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Topic : 05/27 What Do You Fear?

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Created on : Friday, October 17, 2008, 02:50:14 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/21/2008) Whether it’s the fear of spiders or the fear of dying, fears and phobias can steal your peace of mind and even dominate your life. Meet Kathleen, a mother of three, who says her entire world is built around more than 30 fears that include driving, flying, being alone and taking medication. Her life has gotten so out of control that her two teenagers dropped out of school to take care of her, and her 9-year-old is absent so often, she may follow in their footsteps. Kathleen, who wants to stop being a prisoner to her anxieties, faces many of her fears just to get to Los Angeles to see Dr. Phil. What’s at the root of her paralyzing phobias, and can she take back her life for the sake of her family? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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October 21, 2008, 1:07 pm CDT

10/21 What Do You Fear?

Quote From: wardjunefan

It's one to thing to compromise your own life from silly fears, but when you expect your kids to give up their education to babysit you that is crossing the line! I think Social Services should be involved in this situation. Dr. Phil is right, this woman is getting some payoff to this behavior. It's all in her head and the worst part is everyone is coddling and enableing her! Her husband needs to put his foot down and tell those kids to get back to school and tell his wife to grow up!
If Kathleen keeps her girls out of school too long, they'll be forced to repeat their current grade. Putting the oldest girl's graduation off for a year. While she's 16 and, in some states, no longer required to be in school, her sister is only nine. If Kathleen keeps her out past the allowed number of days, she could go to jail for it. I know of one woman who let her 14-year-old daughter drop out of school and fled the state to escape arrest.
 
October 21, 2008, 1:11 pm CDT

10/21 What Do You Fear?

Quote From: dianefraser

I dont understand how she can inspect a straw yet lve in a bedroom that is filthy.
To say nothing of the bathroom! Or, the kitchen. Kathleen admitted that she only cleaned it for the camera crew. The only room she actually keeps clean is the living room. So people can come over without knowing what a mess the rest of the house is. But, what if they need to go to the bathroom?
 
October 21, 2008, 1:12 pm CDT

10/21 What Do You Fear?

It looked like a big cop out..  II she did not want to be alone, Have the daughter take her upstairs so she can clean.  All I could think was that she wanted her house cleaned.  Now everybody know what the upstairs looks like..  Poor kids. I do not like spiders, hate snakes, heights, and a few other things. but like other people it is not going to make me like her.
 
October 21, 2008, 1:14 pm CDT

I Can Relate

I am so helped by this show today.  I feel like Dr. Phil was talking to me.  I am so proud that this lady, with all these fears, actually got on that plane.  I know all to well how it feels to be afraid of everything.  Alot of times you feel guilty because of this condition and you feel hopless.  Well today I believe that there is hope for me to.  I'm going to look at the resources and get busy recovering, restoring and taking back my life also. 

 

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen:

 
October 21, 2008, 1:14 pm CDT

Phobias and Fears

I can certainly understand the woman on the show even though she seems much worse than I am.  I have many phobias and fears but not quite that bad.  I don't need someone to be with be at all times but of course I prefer it.  Almost nobody knows about my stuff because I hide it very well.  The only one phobia that I can't hide is the fear/phobia of vomiting (that's my worse one) .  The other ones i've managed to get them under some control with "Rivotril" since 1992.  This started when I was about 19 years old in my then boyfriend (now husband)'s car.  A major anxiety attack.  I thought I was going to die.  The only way I have managed to control this stupid thing is by always telling myself that it's all in my head and if i'm patient enough that this moment will pass, and it always does.  My kids (17 and 19 - boys) are fine.  They don't know anything because I didn't want them to be as (french word is nevroser) as I am.  I didn't want them to be scared of everything like I am.  This is what I can't do.  Go out in clubs (which I don't because i've been married for 23 years, but it would be nice to go out sometimes with my girlfriends), don't go to restaurants very often since I feel like i'm in stuck there for at least an hour or so.  I certainly don't go to the theatre where the space is too big and the noise is too loud and that makes me too anxious.  I barely leave the house if I don't have to - which I would love to do because I have many friends.  I'd love to go out for lunch with my sister or girlfriends once in a while.  I try not to get in my car after dark because this also seems to raise my level of anxiety (don't know why).  I also often think of sickness and death.  Food freaks me out because I never know if it's contaminated and will be recalled (like the beef thing and the cheese thing that just happened here in Canada that killed a few people or made them so sick they probably wanted to die).

I feel like i'm crazy most of the time and trying to hide this is almost as worse as having it.  My husband knows that I have ISSUES, but he doesn't know the extent of my "crazyness!"  He's a down to earth guy and would certainly not understand or even wouldn't stand for that kind of madness, you know what I mean.  I can't stand it!  There are times during the month which are better than others and I don't feel as anxious and can actually go out and shop sometimes and see some friends/family, but mostly i'm a kind of hermit.  People just think i'm hommy (which I am I think).  My hormones have been out of whack for as long as I can remember but I did have a hysterectomy 10 years ago and has become much worse.  I've consulted with doctors and a few therapists and psychs but to no help there.  This situation is so bad that it takes me back to a program you did about suicide about 1 or 2 weeks ago and how committing suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  This concept doesn't really apply to me, because my situation is not temporary, it's lasted for over 23 years!!! I can't keep a job because I always get sick in some way shape or form, migraines, stomach aches (and worse), colds and anything that my smart body can think of throwing my way so I will be unable to go to work.  I just don't know about anything anymore.  I've just lost one good job last week because I had taken 5 days off within a month. BLAH! I bore my own self with this stupidity!!!!!  I wish I could just be normal...

 
October 21, 2008, 1:14 pm CDT

10/21 What Do You Fear?

Quote From: katevitolo

Why didn't the husband contribute to the discussion? How is he affected and what does he think? Why hasn't he tried to get her help? Why is he still there? Are they happily married? Can't imagine they're intimate.
He said he works 12 to 14 hours a day. To escape the drama. Surprized Dr Phil didn't ask him to cut his hours.
 
October 21, 2008, 1:16 pm CDT

10/21 What Do You Fear?

It looked like a big cop out..  II she did not want to be alone, Have the daughter take her upstairs so she can clean.  All I could think was that she wanted her house cleaned.  Now everybody know what the upstairs looks like..  Poor kids. I do not like spiders, hate snakes, heights, and a few other things. but like other people it is not going to make me like her.  Another thing. a grown adult with her feet in the chair.  Her daughter know more then she does.  Mother is a user.
 
October 21, 2008, 1:16 pm CDT

10/21 What Do You Fear?

Why wouldn't I live in the Tate house? Same reason I wouldn't live anywhere else in California. Earthquakes and wildfires.
 
October 21, 2008, 1:18 pm CDT

10/21 What Do You Fear?

Quote From: wardjunefan

It's one to thing to compromise your own life from silly fears, but when you expect your kids to give up their education to babysit you that is crossing the line! I think Social Services should be involved in this situation. Dr. Phil is right, this woman is getting some payoff to this behavior. It's all in her head and the worst part is everyone is coddling and enableing her! Her husband needs to put his foot down and tell those kids to get back to school and tell his wife to grow up!

She didn't EXPECT us to give up our education. I chose to stay home from school because I saw how afraid she was to be home alone. I felt bad, and even when she told me I had to go to school no matter what I would fake sick to stay for her. I'm sure half the time I stayed home from school at the time she didn't even know I was doing it because of her.

I do understand where you are coming from, but it is really hard for her. It's not her fault we dropped out of school, and already my sister is doing better at going. She hasn't missed a day so far this school year and I don't think either me or my brother have gone that period of time without missing a day.

And of course it's all in her head. That's why it's called a mental illness. You are extremely blunt about her situation and it comes off as insulting. My brother and I would refuse to listen to Brent because he's not our real father and I think we've always just had it out for him.

 
October 21, 2008, 1:19 pm CDT

Going through same thing

I am30 years old and have panic attacks. I'm a constant worrier. My family really suffers because I don't let them do anything because I'm always afraid of the bad.  I have seen my doctor and she prescribed me medication, but I'm to scared to take it and when I do I'm sick and down for days. I also don't have medical coverage so I have to pay for everything. That really makes it difficult to get the right care.
 I also have problems with my chest always hurting feeling like my throat is going to swell. I'm always in fear of DIEING or my children dieing. I don't cook and clean like I should but its hard to get up and get the energy to do those tasks. I would love to be able to travel without shaking the whole way there. I would like to just be able to be free of myself and this awful way I feel each day.
 
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