Message Boards

Topic : 10/14 Campus Crisis

Number of Replies: 134
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 02:47:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents and college students, listen up! College campuses all across the country are dealing with issues relating to sexual assault, drinking deaths and hazing. Did you know that as many as one in four college women are victims of rape or attempted sexual assault? And that 84 percent of college men who committed rape said that what they did would not be defined as rape in their own minds? Know the safety tips and warning signs before you or your child is caught in a crisis. Dr. Phil’s first guest, Cynthia, is a mother in anguish over the loss of her daughter, 19-year-old freshman, Megan. Seven months after Megan was allegedly gang raped by at least three men in her dormitory, the student took her own life. Attorney Gloria Allred represents Cynthia in a civil lawsuit claiming that Dominican College failed to investigate Megan’s alleged attack in any meaningful way. Hear the bizarre and disturbing twist in this story. Then, meet another freshman who’s already had two frightening experiences in her first month of college that left her mother wanting to bring her home. Plus, learn what you can teach your teen before he or she heads off to college, and the top five safety tips all students need to know to protect themselves on campus. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 31, 2008, 4:38 am CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: gatera99

I am clearly not explaining myself properly here.  I am not in anyway saying that dressing like a lady will prevent rape.  Not at all.  I am saying that dressing provocatively will entice it.  It's a fact.  I am not making it all about the girl.  It seems evident that the guy is the criminal.  Geeez.  I feel like I am talking to a bunch of retards. I give up.
This is the problem. Your sentence that dressing provacatively entices rape is just plain wrong. You say it's a fact. I don't know where your "facts" are coming from but that is the lie that men hang on to to excuse their bad behavior and place the blame directly on the backs of the victims.That is a load of crap also perpetuated by tv and movies. It is absolutely untrue. The women on this message board are knocking themselves out giving examples to you that prove that wrong. Many of them are rape victims who were dressed in t shirts and jeans. Retards huh?
 
November 17, 2008, 6:51 pm CST

Hi Dr phil

Im only 21 and live in Australia i would like to talk about the drinking situation that i had seen on your show today.

SHOULD YOUR BRING THE DRINKING AGE TO 18........I think yes ours is 18 and it gives us the chance to take on more responsibilities and learn from our actions at a good age, if your drinking age was 18 there would probably less people on the street causing trouble and getting arrested when they could be in a desinated area where there is surcurity or police that can keep an eye on the situation. I know alot of people that now keep out of trouble because they are in a safe environment.

 
February 18, 2009, 1:42 pm CST

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: danielamado

I'm a guy and I'm not backing up the guys, especially the ones who can't control their minds and hormones, but women also dress in lustful ways and flirt with guys too much that it leads some men to do what they do and they end up raping women. I see women who like to tease guys and lead them on, and when they get the guys all fired up about the women they blow the men off. You don't mess with people's sexual feelings like that, especially when you know that guys will screw anything that walks and has boobs. The fact that you know that, if you decide to play the tease game then don't complain if you get raped. You get back what you put out there. If you don't like being raped or sexually molested, then stop flirting or teasing.

 

As for the inoccent women who get caught in this situation. First I would recommend every teenage girl by their freshman year in High School to take a self-defense class. Also I would say never go anywhere by yourself. bring at least 2 more girl friends with you. Don't go anywhere with a guy alone if you don't plan to have sex with him because most likely guys will have sex on their mind. Don't put yourself in that situation. If you ever do then at least you'll be able to defend yourself and may get a chance to run away and ask for help. Do all that you can to stay out of that situation. Double-Date, Triple-Date........BE SAFE!!!

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt . -- George Eliot

I know this is a very old thread, but your post just blew me away. I suggest you go about informing yourself as to what rape is... find out the myths and the facts. Your estimation of men is so low that it's mind boggling. I can't imagine what sort of people you must hang out with. And since you feel that this is the way men are, you turn around and blame women for 'putting themselves in situations were they're going to be raped'?

Here are a few thoughts for you:
1) Circumstances do not create rapists. Rapists create circumstance. (Read that over and over until you get it.)

2) The number one factor that puts a woman at risk for being raped is living on planet earth. (Your post makes it apparent that you think women should move to another planet in order to be safe because men can't help themselves.)

3) Self defense classes are NOT going to help you if you are facing a rapist that becomes more excited and aggressive by someone resisting and fighting back. The thing that is going to help a woman the most is to listen to her instincts. If she can run, run. If running is not possible, then do whatever it takes to get out alive. (Not fighting back is a major guilt factor that many woman deal with because of the nonsense idea that she should always fight back, even if it increases her chances of being killed.)

Think about this: The police consistently tell the public that if you are being mugged or robbed, give the criminal whatever he wants. Do NOT fight him/her.  Your goal should be to get away with as little damage done as possible... like remaining alive. Why do you think the rules change when it comes to rape? They don't! 

I will say that I agree that women dress badly these days. The media has redefined beauty and equated it with sexy. Women want to be beautiful, and think that means they need to dress 'sexy'. It's not sexy and it's not beautiful... it's just trashy. But no matter how anyone dresses, they do NOT deserve to be raped. Ever.

I also think it's pretty silly for you to say that girls/women should never go anywhere by themselves. How about we lock rapists up so women can go where they want, when they want, with or without whoever they want? Instead of continuously slapping men on the wrist and turning them back out into society to rape again?
 
March 17, 2009, 5:43 pm CDT

Wow... that better not be how it sounds...

Quote From: danielamado

I'm a guy and I'm not backing up the guys, especially the ones who can't control their minds and hormones, but women also dress in lustful ways and flirt with guys too much that it leads some men to do what they do and they end up raping women. I see women who like to tease guys and lead them on, and when they get the guys all fired up about the women they blow the men off. You don't mess with people's sexual feelings like that, especially when you know that guys will screw anything that walks and has boobs. The fact that you know that, if you decide to play the tease game then don't complain if you get raped. You get back what you put out there. If you don't like being raped or sexually molested, then stop flirting or teasing.

 

As for the inoccent women who get caught in this situation. First I would recommend every teenage girl by their freshman year in High School to take a self-defense class. Also I would say never go anywhere by yourself. bring at least 2 more girl friends with you. Don't go anywhere with a guy alone if you don't plan to have sex with him because most likely guys will have sex on their mind. Don't put yourself in that situation. If you ever do then at least you'll be able to defend yourself and may get a chance to run away and ask for help. Do all that you can to stay out of that situation. Double-Date, Triple-Date........BE SAFE!!!

... cuz it sounds like you're blaming the victims.

However, if I may play Devil's Advocate here, I THINK I have an alternate take on the ill-conceived comments at the start of that message. There are some important things to take from this post and neither of them is to freak out at him about it.

The obvious reactionary response is one of jaw dropping incredulity. How could he even SUGGEST it's a woman's own actions that lead to an attack?

Now for the part I hate. The part where I think I see his point. It may be everyone's dream that we could all do whatever we want with no consequence but this is not the case. I for one appreciate the effort it takes to look nice, but I don't give the ladies any grief about it. The consequences described in the offending post are unfair and even cruel, no question, but they're also worth mentioning because it happens whether it's fair or not. Ladies, please for your own safety, don't dismiss this as a mindless rant. Flirting with the wrong guy and dressing inappropriately certainly does not WARRANT an attack and all sympathy is deserved when it happens. However, it only takes that ONE guy who isn't quite in the right amount of control, you know? They are in the minority, but they're always looking out for an opportunity. That doesn't make it the woman's fault at all but there is a possibility for prevention there. Just consider it. Things like not being alone with people you don't know, etc.

To counterpoint this, even a guy has to be careful like that. For instance, if I happen to look at the wrong guy (or the girl he's chatting up) the wrong way, I'll be in trouble. It's not fair, but it's the world we're in. All that needs to be said is that you have to be a bit careful, sad as it is. Awareness is the real key though. There are a lot of ways to have fun and still come home safe.
 
First | Prev | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | Next Page | Last Page