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Topic : 07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

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Created on : Friday, October 10, 2008, 02:51:02 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/15/08) During high-stress times we all seek relief. But some people are unable to find an outlet for their pain, and they resort to the drastic act of suicide. Dr. Phil hosts an honest and open discussion about this serious topic in the hopes of saving lives. His first guest is Eric Steel, director of the controversial film The Bridge. The documentary showcases people taking their lives by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA. Is this a snuff film or does it raise awareness and create dialogue about this devastating epidemic? Then, meet a couple whose friend's last moments were captured in the documentary. You'll be surprised to hear how they feel about seeing his death on film. Next, did you know that more than half of American college students have considered suicide at some point in their lives? Casey, 17, was bound for college and a bright future, but cut her dreams short when she, too, jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. Her parents share their struggles, including why they blame themselves for her death. And, Dr. Thomas Joiner, psychology professor and author of Why People Die By Suicide, talks about a personal loss that inspired him to devote his professional life to suicide prevention. Find out what he says are the three common traits exhibited by some considering suicide. Plus, learn the critical warning signs to watch for that could be the difference between life and death. And, if you or someone you know is considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-TALK. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

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quasi6

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July 31, 2009, 5:52 pm PDT

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Dr. Phil

Please do a show on CBT, and how to use it!

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yesyoucan

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hopeful

July 31, 2009, 9:26 pm PDT

Dr. Phil is LIVE on his new blog & twitter & just posted new messages today!

LIFT OFF:
JOIN THE FUN
Dr. Phil is flying around the world in cyber space on his new BLOG

http://blog.drphil.com/

and on TWITTER

http://twitter.com

Cyber flight plans straight from the heart.
TWITTER HANDLES
@DrPhil
@Robin_McGraw
@JayMcGraw
@EricaMcGraw
@JordanMcGraw
@penninca Dr. Phil Show Producer

TWITTERVERSE
by SEA winging it on a wing and a prayer
@SEAangels14
July 4, 2009

Wandering in Twitterland
I saw Dr. Phil Family and Carla
Speaking tweet and you can too friend

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ruthyb1

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July 31, 2009, 9:36 pm PDT

The film

Why don't we show the film in high schools to really bring out discussion?

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quasi6

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August 1, 2009, 8:08 am PDT

Trying to help

Quote From: flnativegirl

I am glad I was able to watch Dr. Phil today. It is never an easy subject to discuss. I have a wonderful son who confided to me this week that one his friends that he met during a summer mission trip is considering suicide. I asked him to talk to me about and he said that she lives in CA, is a teenager who feels like there is nothing to live for and that she lives in a dangerous neighbor and is often threatened by kids in school that want to hurt her. Living way across the country, all my son has been doing is talking to her and being her friend and as a Christian pray for her. She won't talk with her parents or let anyone know what is happening. It has burdened my heart deeply and I want to provide him help to help her. This is too much for a fellow teenager to bare....for her and my son. I would hate to think that if she does committ suicide, that he would feel quilty. My son's contact with her is via IM.

My son is a wonderful Christian and if any teenager can help, he can but this is big and the girl is trusting him to not tell anyone.

How can I help?

If something were to happen to the girl, the important message that your son must get is that....her suicide had NOTHING to do with him. He may want to re-hash conversations, and ask himself "what did I say that was wrong?"

Trust me, when I tell you that he is trying to help her, and the reasons will not include your son.

I have spoken to two actively suicidal people, and it is a stress filled situation...and I was fully aware that if the deed was completed, I had done my best, and the person made the decision to end his/her life SINGLEHANDEDLY.

The old saying "We're born alone, and we die alone" applies. Suicide is a choice.

The girl is probably humiliated about being bullied. She should go to a school councellor, or her parents and tell them what is going on. Being bullied is degrading...not worth ending a life over.

Swallowing humiliation, and stepping up to the plate can be very empowering. People don't bully confident people.

I hope you can use any part of what I've said to help.

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worryingmom

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worried

August 1, 2009, 9:00 am PDT

What am I to do?

4 months ago, my 19 year old son was living with his 18 year old best friend, My sons friend had been placed on medication for depression 3 months prior to his sucide..there were no warning sign of him gonna take his life..my son was asleep on their couch during the day time, and his friend laid down beside him and stuck a gun into his mouth and pulled the trigger..my son woke up to that! I have had lots of emotions thru this, angry because I feel he took apart of my son with him and because my son will never be the same..I hurt for my son and for the family of this boy daily. My son is in the National Guard and has been for 2 years prior to this, it has only been 4 months and my son is just now finally sleeping by himself again and able to be alone again. He refuses to take any meds to help him sleep or talk to very many ppl about this, afraid that someone will prescribe him meds like they did his friend..he truely believes that is what caused his friend to commit sucide, the medications that he had been put on 3 months earlier. I know that there are several emotions that people have to go thru to get thru this, but I don't think anger will ever be an emotion that my son will get to..He is not angry at his friend at all, his is angry that he doesn't have him anymore, but I fear that if he doesnt go thru all the emotions that he will never be able to move forward. Life for my son is pretty much a daily struggle, ups and downs..good days, bad days..good days are getting more and more..but I fear that some day that this may all become to much for him to handle..he has talked to military counslers, and they finally got him past the " I wanna know WHY" stage...but we seem to be stuck there...Today is his friends birthday, my son has driven 3 hours to his friends gravesite to visti with him for his birthday..I, feel that that may have not been a good move for him to do, but he felt it was necessary..I just ask for prayer for my son as well as his friends family...this has taken a traumatic toll on our family..If beg, if anyone is thinking about sucide..please seek help..You don't know the effect you are having on the ppl that love you for the rest of their lives...

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worryingmom

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August 1, 2009, 9:09 am PDT

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: lauribuns

Apparently you have never suffered from depression or for that matther any other illness.. And you must also be a saint who has never done anything wrong. Depression is an illness and trust me people do not like feeling like taking their lives.. Would God like you any less if you had another diesase. We all make promises to God, and hate dissappointing Him. We just have to do our best and that is all He asks of us.

4 months ago, my sons 18 year old roommate commit sucide by lying down beside my son while he was asleep and pulling the trigger..My son has asked me many times since then if I thought his friend went to heaven or hell for his actions. I don't know the "correct" answer per say..but I have told my son, that I believe that GOD knew that his friend was sick and knew that he didn't know what he was doing. That is all I can really come up with to tell him..I do believe that what I have told him is true..but for my sons friend and his where abouts after taking his life, I question it myself a little bit..how are we to know? I know that some religions tell us that if we take our own lives then we are doomed to hell..but GOD is the all knowing GOD, he has to know that people that do this, are not themselves and don't really know what they are doing.

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sanjuangal

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Cheerful

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August 1, 2009, 9:12 am PDT

bridge suicide

I watched this show for a second time and still have the same feelings. I wake up almost everyday wanting to end my life. I'm not crazy - just alone and scared and old and have an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. This makes no sense - I know there are options. I just too overwhelmed to find them. I don't speak to anyone about this though I have family. They don't need to hear it nor probably do they want to. My son is a paranoid schizophrenic and my daughter battles depression and trichotillomania, etc. and me - well I've always been depressed. I wish Dr. Phil would do a show on aging - I NEVER thought I would be where I am today at 65. I don't want a hand out - just a shoulder to lean my head on. What scares me most about me is that thinking of my kids used to be my deterrent. Now I don't care how they would feel - it's not enough anymore. I have managed to get through 65 years but I am so tired. I have not seen my 3 daughters or my 12 grandchildren in 3 years. Getting older isn't suppose to be this hard.

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worryingmom

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August 1, 2009, 9:16 am PDT

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: redfeathers

I agree. I agree 100%. I've been diagnosed with depression at two different points in my lifetime, and it is anything BUT a "pity party." Believe me, I didn't say anything to anyone about how depressed and worthless I felt, because guess why? I honestly didn't believe that they would GIVE A CRAP. I wasn't looking for pity. I didn't think I even deserved any help, let alone pity. I also tried to kill myself twice. Once by drowning and once by suffocation. Both times failed. And y'know what? I TOLD NO ONE. Didn't think anyone would care. There's some enlightenment for you. Real depression is anything but a damn pity party.

The thing that bugs me is that people who really, honestly want to kill themselves, usually don't say anything, and people who actually do just want attention will wave it around like a firecracker. There's a girl on another forum that I go to, who has been telling us almost every time she posts for about a year that she is going to kill herself, yet she keeps coming back each and every single day to tell us that. I stopped believing her a long time ago. However, the last time I heard about someone who really did kill themselves, their friends and family members kept saying "We didn't see it coming. They seemed fine on the oustide."

So to reiterate myself, people who truely are depressed and want to die usually don't tell anyone because they honestly feel like no one cares at all.

This just happened to my son, 4 months ago..he is 19 and his 18 year old roommate said nothing about taking his life..and then 4 months ago, my son go woke up to the gun going off, where his friend laid down beside him and pulled the trigger..His friend had said nothing of sucide, as a matter of fact 45 mins before he killed himself he had woke my son up and asked if he wanted to go out to eat at Red Lobster later on that evening??

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worryingmom

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August 1, 2009, 9:37 am PDT

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: beki345

How lucky for you that you have the ability to feel "sad" for another person, but saying that her daughter is at a "Pity Party" proves that you are disingenuous and judgmental. Until you have ever experienced the pain of severe depression, don't EVER presume to understand it or call someone else suffering from it having a "Pity Party!" The pain of depression is stronger and more unbearable than anyone could ever verbally describe, which is why so many people take their own lives.

I have lived on that border more times than I can count, I'm just getting through one of my more difficult times right now. I'm fortunate to have a good counselor and caring family to get me through, even though family is the root of my problems. To hear someone like you say that I've been having a "Pity Party" makes me want to vomit. Do you think a person chooses to live in deep despair, feeling unloved and unwanted? Do you thank ANYONE wants to be unhappy and hopeless? Do you think a person would easily choose death over life? What is wrong with you? Try to understand that the pain a person feels inside is so great that death feels like a better solution to a suicidal person. The causes of such pain are very deeply rooted, so don't presume to know or understand what it takes to get to that point unless you've been raped, molested, victim of a crime, deeply traumatized by something or someone.... any number of things. Chronic pain can cause many people to not want to go on living, pain can be an unbearable thing and Dr.s cannot cure everything. Heartache can make some people reach the point of no return when matched with any of these other things, not to mention loneliness. And not ALL sisters (or brothers, family members) are there for people, wake up!

Also, just a reminder, "God" is not a person, "God" is an idea. People interpret "God" in all kinds of ways. To a person who has been left behind in every way possible, it is not always possible to look to "God" for hope. Be thankful that your life has been as fortunate as it has been, but be more understanding of others who have been dealt a far worse hand in life. Don't judge, you never know what tomorrow brings.

Saying a prayer for you right now..God Bless

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cadescove99

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Mellow

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August 1, 2009, 10:47 am PDT

07/31 The Bridge Controversy - Tragic Choice

Quote From: cheryllynnalyn

No one has the right to film the last moments of these poor souls.

My thoughts exactly. So glad I'm not the only one who thought this film was done in very poor taste. Did they have nothing better to do than film people jumping to their deaths?

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