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Topic : Teen Talk

Number of Replies: 291
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Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 12:10:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
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October 20, 2008, 3:37 pm CDT

Teen Talk

Quote From: batoul

m 18 ... ive never felt that .. ive never felt like having a teen spirit, the story started when i continued high school in a puplic school and their all what girls worry about is ''sex '' and getting married ! ive never had the chance to express my self free. all what ive done was trying to adapt to my friends .. ive never show what it is really behind me .. now n college it is the same over here ... nd what make it harder for me is having no guys in college too because of my major .. anyway ... the main problem i have is the feeling of lonliness and not having the chance to express myself ..what about sex ? it is really that wrong not to have sex at my age ? what should i do ?

If you're 18 years old, and don't feel ready to have sex, then don't. There's nothing wrong with being an 18-year-old virgin. Don't let people tell you that there's something wrong with you because of that.
 
October 20, 2008, 6:00 pm CDT

Teen Talk

Quote From: dramaqueen143

See, I really cannot stand when people try to act all innocent. Yeah right, I'm sure you have let out a swear or two. what are ya?? Jesus?
I was saying every other word. I don't care if people swear, just when they use it way to much.
 
October 20, 2008, 9:46 pm CDT

On Innocence and Swearing

I swear a lot. Everybody says I sound like a sailor on shore leave. If I get a polite request to tone it down, I usually will, and I don't swear in front of most adults or in church. You may also notice a lack of swearing here- just on the off chance a middle-aged woman is reading, I'll restrain myself. This isn't out of any kind of automatic deference to people older than me- it's just that adults have ways of making teenagers miserable, even over the Internet.
I definitely don't act "innocent" around most people, even when I'm not swearing. I'm not irresponsible, but I'm not by any means perfect- I've had drinks at parties, I had a "bad boy" for a boyfriend my parents don't know about, and I suck at timing my left turns and lane changes (although I never speed). I certainly don't go about parading these facts to people, but I'm not about to put on the little lace collar and tie my hair up in a pink bow just to fit into some preconceived notion of what a "good girl" is. The "good girls" and "good boys" are the ones passing out on the living room carpet, puking all over the floor because they smoked a bowl of weed and sucked down half a beer keg. I'll pass, thanks.
 
October 21, 2008, 1:54 pm CDT

please read.

Hi Dr. Phil,

I graduated high school in June of 2008 and moved four hours away from home to go to school in central Texas. After two weeks of school, I withdrew because I had to take out a lot of loans to go there, and I did not want to be in debt. Also I didn't really like the school. Now I am living with my boyfriend just for the time being, until I find a school to go to in January. I am looking for several schools in Texas, but I am having a hard time deciding where to go because of my parents.
My mom is very dependent on me, and relies on me to help her around the house. She is my best friend and we used talk about everything.. Now that I am gone she tells me that she is depressed and has no one to talk to. Both of my parents call me everyday asking me to come home. They want me to go home, work, and go to a local community college. They try to make me feel guilty, and make me feel like I am doing something wrong. They have my two younger brothers write me letters asking me to come home, just because they know that that will make me cry.
I know that they just want the best for me, but it seems like they are putting their interests ahead of mine. I used to be very clingy to them, and I couldn't do anything without them. I feel like if I do go back home, that I will once again be too dependent, and will never want to leave.
I am looking for schools all over Texas, but I just can't decide what to do. I feel like whatever I choose, someone will be hurt. If I choose to go home, I will be far away from my boyfriend of two years. If I stay here, I will be hurting my family and my brothers. I am looking at a school in South Texas, and it is six hours away from home. I have done my research and really think this is the school for me. However, I am afraid to tell my parents because I don't want to hurt them and make them sad. What if I go off to school and something was to happen to myself, or my family? I don't think that I could ever forgive myself if it did. These are the worries that are keeping me from doing what I really want in life. I just dont' know what to do...
I really hope that you will read and respond to this. I really need help making these tough decisions..
I don't think that I can do it alone.

Thank you for reading,

TW

 
October 23, 2008, 12:57 pm CDT

help

Dr. Phil or to Dr. Phil's staff,

 

I need advice on what to do im worried about my boyfriend he keeps saying stuff about dieing and it hurts to hear him say stuff like that we have been dating for almost four years. Hes never said anything like this before and now he just says it like its no big deal. He is talking to a conslor but i dont know what to say to him when he says stuff to me about it please offer me some advice that would greatly help.

 

 

                                                                            thanks

 
October 23, 2008, 3:09 pm CDT

Help!

Dear Dr. Phil,

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now, but he's off to college while I'm still in high school. I feel like he never has time for me anymore, especially since he joined a fraternity. It seems as if it consumes all of his time. I want him to be happy, but I also have to be happy myself. I only get to see him every two or three weeks, and it's incredibly hard. I've been thinking of breaking up with him for a few weeks, but I'm not sure if it's a good reason to. I still love him and I don't want to give up, but I just wanted to see what you think of my problem.

Thanks,
Robyn
 
October 25, 2008, 10:08 am CDT

Feeling left out...

My family always says that i get everything i want but i dont feel that way. I have a sister that is 8 years old and is gonna be 9 in November. It seems like all of my family members get her everything and i feel like im not even part of the family. I feel like i dont fit in. It seems like when i do speak i get in trouble for what i say and it seems like everything i say im giving my parents an "attitude." But when i dont speak i feel the same way as i do when i do speak. This may seem all confusing for some of you but its the way i feel. The last time my parents actaully talked to me about how i feel was when we first moved here to Bismarck, ND because we used to live in New Salem and that is a small town then moving to a big city it was kinda scary. My mom was al like " so how are you feeling" and all that but now its like when thye ask i tell them and they say something about how i feel and start to argue wiht me and its like it MY opinion not yours and all. But i cant really do anythign i have to call or it seems like i have to call every second of my life to tell them where im at. I am just so confuzed right now. I dont know what to do some days i feel all happy and others i would rather die than be alive. But i have no plans to kill myslef its just how i feel.

 
October 29, 2008, 1:46 pm CDT

Read and learn a little maybee(:

please read and respond(:

 

My name is Alexandra, i'm 15 years old and from Denmark.

I'm very popular in my social circle. Almost all my friends drink,

smook, take drugs and have sex -so it's difficult not to. Thouh i'm

not smooking, not having sex and most importent at all not taking

drugs -i am going to party's every weekend and mostly drinks. It sounds

fun and you know, a good way to meet new people -and it is, it's just not

the right way. You may not reamember who you met anyways, cause you

where to drunk. It's just not always fun to be popular, theres a huge pressure.

You always have to be perfect -even though no body is. I almost lost my mom

dad's trust because of it -because i wasn't  home at much as i should be. My

pointe is, i'm popular; yes! But i'm not happy. it dosn't makes me happy to drink

but to be together with my familly and real friends. To be popular is not importent,

it's your real friends there really matters.

 

Best wishes

Alexandra.

 
October 30, 2008, 11:22 pm CDT

guilt and depression surrounds me... will you please help?

I'm 15-years-old and I have been through so much. I grew up with a father that didn't care and didn't really love me... as far as I could tell. He was never involved in my life, the only time I thought he had any thing to do with me was on birthdays and christmas when he would buy me expensive gifts.

We didn't move too much but enough for me to feel unstable. I grew up in San Diego for most of my life. From age 1-4 I lived in San Diego, my family and I then moved to Las Vegas till I was about 7, we then moved back to San Diego until I was 12 and have lived in Phoenix since then.

Moving never really helped me with exceptance, especially with the way my father treated me. I knew when mom said, "You just wait till your father gets home," that was not a good sign. But thats about all I knew him as.

In 6th grade I was desprate for a father that would love, care and except me as I am. I knew that wasn't going to come from my biological father, therefore I tried finding it in church. I meet a leader that helped me through life that year, he was like a father figure to me, then we moved.

After the moved he stopped talking to me, I lost all trust in people, I felt that if my own father would betray me and so would another guy then any one would.

Most of my 7th grade year was depressing. I went to school, but dispised it, I went to church, but felt I couldn't connect, I went home, but that was all stress. I meet my youth pastor and started talking to him but I didn't want to get to close because I didn't want to get hurt again. Eventually I gave in, I started talking to my youth pastor about all my feelings and he helped me. I got really close to him and his wife in 7th grade and the first part of 8th grade. Then my friend from San Diego commited suicide. She meant the world to me and it hurt so much that she was gone. I had been talking to her for months to get off of drugs and eventually she over dosed. Her mom was very scarred, her husband commited suicide about 2 year prior to her daughters death. She called me one saturday and shot herself while on the phone with me... My life hasn't been the same since.

My youth pastor and his wife tried to help, they tried to comfort me, but nothing was working. My dad got a wake up call by this and tried to step in, but i resented him so much i pushed him away. I didn't want to deal with every thing all at once.

I started trying smoking, it never really did any thing but calm my nerves so I didn't continue. I tried drinking and stuck with that for a while, but it got redundant and I didn't feel it was helping. I tried drugs and they just made me feel worse.  Finally I tried cutting, it gave me a sense of relief, it made the pain temporarly go away. I did that until the one close friend I had found out and told my youth pastor, who until this point I tried to avoid as much as possible. He talked to my parents and me, suggested counseling, but I refused. I tried from that point on to pretend like I was okay, I was always fairly well at acting so it didn't take too much effort to hide my feelings. At some point after this I started cutting again, but I got scarred I was going to get caught again so I stopped.

About a year of this went on till I finally just gave up, I stopped trying things and just pushed every one away. At the same time though, my dad got a hold of his life in that past year and wanted to be my father. I hated him already and didn't want to have any thing to do with him. He tried, pushed and pried but I wouldn't let him in. I then turned to my youth pastor again and he helped, it was nice to just talk for once to some one who understood me. But eventually my dad made me stop talking to him which killed me. Once I finally trusted my youth pastor completely my dad screwed it up.

Nearing the end of this year, freshman year, I meet a guy. He was sweet and caring, and for once intrested in me and not a friend. I had always had low self-esteem but this was when it really came through. I started to back away because I was scarred, I thought I was fat and unworthy of such an amazing guy in my eyes. But he pursued me, this made me feel wanted and I liked that, it made me feel good, kind of numb to the pain that was still there.

We got really close, and he found out that I hadn't had my first kiss yet and made it a point to be my first kiss... but that turned into my first every thing. We started slow and then he asked me out, every thing was so fast after that. We broke up not too much later but we were still into each other a little, but not really talking. Freshman year ended and I thought I was done with him, but little did I know what would soon be coming for me.

About a week after summer he called me, we started hanging out again, he told me I was beautiful and I missed hearing that. We started back where we left off and unofficially dated over the summer. We had sex and then he "officially" asked me out.

I started to get scarred but I didn't want him to know that so I just kept going with it for a while. Then I just couldnt handle it and I snapped, so he broke up with me. My self-esteem to a another fall. I felt disgusting, like I had no self worth, I wanted to die. So I told my mom, who has been my best friend and pretty much rasied me up until the last year. I felt better but she didn't really know what to do.

My dad ended up finding out I had sex and that I drank and smoked and all hell broke loose. I was grounded and wasn't aloud to talk to the guy I had sex with any more ( even though we were still "friends", but just friends.)

My life has spiraled and I feel so out of control. I dispise my father, my mom doesn't understand, I ruined the relationship with my youth pastor and his wife, I can't let go of my friend and her mom, I have no self worth and  I feel hopeless and most of the time feel like dying.....

 

Dr. Phil, please help me. I don't know where else to turn and I'm only 15. I just want to live a life without the pain, guilt and disgust. Will you help me?

 
October 31, 2008, 1:32 pm CDT

stuck in a bubble

I'm a 16 year old girl who is stuck in a bubble and has no way out. I have been nurtured to be who my parents want me to be instead of growing up to be who I want to be. Because of how I was raised I do not have a close relationship with my parents. In fact, I have, what I call, a second mom who is the person I go to when I need to talk about what is going on in my life that is bothering me.

I hold a big secrets everyday because I am unable to burst out of my bubble. The hardest one to hold is the truth about who my dad really is. I feel as if I have to lie to everyone who asks about him. I feel as if I have to tell them that he is the best dad there ever was when reality is he is not so great and I have no respect for him. The second hardest secret to keep is who I really am inside. People see me as this quiet, musical, sporty girl, but that is what my parents want me to be. Inside I am someone who is outgoing and fun to be around, but I can't let that me out because I have parents molding me to be who they want me to be.

I do belive that because I am stuck in a bubble and can't get out that I do suffer from depression. I have had thoughts of taking my life in the past, but have learned how to deal with my mind when it goes into that mode. Thank god!

I can't wait to leave home and become who I want to be.

 
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