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Topic : 07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

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Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 02:51:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/15/08) During high-stress times we all seek relief. But some people are unable to find an outlet for their pain, and they resort to the drastic act of suicide. Dr. Phil hosts an honest and open discussion about this serious topic in the hopes of saving lives. His first guest is Eric Steel, director of the controversial film The Bridge. The documentary showcases people taking their lives by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA. Is this a snuff film or does it raise awareness and create dialogue about this devastating epidemic? Then, meet a couple whose friend's last moments were captured in the documentary. You'll be surprised to hear how they feel about seeing his death on film. Next, did you know that more than half of American college students have considered suicide at some point in their lives? Casey, 17, was bound for college and a bright future, but cut her dreams short when she, too, jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Her parents share their struggles, including why they blame themselves for her death. And, Dr. Thomas Joiner, psychology professor and author of Why People Die By Suicide, talks about a personal loss that inspired him to devote his professional life to suicide prevention. Find out what he says are the three common traits exhibited by some considering suicide. Plus, learn the critical warning signs to watch for that could be the difference between life and death. And, if you or someone you know is considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 12, 2008, 12:21 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Bridge Choice Controversy Doctor Phil The Tragic. I like the way you speak to me. See you on Wednesday-

October 15th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.--------------------------------------------------------------------

 
October 12, 2008, 4:19 pm CDT

Suicide

3 yrs. ago my 34 yr. old daughter attempted suicide & then again 2 yrs. later. Thank God she failed both times. One thing that we as a family did not have availabe was, (other then therapy) a place to go and talk about our feelings. To be able to share how we were feeling with other people that had gone through the same thing. After all this time, we as a family still have not healed completely. After my daughter's first attempt  she still had custody of her 2 daughters. The second time her ex-husband took the girls from where they had been living. The year before he left my daughter and 2 grandaughters at a birthday party at my oldest daughters house and called later that day and said they could not go back to his mother's to live with him, he could live their but not my daughter or grandaughters (the girls were 4 & 5 yrs. old).  3 months later (after going to a marriage counselor) he told me daughter he did not want to be married anymore. To this day my heart still aches for her. For a while my other 3 daughters would have nothing to do with her. My youngest daughter still feels pretty much the same that she did then,

I wanted to tell you my story so that maybe you can find a place that people can go and talk about their loved ones and how they as a family can deal with a suicide attempt.

 

Thank you.

 
October 12, 2008, 4:41 pm CDT

The next life

Quote From: hpmx59

Bridge Choice Controversy Doctor Phil The Tragic. I like the way you speak to me. See you on Wednesday-

October 15th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.--------------------------------------------------------------------

 If people would understand that you made a promise with God to fulfill this life. By killing your self, you just have to come back and do it all over again. no thanks, ill just try my harest to learn what im sopposed to learn, and then go on, who wants to do it twice. 
 
October 12, 2008, 8:56 pm CDT

The Bridge Controversy

Last year my daughter had a nervous breakdown and tried to commit suicide.  She was going through a very nasty divorce, lost her job due to having surgery, couldn't find another job didn't have insurance. Is a single mother, couldn't pay the bills and there wasn't anyone to help because she got child support, which isn't considered income except when you need medical care etc. It was the worst day of our lives and if it wasn't for the Lord giving me strength and assurance I would have also had a nervous breakdown. She was taken from her home in handcuffs because she said she just wanted to be left alone to die everyone would be better off without her. She didn't have any insurance, so she was not treated as she should have been at the hospital.  They did testing on her, they should have know the medication that she took does not show up in tests but it stays in the body and after so many hours can cause you to stop breathing.  They said she was cooperative, non combative, she couldn't even sign her name when she was admitted.When my grandson and I got to the hospital, no one spoke to us and told us anything they finally let us go back to where she was and she was like a drunk slurring her words and saying "Now let met tell you this and that like a drunk person does.  There was a man saying over and over I'm hungry somebody feed me. and finally my daughter said"Shut the hell up" and the man said ,"Ok" and he shut up for a while and everyone laughed except the woman who was in the next cubicle and she said to my daughter that wasn't funny why didn't you just finish yourself off. and my daugher said are you able to get up and come over her and the woman said yes and my daughter said come here and I'll beat the s--- out of you. the security gurad had to tell them both to stop.  But I didn't see a Dr but they put on the Drs notes that she was well groomed, she hadn't bathed or washed her hair or anything that day.  They wrote she was very cooperative and non combative.  They are supposed to keep suicide attempts for 32 hours for observation they released her into her own custody, after 3 hours.  Of couse my Grandson & I were there to take her home.  I was in shock from everything that had happened.  When we got outside she didn't want to get in the car and I told get in the car I'm taking you home I'm tired and I need to go home.  She got into the car. We took her home she got home stayed up for quite a while, which we found out was good because she could have gone to sleep and died.  We kept someone with her for 3 days and nights straight.  One morning she got up and was back to her normal self.  The hospital is now going to sue her for payment for the ER visit.  She was fortunate to have people who loved her and watched over her 24 hours a day what happens when people don't have insurance and are released and they have no one to take care of them, they probably lay down and die and they say that the person completed the suicide attempt.  Something needs to be done to protect people who have no insurance and are at their whits end and try to commit suicide to make sure they are given the care that an insured person would have.  I too had no one to help me through this time I truly believe I was in shock for a month or more and just talking about it all now, I'm shaking. My Grandson had adults problems when he's only a child. I thank God that when you have no person, you have a God who loves and cares about you and your family.
 
October 12, 2008, 8:57 pm CDT

The Bridge Controversy

Quote From: eddie3021

3 yrs. ago my 34 yr. old daughter attempted suicide & then again 2 yrs. later. Thank God she failed both times. One thing that we as a family did not have availabe was, (other then therapy) a place to go and talk about our feelings. To be able to share how we were feeling with other people that had gone through the same thing. After all this time, we as a family still have not healed completely. After my daughter's first attempt  she still had custody of her 2 daughters. The second time her ex-husband took the girls from where they had been living. The year before he left my daughter and 2 grandaughters at a birthday party at my oldest daughters house and called later that day and said they could not go back to his mother's to live with him, he could live their but not my daughter or grandaughters (the girls were 4 & 5 yrs. old).  3 months later (after going to a marriage counselor) he told me daughter he did not want to be married anymore. To this day my heart still aches for her. For a while my other 3 daughters would have nothing to do with her. My youngest daughter still feels pretty much the same that she did then,

I wanted to tell you my story so that maybe you can find a place that people can go and talk about their loved ones and how they as a family can deal with a suicide attempt.

 

Thank you.

It makes me very sad to hear about your daughter and granddaughters.  We have one daughter in college and I can only try and imagine how horrible it must be to have a child so hopeless that she/he feels this is the only thing left.  One thing I can't understand is how her sisters could do ANYTHING BUT help her.  Nothing my Sisters could do would ever cause me not to love them and try to help them.  Maybe YOU could start a support group in your area.  Just run an ad in the local paper and see if there are others who need the same type of support.  There is really only one person who can truly give her hope and that is God.  I pray that her heart will find hope again and she will realize that if a man would do this to his wife and children, is he really worth very much?  Not really.  Hopefully, one day she will realize that she and her children are worth fighting for and she will not stay at a "pity party", but will pick herself up and have a wonderful life.  God Bless.
 
October 13, 2008, 7:53 am CDT

How dare you!

Quote From: ozierabbit

It makes me very sad to hear about your daughter and granddaughters.  We have one daughter in college and I can only try and imagine how horrible it must be to have a child so hopeless that she/he feels this is the only thing left.  One thing I can't understand is how her sisters could do ANYTHING BUT help her.  Nothing my Sisters could do would ever cause me not to love them and try to help them.  Maybe YOU could start a support group in your area.  Just run an ad in the local paper and see if there are others who need the same type of support.  There is really only one person who can truly give her hope and that is God.  I pray that her heart will find hope again and she will realize that if a man would do this to his wife and children, is he really worth very much?  Not really.  Hopefully, one day she will realize that she and her children are worth fighting for and she will not stay at a "pity party", but will pick herself up and have a wonderful life.  God Bless.

How dare you say that a suicidal person is at a "pity party!"   Have YOU ever been suicidal? Having made a statement like just "pick herself up and have a wonderful life," I doubt it.  For your information, Clinical Depression and Bipolar Illness take away your ability to just get over it.  YOU don't know what this person's mental health situation or personal history is, so how can you be so flippant?  Walk a mile in her shoes before you spout your idiotic comments!  "Pity party" -- God that pisses me off!

 

 

 
October 13, 2008, 8:08 am CDT

10/15 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Suicide is a vey scary thing. No one wants to feel that there is nothing else. My son died in an accident at 9 years old in 1992.  6 monoths after his death I attempted suicide. I spent 8 days on the pysch ward in the hospital. Today I am happy & healthy, but that does not happen with everyone.. I know that there are issues with insurance, but there are organzations out there willing to help. You really have to look. I have had many years of therapy! The sad thing is that there is a stigma attached to depression or any other type of mental illness. As a society we have to undersatnd that it is a health issue like any other medical problem. We don't chastize people with heart or liver diesase. Trust me people do not like feeling like dying.  
 
October 13, 2008, 8:13 am CDT

10/15 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: beyondruby

 If people would understand that you made a promise with God to fulfill this life. By killing your self, you just have to come back and do it all over again. no thanks, ill just try my harest to learn what im sopposed to learn, and then go on, who wants to do it twice. 
Apparently you have never suffered from depression or for that matther any other illness.. And you must also be a saint who has never done anything wrong. Depression is an illness and trust me people do not like feeling like taking their lives.. Would God like you any less if you had another diesase. We all make promises to God, and hate dissappointing Him. We just have to do our best and that is all He asks of us.
 
October 13, 2008, 8:27 am CDT

Sympathy and Support

I've just been reading some of the posts to this thread.  I come from a family where there have been many traumas, including suicides and attempts at suicide.  I had an uncle who committed suicide many years ago and I remember thinking how does anyone have what it takes to kill themselves.  I always said I was not afraid of death (I'm still not), but I was afraid the process of dying was going to take a long time and be painful and that prevented me from trying suicide many times.  I have personally thought about committing suicide quite a few times over the years, even to the point of making a plan and fantasizing about what it would really feel like.  I'm a Christian, though, and God and I have had several conversations about the subject of suicide and death in general, and I have so far avoided any attempts.  However, I have a daughter (also a Christian) who actually did attempt suicide seven or more times over the course of fifteen or so years.  Thankfully, she did not succeed.  And you know, every time was just as bad for me as the time before.  I was lucky enough to have emotional and financial support (insurance) throughout those years, but I have just survived the past two years without any medical insurance for anything and I pray every day that those of us who need help can find it.  I have a couple of chronic illnesses that require medical monitoring and many medications, and now I have many outstanding bills and I know firsthand what it's like to have to choose between buying medicine or food.  I also easily slip into heavy depressions and am considered at risk, but I stay focused on God and so far have not gotten too low to ask for help. 

  I just want you all to know that someone (me) is out here full of sympathy and understanding, praying every day for al of us.  Thanks for listening.

 
October 13, 2008, 1:57 pm CDT

10/15 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: s1l22g65

How dare you say that a suicidal person is at a "pity party!"   Have YOU ever been suicidal? Having made a statement like just "pick herself up and have a wonderful life," I doubt it.  For your information, Clinical Depression and Bipolar Illness take away your ability to just get over it.  YOU don't know what this person's mental health situation or personal history is, so how can you be so flippant?  Walk a mile in her shoes before you spout your idiotic comments!  "Pity party" -- God that pisses me off!

 

 

I agree. I agree 100%. I've been diagnosed with depression at two different points in my lifetime, and it is anything BUT a "pity party." Believe me, I didn't say anything to anyone about how depressed and worthless I felt, because guess why? I honestly didn't believe that they would GIVE A CRAP. I wasn't looking for pity. I didn't think I even deserved any help, let alone pity. I also tried to kill myself twice. Once by drowning and once by suffocation. Both times failed. And y'know what? I TOLD NO ONE. Didn't think anyone would care. There's some enlightenment for you. Real depression is anything but a damn pity party.

 

The thing that bugs me is that people who really, honestly want to kill themselves, usually don't say anything, and people who actually do just want attention will wave it around like a firecracker. There's a girl on another forum that I go to, who has been telling us almost every time she posts for about a year that she is going to kill herself, yet she keeps coming back each and every single day to tell us that. I stopped believing her a long time ago. However, the last time I heard about someone who really did kill themselves, their friends and family members kept saying "We didn't see it coming. They seemed fine on the oustide."

 

So to reiterate myself, people who truely are depressed and want to die usually don't tell anyone because they honestly feel like no one cares at all.

 

 

 
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