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Topic : 10/14 Campus Crisis

Number of Replies: 134
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 02:47:32 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents and college students, listen up! College campuses all across the country are dealing with issues relating to sexual assault, drinking deaths and hazing. Did you know that as many as one in four college women are victims of rape or attempted sexual assault? And that 84 percent of college men who committed rape said that what they did would not be defined as rape in their own minds? Know the safety tips and warning signs before you or your child is caught in a crisis. Dr. Phil’s first guest, Cynthia, is a mother in anguish over the loss of her daughter, 19-year-old freshman, Megan. Seven months after Megan was allegedly gang raped by at least three men in her dormitory, the student took her own life. Attorney Gloria Allred represents Cynthia in a civil lawsuit claiming that Dominican College failed to investigate Megan’s alleged attack in any meaningful way. Hear the bizarre and disturbing twist in this story. Then, meet another freshman who’s already had two frightening experiences in her first month of college that left her mother wanting to bring her home. Plus, learn what you can teach your teen before he or she heads off to college, and the top five safety tips all students need to know to protect themselves on campus. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 14, 2008, 2:28 pm CDT

Danger on Campus

During the show today..... not once did you mention about "males" being attacked.  That is happening on our campus's also.......  young men don't think that being attacked can happen to them...... It is happening .............. and sadly..... they are not being reported like attacks on women are.  Please include this fact also...... or do a show on men that have been attacked .......  I know it is happening in our college town of Iowa City, IA. at the University of Iowa.....

 
October 14, 2008, 2:31 pm CDT

I know what it is like to be sexual assulted

I know what it is like to be sexual assulted.  I was sexually assulted by my former high school councelor. It all started when his wife died in 1997.  He would do all kinds of things to me and he would say that he would treat me like a real woman.  I was only 22 or 23 at the time it all happened.  I stopped it last year.  He has been retired for a number of years now and he lives in a different state.  I would go to the state that he lived in because I was stressed from work and other things.  I stopped it last year.  I have been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for a number of years, but this is the first year that I ever told anyone.  I told my therapist just this year.  I feel like it was my fault that it happened.  I wish it didn't happen to me but it did and I keep asking myself why did this have to happen to me.  I was dianosed with PTSD because of what had happen to me and because of other things as well.  I also have major depression, and anxiety too.  When I leave work I sometimes don't feel safe when I leave work, but park in a well lighted place.  I just wish this didn't happen to me and I feel like it is my fault.  I also reported him about what he did to me about a month ago to an investigator and I am suppose to have a dective call me as well I am really scared to talk to the dective.
 
October 14, 2008, 2:35 pm CDT

Excuses

Quote From: danielamado

I'm a guy and I'm not backing up the guys, especially the ones who can't control their minds and hormones, but women also dress in lustful ways and flirt with guys too much that it leads some men to do what they do and they end up raping women. I see women who like to tease guys and lead them on, and when they get the guys all fired up about the women they blow the men off. You don't mess with people's sexual feelings like that, especially when you know that guys will screw anything that walks and has boobs. The fact that you know that, if you decide to play the tease game then don't complain if you get raped. You get back what you put out there. If you don't like being raped or sexually molested, then stop flirting or teasing.

 

As for the inoccent women who get caught in this situation. First I would recommend every teenage girl by their freshman year in High School to take a self-defense class. Also I would say never go anywhere by yourself. bring at least 2 more girl friends with you. Don't go anywhere with a guy alone if you don't plan to have sex with him because most likely guys will have sex on their mind. Don't put yourself in that situation. If you ever do then at least you'll be able to defend yourself and may get a chance to run away and ask for help. Do all that you can to stay out of that situation. Double-Date, Triple-Date........BE SAFE!!!

This the problem with some in society, let's blame everyone else but not be responsible for our actions.  As a parent we hope we raise our children with good values & accountability.  I can't belive I am responding this.  I hope some day you can respect  women & realize what respect is.

 

 
October 14, 2008, 2:38 pm CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

I don't understand why this beautiful young woman killed herself. What happened to her was disgusting, but not worth her life. I wonder if she was mentally ill and being raped pushed her over the edge? There is a definite flaw in how children are being raised. The fact that people still feel shame over being sexually violated is ridiculous. You don’t feel ashamed when someone punches you or knocks you on the head. I’m afraid until attitudes change more girls are going to feel victimized, sullied, or dirty for something they had no control over. It makes me so angry. I want women to stand up, get angry and fight. I’m sorry Megan is dead. I’m sorry she couldn’t see past the crime to a better day. I hope the family sues the school and the police department. I hope the punitive damages are so high it resonates in the minds of all the idiots out there that don’t do their jobs when a crime is committed.







               
 
October 14, 2008, 2:45 pm CDT

campus Crisis

First let me say the first story you had was heart wrenching and as mother who has lost a child, I know the pain that she is feeling and truly think the school was negligent.

As for the second child I am sorry but she likes the drama, welcome to college, both have one thing in common her.  It appears that she likes the attention and that she overreacts if you dont like what happens pick new friends. This was not a big deal, I am sure that she was in the middle of things liek drama queens tend to do. And Dr Phil get a grip

 
October 14, 2008, 2:47 pm CDT

Living in a Dorm

 

What amazes me about dorm life is how many young women think nothing of having a young man in their dorm room.  Dr. Phil is right about setting boundaries.  We can't expect colleges or security personnel or even friends or other people to protect us if we're not going to protect ourselves. 

 

Stay in common areas.  There are plenty of spaces on campus to talk without going to the dorm room.  Men and women living in the same dorms just reduces privacy and safety.  Not all men are trustworthy, and so many young women can't tell which is which.  A guy who wants you to share the intimacy of your bedroom, your personal space, (or his) is making a statement that you should pay attention to.

 

I grew up around drinkers so I don't drink.  This is from my experience on campus:  If you are drinking, YOU are not in control of YOU. So it is infinitely easier for HIM to control you....think about that.  Keep in mind that:

  • some men (and women, too) drink SO THAT
  • they CAN do
  • what they would NOT do
  • IF they were sober
  • and THINK they have an excuse (in their own mind) for doing it
  • even if someone else gets hurt. 

They are immature.  They will not admit to this because it doesn't sound good..  They will say they just want to have fun. Don't delude yourself.  If you're around these people, they are not your friends.  They are willing to do something where someone might get hurt.  Look for a better class of people.  If you ARE one of these people, grow up.

 
October 14, 2008, 2:54 pm CDT

Campus Crisis

My son just graduated from college in Dec 07. The things I witnessed were shocking in regards to both sexes. Granted sexual harassment is a very serious things but just remember girls can be predators also. My son was accused of assault on a female. The school did nothing and the local police were totally incompentent. Our lives were destroyed for 2 years and  thousands of dollars in lawyer fees. Parents need to stay in constant contact with their child and know exactly what your child is doing. Listen to them when they talk about their college life and the activites that they are involved in. Even if the subject matter is hard for you to hear. Our lives are back on  track and my son's life is moving forth in the right direction. Charges were dismissed.

 
October 14, 2008, 2:56 pm CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: sister3

Not ALL colleges deny or cover up assaults. And what really piises me off about today's show was listening to several comments about "why didn't the RA do something, isn't that their job", and crap like that! They can't do anything about something unless it is reported, they do their rounds, they follow through on ALL complaints, they have to take care of drunks, and they get hate messages written on their doors. They do what they can, it is up to the students to be mature enough to be away at school. Some of that has to be taught by the parent, and how well do you know your child?? Are they ready to go away to school, if not have them live at home and go to a community college the first two years. Have them help pay if not pay all of their own bills, they are less likely to party to the point of flunking out if it's their money they are throwing away! Remember Ryan,one of  the FIRST people  to die on the Virginia Tech campus, he was a caring R.A. who went to check on a disturbance. My son has been an RA and an undergraduate hall director for most of his college life, he works hard and does his job well, he finds drunk students and the parties to be very disgusting and childish. Some of them get very little sleep (and yes, they have classes also, full schedules!) because they have to stay and take care of some puking drunk who has fallen down the steps, or any number of infractions. There are many, many, students who are there to LEARN and they work hard, don't put them in the same category as the party kids. Yes, I feel bad for the grl who killed herself after being raped, and like another person wrote here there is no excuse for rape, but if she had not been drinking (underage) and had left with her friend who was in the audience, she would have been safe. The students who did this should be most definitely prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, but she also needed to take some of the responsibility for her own safety. Do any of you parents every watch those stupid shows such as "Party Heat", "Beach Patrol" etc??? Do you look at your child's MYSPACE page??? If my kid was acting like that on spring break or had those pictures on the internet, they ass would be right back at home going to community college and I would be regualting their computer. When they think they are adult enough, let them pay their own way and prove they can handle what it means to be an adult.
AMEN!!!! You are so right.  It is sad that she was raped and killed herself.  But thousands of female students across the USA have character, morality, refuse to drink or hang with the wrong crowd and are safe sober and  in bed early. We all make our own bed...
 
October 14, 2008, 3:05 pm CDT

I Can't Believe...

I am not understanding why the 2nd Meegan is getting so much sympathy! The first rule in the big world is, trust no one! She is a tad too friendly for a young lady  just leaving home and just too gullable to have been allowed to go away to college in the first place. Both guys she barely knew, but it was okay to bring them into her dorm room or her car? When I was in coolege the lay out of the dorm room was different, but young women need to realize that it is the same as your bedroom at home; all are not welcomed!  Guys were not invited to my room and if one was brave enough to stop by unannounced, he was told in the firmest voice and straightest face that he was not welcomed adn he he stopped by again I would be reporting him to campus police and if they did not do thier job, my DADDY would definitely do his! I don't blame the guy that slugged her because he was drunk and she knew it!  After she did her good deed, she should have left him to fend for himself! Sweetheart, stop trying to save the world when you can't even save yourself! Wake up MOM, shes' not a caring as she is wanting to be liked !
 
October 14, 2008, 3:05 pm CDT

10/14 Campus Crisis

Quote From: KathySue

First of all, my heart goes out to the family of the girl who committed suicide after being allegedly gang-raped. 

 

Second, what did the girl mean when she told her friend, "I THINK I've been raped?"  This makes me think she was drinking at the time--NOT THAT THIS MAKES GETTING RAPED OK--but why wasn't drinking talked about as one safety precaution that students can take to prevent crimes.  Everything BUT drinking was mentioned and I think that was a mistake.

Well noooo, they can't do that, that would mean girls have to take responsability for themselves... God forbid!!!  I'm gonna catch heck for this but... :  Most people who have been victimized have, at some point, done something that made them potential victims.  The criminals should be prosecuted all the way.  But I wish we would all stop making martyrs out of drinking flirty party girls who get raped.

Like Dr Phil said... there are no accidents.  For anyone. 

 
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