I've been working for a year with a therapist to overcome my depression and hoarding issues. He had me examine my feelings:REALLY get in touch with them, when ever I went to get rid of something. I also spent a LOT of time reflecting upon what it was about the magazines and books, newspapers, ect.. which made me want to accumulate them. I thought it out this way. Everything written in them was potentially something I was interested to find out, but realistically, I had no time to go through them. At one point, I kept over ten years of old magazines. I was finally forced to clear out that room of all contents, including tons of old mail. I really got to a point where I realized that all the information in those publications was really OLD news! If I needed to find it out, I could access the articles online or from any local ibrary microfiche. That is IF I could remember something specific about them that I wanted to research. So, I was very PROUD and felt good after I was finally able to toss them all!
Now, about those sentimental things, like old cards and letters: I have ONE box filled with hand written letters from friends and family down through the years. I have had one very special friend for over two decades whose missives I have gathered all together in one box to save. This took months of going through boxes filled with "important" and mundane and JUNK mail and old papers. I brought myself up on an accountability issue regarding saving this stuff. If what you are saving is so sacred to you, then it should be kept in a place where it can be found and made special. NOT mixed in with the mundane and junk you can't seem to get to a garbage bin! So, I made an effort to sort those things out pretty succesfully a few years ago.
My journey was in stages... which I believe anyone's recovery from hoarding has to be. It can't all be accomplished or "fixed" overnight. A website I found also have given me some perspective on my problems and people like me. It is called www.squalorsurvivors.com. There is lots of valuable information as well as community support. Check it out!
So, I was forced from a government subsidized duplex I lived in for 15 1/2 yrs because of my and my ex husband's accumulation of junk. We were essentially evicted, without all the legal proceeding. I was able to find another subsidized apt in a high rise building for myself and my 4 children last summer, and moved there in late July. I left tons of junk in basement of the duplex, mostly my ex's accumulation of crap. The housing authority charged me over $1200. for clean-up and hauling 6 truck loads to the dump!
I mid Sept, the manager at my new apt came in to inspect and went ballistic because I had not unpacked numerous boxes and had "so much stuff" in the apt. I was told I had 10 days to vacate the unit. She even went so far as to call the fire department who wrote up a code violation and the Department of Social Services who tried to charge me with child neglect. After all that hassle and the risk of losing my kids, I realized what was MOST important to me. I packed up the very bare minimum, stored in a 5 X 10 storage unit, which I didn't even FILL! I walked away from everything else there. A lifetime of accumulation, all the furniture, except my king size bed and just tons of ...... JUNK! I didn't even save any dishes or kitchen goods.
We rented a car from Enterprise and drove 1655 miles across country to start a new life in a new city and state. My car broke down right before I was going to leave and I had to leave it behind too. LET me tell you! I have been SO happy since making this change! I used to have so much anxiety around all that stuff, getting rid of it, what to do about it, facing eviction TWICE in one year because of it.... SO much trauma! Now, I just feel free! Sure there are things I think about, which I will never see again, but the reality is that I can always get more. What is really most meaningful in our lives? The junk which holds us hostage to high rents, or housing costs, or storage fees? Or keeps us from family and friends, having so much chaos in our homes we are alienated from others? Think about your priorities in your life. And make your decisions about that stuff from there.
What ever your fear, trust that you can and will be fine without the junk in your trunk! The things in your environment do NOT define WHO you are! Don't let them hold you back from blessings and freedom either!
If I can do it, YOU CAN too! Baby steps and one day at time. Celebrate your small victories of daily recovery. And take good care.
Much love,
R
Hoarding is a highly emotional issue that may seem horrifying to some, but for others, it’s a complicated and difficult struggle. When Nancy first appeared on the show, her home was so cluttered that her kids couldn’t get into their bedrooms, there were multiple refrigerators jammed with spoiled food, and she even had a second house that was uninhabitable because it was so chock full of junk. After canceling on 1-800-GOT-JUNK three times, Nancy finally allowed the cleaning crew to remove some of the mess. Find out why the experience was so traumatic for her. Then, Dr. Frank Lawlis, chairman of the Dr. Phil Advisory Board, and Dr. Steven Kanter, an expert on hoarding-related issues, have been working closely with Nancy. Has she made progress in overcoming her fears? Plus, Nancy says her boyfriend, Bob, has been drinking heavily and creating havoc in the household. You won't believe what Nancy and her friend, Randi, captured on video. And, don’t miss Dr. Phil’s surprise for Nancy!
