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Topic : 06/02 Forced to Be a Father

Number of Replies: 1737
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Created on : Friday, October 17, 2008, 02:51:47 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/22/08) Once a woman has a baby, the biological father is legally bound to provide financial support for the child. But what should a man do if he discovers he's responsible for a child he didn't know existed? Two years ago, Matt appeared on the show to discuss his court case dubbed "Roe vs. Wade for Men." Since then, Matt's case has been thrown out of court multiple times. And his mom, Diane, says the state has made an example out of her son and destroyed him financially and emotionally. Joining Matt and Diane is Mel Feit, Matt's advocate and director of the National Center for Men, and Gloria Allred, president of the Women's Equal Rights Legal Defense and Education Fund. Don't miss the lively debate that ensues! Next, Nicol says she thought she and her husband, Noel, had the ideal family life with a happy marriage and two children. Her dream shattered when Noel's ex-girlfriend called and requested that he get a DNA paternity test for a baby he never knew existed. Find out how the test results have changed Noel and Nicol’s lives. And, you won't believe what the baby's mother has to say! Then, what happens if a man becomes a sperm donor for a friend and years later she takes him to court for child support? Attorney John Purcell represented a man in a similar case which changed the law in Pennsylvania. And, TV and radio star Jay Thomas was contacted by his biological son 18 years after he was placed for adoption. He shares the story of their meeting. Find out if it's been a smooth reunion for Jay and his child or if they've hit rocky patches. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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June 10, 2009, 8:19 pm CDT

Thank you!

Quote From: efffy_

It is horrifying how penises  have a mind of their own and can have fun without a man's consent or knowledge. Tricking a man into a pregnancy is one of the most ridiculous inane comments I've ever heard. Did the woman pretend to be a train tunnel? CHOO CHOO. Pull a rabbit out of her vagina? Poor poor guy being tricked into believing in invisible condoms. An unwanted pregnancy by men like that really is tragic because it pollutes the gene pool, and there are not enough villages to go around anymore.
I am so happy to see another woman put some of the responsibilty on the woman! Don't get me wrong, I don't think men are innocent or unsuspecting, etc. They knew they were taking a risk, but what about the women that are being just as risky, having sex with men who are more than honest that they don't want children, yet still have sex with them and then act surprised that the men don't want to stick around. Use some common sense women and if you don't have a man that is going to be a real man and take care of his child, then maybe you shouldn't  be having sex with him!
 
June 11, 2009, 5:19 am CDT

Men's Rights

Why does a woman have the "right and/or choice" to decide if she is ready to be a mother but a man doesn't have that same "right and/or choice?!"  She can choose to terminate her pregnancy, even if the man says he will take full responsibility for the child.  Gloria seems to blame men for not accepting responsibility for their biological child.  What about the woman?  If she decides to keep her child, knowing the man she is having sex with does not and is not ready to be a father, then she should not expect anything from that man.  She needs to accept FULL responsibility for that child.  What about the women who have children for their financial gain?  Or who continue to have children so they can get more money from the state they live in?  According to Gloria, all of this is ok and the man should pay for it!  No one disagrees with Gloria that there are millions of children in our country who need to be taken care of by both parents, but many of them chose to be parents and they should accept their responsibilities!  For a woman to wait 2 years to tell a man he has a child is outrageous!  She managed to take care of that child for 2 years, why doe she need help now?  And people wonder why men disappear into thin air?  I feel so bad for the couple who was on your show, it's not fair to them or their children what this woman is doing to them!  When it comes to children, men ALWAYS get the short end of the stick.  I know of a family who is in the same situation as the couple who was on your show, except that woman waited 18 years to tell this man he had a son; sued for child support and got it!  Now his wife works 80 hrs. a week to help keep them from losing their home and support the family they created together, by choice.  He works also, but once his child support is deducted from his pay check, they are left with very little money for the month.  This does not sound, look or smell like equality to me!!!!

 

There are deadbeat moms in our country also.  I don't hear Gloria badgering them and telling them they need to accept responsibility for the child they decided to bring into this world.  Women have been bringing men down for centuries and it looks like it will continue until there are no women left in this world.

 

A Very Frustrated Woman

 
June 13, 2009, 4:21 pm CDT

Woman want Equal Rights..give it to them

First let me say that I believe everytime a man and a woman has sex birth control/contraceptatives should be used unless the ulitmate goal is to have a baby.  However, a woman and a mans responsibility is the same, if a pregnancy occurs they are both responsible. 

 

Having said that woman want equal rights, WE claim that its our body and if we don't want a baby then we can choose to have an abortion, men don't have that choice if a woman chooses to mother a baby he MUST be a father....doesn't sound fair to me.  Especially since there have been times that that man wants the baby and the woman still has an abortion.  I believe that they should make it mandatory for a woman to notify the father of her UNBORN baby when she learns of the pregnancy.  He should have the right to choose whether he wants to be a part of the babies life and if not sign away rights and if she does not want to have a baby I believe she should have the right to sign away her rights to the baby after birth and he should be responsible for the cost of all prenatal care and needs.  I do not believe a woman should be able to have an abortion or give a baby up for adoption without the fathers consent.

 

 

 
June 14, 2009, 4:40 pm CDT

06/02 Forced to Be a Father

Quote From: efffy_

It is extraordinarily simple. The child is carried inside a woman's body which is inviolable. Do you want women held down and forced to have an abortion or to be impregnated? That is what you are advocating. Men need to grow up and take responsibility for their reproductive behaviour. Their choice must be made before they have sex. . . that is just the way it is. Since the beginning of time men have been allowed to procreate without consequence because it was not possible to know for sure who the father was. If you do not want to be tied to a woman with a child for the next 20 odd years keep it in your pants. I am teaching my son to be a man not a whiny idiot that only cares about himself and his bank account.

I don't advocate forcing abortion or pregnancy on a woman at all, but the physical implications simply do mean women have the opportunity to completely rid themselves of all responsibility while men don't.  Rather than doing something ridiculous like impose laws on the woman's body, the equalization can simply be achieved by giving men choices to be involved or not.  I do think the woman is entitled to know this information right away, just as the man is entitled to be aware of the pregnancy as soon as possible.

 

This is a legal system that is supposedly trying to evolve to give individuals the same opportunities regardless of gender.  There are physical barriers but whatever methods can be imposed  Like it or not, since one gender inherently is not obligated to take responsibility, it's utterly ridiculous the other does.

 
June 16, 2009, 12:58 am CDT

no you were not forced to be a father........!!!!!!!!!!!

how can you say you were forced to be a father you new what you were doing when you went to bed with the mothers of your childern just because the women you didn't want having your childern did have your childern dose not give you the right to say that you are a victim in all this you were not raped in to sleeping with these women you made a choice and now you have to live with it how can you say that you didn't basicly know that sleeping with these women that there could be a chance they could get preganat i mean what kind of idoit dose not know that you know what you were doing and you need to stop crying and pay up for what you've done no one feels sorry for you you are just another dead beat dad that dosen't want to take care of kids you make ooopps you got caught get over it and to the mother of the little boy on the show yes your son is a little cry baby boy what kind of women are you what if some man did this to you? you are a very SICK WOMEN to not even be in your grandchilds life your son is a monster you had a very SICK CHILD to do this to his child YES YOU OLD WICTH HIS CHILD AND YOU LET HIM and to the women who's married to the other JACKASS on the show you need to grow up your life isn't so perfact after all the man you married is a PIG GET OVER IT LADY HE HAS A CHILD WITH SOME ONE other then you and YES YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT HE IS NOT A VICTIM IN ALL THIS THE CHILDERN ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASS AND SICNE YOUR MARRIED TO HIM IT IS ALSO YOUR PROBLEM TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT AS WELL THIS IS THE LIFE YOU CHOSE FOR BETTER OR FOR WROST TIL DEATH DO YOU PART NOW WEEP IN IT . 

 
June 16, 2009, 2:46 pm CDT

06/02 Forced to Be a Father

Quote From: butrflykisses

I am so happy to see another woman put some of the responsibilty on the woman! Don't get me wrong, I don't think men are innocent or unsuspecting, etc. They knew they were taking a risk, but what about the women that are being just as risky, having sex with men who are more than honest that they don't want children, yet still have sex with them and then act surprised that the men don't want to stick around. Use some common sense women and if you don't have a man that is going to be a real man and take care of his child, then maybe you shouldn't  be having sex with him!
You didn't read that post closely enough. She actually places no responsibility on the woman. And,seems to hold men in contempt. I have sensed this in attitude in many of her posts.
 
July 14, 2009, 2:43 pm CDT

woman with a vengence

Quote From: antate

First let me say that I believe everytime a man and a woman has sex birth control/contraceptatives should be used unless the ulitmate goal is to have a baby.  However, a woman and a mans responsibility is the same, if a pregnancy occurs they are both responsible. 

 

Having said that woman want equal rights, WE claim that its our body and if we don't want a baby then we can choose to have an abortion, men don't have that choice if a woman chooses to mother a baby he MUST be a father....doesn't sound fair to me.  Especially since there have been times that that man wants the baby and the woman still has an abortion.  I believe that they should make it mandatory for a woman to notify the father of her UNBORN baby when she learns of the pregnancy.  He should have the right to choose whether he wants to be a part of the babies life and if not sign away rights and if she does not want to have a baby I believe she should have the right to sign away her rights to the baby after birth and he should be responsible for the cost of all prenatal care and needs.  I do not believe a woman should be able to have an abortion or give a baby up for adoption without the fathers consent.

 

 

  I am a man who has being paying child support for a very long time.  To ensure that my payments came in I had them take it directly out my check when I was working.  I never even had the chance to see if I would take care of the child without going to court because the mother just tried to get the most by taking me to court even though when she was pregnant and we were'nt even sure it was mine she said she was not going to keep the child but her girlfriends suggested she would get paid by seeking child support and ruin me at the same time.  I am now on disability and have been for atleast 4 years.  I made it so my child would also recieve for as long as I recieve (ssi) disabilty.  I contacted child support and was told all the mother has to do is to let them know she is getting a check from my disability but instead she is trying to collect child support and ssi check.  It is so fustrating as a man because I know I did the right thing by adding her name as a beneficiary of my ssi since I know I am no longer working and she has just taking advantage of the situation.
 
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