me for this summer specifically.

I have gone through what you were just saying. Not to that extent with a boyfriend but I did have a very controlling one for 2 1/2 years. Most of my high school life. One thing you must remember is IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I have been conditioned by nearly everyone in my life to think its my fault for everything that happens. My mom and dad got divorced and could never agree on anything because of me... so I thought that was my fault. My mom couldnt afford a lot being a single parent so I thought that was my fault. My boyfriend made me feel like everything was my fault. My mom always blames me for everything. And now I have an AMAZING boyfriend and my conditioned behavior is carrying over into our relationship and I am having to get used to being treated right. I have been conditioned for so long to think that being treated wrong by everyone is how it is supposed to be that I have to get used to the good stuff. How crazy is that?!

 

Girl you will be fine. Have faith and pray it up!!! Once you give ALL of your problems to God, it is such a relief. We arent capable of handling all of life's curveballs, it is impossible! You are gonna be fine though. I have faith in you ;)

I do agree with the saying that God never gives us more than we can handle. Sometimes we need to back up and understand what he is really trying to tell us. I am going through my own stresses. I am married to a man that has more than 1 addiction and there is no marriage. To me we act like friends. There is nothing in our marriage right now that would constitute marriage other than the paper. I know its not as stressful as some I have read on here. We do have our own things. Being in a happy home would be awesome. I can't wait ! I know I need to get out, and am working on how to do that. And when.

My heart goes out to all that are hurting. Its great that we have a show like Dr. Phil puts on to help people.

Some days I don't know where to turn, or what to do for sure.

I have come a ways though, and I look forward to getting the rest of the way there.  People need to get healthy themselves before we can help anybody else.

I hope everybody has a great day and work hard towards goals and lean on the word of God.

Peaches

 
October 4, 2008, 3:11 pm CDT

Think UR handling stress OK? Think again!

Quote From: peaches1063

I do agree with the saying that God never gives us more than we can handle. Sometimes we need to back up and understand what he is really trying to tell us. I am going through my own stresses. I am married to a man that has more than 1 addiction and there is no marriage. To me we act like friends. There is nothing in our marriage right now that would constitute marriage other than the paper. I know its not as stressful as some I have read on here. We do have our own things. Being in a happy home would be awesome. I can't wait ! I know I need to get out, and am working on how to do that. And when.

My heart goes out to all that are hurting. Its great that we have a show like Dr. Phil puts on to help people.

Some days I don't know where to turn, or what to do for sure.

I have come a ways though, and I look forward to getting the rest of the way there.  People need to get healthy themselves before we can help anybody else.

I hope everybody has a great day and work hard towards goals and lean on the word of God.

Peaches

I keep my stress locked inside.  Apparently, I am more stressed that I ever realized.  I have chronic pain no doctors or PT's could relieve in my left jaw, neck, shoulder, back.  I finally tried acupuncture out of pure desperation.  The first treatment w/ the needles was OK but needed something more aggressive.  This was all the stagnate blood brought to the surface of my skin.  The blood flow was blocked.  This occurs from all kinds of things.  Emotional pain, stress, tension, physical injury, viruses, infections, etc. . . . basically all the dead blood is brought out and fresh blood can flow in.  The darker the color, the worse the condition, or blockage.  Colors range from light pink to almost black.  The guest today was talking about how she couldn't even think for problem solve because the stressors were so bad.  After this treatment I IMMEDIATELY felt blessed relief!  My creativity, energy, personality came flooding back.  I didn't realize how much I had lost.  The acpuncturinst said the was "years worth of s--- " coming up.  She said she had seen very few people so bad.  My brother went after I did.  I expected him to be as bad as I was--not even close!  I always feel guilty for being stressed because so many people have much worse situations than I.  I guess I just didn't realize how much I was shutting down pretending things didn't worry me.  My second scraping was about 15 days later, when I started to feel the pain return.  Those results were drastically different and much better.  I have pic's of that too, but I won't drag out this post any longer.  The sad thing is, I am sitting here in so much pain right now because I cannot afford to go back yet.  I am losing focus and memory again.  I would love to hear from anyone else who has had this done.

 
October 4, 2008, 11:33 pm CDT

Think UR handling stress? Think again!

I am just figuring out this site, so I think I might have accidentally put this up as a quote to another post, but I just meant to post, so sorry if this duplicates!! 

 

I keep my stress locked inside.  Apparently, I am more stressed that I ever realized.  I have chronic pain no doctors or PT's could relieve in my left jaw, neck, shoulder, back.  I finally tried acupuncture out of pure desperation.  The first treatment w/ the needles was OK but needed something more aggressive.  This was all the stagnate blood brought to the surface of my skin.  The blood flow was blocked.  This occurs from all kinds of things.  Emotional pain, stress, tension, physical injury, viruses, infections, etc. . . . basically all the dead blood is brought out and fresh blood can flow in.  The darker the color, the worse the condition, or blockage.  Colors range from light pink to almost black.  The guest today was talking about how she couldn't even think for problem solve because the stressors were so bad.  After this treatment I IMMEDIATELY felt blessed relief!  My creativity, energy, personality came flooding back.  I didn't realize how much I had lost.  The acpuncturinst said the was "years worth of s--- " coming up.  She said she had seen very few people so bad.  My brother went after I did.  I expected him to be as bad as I was--not even close!  I always feel guilty for being stressed because so many people have much worse situations than I.  I guess I just didn't realize how much I was shutting down pretending things didn't worry me.  My second scraping was about 15 days later, when I started to feel the pain return.  Those results were drastically different and much better.  I have pic's of that too, but I won't drag out this post any longer.  The sad thing is, I am sitting here in so much pain right now because I cannot afford to go back yet.  I am losing focus and memory again.  I would love to hear from anyone else who has had this done!

 
October 5, 2008, 7:59 am CDT

I'm stressed to the max!

I wish I could have seen this entire show, but I only watched half. I too am dealing with a great deal of stress. I'm not going to bother going into it all, I don't have all day. But the biggest cause of my stress is my health. I was disabled about 8 years ago and am now on SSD. I have recently found out that I also have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and I've also been diagnosed with Lupus, but now the doc's are on the fence on that one, and are also doing nothing about it. But that doesn't even have anything to do with my disability. I have had 2 failed back surgeries and 1 reconstructive surgery. I live in severe chronic pain, have to rely on Oxycontin just to survive, and this goes on 24/7. This has completely changed my life, and that of my husband's. Actually I'm in too much pain to continue this, I will have to finish later. I have to do everything in spurts! I do want to say that when the doc talked about how it actually changes the function of the brain, I recognized myself in that description. My memory? Gone! My decision making capabilities? Gone! No matter what the actual cause for our individual stress may be, it still effects us all in the same way. I can really empathize with all of you in the same boat. I understand! My best to all.

Jewels

 
October 5, 2008, 8:03 am CDT

Not too sure about.......................

Quote From: peaches1063

I do agree with the saying that God never gives us more than we can handle. Sometimes we need to back up and understand what he is really trying to tell us. I am going through my own stresses. I am married to a man that has more than 1 addiction and there is no marriage. To me we act like friends. There is nothing in our marriage right now that would constitute marriage other than the paper. I know its not as stressful as some I have read on here. We do have our own things. Being in a happy home would be awesome. I can't wait ! I know I need to get out, and am working on how to do that. And when.

My heart goes out to all that are hurting. Its great that we have a show like Dr. Phil puts on to help people.

Some days I don't know where to turn, or what to do for sure.

I have come a ways though, and I look forward to getting the rest of the way there.  People need to get healthy themselves before we can help anybody else.

I hope everybody has a great day and work hard towards goals and lean on the word of God.

Peaches

To be honest, although I do believe in God, I don't know if I actually believe that he does not put more on us then we can handle. Stress is a killer. First there is suicide, then stress causes cancer and heart disease. The body cannot always "handle" all of this stress. I know mine isn't taking it too well.
 
October 5, 2008, 11:33 am CDT

Why?

Quote From: ginarutman

Dear Dr. Phil,

I watched your show today and the woman with three children makes me sick.  All I ever see on your show are house wives with three or less children complaining about how stressed they are.  I would do anything to have there life.  I am a stay home mom right now but is by force not by choice.  My husband has a full time job that takes up all of the day.  The problem with this job is that is does not support us.  We have five children and are living with my father-in-law.  I would love to see how those women would deal with my everyday stress.  They would probably not even make until dinner.  It just makes me sick at how clueless people are.  There are people have it even worse that me.  They should think of that before calling your show and crying about there lives.
Why do you have 5 children?
 
October 5, 2008, 11:38 am CDT

why?

Quote From: lashayy

I have six kids 5 boys an a girl an I feel overwhelmed all the time.I can plan my day an think about all I have too do an If i get one thing done i am tired.I don't have money to send my kids on field trips with the school an can't give them things when they  need it.It makes me feel real low.I fill out at least 2 applications a week and still I have no luck finding a job.I try to hide my feelings towards my kids but they know they can look at me an tell when something ain't right .It is hurtful to tell them that I don't have the money or we can't pay a bill this month an let stuff get cut off.I wonder a lot on how it effects them with the things I am going through trying to provide for them.I live in public housing an have always worked to jobs to provide for my kids.I feel like I am drowning an can't pick myself up.I have uncontrollable high blood pressure an have a lot of anxiety attacks which I think they are small heartattacks .I am glad Dr. phil did this show so I can see how to deal with my stress but finding work is another story.  
Why do you have 6 kids?
 
October 5, 2008, 2:27 pm CDT

to jewelsf

Quote From: jewelsf

To be honest, although I do believe in God, I don't know if I actually believe that he does not put more on us then we can handle. Stress is a killer. First there is suicide, then stress causes cancer and heart disease. The body cannot always "handle" all of this stress. I know mine isn't taking it too well.

Hi jewels!!! Just read your posts.  I am sorry to hear of the stress you are going through. E-mail me if you want a listening ear!

Juliebgg

 
October 5, 2008, 3:19 pm CDT

Glad Someone Isn't Buying Into this Pitty Party

Quote From: getrealtime

If you can work part time you can work full time, go get a job and earn a living and stop asking the state to take care of you, if you haven't notice we can't take care of you we don't want to take care of you we want you to take care of yourself as many do.

 

get a full time job and start paying for your own way and see if you feel better, you are worring that if the state turns you down you are that much farther in the hole, you are the only one that can change your worries.

Quite honestly it is a bit too much more me.  If I heard correct the woman on the show was making 150,000 a year.   Better yet she made this money by being involved in the corrupt mortgage industry.   Yet someone how despite making in 1 year, what would take me over 5 years to make (this is including currently working two jobs) she now expects my tax payer dollars to bail her out.  As for the food banks in my area I am starting to get really fed up with them because they only want donations of things that I can't even always afford to buy for myself in order to make sure I keep enough saving to keep up my own financial stability.   But back to the lady on the show when I see someone who made lots of money and made it in ways that were bad and took down the economy and prevent me from being a legitimate homeowner(because housing prices soared), I feel that if 150,000 a year wasn't enough to put money in the bank for savings, then why should I feel sorry for you.  In fact, I feel like you got what you deserved.  

As for people who are seriously disabled I do believe the government should provide basic needs for them such as shelter, food, and medical services/medicine, but the government should provide the service and not just give them money.  


 As for Lucy I don't want to judge, but there are actually jobs out there that you can do even if injured.   Answering Services and places that do surveys by the telephone are almost always looking for people. In fact, some of these places will even let you work mainly from home.   Additionally, I understand that you are having neck and back pain but there are things that you can do to often help improve these conditions.  You said that you have been gaining weight and this will only make these conditions worse.   Take control of your nutrition and if you don't already start exercising(get your physicians approval first), especially stretching and especially stretching the piriformis (you should be able to google search this).   You may also want to try yoga, tai chi, or chi gong (not as familar w/this one but heard its good).   Of course I will add in the mandatory check with your physician before you start any of this.  
 
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