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Topic : 10/14 Campus Crisis

Number of Replies: 134
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 02:47:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents and college students, listen up! College campuses all across the country are dealing with issues relating to sexual assault, drinking deaths and hazing. Did you know that as many as one in four college women are victims of rape or attempted sexual assault? And that 84 percent of college men who committed rape said that what they did would not be defined as rape in their own minds? Know the safety tips and warning signs before you or your child is caught in a crisis. Dr. Phil’s first guest, Cynthia, is a mother in anguish over the loss of her daughter, 19-year-old freshman, Megan. Seven months after Megan was allegedly gang raped by at least three men in her dormitory, the student took her own life. Attorney Gloria Allred represents Cynthia in a civil lawsuit claiming that Dominican College failed to investigate Megan’s alleged attack in any meaningful way. Hear the bizarre and disturbing twist in this story. Then, meet another freshman who’s already had two frightening experiences in her first month of college that left her mother wanting to bring her home. Plus, learn what you can teach your teen before he or she heads off to college, and the top five safety tips all students need to know to protect themselves on campus. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 14, 2008, 6:43 am CDT

what??

Quote From: danielamado

I'm a guy and I'm not backing up the guys, especially the ones who can't control their minds and hormones, but women also dress in lustful ways and flirt with guys too much that it leads some men to do what they do and they end up raping women. I see women who like to tease guys and lead them on, and when they get the guys all fired up about the women they blow the men off. You don't mess with people's sexual feelings like that, especially when you know that guys will screw anything that walks and has boobs. The fact that you know that, if you decide to play the tease game then don't complain if you get raped. You get back what you put out there. If you don't like being raped or sexually molested, then stop flirting or teasing.

 

As for the inoccent women who get caught in this situation. First I would recommend every teenage girl by their freshman year in High School to take a self-defense class. Also I would say never go anywhere by yourself. bring at least 2 more girl friends with you. Don't go anywhere with a guy alone if you don't plan to have sex with him because most likely guys will have sex on their mind. Don't put yourself in that situation. If you ever do then at least you'll be able to defend yourself and may get a chance to run away and ask for help. Do all that you can to stay out of that situation. Double-Date, Triple-Date........BE SAFE!!!

This is such a load of you know what! Are you serious? Women don't ask to be sexually assaulted and are not reaping what they sow, by dressing in a 'lustful' way. A woman can dress however she desires - and a man too for that matter - People can flirt and tease and have fun, and then move on - that is not 'messing with someone's sexual feeling' - it's life. Most men - any decent man - will not 'screw anything that walks and has boobs. Most men know that when their date says no, it is no and that's that. You did mention a self-defense class, yes that is a good idea, but for boys and girls alike. We should be aware of our surroundings, but also be able to go on a date with the opposite sex without fear of having sex forced upon us, just because we are alone with the other person. I can't believe you have written such junk. If you truely feel this way, I suggest you get some counseling.
 
October 14, 2008, 9:42 am CDT

Young women take care of yourselves!!

My post is addressing on campus rape in partying situations.
Young gals need to be taught to value their safety at all times. They have something precious - their bodies and soul- if they are not vigilant with safe guarding their own bodies, who else will be??? 

 

Don't miscontrue this as blaming the victim,but this is the how I see it; people safeguard their possessions for example lock up the car, lock up the house, lock money up in a safe etc so that a robber doesn't get to it.  SAME thing with your body, protect it so a rapist does not get at it!!! Do you walk around displaying hundered dollar bills that you have?? NO!! because that is asking for trouble from a robber.  SAME thing with your body - if you get drunk and lose control of your safety, that's asking for trouble from a rapist. 


I don't get this idea that gals 'should be able' to trust fellow male  students  and to be safe with them - why?? U don't know these guys you just met in your 1st year of college. They don't know you either, so why would they care about U??   U cannot let  your guard down when with people U don't know. If you are partying, be responsible for yourself and don't drink too much.  The guys in these parties are drinking too, and lose control.  How can a very drunk guy understand  that your no is no?? Again, I'm not excusing such a horrific act, but trying to show it's a situation where a woman can never win by simply expecting men to do 'right' by her.  U can't expect the drunk guy to act responsibly anymore than a drunk woman would.  So don't get into those situations to begin with!!!  After you are raped, so what if he is sent to jail?? U will live forever with that hurt!! 

 

Protect your body and soul from rapists in the same manner you protect your belongings from robbers and thieves!!!

 
October 14, 2008, 9:51 am CDT

Yes, extacly your made up numbers help no one

Quote From: 2boysdad

Made up numbers help no one, and conspiracy theories prove nothing. The real numbers are not even close to 1 in 4. Get informed, read the articles. 
By the way I am one of those victims of another college students who probably had a parent just like you.  I even reported what happened and my school University of Virginia didn't even include it because they were to busy covering it up, because the guys parents had a lot of money and he was a serial campus date raper/sexual assaulter.     These numbers are real and it is parents like yourself who instead of doing something to solve the problem, cause it by misinforming others including their own children.  
 
October 14, 2008, 9:53 am CDT

Extactly,

Quote From: kchone

Your articles seem pretty biased.  I suggest people read THIS  link...

http://www.rainn.org/statistics

Considering it is RAINN's goal to help those who have been raped, assaulted, molested, you may think their stats are biased, but  the sources for their stats are more reliable.

 

Instead of him using false statistic, he should go and do something to educate others (including himself) with correct factual information in order to prevent sexual assaults.  And we wonder why so many parents have children that grow up to be rapists.  
 
October 14, 2008, 10:02 am CDT

Exactly

Quote From: butterfly1158

You may think the numbers are made up, maybe that makes you feel safer. Start talking to any group of women and ask how many of them have been sexually assaulted or abused in their lives. Do your own mini-poll. I think you will find those numbers are very accurate, if you ask in a gentle non-judgemental manner. The tone of your responses sounds like you have some sort of vested interest in disproving the number of victims. Do you have a relative who was accused of assault? It DOES happen that men can be falsely accused, that does not take away from those who have been truly victimized.

 

I am 49 years old, 2 years ago I was visiting in the home of a couple who were 15 years younger than I am. An hour or so into the evening I realized something was wrong, turns out my wine had been spiked. Both of them abused me, I didn't report it because I was too embarassed and I felt I couldn't prove I hadn't consented to the drugs or what had happened. If I could feel that intimidated at 47, how is a 19 year old going to react? It took me two years to accept that what had happened to me was criminal, that I was a victim. These two perpetrators see themselves as blameless, just as these guys on campus think that if a girl is so drunk she is unconscious that is "consent", ridiculous!

Quite honestly he is so misinformed, that I would question if he even can accurately define sexual assault or rape, or actually understands what it is.   Perhaps, if he knew someone who he believed was falsely accused of sexual assault or rape it is because they did it, but he doesn't even understand that a rapist isn't just someone who jumps out of the bushes. 

As women I feel we need to have a stronger movement.  I he came on here and made the same comment about a poll about a minority group it would be completely unacceptable.   The same with music from rap and other lyrics.  Why are they allowed to demean women?  

Very sorry to hear what happened to you.  
 
October 14, 2008, 10:30 am CDT

Personal responsiblity

I wasn't even at my first college a full year and there were three sexual assaults. All of which involved alcohol. When my literature proffesor brought up the subject, one girl said "don't get drunk and cry rape." Its a touchy subject, on the one hand, someone who is under the influence is incapable of giving consent, on the other hand, should a person take responsibility for their condition. Young people, particularly girls, are constantly being warned about the dangers of excessive drinking (at least in my experience). Yet they continue to binge and party, socially no less. A teacher told me a story about a girl who drank to the point of passing out cold. When she woke up she wasn't in the bar anymore. She was in a house in a dark neighborhood on someones bed, none of which she had ever seen before. She could've easily been raped and had no idea. All because she wanted to get smashed.

On a different note, parents are kidding themselves if they think a campus being designated "dry" means anything. I was in a dry dorm and the RAs knew damn well there was alcohol. Their attitude was, and I quote, "if we don't see it, it's not here."

 
October 14, 2008, 11:18 am CDT

Convince the Chancellors Across America

Please Dr. Phil -- Help me convince the Chancellors across America that we need to start working on finding ways to alleviate the problem. Alaska is #3 across the U.S. -- fortunately I am able to give presentations on suicide prevention, but I need to have the permission to talk to more classrooms. The media needs to let me tell the survivor stories too.... HELP, open the door to the students who are crying for help....PLEASE!!!!

 

Barb F

Alaska's Field Liaison for the Suicide Prevention Action Network, USA

 

Watch the National Suicide Survivor's Day program www.afsp.org 11/22/08 for your own DVD or gathering... please, you are important to me. Thanks Dr. Phil for the work you do.

 

 

 
October 14, 2008, 11:54 am CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: uncondition513

Please Dr. Phil -- Help me convince the Chancellors across America that we need to start working on finding ways to alleviate the problem. Alaska is #3 across the U.S. -- fortunately I am able to give presentations on suicide prevention, but I need to have the permission to talk to more classrooms. The media needs to let me tell the survivor stories too.... HELP, open the door to the students who are crying for help....PLEASE!!!!

 

Barb F

Alaska's Field Liaison for the Suicide Prevention Action Network, USA

 

Watch the National Suicide Survivor's Day program www.afsp.org 11/22/08 for your own DVD or gathering... please, you are important to me. Thanks Dr. Phil for the work you do.

 

 

I worked as a volunteer on a Suicide Crisis Hot-line.....it could become so frustrating when someone's on the brink of taking the permanent solution to a temporary problem. When they are so young, and in an immediate crisis as was that poor girl whose mother was on the show today, they don't stop and think that this, too, shall pass.

 

I wish she had been able to get the kind of help that may have saved her life!

 

I wish you luck in getting the permission to talk to more classrooms....getting the message out there is surely needed. 

 
October 14, 2008, 12:24 pm CDT

CaMPUS CRISIS

We are going trought a similar thing with my daughter at the age of 14 she was raped and went trought school, children aids all the test when done AT CHEO and confirmed she was raped. it is now almost 3 years  she is still going trough therapy the POlice closed her fiel 2 weeks after some policemand know the alleged accused from home town i think that help them to clsoe the case file now the alleged accuser is starting to go around my daughter's work hanging out ther the police cant do a thing now she started cutting herself becaue she is so in pain. Wher is the justice into this. I feel no policeman should be investigating a crime when they presonnaly know the accuser.
 
October 14, 2008, 12:37 pm CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

First of all, my heart goes out to the family of the girl who committed suicide after being allegedly gang-raped. 

 

Second, what did the girl mean when she told her friend, "I THINK I've been raped?"  This makes me think she was drinking at the time--NOT THAT THIS MAKES GETTING RAPED OK--but why wasn't drinking talked about as one safety precaution that students can take to prevent crimes.  Everything BUT drinking was mentioned and I think that was a mistake.

 
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