Dr. Phil,
I am 18 years old and a freshman at Eastern New Mexico University. I live in the dorms for two purposes: one was to have a college experience and the other was to get away from my mother. My parents have been divorced since I was 3 so I only lived with my mother since 2004. But now that I'm an adult, she still treats me like a child and it just infuriates me so much. I try to tell her that I'm an adult and want her to treat me like one, but she never listens to me. For example, just recently, my midterm grades were mailed home. And I'll admit, they weren't exactly the best I've ever done. So what does my mother do? She emails my teachers! Even though she told me before I went to school that she wouldn't do anything and let me handle things such as this on my own. She tells me to withdraw from college and come home so I can go to the local community college, but I told her that I was an adult and I wanted to stay at the school I'm at now. So, in return, she informs me that I need to pay for school by myself unless my dad still decides to help pay. Not only that, she forced me to give her some of my things. I didn't think that was fair or treating me like an adult at all. She said her reasoning for this was because I breached the contract which she made me sign before I went off to college, but I don't see how and she has yet to tell me. One thing she has told me, however, is that she thinks I can't pass my first semester of college even though my teachers have very strong faith in me that I can. I didn't know what to think when she told me that because it shocked and hurt me that much, and I don't think she even realizes it. Now, just this morning, she calls me and says that she's been thinking and believed she went to easy on me. So now she's forcing me to give up more of my personal belongings AND she wants proof that I broke my glasses! That is just outrageous to me! It's hard for me just to tell her things anymore because I think either she won't believe me or she'll criticize my decision, which is blatantly obvious now. She is always ALWAYS comparing me with herself when she was my age and it gets extremely annoying. She tries to control almost everything I do, in one way or another. I know she doesn't want me to end up like my sister, but I'm an adult now and I have to learn how to handle these mistakes on my own. When I get older, if I mess up, what is she gonna do then? Take my house from me? I mean, seriously. I don't see how taking my personal items is teaching me anything. If anything, it just makes me spite her that much more. There are times when I just want to yell at her and tell her everything and anything that she did to me. The only problem with that is, she would most likely just criticize me and argue. I am quickly approaching the point in our relationship where I want absolutely nothing to do with my mother, but I don't know what to do anymore.
