Talk about dejavus??? I was 3 months pregnant when I discovered my husband was having an affair (with a planned pregnancy)! The other woman is "trailer trash" having been married 4 other times with children from each marriage (5 kids in all), who all ended up being raised by this woman's mother. The "other woman" worked with my husband.
To add insult to injury my now ex-husband and I also had a 2 1/2 year old with special needs. He had his first grand mal seizure 2 weeks before the affair began, and was airlifted out of our back yard! We didn't really know the extent of our son's "special needs" at this tme, so that really wasn't a factor I don't think.
Here's what I can tell you, girl......run, run, run and don't look back!! I took my husband back 3 times - even on the day he was supposed to marry this woman. Every single time he would stay up to 10 days or so, while she persued him mercilessly. She would leave notes on his truck in our driveway, etc. Every single time he went back to her because she was "easy" and working on a marriage isn't.
It was the most difficult thing I have ever been through, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I lost 50 pounds during the pregnancy - but my baby was born fat and healthy. The good news is I was looking good when it came time to start my life over again. I will think about you every day hoping you can be strong and get through this by respecting who you are and loving yourself enough to know you deserve better.
16 years have passed and I can tell you I am happier and have lived a more satisfied lilfe than I ever could have with him. I have been with a man (now married to him) for 12 years who has been a better father to my boys than my ex-husband could have ever been. He's strong and loving and takes responsibility for his actions - all traits necessary to raise boys. He has loved and cared for my special needs son as if he were his own - and has pushed me to allow this child to be his best.
My ex-husband married the "other woman" and has lived a miserable, unhappy, unfulfilled life. He has been repaid for his actions time and time again. This has been sweet pay-back for me. I didn't have to do anything but be patient.
Life will go on - and will be so much better if you allow yourself to move on. Keeping my family together was all I wanted too - and I was willing to sacrifice myself for that. What I can tell you is that was not the role model I should have ever wanted for my boys, and thank God my ex-husband made the moves for me!
Be strong and believe in yourself!!
(Original Air Date 10/13/08) Are you fighting to maintain a happy marriage and family, but find your life crumbling down around you? Maybe you’ll relate to Dr. Phil’s guests. Angelo was served with divorce papers two weeks ago but can’t bring himself to read them. His wife of 12 years, Kathy, moved out four months ago. Angelo says the divorce papers were a wake-up call, and now he’s ready to do whatever it takes to save his marriage. Kathy says she’s heard it all before. The couple has three children, and Kathy is eight months pregnant with baby number four. Dr. Phil sits down with Angelo and Kathy to see if there’s a sliver of hope for turning this marriage around. Join the discussion.
