Message Boards

Topic : Teen Talk

Number of Replies: 291
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 12:10:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Please join us on the new Teen Talk message boards: Click Here

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 18, 2008, 1:12 pm CST

...

hi dr phil.

my name is Mariana i really like your show

i live in Portugal and i'm 15

I just started 10th grade and i'm feeling stressed out, my grades suck, i'm fat and ugly and i'm feeling like crap and most of the days i feel like crawling into a hole and not leaving it...

on top of that all my friends have boyfriend and girlfriends and I don't...

I know there are more serious problems but not comparing my life sucks...

 
November 18, 2008, 7:06 pm CST

Teen Talk

Quote From: coastalkid

Hey I have a question,

    My name is David and I am currently dating this wonderfully amazing girl, her name is Hannah. I have great respect and I care about her a lot. The one big delima I face is that she is 15, I am 19. Is it wrong of me to be dating her?

That's great that you found an amazing girl to be with.

 

I'm not sure about the US as a whole, but in the state of California anyways it is illegal for anyone 18 and over to even kiss a minor. Other than that I do not think there is anything wrong for you to be dating her. I wish you luck.

 
November 19, 2008, 8:44 am CST

Teen Talk

Hi everyone. I just wanted to share my current thoughts and emtions. Lately, I've been very stressed about what I'm going to do with my life once I graduate from highschool this year. I feel terrified about the fact that I haven't decided yet what I want to study nor where I want to go for college. Another thing is that even if I decide what I want study, I won't have my mom's support because her dream is for me to be dentist or a pharmacist or something that has to do with medicine. I keep on telling her that I would suffer studying medicine because science (chemistry, biology, and especially physics) is my weakest area. I always struggle with them and I honestly don't think I'd be able to do any better in college. My parents think that I just say that because my self-esteem is very low and I constantly doubt my abilities. It's true up to an extent because my self-esteem is very low. I'm aware of that. This might not seem like an issue in comparison to others that I have read, but I just feel completely terrified because I feel like I'm stuck.

 
November 21, 2008, 7:46 am CST

mom who loves her daughter

I am hoping some of you young people can help me with this situation, if you can call it that.  I live in Canada in a small town in Alberta.  My daughter just turned 14 and she's a very sweet, loving, caring and intelligent person.  The problem is that she doesn't really have a lot of friends.  What I mean is, the girls she has grown up with here treat her like they don't care about her.  They ignore her most of the time and none of them will come to her birthday get-togethers.  They seem to be really spiteful and they like to play head games, like talking about her behind her back and not hanging around with her like they used to.  I suspect she feels very alone and hurt, and she needs some nice people to chum around with but she can't seem to find any.  This town is very clicky and friendships have already been established for years between other girls who seem to still be friends.  I would love for her to be able to call someone to hang out with on the weekends and do whatever, but she has trouble finding someone to do that with her.  She's not a mean girl and she's actually quite shy sometimes, but she's a good friend to people who get close to her.  Does anyone have any advice for me to pass on to her or can you tell me how I can help her?  I don't want to interfere too much and make her feel even more self conscious about this issue, but as a mother, it really hurts me to see her sad.  Please help me, I would like to hear from anyone.  Thanks people!

 
November 21, 2008, 7:54 am CST

from a person who was there

Quote From: lovesushi

Please keep trying to get someone to listen to you about how depressed you feel ok. Tell your mum, your favourite teacher or someone you trust. I'm sorry you feel so bad and I be thinking of you ok.
Hi, I just read your posting cause I am a mom who is going thru some rough stuff with my own child, who just turned 14 three days ago.  I have suffered from depression since I was about your age and now my own daughter is at risk and seems to be starting the symptoms too.  I wanted you to know that if you need someone who will not judge you and who can see things from your point and the older perspective as well, I can be there for you.  I do understand feeling absolutely low and like there's only one solution.  But if you can weather that storm, I want you to know it will get better.  It will.  There are some options for you to help yourself without harming yourself, and I would love for you to contact me if you need someone to chat with.  Why don't you reply to this and we can chat online or just keep in touch here.  My own child has troubles too and you might be able to help her or maybe she could help you.  Please think about it.  Hang in there kiddo!
 
November 21, 2008, 7:59 am CST

Teen Talk

Quote From: lovesushi

Hey sweetie. My heart goes out to you. You are doing a lot of good stuff for yourself like joining clubs etc. and your mum and family sound great. There seems to be one thing missing, the confidence to take the next step to asking to hang with the girls at school. I've found doing things I REALLY LOVE has helped my confidence. And remember that you're already best mates with the best chick around... yourself! Hang in there, things always change.
I had to reply to this because I just posted a message about my daughter who is going thru much of the similar things.  I'm sure she would love to chat with you online if you would like to reply to this.  Perhaps read my posting about her and you can find some common ground.  She is only 14, but she's very mature and caring and she loves to make new friends and chat online.  Please think about it!  It would be wonderful for both of you, I'm sure.  We live in Alberta, Canada.  You sound like a great person and people like you are hard to find these days!  I know we're probably far away from you, but everybody needs friends, right?  I hope we'll hear from you!
 
November 23, 2008, 7:55 am CST

Young and in love

Quote From: eric6508

Hey everyone my name is Eric and I'm 17 years old, and here's my story...

Ok me and this girl name Theresa are in love with each other, were both right for each other, we both make each other laugh, we both make each other feel good about them self, were just so right for each other...But there a catch to this perfect love, her mom don't want us together. I can understand why her mom don't want us together, because Theresa is only 13 years old. But the thing I want to know, dose age mean anything? To me. and her age is just a number. Me and her look at it, were both in love, we both are right for each other, so can we just be togehter in peace? With out everyone bugging us about ae age and stuff. If anyone can help me out here, that would be great....

Thanks...
Eric,
I know exactly how you are feeling. My fiance and I are 6 years apart. We met when I was fifteen. He is my cousin's best friend and he was coming home on leave from the Marines. It was his first trip home after his first deployment. We exchanged numbers, not thinking anything of it. We became friends, then best friends. Then there was a point when I knew I was in  love with him. The problem was, I was underage to the military. In our home state, 17 was the legal consent age. But since he was in the military, I had to be 18. It was tough. He got redeployed January 19, 2008. Before he left, he admitted he felt the same way about me that I felt about him. He didn't want something happening to him over there and I not know how he felt. We made a decision that we would wait for each other. We decided that we believed in our love so much that we could wait until it was completely legal. Yes it would be tough, but what better test of your love? We waited and when I turned 18, he watched me graduate and we have been together ever since. I couldn't be happier. We live together and are getting married. But I know how people look at the age thing as being something bad. I think it is just a number, but you might want to try waiting for each other. You could wind up in jail with the label of sex offender for the rest of your life. I don't doubt that you would go through that for her, but maybe you should really think about it first. You can still be friends. Just wait for her age to be the legal consent age of your state to take it farther than that. How guilty do you think she would feel if you ruined your life over her? How hard would she treat herself? Imagine herself mentally attacking herself over it everyday. This is just some food for thought. Your decision is your own. I hope everything works out.

Sincerly,
Dorothi
 
November 23, 2008, 8:00 am CST

Tough stuff

Quote From: sali_zaki

Hi everyone. I just wanted to share my current thoughts and emtions. Lately, I've been very stressed about what I'm going to do with my life once I graduate from highschool this year. I feel terrified about the fact that I haven't decided yet what I want to study nor where I want to go for college. Another thing is that even if I decide what I want study, I won't have my mom's support because her dream is for me to be dentist or a pharmacist or something that has to do with medicine. I keep on telling her that I would suffer studying medicine because science (chemistry, biology, and especially physics) is my weakest area. I always struggle with them and I honestly don't think I'd be able to do any better in college. My parents think that I just say that because my self-esteem is very low and I constantly doubt my abilities. It's true up to an extent because my self-esteem is very low. I'm aware of that. This might not seem like an issue in comparison to others that I have read, but I just feel completely terrified because I feel like I'm stuck.

I just started college this year, and its not going so hot for me. It is way harder than highschool. If you struggle in those subjects in highschool, god bless you in college. It can be done, dont get me wrong. Its just way harder in college. What you really need to do is look into yourself and ask, "Would doing that for the rest of my life make me happy?". If no, dont make yourself suffer just to make your mom happy. Do what will make you happy. And dont worry about picking a major too much. I have changed my major three times and its only my first semester! You will take classes that once you ar ein them you realize one of two things: this is not right for me or this is exactly what I am looking for. It happens all the time. I wouldnt stress over it too much. Just do what makes you happy.
 
November 27, 2008, 5:53 am CST

I don't know where I stand..

3 years ago when I was 13 years old, I used to play karate at a club right next to my house. One day the coach touched me inappropriately and when I went back home I felt so guilty I was convinced it was my fault and that i led him on in some way.. I couldn't sleep that night. I kept telling myself that I should tell my parents but I knew I couldn't do it, because I thought at the time that she'd say it was my fault and I'm the one to blame... (although I realize now that it wasnt my fault, I still feel unable to tell my mom what had happened)

So I just dealt with it, I never told anyone (in fact, this is the first time i ever discuss this particular event).

I comtinued playing karate at that club but surprisingly nothing happened again. Before that happened, I was an A student, but since the incident my academic marks started declining gradually making me a B- student now.. That was never acceptable for me and it still isn't, it puts me down and makes me feel stupid although I know i'm very capable. I just realized how it had affected me. Somehow I blocked what happened on that day out of my mind but it continued to haunt me without me knowing. I just realized it now because I'm going to university next year and i have great ambitions, I plan to study medicine. But I'm scared that I won't be able to because of what happened..

Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I wasn't raped, I was just touched inappropriately..is it the same thing??

 
November 27, 2008, 5:18 pm CST

Teen Talk

Quote From: rachelebc4392

3 years ago when I was 13 years old, I used to play karate at a club right next to my house. One day the coach touched me inappropriately and when I went back home I felt so guilty I was convinced it was my fault and that i led him on in some way.. I couldn't sleep that night. I kept telling myself that I should tell my parents but I knew I couldn't do it, because I thought at the time that she'd say it was my fault and I'm the one to blame... (although I realize now that it wasnt my fault, I still feel unable to tell my mom what had happened)

So I just dealt with it, I never told anyone (in fact, this is the first time i ever discuss this particular event).

I comtinued playing karate at that club but surprisingly nothing happened again. Before that happened, I was an A student, but since the incident my academic marks started declining gradually making me a B- student now.. That was never acceptable for me and it still isn't, it puts me down and makes me feel stupid although I know i'm very capable. I just realized how it had affected me. Somehow I blocked what happened on that day out of my mind but it continued to haunt me without me knowing. I just realized it now because I'm going to university next year and i have great ambitions, I plan to study medicine. But I'm scared that I won't be able to because of what happened..

Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I wasn't raped, I was just touched inappropriately..is it the same thing??

You're right to feel very upset about what happened.
But at some point you have to get over it. I know that's not easy and not thinking about it, will only make it worse.
You have to confront yourself with it, and a first step is to really be convinced that this is not your fault.
Maybe you should play karate at an other club. I'm sure that would help.
And you'll be suprised how good it feels when you tell other people ( for example: your mom or a docter)
it's easier to tell it here, because you don't know the people here and we don't know who you are. But telling your mom or dad will be good.
They could help you get over it, and if it continues to influence your life like this, you could consider consulting a docter.
 
First | Prev | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Next | Last