Topic : 12/26 "Brainwashed by My Parents"

I am married to a wonderful husband and father, but I see what he has to go through with his 2 kids because of his ex wife.  She is a very evil, selfish person.  I have 3 kids myself and couldn't imagine putting my kids through what she does to hers.  There is a 5 year old daughter that won't be anywhere near her dad while her mom is around and when we ask her why she says "because my mommy says it makes her sad when she sees me with you".  She will also say things out of the blue as to what her mom says to her about her dad and about her moms and dads relationship and why they are divorced.  I could keep going on with everything we hear and how the little girl acts towards her dad. 

The little boy is 7 and he cries at night on Fridays saying that his mommy is all alone and he needs to go and be with her.  Although, when she has them she drops them off at the grandparents house so she can go out on the weekends.  She just does this prior to them coming down to our home.  When we pick them up she is sitting in the back of their van with them and makes us wait while she is telling them stuff.

She is the one that broke their marriage up.  If she is in the mood to want him back after 3 years now and she hears we are having problems through the kids, she will call my husband to try to get back in the radar.  She is also where the kids are in sports but won't pack their sports uniform because she wants the kids back with her while at their games and wants to dress them in the car once we get there.

I truely feel this is exactly what the show is talking about and it stems from her past.  She grew up with out a father because her mother did the same thing to her and wouldn't let them have a relationship and she would just prefer the kids not having a father because she grew up without one.  We have been having these issues since I've been in the picture.  For the longest time she had to try to call them on our weekends because she was having withdraws and just wanted to hear them cry for her.  This woman has serious issues but we feel she needs counseling not necessarily that the kids need to be taken from her.  She does use the kids as pawns and thinks of them as items not as children that she is being abuseful to.

I am thankful that you have used your program to get the word out about PAS, and share with divorced parents that it is not acceptable behavior. 

My exhusband is a minister.  For years before he finally stated he wanted a divorce he was brainwashing my children against me.  My eldest daughter, who is now 17, shared with me after we moved out of his residence the extent of what was said.  She also shared that he was brainwashing her against her biological father also.

My younger children are boys.  They hear his details about the divorce that no child should hear.  My exhusband has given my eleven year old the paperwork from the divorce, the letters he wrote to his lawyer and emails that I supposedly wrote.  He has told my son that I hae a disease, that makes me change my mind.

It is not only him, it is my exmother in law also.  Before we left, she walked my son around the house, looking around, and bad mouthed me.  She told my son that I was a sinner and going to hell.

I do not discuss matters that should be between adults with my children.  I do answer questions.  I will not lie, I have occasionally spoken out against my exhusband.  But, I promised myself, and my children that I would not speak poorly about their father.  For the most part, I have kept my promise. 

I believe that when a parent, in my case my exhusband and his family is abusive against the children and wife/husband, they SHOULD NOT SEE THE CHILD.  THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE VISITATION!!!! 

I could tell you many things, many falshoods my exhusband has said.  I do not believe he should have visitation. 

I have been on both sides of this.  I have two boys of my own and three step kids.  My husband loves his children and we have tried to make our home a happy place for all of the kids.  It is a hard thing to do.  My husbands ex talks bad about my husdand my boys and myself, she has told her kids to be mean to my kids, hit them call them names and try anything they could do to make life at our home hell.  They have done some of the things she wants to make her happy.  They would get home from our house and they would have interrogation hour, she wanted to know everything that happened over the weekend, were we went, what we ate, what was said, she would have them listen to all converations and report back to her.  She found out through them what we paid for rent, she found out anything.  My oldest step son stopped coming over when he was 12 because he did not want anything to do with a step family, he stopped talking to his dad and no matter what my husband tried he wouldn't talk to him.  I felt guilty because I was relieved that he didn't come over anymore because he was just so mean to everyone, even his own brother and sister, it was like we all breathed easier when he wasn't around but I felt so bad for my husband because it really hurt him.  His kids are now 20, 20 ,&22 and things aren't much easier for all of us, you would think after 13 years and her being remarried would help but it didn't, she is still as mean and nasty as always.

My ex husband talks bad about me and my husband but my boys really don't listen to him because they know what kind of people we really are and that we are always there for them and their step brother and sister.  My oldest has high functioning autuism and he can reads people well, if he don't like you then he won't be around you.  I have never talked bad about my ex, well not in front of the kids, I feel that they will figure it out for themself and they have.  I only wish my step kids could figure out what a liar and controlling person their mother really is. She can make up the best stories about people.

I totally agree with 'Natesmom4ever'.........  We have been battling a bitter bio-mom for 12 years now.

Dr. Phil's "5 mistakes parents make" ........ she's done/doing all 5

My question for Dr. Phil (are you listening ?) is -----  what can we do to help a child who has been put in this situation ?  We can all recite our horror stories, but later today, when he's home from school, what can we do to help him ?

ME TOO !!!  I just sent an e-mail to my husband's ex that said "my mom and dad are still fighting 35 years later and making me miseralbe, do you want that for your son??!"

My husband's ex gave up custody a year ago because she couldn't handle the boy anymore.  Just like I said 9 years ago, " she's corrupt him and he'll have trouble in school, and will be full of attitude, and when she gets frustrated, she'll send him to us and say 'fix him;"  and that is EXACTLY what happened.

I just finished watching your show.  I really enjoyed watching your show, but didn't like the lady lawyer you had on this morning.  She didn't answer your questions like you asked them to her.

Thank you

G.B.