Topic : 06/03 Virtual Chaos

He is shutting you out.  For a man to turn to ANYONE OR ANYTHING but his wife is wrong!  I would highly suggest a counselor that specializes in online and/or sex addictions.  As I mentoned in my previous post, you are living with a roomate.  You have to look at your vows.  Will he go to church with you?

 

I would try whatever I can to get him back to reality.  The two of you are worth it.  Your marriage is worth it.

 

If this is going on at home,what is he doing at work?  Really play detective and see what you are dealing with.  Any strange charges on credit cards, porn, etc.  You have to see what kind of beast you are fighting.

 

My prayers are with you.

I agree, gaming is/can be an adicction like alcohol, drugs and so on.  If you think about it anything you do you feel you can't stop doing is an addiction. It doesn't have to be drugs/alcohol only, it can be, like you said shopping, eating, hoarding.

 

That's really interesting what you said about the high amount of dopamine that are released in the brain.  I didn't know that.

True,

 

I could either stay left out or share an activity he is into...which I did.  I am glad that we can share that together.  Anything can be an addiction, food, chocolate, booze, etc.  It is the person choosing these things and allowing it to consume their life.  There is nothing wrong with gaming.  Too many people do it and are great people and have wonderful lives.  It is up to the individual.  Liz who was on the show about her son, Shawn blamed the gaming mfg's for his addiction and death.  She knew he had problems months before he died and nothing to intervene and get him help.  I question the fact if she needed someone or something else to blame so she does not feel guilt.

 

We are all accountable for what we do in our lives.  We can go down the right path or choose the wrong path and suffer the consequences.

I am so deathly tired of all the negative stereotypes about adult people who enjoy playing video games.  Not ALL adult game players are lazy, stupid, immature, unemployed,or irresponsible! I'm 34 and I have enjoyed video games nearly all my life.  But I am a responsible person who lives in my own appartment where I do my own housecleaning, take care of my pets, do my own shopping and enjoy other hobbies.

I have been told that I am intelligent and I enjoy reading and learning, I make crafts and draw pictures.  I know some people develope an unhealthy addiction to video games but that doesn't mean nobody should  be allowed to play them. PS I also stay away from games that are full of violence and other disturbing themes.

Well, that's about it. Time to go play Neopets! :-)

The woman sounded like she was condescending.   Maybe that was the reason why her husband got into video games because he felt like he need an outlet to escape that.  Sorry, I didn't make that clear, however, if you're feeling guilty and wondering what you did wrong, that doesn't mean you should go and start taking it out on other people.  Frankly, I don't give any type of care to what your going through or your situtation.  If that spouse in your life is playing games like no tommorow then maybe you should take a little bit of time to look at yourself in the mirror.  Cheap shots?  I think not.  I believe you're just sensitive because of something that YOU did wrong.  --shrugs and smirks--

Gonna have to say with all the posts about "gaming addiction" this has to be the one i appreciate the most. Everything she has stated in this is true in the most absolute sense. You can become addicted to anything in this world sex, drugs, movies ect.. and yes if your wondering i am a gamer...has my life been ruined by mmorpg's...no. Will it be? No. It depends on the person, just like everything. But Too be honest....compared to other horrifically violent video games....ex. Grand Theft Auto and the whole horde of games out there that are similiar to it, world of warcraft should be the least of y'alls worries. If i had children ill tell u i would be alot more at ease them playing world of warcraft alot...than playing games like grand theft auto...basically teling them that killing people is alright, or even movies for that matter. If you get addicted to something, it is your own fault and thus your own responsibility to fix the problem. Just like with smoking..there are steps to getting rid of the addiction...but someone else cant do it for you...you are the one that has to. Personally i play mmorpg's....not because they are a waste of time...like most people who have zero experience with video games think. I do it because it's a hobby of mine and i enjoy it, and you know what? that's all that matters. Am i addicted to it? no i am not...i do it because i enjoy it and it makes me happy. Everyone has something they do for a hobby that they themselves enjoy and thus get their own self-gratification out of it...and yes there are some who have hobbies that do take it overboard and when they realize that..it is up to them to fix it. I speak from personal experience with in the past having been addicted to video games...i remedied the problem and fixed it..do i still play? yes. am i addicted? not anymore. I understand that the point of this post is how video/computer games can destroy lives, wreck marriages, put u in an extreme ammount of debt, but im just backing up this womans statement and defending her post against anyone who decides to flame it. The whole debate on "Virtual Chaos" is portraying video games as some evil corporation to destroy people...it's not the games that destroy people it's the people playing them that take it too far and destroy people. And im sure you have all heard the saying...."Gun's dont kill people, people kill people."

I believe that this comment sums up the whole argument in a nutshell.  I agree with you on all levels.  Thanks for the great post.

I'm basically adressing my next post to all those out there that get the impression that it's the games fault...and the game is the reason X person got their life all screwed up, their marriaged wrecked...or in some cases suicide. Ground breaking new's people....It's the person who's behind the computer/tv screen playing the game...it has nothing to do with the game they are playing. Everyone in this world is different but stating that mmorpg's/video games are evil and they corrupt a person is a false statement. It's not only games u could relate this too, like i have mentioned in my previous post and in other posts before mine, You can get addicted to anything. Please tell me this, would u rather have your young child be addicted to playing a game where it teaches them that killing is a good thing, or let them watch movies filled with adultery and drugs...would u rather them be addicted to that? Or. would u rather have them be addicted to a game that has the ability to broaden and sharpen your mind and skills. think about that one. I wil also state something on a more personal level with the statement Dr. Phil made about us gamers=losers? Care to explain to me the logic on how that is supposed to help people? that sounds more like an insult to me. I mean instead of trying to give those people out there that ruin their lives because they get too carried away with something constructive criticizim....He calls us losers? hmm, interesting. Also on a personal note, and as i have mentioned before i am a non-addicted gamer that plays world of warcraft. You know what i play it for one reason, Self-Gratification and for a sense of accomplishment. The main goal of this mmorpg is to work together with other people to reach your designated goal, and after all the hard work u put into it and after u reach that goal it fills u with happiness and a sense that u accomplished something not many other people can do as a team. You can even relate this to your work environment or to anything in real life. Let's take for example a construction job for a hospital is there only 1 person that is going to build the entire hospital? by all means no, there is a team of experience individual's in various fields that use their unique skills and experience to benefit one another to reach their final goal...in this case being a fully built hospital. Gee i wonder what playing wow could teach a young child...especailly when they are considering their career. To sum it all up everyone your working together with in world of warcraft has a unique roll that they play...and if they dont perform to the best of their ability...they will not reach their goal as a team...so it teaches people to be able to sharpen their skills to think on their feet better...what to do in a certain situation and act with the best actions as fast as they can effectively and efficently. Im also not saying that their will not be people out there that take it overboard and ruin their lives because of it. Due to the fact that we are not perfect human beings....stuff like this will always happen, it depends on the person. Also, as another note....If U honestly need to listen to an old bald arrogant geezer tell u what to do in a situation where your doing too much of something to the point where it becomes unhealthy, then sorry but i feel really bad for you. It's only common sense where if your doing too much of something that it is unhealthy for you and hurting yourself and others that well, u stop u look at your situation and u remedy it. Just like smoking, it's unhealthy for you and when some people realize that it's bad for them and they want to stop doing it what do they do? they take steps to stop smoking ex. nicotein patches/gum ect...Well i think i have made my point. Believe me i do feel for those who have addiction issues to the point where it puts themselves and their family...and even in some extemely rare cases..their lives in jeopardy. I really do hope that those people fix their situation and their family problems get resolved. As i conclude let me leave you all with one last thought....Out of all the sick and perverse things in this world that your children or your loved ones could be doing, I think mmorpg's and video games should be the least of your worries.

Unfortunately I also am a game widow. Thought I was the only one. Just learned the term.  My husband's game of choice is Diablo ...WITH HIS MOTHER and many other games on his"PS3". We have a 2 year old son and are living in a nightmare. Counseling has helped some. Parents and fiances don't let this consume their lives. Gamers don't let life pass you by. You can't get the real moments back.