Topic : 06/03 Virtual Chaos

I was eagerly anticipating the program about gaming addiction yesterday to find ideas how to help my son with his excessive online gaming. I was disappointed that the sow featured a look at the problem but hardly addressed ideas on how to deal with it. Other than watch your younger children (for prevention). It seamed to me almost the whole hour was spent describing some severe situation. Dr Phil seamed to be saying just stop playing"...yet I don't think he would give such limited advice to a drug addict or alcoholic. Where do you begin? I really need some concrete answers...but where do you begin. Dr Phil.....PLEASE do a follow-up program with some specific ideas.

My son has cut down a lot now he has a job and goes to school so lack of time to actually play has helped. He says it's just another form of entertainment like watching TV. Could this be true if done in moderation? Or is it like an alcoholic..one drink (half hour playing) and you are right back in it?

BTW he is married and I want to support him and my dil from afar and direct her especially to some practical ideas.

I am going to read some of the other posts in the hope others have ideas that have worked.

Hi, for those who have just arrived at this amazingly busy forum, my name is Brad. I was a guest on this episode. If you have a moment, I'd like to invite you to read my full story of addiction on my blog:

http://exgamer.net/blog/?p=106

I also have a new podcast at the following RSS feed location:

http://exgamer.net/blog/?feed=podcast

Rather than duplicating everything from my blog, which is now three months old, I thought I'd just give you the links and suggest you visit.

Most of the comments on the show have been intelligent and helpful. Mainly I'd like to say that those of us who have struggled with this issue are sincere in our desire to see people game in a balanced way, if that is possible. I have no particular axe to grind against the gaming industry, but I am concerned that people develop good communication within their key relationships about the risks of excessive game play. I think this is going to grow into a serious public health issue if not properly addressed by parents, spouses and family members of compulsive gamers, and of course by the players themselves.

Finally, I think it is high time the medical profession at large begin to take this issue seriously. We're well into the 21st century, and the Internet has captured more and more of our leisure time to the point that we should be concerned about the potential for serious addiction issues such as we have discussed in this forum.

Thanks everyone, for your support and interest in this issue.

Brad

www.exgamer.net

Dear Dr. Phil,

Thank you for the way you help people through your show.  I am especially grateful that you are doing a show about online gaming addictions.  I have a 38 yr. old son who has been addicted for over four years now.  His life is completely shattered because of his addiction.  His marriage of nine years disolved, he hasn't worked for four years, and he has no life behond his computer game, World of Warcraft.  He is in complete denial that he has any problems other than depression, which I believe was brought on by his excessive gaming habit.  My son has a masters degree and was a successful manager of a huge corporation before he got hooked to online gaming.  He is not the person he used to be!  I am so grateful for the help, advise and support I have received  form the group, Olganon.  People, including the medical community, don't understand how destructive this addiction is to the people caught up in it and how it affects their family.  I trust your program will give the much needed knowlege and attention about this devastating affliction.

God bless you Dr. Phil!

The show depicted World of Warcraft as some horrible game which destroys lives.  Really?  I have read through many of these posts/replies.  It seems as if many of the "gamers" are affected by some type of mental disorder or depression.  In my opinion (I am no expert) these people who let this game ruin their lives are going to have their lives ruined no matter what unless they have received some type of assistance in dealing with what is really wrong with them.  These are the ones who need mental/emotional help for some problem(s) that they are burying and not dealing with.   Certain people get obsessed with a variety of things to keep their minds off of other things that are bothering them.  I just don't see how people are blaming World of Warcraft/EQ or any other game.  There are people who knit all day, people who make crafts all day, people who read all day.  Why aren't these people being targeted?  These people have the same problem.  From my point of view, many of the gamers you guys are talking about seem to be lacking self-esteem and confidence.  They play the game to gain this from people whom they don't know in "real life".  If the time played is causing marital problems, then look and see what problems existed in the marriage before the game.  I am sure that you will find some for no marriage can exist without some problems, whether they be major or minor.

I personally love World of Warcraft.  I met my boyfriend playing it.  He is a teacher who gets up every morning and goes to work as do I.  We spend $15 a month each to play.  The game is a huge part of our social life.  We could spend easily spend over $50 a night going out to a movie and to dinner or going out to a club.  We prefer to stay home and play the game.  We do go to see movies, plays, etc.  I feel as if my guildies are like a second family and many have grown to become really close friends of mine.  I talk to them throughout the day and many know more about me than people I know in "real life".  There is a difference between a hardcore raider and a casual player.  A hardcore player/raider plays the game competitively to see what content can be conquered preferably before anyone else.  A casual player logs on when he/she wants and plays for awhile and then logs off not worried about beating others to the punch if you will.  The hardcore raiders are the ones who will play the game everyday for hours on end.  The reason they do this is because they have joined a guild who expects them to be on so many days/hours a week in order to raid.  If they do not, then they usually are removed from the guild and join a casual guild.

My guild is a mix of both.  We do not punish people for not being online, but we do expect them to be on as much as possible during raid times.  If we have kids in the guild, we encourage them to do their homework and keep up their grades.  I always tell them school before raids.  "Real life before WOW".  My guildies know they can go out with their spouse and kids and not get chastised over it.  I guess what I am trying to get across is that the people who play wow need to know how much time they are going to spend on the game and join a guild that matches their playing schedule.  This will make spouses, friends, etc. happy due to the fact that you can set aside days for family days, etc.

I have met many people who have met online playing WOW.  They have gotten married and have had kids.  Most of the time, these people reduce the amount of time they play, but they do still play when they can.  Now, don't get me wrong, I have also seen people get divorced over the game.  It does consume a huge part of your life and time.  I always tell people to get their spouse to play and when they do, they usually like it.  I think as in anything in life people need to be in the right state of mind in order to control their gaming.  If they aren't, then they will fall down that slippery slope of depression no matter if it's gaming or any other obsession.

Many people have had their confidence built by playing the game.  The game is not "evil" by any means.  I have guildies who are ADD, Agoraphobic, who have Turrets.  We treat them no differently because of these handicaps.  We all have handicaps in my opinion.  I have not met anyone who is perfect.  WoW is a place to escape and not be judged because of imperfections.   It is a place to make friends and possibly build relationships that last a long time.  It is a place that can be calming.  You can just sit around and fish if you want to.  You can run around and pick herbs (flowers/plants).  You can just fly around looking at scenery.  You can just stand in the middle of town and talk to people.  You can ....have fun!