Topic : 12/26 "Brainwashed by My Parents"

 

I WAS TOTALLY THE PARENT WHO TOOK CARE OF MY CHILD.  HER FATHER HAD NO INTERACTION WITH HER.

 

ONCE I INITIATED A DIVORCE, HE AND HIS PARENTS STARTED A CAMPAIGN OF TELLING MY CHILD, I DID NOT LOVE HER, I WAS ON DRUGS, I WAS CRAZY AND SHE COULD NEVER LIVE WITH ME.

 

HE NEVER LET UP, DID NOT ALLOW HER TO GO COUNSELING WITHOUT INTERFERRING,  I HAD TO FIGHT FOR HER TO HAVE HER RECORDS KEPT CONFIDENTIAL.  SHE WAS SO TROUBLED, AND PURELY HATED ME.  THEY USE TO JOIN IN GAMES TO DISTROY ME.

THIS WAS A CHILD WHO WAS SO CLOSE TO ME.  ONE DOCTOR TOLD ME WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT 15 SHOULD WILL BE ABLE TO SEPARATE TRUTH FROM LIES.

 

MY POOR DAUGHTER LIVED WITH HIM AND WAS CO-DEPENDANT, AS HER FATHER MADE HER FEEL HE COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT HER.

 

FINALLY, AT AGE 14, SHE TOLD HER DAD "I AM IN CONTROL NOW" AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU.

 

AFTER 5 YEARS THE COURTS FINALLY TOOK AWAY HIS PARENTAL RIGHTS.

 

AS AN ADULT, SHE HAS MADE THE DECISION NOT TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH THAT FAMILY.

I would like to say first hand that i have been through this personally. I am married to a man that has a son from a previous relationship and i have been with my husband since a little before my stepson was a year old. His mother has talked about us so much and has made him involved in adult issue that a child has no business being involved in. I would like to say for the step mother point of view no parent should involve their children in this type of situations. The children should love, enjoy and spend time with both parents and their should never be any negitive conversations with a child about the other parent. This in the long run does damage the child and their relationship with the parents. I do believe that this topic discussed today happens more than we know and their should be something that should not happen at all. We you agree to be parents wether together or not , you should always be parents and never say anything negitive about the other parent no matter what you really think of them.

Hi my name is Monica , and I have 2 childern with an x, and we are in a bad custody battle ,  We have joint cusody of both our kids and  we went back to court in june b/c I wanted to have my son with me more then just the weekend. An so what happen was we went back to court and I initally agreed to joint custody with every other week and weekend  I would have both of my kids and they will go to the same school. Well that was a very bad mistake , 1- The school that my kids go to is the same school that there fathers girlfriends kids go to so she is there all the time , and reports to there dad when it is my time with my kids what is going on what I drove , what my kids ware etc... Well there dad also has told the school that when it is his time not to inform me of what goes on with my kids there , whether its they got in trouble or got hurt anything , he feels that it is not my business , which I feel is not  how it works . Well last Friday I went to the school to pick my kids up and I was waiting for my son to leave his class room and when he comes out I advise him to come on so we can go home . He is screaming "I am not going with you , you have to catch me etc." , mean while the teacher's and parents are on looking not saying anything, but  to worried about what I am driving in . Instead of waiting 10 for my husband to come and pick them or at least the one child my daughter up , the school calls my job and assumes that I have y child in the car to get me in trouble .  .  So anyways I left my son at the school so his dad can pick him up , while I was waiting for my husband , my daughter tells me that my son has been telling his dad and girlfriend that he wants to shoot me 5 times to make sure that I die . Now where that came from is unknow ,  Now mind you I don't hit my kids , I may yell at times , take thing s away , I am guilty for not being consistent , since I have been I am this bad parnet and needs to be dead . When I tell there father about this is just said Monica it is only a bebe gun it is not going to hurt , I said what are you serious that is not the point , the point is that my 9 yr old has this in his head that he wants his mother dead , An since then I have not had my son nor talk to him , he just has this evil eye , and it hurts so bad I just want to scream ., but I have been calm and not push the issue with my son to come with me . Help is this not a case of my kids being brain wash by there dad  and the help of his girlfriend.

I wish I knew that you where going to air a show like this, I would have volunteered to be there to tell you that it is not only men that go through this, but women as well.
I have not been able to see my 11 year old daughter for 2 1/2 years. It has been 3 months since I have heard her voice. I think this has to be the most hurtful thing that you can do to your ex-spouse.
Watching this show today, I was in tears for the gentleman that has no contact with his son, I know first hand how it feels to be kicked out of your child's life. I honestly think that it hurts more when you are the mother, after all you create that person in your belly for 9 months and then delivered them in to this world.
My story is a litlle different though, I was a single mother living with her boyfriend. I had gone to work leaving my daughter with my boyfriend (who had 4 childern of his own) I was gone from the house for 30 minutes when I got a phone call from home telling me that my daughter was on the way to the emergency room. When I arrived at the hospital I was told my 3 year old little girl had 30 minutes to live, and that she needed to have emergency brain surgery. I was crushed and in a state of shock and to be honest I have blocked out alot of that day due to the emotional stress that I had gone through. After 5 hours of surgery the doctors came out and told me she would be in a coma for the next 72 hours. CPS was also with the doctors and they proceeded to inform me that I had no rights to my child, they blamed me for my daughters accident. I really didn't want my daughter to go into foster care so I made the biggest mistake of my life by signing over my parental rights to my ex-husband who was on his way from Texas. I believed the decisions that needed to be made for my daughters health where better left with her father than with total strangers. That is where my 8 year battle started. Within 3 days the law system found my boyfriend at the time guilty of attempted murder of my daughter and he is now serving 18 years in prision. My daughter was then taken to Cooks Childern's Hospital in Fort Worth. My ex husband had gone to the court system in Colorado and asked if she could be moved for better care and to be close to his family. The judge agreed and told me that if I wanted to get my daughter back in my custody then I needed to pack up and move to Texas. I did everything the judge told me to do. When I got to Texas, I was kept from my daughter, I had nurses tell me it was all my fault that my daughter was in the hospital. My ex changed hospital rooms on me with out telling me keeping me from my daughter. This was hell on earth for me. But I always fought to spend time with her. We then went to court in Texas, where I was told that I should have stayed in Colorado and I would have gotten my daughter back, but they gave my ex full custody of my daughter because he already had temporary custody. My daughter was never supposed to walk, talk or see again, but with lots of prays and love she is a miracle, she had 2 blood clots to the brain before her surgery and now the only thing that she has is a short term memory problem. I am so grateful that she survived. I have never cried so much. I thought God would never give me something that I could not handle and I knew in my heart that I would get through this. My ex had so much control and he used it and then some. I have been in and out of court fighting to see my daughter. She is now 11 and she tells me she hates me and that she never wants to see me. I will not tell a lie, it is the hardest thing to hear from your own daughter. My ex had told her that all her struggles in her life are because of me, he makes her do 2 to 3 hours of homework afterschool when her friends are out playing and he tells her its because of me. My ex told my daughter that I hurt her and that all her struggles in life are because of me. If I had hurt her I would have been put in jail. I was innocent, but everyday for the past 8 years I feel like I have done something wrong, that I didn't protect her enough, that I wasn't there to save her. It is something that I have to live with every day. My ex has brain washed my daughter and I feel like there is nothing that I can do. I have bought plane tickets to bring her to visit me and he has not put her on the plane, he will not answer the telephone, I haven't even seen a picture of her in 2 1/2 years. I have asked for the name of her doctor and school and he will not give them to me. He holds such a grudge on me. We have been to court 4 times over this and he has been told that he is not the only parent, but that does nothing. I feel that you should have had a women on the show to say that it happens both ways. I struggle daily. My daughter just had a birthday and I was unable to talk to her. And his excuse is that she doesn't want anything to do with me. I have a lawyer working on my case but it gets costly, I feel like he is trying to get me to back down by making me pay my lawyer. I am going to pay what ever it takes to get my daughter back in my life. I want her to know that I love her so much. And even after everything my ex had done I would never bad mouth him to her. I also have a 7 month old little girl that my daughter has never got to meet and I think that is really sad, in April my daughter was all excited to come and visit she even asked when she was coming to visit her new baby sister and then 2 weeks later she didn't want to come. I know my ex bad mouths me but the only person he is hurting is his daughter. If you have any other shows about divorce and brain washing of childern, I would love to come and tell my story so that I can let people know that men are not the only ones to go through this! I know that my story might help others so I am praying that I have a happy ending to help others get throught their rough patches in life. The light is always at the end of the tunnel!!

I am a 74 year old retired teacher and principal.  I have seen parents use their children to get even with each other.  In my opinion, this is child abuse.  I have held little children, (elementary and junior high school). in my arms as they cried and tried to do their school work after a day or weekend of visitation with parents who are fighting and involving their children.  It is so sad !  I myself was divorced and had 2 children whose father never visited or took them to visit him even though I told him that he could come to see them anytime night or day and he had visitation rights, but he chose not to see them.  I never wanted this to happen to my children, but I knew better than to put him down.  I told my children that I was sorry that Dad did not see them so he could see what great children they were.  I told them that Dad loved  them as much as he could love anyone and that I loved them very much also.  I also told them that I could not be their father, but I would be as good a Mother as I could.

They missed him and loved him  too.  I wish parents could see the what they are doing to their children in these situations.

Hi I am a divorced mother that does not have the children.  My ex-husband and I were married for 13 years at the time that he went behind my back and started telling the children that I was a rotten and horrible mother who did nothing for them and that he was going to divorce me.  I then learned on 12 feb 2004 by my oldest daughter who was just 13 at the time that her father was going to divorce me and my ex then had an issue that night and then called everyone into the living room and said I am not now or ever going to divorce your mother however a week later I found out by a statement from an attorney that on that exact day he said that he had put a $3000.00 retainer down to start the divorce.  He then continued to make the children think I was the enemy.  My children did a 180 degree turn in their behavior with me and then started becoming abusive and mean and tried to do everything they could to push me out of the family.  They were able to do it very well. 

 

My ex has told them everything about the court issues, and he would buy they whatever they wanted.  to the point where they thought that I was worthless and then they could not stand me or being around me.  I tried everything that I could to get over the fact that I was no longer going to be married and then I tried to counsel with someone and the children to bridge the gap with them, it would work for awhile however then my ex would sabotage it to bring it back to the rotten attitudes.  My children are not allowed to call me ever,  if they need to ask me something before they come on the weekend visit he will call me and then tell me they need to ask me a question.  When I call they never answer it goes to voice mail and I leave messages to have children call me back and they never do.  Now they all have cell phones and I had their numbers and would send them a text here and there telling only that I love you have a great week.  and then he changed their numbers and they are not allowed to give that new number to me at all.  When I have them on my weekends they hardly talk to me about anything important or about their lives.  They abuse me verbally but telling me to shut up or to f en shut up, who cares what you think etc.  why are you not paying child support etc.  and now I am having to pay them 2/3Rd's of my pay and am not able to pay for my own place or anything.  I am not able to buy them things however their father is able to buy them $210. cell phones every other 6 months. 

 

I love my children more than anything but I am not sure what to do at this point Dr. Phil, my children really don't want to be here right now and the abuse that I receive is getting so hard to preserver I am just not sure what to do.  I cry a great deal of the time because I miss my children so very much, my heart hurts over how much damage is being done to the children with the fact that they are being taught this type of behavior and to treat people with a disrespect.  My son is the spitten image of my ex at this time and I don't want to see him follow in my ex's footsteps if and when he finds a girl or women or at some point maybe even a wife and he treat her like this. 

 

Dr. Phil, please help me to understand what I should do in this situations  I don't want to see my children destroyed.  they are truly good children down deep.

Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it.

I divorced my son's father when he was 3.  My son is now 14.   Throughout the years my ex and his parents have tried so hard to alienate my son from me and my family, and have even resorted to threatening him by using his relationship with his father  and grandparents as leverage. For example, they told him if he did not choose to move in with his father when he turned 13 that things were going to change.  I have kept my mouth shut for years, cried in the bathroom out of sheer frustation, listened to my son ect.   Now at 14, my ex has once again gotten a new girlfriend and plans to move across the Us to be with this woman.  My son told his father how he felt about him leaving and his response to him was he was almost grown and his days of raising kids was over.  My son is hurt, and I am hurt because I really hoped that deep down inside my son meant more to him than that.  Anyway my point is, I have not had to say one bad thing about my ex.   He has done it all by himself.  I am just so sad my son , because no matter how tough he tries to seem, I know his heart is breaking inside.   

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I was so enlightened by Dr. Phil today ~  I will keep it short ~ My daugher went to live with her father in March and recently has not been returning  my calls nor interested in seeing me. The last time I saw her - she had me pick her up and return her to a friend's house - that was over 2 months ago. I still actually have legal custody and about a month ago - my ex moved to a new home and did not notify me of the address. My attorney contacted hisattorney and then I recieved an e-mail with the new address.

 

I am waiting to go to court because he wants custody,

 

I have decided to fight this - My ex is not a healthy person and although she is 14 -  I am giving the information of Parental Alienation to my attorney.

 

Thank You Dr.Phil for helping me to make some sence of all my pain these past several months.

 

Most Sincerley ~