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Topic : 10/14 Campus Crisis

Number of Replies: 134
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 02:47:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents and college students, listen up! College campuses all across the country are dealing with issues relating to sexual assault, drinking deaths and hazing. Did you know that as many as one in four college women are victims of rape or attempted sexual assault? And that 84 percent of college men who committed rape said that what they did would not be defined as rape in their own minds? Know the safety tips and warning signs before you or your child is caught in a crisis. Dr. Phil’s first guest, Cynthia, is a mother in anguish over the loss of her daughter, 19-year-old freshman, Megan. Seven months after Megan was allegedly gang raped by at least three men in her dormitory, the student took her own life. Attorney Gloria Allred represents Cynthia in a civil lawsuit claiming that Dominican College failed to investigate Megan’s alleged attack in any meaningful way. Hear the bizarre and disturbing twist in this story. Then, meet another freshman who’s already had two frightening experiences in her first month of college that left her mother wanting to bring her home. Plus, learn what you can teach your teen before he or she heads off to college, and the top five safety tips all students need to know to protect themselves on campus. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 14, 2008, 12:41 pm CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: ronin2

I wasn't even at my first college a full year and there were three sexual assaults. All of which involved alcohol. When my literature proffesor brought up the subject, one girl said "don't get drunk and cry rape." Its a touchy subject, on the one hand, someone who is under the influence is incapable of giving consent, on the other hand, should a person take responsibility for their condition. Young people, particularly girls, are constantly being warned about the dangers of excessive drinking (at least in my experience). Yet they continue to binge and party, socially no less. A teacher told me a story about a girl who drank to the point of passing out cold. When she woke up she wasn't in the bar anymore. She was in a house in a dark neighborhood on someones bed, none of which she had ever seen before. She could've easily been raped and had no idea. All because she wanted to get smashed.

On a different note, parents are kidding themselves if they think a campus being designated "dry" means anything. I was in a dry dorm and the RAs knew damn well there was alcohol. Their attitude was, and I quote, "if we don't see it, it's not here."

I totally agree with you 100%.  A person needs to take responsibility for their condition (being sober).  You're just making rape so much easier by being drunk.
 
October 14, 2008, 1:07 pm CDT

Self Defense

Before I would agree to send my daughter across the U.S. to college, I insisted she take a self defense class. Although I knew it wouldn't guarantee her complete safety, I felt she would be better prepared should something arise. I'd like to see more of this kind of proactive resource made available to co-eds.
Be safe...
 
October 14, 2008, 1:28 pm CDT

fighting for my daughter

My daughter is going thru something very similar now.   She went to bed in her room and woke up with a boy on top of her and he was dry humping her.  The boy was let in by her roommate.  They did not get along.  The  college did nothing.  They called it a practical joke and the police reports even states my daughter said it was a joke.  She did not.  The states attorney even refused to prosecute, saying they didn't think they could convince 12 people it wasn't  a joke.  She has since quit school and came home.  We have contacted an attorney.  It has been the worst experience of her life and mine.  The college administration does nothing, except protect their reputation.  The dorm rules and policies need to be changed. 

 
October 14, 2008, 1:44 pm CDT

Justice needs to be served

I watched this show today and was very touched.  I am also a victim of rape where the police did nothing for my justice.  When I got my rape kit done, the authorities called me about a month later and told me who the person was that raped me. They could tell because of the sperm sample they obtained and it was already in a criminal profile. Even after telling me who the offender was, I never got to go to court and testify. There were also other offences from the same area. I even got the chance to see him again at a local gas station where he smiled and waved at me as he drove away only to do this to someone else. People like this do not deserve to have freedom!  I know how Megan felt because this is a horrible thing to happen to a person. Even having a rape kit performed is also horrible! I had to strip my clothes and give them away,while giving away 10 viles of my blood and ripping out 10 pieces of my hair from my scalp!  My thoughts and prayers are with this family and I pray that justice is done for this victim and for all victims all over! We need to work together and get people like this off the street!
 
October 14, 2008, 1:48 pm CDT

Campus error

My campus is a small one, only about 800-900 students, but still there are lacks in security. My dorm strickly a all female dorm, our front door broke and anyone with the smallest of strength could just pull it open. It took almost a week and a half for them to finally fix it, this is after I went to the Dean of Student Life. I also talked with the security guard about why there is no female guards on campus. The school will not hire one. What if someone (for example: the 2 drunk men security had to call police on because they almost got into my dorm, or thenaked mentally disturbed man who they found in a campus building bathroom) got into my dorm and I just happened to open the door thinking it was a friend on the other side? What if there was a security issue in the all female dorm I stay in? The male security guards cannot enter my dorm at all. There would be NO ONE to help us!
 
October 14, 2008, 1:59 pm CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

 We are still raising girls who are too nice, too trusting and too naive. The girl on the show, Megan, was a clear example of this.  They trust others so they drink way too much. They won't set up boundaries or be firm with a guy for fear of being called a bitch.Most girls won't risk that. They want male attention and approval way way too much to stand up for themselves or their friends ( and guys know it )The only way things will change is when girls recognise that they need to take a stand together more than they need male approval. Better to be a bitch and be safe then surrounded by guys, drunk and at risk.

 
October 14, 2008, 2:00 pm CDT

For Dr Phil

Not ALL colleges deny or cover up assaults. And what really piises me off about today's show was listening to several comments about "why didn't the RA do something, isn't that their job", and crap like that! They can't do anything about something unless it is reported, they do their rounds, they follow through on ALL complaints, they have to take care of drunks, and they get hate messages written on their doors. They do what they can, it is up to the students to be mature enough to be away at school. Some of that has to be taught by the parent, and how well do you know your child?? Are they ready to go away to school, if not have them live at home and go to a community college the first two years. Have them help pay if not pay all of their own bills, they are less likely to party to the point of flunking out if it's their money they are throwing away! Remember Ryan,one of  the FIRST people  to die on the Virginia Tech campus, he was a caring R.A. who went to check on a disturbance. My son has been an RA and an undergraduate hall director for most of his college life, he works hard and does his job well, he finds drunk students and the parties to be very disgusting and childish. Some of them get very little sleep (and yes, they have classes also, full schedules!) because they have to stay and take care of some puking drunk who has fallen down the steps, or any number of infractions. There are many, many, students who are there to LEARN and they work hard, don't put them in the same category as the party kids. Yes, I feel bad for the grl who killed herself after being raped, and like another person wrote here there is no excuse for rape, but if she had not been drinking (underage) and had left with her friend who was in the audience, she would have been safe. The students who did this should be most definitely prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, but she also needed to take some of the responsibility for her own safety. Do any of you parents every watch those stupid shows such as "Party Heat", "Beach Patrol" etc??? Do you look at your child's MYSPACE page??? If my kid was acting like that on spring break or had those pictures on the internet, they ass would be right back at home going to community college and I would be regualting their computer. When they think they are adult enough, let them pay their own way and prove they can handle what it means to be an adult.
 
October 14, 2008, 2:07 pm CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: trigreen

Quite honestly he is so misinformed, that I would question if he even can accurately define sexual assault or rape, or actually understands what it is.   Perhaps, if he knew someone who he believed was falsely accused of sexual assault or rape it is because they did it, but he doesn't even understand that a rapist isn't just someone who jumps out of the bushes. 

As women I feel we need to have a stronger movement.  I he came on here and made the same comment about a poll about a minority group it would be completely unacceptable.   The same with music from rap and other lyrics.  Why are they allowed to demean women?  

Very sorry to hear what happened to you.  
They are allowed to demean women because women collectively stay silent or call each other those names. If women had  strong leadership and there was the same outrage as when  the "N" word is used against African Americans maybe just maybe things would change. Women DO need a strong voice but sadly they are using their voices much of the time to demean each other ( calling  them bitches and other lovely names )  rather than to command respect.
 
October 14, 2008, 2:20 pm CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: 2boysdad

Made up numbers help no one, and conspiracy theories prove nothing. The real numbers are not even close to 1 in 4. Get informed, read the articles. 
I have two freshmen in college and in the parents handbook my husband and I received there is a section on canpus sexual assault. The statistics given for rape is 1 in 4..It appears that some men want to downplay those stats, call it a conspiracy as soon as women band together and speak out or simply call it male bashing. It's all a form of denial.
 
October 14, 2008, 2:22 pm CDT

Sexual Harrasment

My daughter had another type of problem during her first year. She worked under a graduate student, who was 5 years older, on a research project. When she made it clear to the male graduate student in charge that she wasn't interested in him, he told the Doctor in charge she had not done the work and deserved a low grade. She had to confront the doctor and the head of the department and do extra work to get the grade she deserved. The Doctors put the blame on her for not telling them he was coming on to her. She changed schools this year so she wouldn't have to deal with any of them again. She also found out this was not this grad students first time doing something like this.
 
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