Topic : 12/26 "Brainwashed by My Parents"

I was reading the other posts about this and thought I was in the twighlight zone.  Unfortunately the lawyer that was on the show was not very eloquent in her arguments and Dr. Phil bulldozed over her.  I think the semantics are very important and it is important to resist calling this a "syndrome".  There are sets of BEHAVIORS to explore on both sides of this issue and it is just as likely that the parent making the accusation of parental alienation is the one being retaliatory.  Calling it a syndrome will  dilute the issue and allow people and the courts to slap a label on an issue with a lot of gray area.  Remember years ago when ADHD awareness was raised and nearly every kid with a behavior problem or an excitable nature was diagnosed and put on Meds?  I think you risk the same type of scenario if you don't look at subtle, individual characteristics in each situation.  Now I am a therapist and believe in the importance of correct diagnosis but I think it is important not to rally on the latest bandwagon. 

The people on this post have an absolutely valid argument that there are sometimes real and tangible reasons for a child to choose loyalty to one parent over the other and it is even HEALTHY to do so.   I also think that we do a disservice to our children to gloss over the very destructive and yes abusive behaviors of some parents (on both sides of this issue and with attention to age appropriate discussions with the child).  Who would have this conversation with their child: "Mom/dad-I don't want to visit dad /mom.  He/she always puts me down and ignores my feelings."  "No honey, dad/mom really loves you and visiting him/her is what you should do."?  Talk about codependency and invalidating a child's sense of self worth!

Dr Phil and staff,

thank you so much to taking this subject seriously and taking the time to do a show on it!!  It is real and it is child abuse!  Please, please do more shows on this in the furture.  This is the way we make change

You are so right!  All situations need to be looked at objectively with open eyes and minds.  We have not only seen what jumping on the band wagon can do with ADHD, but also remember Austism was originally blamed on "bad mothers" in the early 1970's.  Many mothers lost custody of their children due to many upstanding professionals whom used their opinions surrounding their views, talk about a disservice to the children as well.  Let's not let this become an avalanche, how horrible that one seems to think that permanent removal of children from whom they believe is the alientating parent is the right choice.  With that kind of view, it is awfully scary thinking that if these people happen to be placed in another difficult situation, that they would use such "eye for an eye" type of retaliation. 

I saw the show about children being brain washed---> My ex moved in with a man who molested our son and I went to 2 different CPS's and 2 Friend of the courts and every State Police post (about 6 or so), every County Sherriff's Dept. and evry City Police dept. in 18 counties in the state of Michigan about her boyfriend molesting our son. They said ok  and I gave them his name registry on the sex offender list and his correct address and other info. No one did anything except his Parole Officer and he went back to prison for parole violation. he never got charged in molesting our son. My ex then cried to CPS that I molested our son and they wanted to put my behind in prison for 5+ years for what her boyfriend did and she didn't cry molestation one time and not even two times but three seperate times. I am all cleared of all charges. They said threw their actions (the authorities) that it is better for our son be molested, abused and have an unstable home (always moving) than be with a stable father. Then when she allows our son to be abused tell our son that I did it to him. So my next child (if I ever have any) and our son is abused, I'll go straight to the prosecuter and a lawer. Cops, Friends of the Court and CPS don't care for the child or the father but care for the mother. So CPS=Child Protection Service should be changed to their real name MPS=Mother Protection Service. So I am for Men like the one that kidnapped (for the childrens well fair) his children as I should have done years ago. I aploud him for his efforts.

First of all.. i think that lawyer that was on the show is full of S***.iam a divorced parent which my three kids are being alienated from me and i had so much evidence police reports notes etc... and the judges mediators overlooked everything i had to offer there was 88 charges of contempt and she got away with it. and i got nothing.We now have a custody order which she is violating and i have given up with the court system why bother going back which ALL WOMEN  HAVE RIGHT IN THIS STATE OF CALIFORNIA.not even a  lawyer was able to help me.now i got nothing..Thanks to the F****** system. what do i do DR PHIL.. do i have hope for fighting for my kids