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Topic : Teen Talk

Number of Replies: 291
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Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 12:10:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
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July 27, 2009, 2:26 pm CDT

Hope IS the FIRST step to Sucess

You guys, I have read a few of your blogs or messages, and I can so relate to you.  I'm 18 going on 19 this October, but about four years ago my life began spiraling out of control.  I have always been an honor student and really involved in school activities.  My parents were never together, but they did the best that they could raising me for most of my childhood.  However, when I needed my dad the most, he ignored me.  During junior high, I lost my virginity, 13 can you believe it?  I then began smoking marijuana frequently,drinking alcohol, and focusing less on school.  My sexual encounters became numerous and more risky. I couldn't keep a boyfriend. The relationship between my mom and I became strained.  I became an outcast in my own home, which in turn made me smoke and drink more.  Within two years, I lost two of my best friends, one to drugs and the other in a car accident.  My life was spiraling more and more out of control, and then I got a wake up call.  If I continued to ruin my life, my friends' deaths would be in vain.  Things didn't completely change over night.  During my senior year, I had an abortion without the knowledge of my family. No things didn't change completely, but I slowly made progress.

 

I post this because no matter how bad things may seem, it can always get better.  You have a choice.  You have the choice to accept your situation as well as the choice to choose your fate.  We are all here for a purpose.  We cannot control the situation or lifestyle that we are born into, but we can control whether or not we fulfill our purposes here.  I believe that I have found mine.  My purpose is to use the drama in my life to inspire those in similar situations.  For an update, I graduated in the top five of my class.  I was awarded a full scholarship to Xavier University, and I am currently committed to my boyfriend of two years.  I am in the process of starting a club that helps teens through their struggles.  I know that I made it through it, and so can you.  I'll update the info once the particulars are arranged.  I hope that you make it through whatever it is that hurting you.  Remember, God will never give you more than you can bear.  Good luck!

 
July 27, 2009, 2:49 pm CDT

Teen Talk

I just turned 17 on July 22 and I have been involved with the wrong crowd for quite some time.I recently made the decision to brake myself from them.One of my homegirls was murdered in Febuary and when I went to the funeral none of "the homies" wanted to talk to me.I didn't care because I was there to pay my respects. I don't really have a relationship with my parents. My mom has been there for me and my older brother but my dad hasn't. We always wonder why and we came to the conclusion that he doesn't care about us. I have wrote him letters and even found him on myspace. In the most recent letter I wrote him I told him about the abusive relationship I had been in last year. I was also pregnant and miscarried @ about 3 months. It was the worst thing to have to go through @ the age of 16. I couldn't believe that when I told my father in the letter and also on myspace he said nothing to me. It hurts when you try and your parent could careless about you. I try to get him to want to be in my life but its an endless never ending battle.
 
July 27, 2009, 3:38 pm CDT

Anger/Depression

I'm 19 years old and I have anger issues. Today at work I was told to make a video in Flash for my County's dog pound. So I decided to get a few ideas as to what I could do for my video. I went to YouTube.

Instead of finding a "Please adopt a dog" video, I found cruelty. Dogs that were being beaten, abused and being fought.

These dogs had faces that were half missing, maggots, blood. The Chinese were the ones doing this. Some of the Chinese that owned dogs, were having their dogs taken away for food. There were like 15 dogs shoved in one little crate. They were being burned and beaten for food. A delicacy?

And the some of the people on Youtube just said, "So? We eat cows, pigs, chickens, etc."

Well...Man domesticated the wild dog to be a companion, guardian, etc. Not food.

I am so mad about this...and it depresses me so much. I want to do something about this but I can't. Dogs are the one thing that I truly love in life. One of the only things that really makes me happy anymore, and I can't stand to see them be beaten. They looked so scared as the Chinese dragged them away to their death. I can't stop crying about this, and I wish everyone felt the same way about dogs that I do. D:
 
July 27, 2009, 3:41 pm CDT

Teen Talk

Quote From: ashleyberlynn

Ok so I'm 16, and my bf is 19, and he always talks to my Mom and they never tell me what they're talking about, she always takes his side, and they just plan everything without me even knowing about it ; they really think nothing is wrong with it , but it makes me feel like they have some secret relationship or something, and they really don't think anything is wrong with it.
Do they hang out without you or something? D:

It sounds like they are having a relationship...And that is wrong. They should not do that to you.
 
July 27, 2009, 4:39 pm CDT

Teen Talk

Quote From: virago

Do they hang out without you or something? D:

It sounds like they are having a relationship...And that is wrong. They should not do that to you.
No no no lol nothing like that, it's just like they don't take what I say seriously and they are just always together on anything, i mean is it wrong to want my Mom or my bf to just be on my side when we fight for once.
 
July 27, 2009, 6:40 pm CDT

uuuuhhhh????

Quote From: hgf12345

hi.. im 16 years old, i live in israel. my proplem is that  i have a huge crush on my teacher, & i think it's love) even though i have a boyfriend . anyway, he teaches math & im realy suck at math - not just at math actually- but i try so hard to impress him. i dont think he knows, cause i sleep alot at his class, but that because he's boring not because i dont care about him. i dont know how to deal with this. i cant stand my boyfriend or any of the guys in my school, they look like babys to me, i think i like older guys. but its still a proplem because im just in 10th grade.

 

 

Hey.
Girl,
wow,
 would so stay away from that!
That is a total nono!
find someone your own age,
or just be singl,
its not that bad to just stay away from guys!
That means your teacher to!
Just keep it a crush,
or you will jepridize his teaching career,
which is not worth it!
 
July 27, 2009, 6:48 pm CDT

Teen Talk

Quote From: lvbaby

Hey everyone,

I watched the show today about schools taking discipline to far. The segment about Jeremiah hit me. I have been so close to doing what he did. I was always teased from kindergarden through my Junior year of high school. I have been overweight since I was probably 4 years old. It got so bad that in elementary school I learned how to fake sick so well they always let me go home. The teachers confronted me about it and I told them what was going on they held a "Bully- Victim" meeting to try and solve the issue. That solved the problem with the one main person but caused problems with so many other kids. In 3rd grade my best friend decided I wasn't pretty or cool enough to hang out with her and she told all of my other friends not to talk to me also. They listened. It only got worse through middle school when boys dared each other to ask me out as a joke. I would smile through the day play cool and go home and cry until I couldn't any more. I lived with it through out middle school and then came freshman year. This is where I really hit my breaking point. The boys in my class would jump against the walls when I walked by so they wouldn't touch me. They would shove each other into me to be mean to each other. This plus other high school stress caused me to start "snapping" which is just snapping a rubber band on my wrist till it was bruised and swollen. The bullying got worse and I escalated into cutting my thigh so I could hide it. Then I just got addicted to the feeling so I moved to my upper arm then finally to my wrist. I have scarres all over my arm. I used to hide them but it became to much of a hastle. Now people see them and look at me with pity and kinda like well dissapprovingly. The bullying continues and I won't let anyone know. I'm sick of telling people whats wrong and them thinking they can fix it when it turns into a disaster. Project 51 would have saved me so much trouble if I could talk to someone with out them trying to fix things with these other kids.

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE VERY PRETTY!!!!!!
DONT LISTEN TO WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!!!!!!!
IF I KNEW YOU BACK THEN, I WOULD OF TAKEN UP FOR YOU!!!!
AND WOULD OF BEEN YOUR FRIEND
 
July 28, 2009, 6:02 am CDT

Bullying

I left secondary school (the irish equvilant of high school) just over a year ago and I found that (in my school atleast) that staff at the school reacted differently to bullying depending on who informed them of it or what type of bullying was going on..

We were given regular classes about bullying at my school and we were always told if we were being bullied to speak up..

In my first year (when I was 12), I was bullied. I was never phyiscally but I was constantly teased by atleast 30 people in my school year (there were only 50 people in my year in total). At first, I dealt with it all myself, but one day, in class the insults got to much for me and I ran out of the class room and was headed towards the restrooms in tears..

The principil stopped me on the way to ask me what I was doing out of class, when I spilled everything. The principil basically told me to get over it and sent me back to class.. I never told anyone else I was being bullied, until 3 years later when I became very depressed and considered taking my own life.. 

Another girl in my class realised I was having a hard time and told a member of staff at my school that I was being bullied and I was then given the help I needed.

As my class got older and people matured less and less people teased me, and a few people indivdually came up to me and personally apologised  for teasing me.

 

One day in school during my final year (6th year), I was in the toliets when a boy from 1st year was pushed into the bathroom, followed by 2 girls from 4th year. The boy had a cast on his arm (i'm guessing it was broken) and one of the girls hit him full force across his broken arm. I was a little shocked because I had never seen physical bullying in my school before, so it took me awhile to react, and by the time I had, the little boy had pushed passed the girls and had made a run for it. I followed them out, but the boy was gone and the two girls wandered off in another direction.

 

This had happened after school hours on a friday and the only staff member I could find (besides the cleaners) was my principil. I didn't particarly think she was the best person to tell after her reaction to me being bullied but I didn't want to wait until the monday to say anything so I went to her office and told her everything.

 

Luckily, she listened to me and got everything sorted immediatly.

 

I figure I was orignally ignored for 1 or 2 reasons:

-I hated being in class and as a child, I was a bit of a compulsive liar (which is the main reason I was bullied in the first place) and my principil knew this so she may have figured I was lying/using this as an excuse to get out of class. If someone else had told my principil then that I was being bullied, she may have dealt with the matter than.

-Most people don't think verbal abuse is as bad as phyiscal abuse and therefore may not have considered it worth there time to deal with.

 

 

I just want to say, if you see anyone being bullied TELL SOMEONE.. if anyone out there is being bullied, TELL SOMEONE.. If they don't listen, TELL SOMEONE ELSE.. I understand that you may think that the bullying will become worse once you tell someone you're being bullied or if they're bullying someone else, they may turn on you for telling someone.. THIS IS NOT TRUE!!.. As long as you've told a responable adult, they will deal with it..

If you don't want to tell a teacher or parent face to face, write a note and leave it where they will see it or email them.. It'll make it alot easier.. If you don't want to talk about it straight away, say so in your note/email that you're not ready to talk just yet and tell them you'll need a few hours/days before you can talk to them face to face..

Please don't wait for it to sort itself out like when I was being bullied, as that may not happen with you. Do something before it's too late

 

 

Aisling

 
July 28, 2009, 7:40 am CDT

I Can Relate

Quote From: munchii3z

I just turned 17 on July 22 and I have been involved with the wrong crowd for quite some time.I recently made the decision to brake myself from them.One of my homegirls was murdered in Febuary and when I went to the funeral none of "the homies" wanted to talk to me.I didn't care because I was there to pay my respects. I don't really have a relationship with my parents. My mom has been there for me and my older brother but my dad hasn't. We always wonder why and we came to the conclusion that he doesn't care about us. I have wrote him letters and even found him on myspace. In the most recent letter I wrote him I told him about the abusive relationship I had been in last year. I was also pregnant and miscarried @ about 3 months. It was the worst thing to have to go through @ the age of 16. I couldn't believe that when I told my father in the letter and also on myspace he said nothing to me. It hurts when you try and your parent could careless about you. I try to get him to want to be in my life but its an endless never ending battle.
I can so relate to you...The absence of a father...Sex and pregnancy at a young age...Let me tell you it hurts and then the pain get worse, and then it is completely unbearable and that is when you have to hold on the most.  Most people can say that they feel for you, but I empathize with you on an unbelievable level...I tried my hardest for my dad's attention, but his way of showing affection was with money every now and then...It got to the point where I disowned him and we physically fought frequently...Some nights I cried so much...I literally had to hold myself up into one piece...I had to have an abortion or I felt that I had to have an abortion...I sat there shaking on the operating table...I was selfishly taking away a life...That's when it the pain was the most unbearable...But through all that pain I found myself...That's what you have to do...Find yourself...No one can make your father be "daddy" unless he wants to...Forgive him...That's what I did...There is so much power in forgivenesss...It is not our job to judge while we are on earth...Just forgive him and I assure you that you'll get your power back...I hope things work out
 
July 28, 2009, 2:44 pm CDT

It makes me so angry

This is about me and my mom. Today we had another fight about useless stuff, and she is always going back to the same things. She blames me for the fights she has with my stepdad, and anyday i have a bad day she blames it on pms, and that really makes me angry. Then the minute i say something that is true about her and that makes her feel like an idiot, she names off another flaw i have and always make me feel like garbage when she does this. I reently just started a new job, and its just frusturating to have to deal with my anger towards her and then go to work. I don't know what to do about these fights we are having, and i'm really sick and tired of feeling like garbage when she starts making comments about the stuff i do wrong just to make her feel better about the person she is, and just to make it seem like i'm a bad daughter. I'm 15, and frusturated at my situation. I thought maybe some advice fom Dr. Phil might help me.
 
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