Topic : 06/03 Virtual Chaos

I am Donna, and i play EverQuest and i tell you what  i think. I been playing for over 4 yrs. EQ helped me though a bad time in mylife. When i had no one to talk to i found one person that did, i meet him in real life after a yr and half, and now he is my light of my life, we got married June 7,2008. I am one of the Guild leaders of one of the Guilds along side him. We do have a life out side the game we work full time, we watch movies and take walks and still play EQ togather and when we have enough we get off and spend time , you got to know when to get off and walk away. In EQ i am Known as Mother of the Shield, and the ones in our guild see me that way. I tell you one of the things i done to help a young girl, she ask me something she didnt know how to handle it. She wanted to know what i though about it. This is what she asked me. She said she knew this guy he wanted to take her to a hotel and she realy didnt want to , she said he was trying to make her go, she has never been with a man. I told her, to follow her heart. if she didnt want too , dont have too,  just not ready, DONT!! it is up to you, you have your life for that you need to get your life the way you want it.. And if  he cant wait so be it , he not good enough for you.

 Then she told me ty Mom i tell him if he dont like it , GET LOST !!

 So you see in EQ , good things does happen!!!

 

 

 

Your right! Brandon is a very smart kid with alot of common sense. Just like my other boys.
CPS? Are you kidding me? 
Seriously grow up!

Come on, this is Dr. Phil. Do you think this show's audience can actually raise children by themselves?

And to the mom that's kid committed suicide: He didn't do it because of Everquest. The game is bad, but I don't think its bad enough to drive a kid to suicide.

 The video game is not to be blamed. Its just a form of entertainment like watching sports, exercising, or even scrapbooking.
Addiction to the game is a result of the individual person's personality. Some players become addicted, others can play for a few hours and not play for days. A person with an addictive personality will become addicted to something, no matter what that 'something' is. Do you know people who exercise obsessively? Why does no one confront them or blame exercise for their addiction? Suddenly people spend all their time doing something foreign or 'immature' and it's a bad thing. Do people get mad at parents who come home, sit down, and watch tv for hours before going to sleep? Blame the person, not the source.

We can't use the game as a scapegoat for what is really wrong with a person. Take the game out of the equation and discuss the addiction in itself.
Don't say, "the game made my son kill himself." It was NOT the game. Your son was obviously in a bad mental state. Why didn't you stop the problem before it became too late?
Don't just unplug the game and tell the kid that it's stupid. Talk to your child/husband/whatever about how his behavior is concerning you. Don't argue--DISCUSS. Yelling and blaming don't solve the problem. DISCUSSING solves problems in a positive way. Arguing hurts relationships, makes people angry and perhaps makes the negative behavior worse. Consider visiting a counselor or therapist about the problem. Be positive with your concerns. You'll ensure a better response and a better solution to the problem.

Furthermore, these video games are for teens and adults. There are 'ratings' on the games--T, M, AO--telling you who the game is designed for. Don't let your young child play the game. Don't complain about mature content in mature games. It is not the job of the government or the game owners to monitor what information is accessed by your children. It is YOUR responsibility to censor what is allowed into your house. Don't blame others for your own bad parenting.

Thanks everyone for your emails, blog comments and forum posts! It's been such an amazing day so far. As far as I'm concerned, today could not have happened without the love and care of God, my wife, my family, my church, my doctor/counsellor, friends and the great people at Online Gamers Anonymous.

I just want to acknowledge everyone who's stepped in to support and encourage me over the past nine months. Quitting an 80 hour per week addiction is not easy. It's not something that can be done overnight, and I certainly didn't do it all by myself!

Best wishes, love and prayers to everyone who's dealing with this in their own lives; hopefully you can find some encouragement in what you saw and heard today. Yes, you can break free and reclaim your real life!

Brad

www.exgamer.net

Honestly, you selfish wives will find any reason to complain about your lot in life, won't you?  I'm a happily married woman who also plays World of Warcraft (as well as several offline games) with my husband.  We play together, we spend time together - both in the virtual and real worlds - and are able to accomplish goals we set together.

Rather than being so condescending and selfish about what your husband does with his time, why not actually try to share that time with him?  Don't insist that he always bend to your mighty will, do a little work and try to experience his pastimes and pleasures with him.  Experience life together, rather than making him an unwilling tag-along in the life you perfectly design.

Families that play together, stay together.

It still sickens me that the Shawn Woolley situation is used as an example of the "horrors of Video Games".   An epileptic, ADD, schizoid, depressive, who was, as his own mother admits, off his medication for weeks leading up to his death, with no real contact from the outside world, mom included, found in near-unsanitary conditions on death is not a picture of a person warped by video games, its a picture of a troubled guy off medicines that were needed to keep his brain functioning.

As someone working on a PhD in Abnormal Psychology, who happens to play WoW (and EQ when the Woolley situation happened), it disgusts me that "professionals" see this as the fault of anyone but himself and, frankly, his mother. 


The media does a wonderful job of creating a stigma around video games, and generally shows none of the multitude of positives.  Obsessions and Compulsions are bad, bad, bad when it involves online media!  Its not "social!"!!

More people died from swimming in their backyard pools, in the time it took me to write this
 post than have died, total, from anything you could loosely relate to video games.

Tragedy, I say.

If I wasn't gaming, I was angry, all I wanted was to get back to my computer and play the game, WoW.  Yea, World of Warcraft, I have seen my friends and my own relationships ruined over that game.  I have seen families broken up over that game.  And alot of other MMO's are in this boat.  I have seen friends nearly lose their minds and commit suicide.  Those games as far as I am concerened are the spawn of the devil.  They have no end to them, so you always feel as if you need to get better.  It's too bad that people cannot control themselves.  I finally realized my own addiction after going and buying a $3500 XPS Laptop.  It was a great puchase but now all I use it for is facebook, email and chatting.  What a waste!  Ill never go back, iv even told my new girlfriend if I ever started again, to threaten to leave me. 

Sometimes is takes a kick to realize how addicted you really are!

Dr.Phil I am a mother of two and a wife. My husband got me into on-line games back when we were  dating and it is a hobby of ours. We play in moderation and our children do not suffer. They are smart girls who know their mom and dad love them. I don't mind if my husband plays MMOG at least he is at home and not in a bar getting drunk or whoring around I know what he is doing and who he is with. My husband works a 3rd shift job 12Hr. shifts he is very successful at what he does and he always takes time out for his family. I also play at night while the girls are sleeping when my husband is working and my housework is done and our bills are paid. Like I said before you can play these games in moderation and you can have a life.

These games are not bad it all in how you look at things.

I am now divorced from a man/child who spent 80 hours a week playing World of Warcraft.  He would do anything to play this game.  He would get up at 12 and spend all day playing WHILE I WAS AT WORK saying he was looking for a job but was playing the game.  I would come home from work and we would eat dinner together and then he was back on the game unitl 5-6 AM.  I would ask him to spend some time with me and he would say i was nagging...well...he met a femail "character" on the game and is now in reality living with her..  I divorced him and am now in a wonderful relationship! he does not even know what a game is on the computer....LADIES.....YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS!!  in case you don't know...there is a support group....www.gamerwidow.com    it helped me to know i was not alone but also to realize that this probably wont get better for you.  My husband was given an ultimatim...me or the game.  and he chose the game.  And i would not waste one more minute on the men in your lives who are playing this game.