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Topic : 06/02 Forced to Be a Father

Number of Replies: 1737
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Created on : Friday, October 17, 2008, 02:51:47 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/22/08) Once a woman has a baby, the biological father is legally bound to provide financial support for the child. But what should a man do if he discovers he's responsible for a child he didn't know existed? Two years ago, Matt appeared on the show to discuss his court case dubbed "Roe vs. Wade for Men." Since then, Matt's case has been thrown out of court multiple times. And his mom, Diane, says the state has made an example out of her son and destroyed him financially and emotionally. Joining Matt and Diane is Mel Feit, Matt's advocate and director of the National Center for Men, and Gloria Allred, president of the Women's Equal Rights Legal Defense and Education Fund. Don't miss the lively debate that ensues! Next, Nicol says she thought she and her husband, Noel, had the ideal family life with a happy marriage and two children. Her dream shattered when Noel's ex-girlfriend called and requested that he get a DNA paternity test for a baby he never knew existed. Find out how the test results have changed Noel and Nicol’s lives. And, you won't believe what the baby's mother has to say! Then, what happens if a man becomes a sperm donor for a friend and years later she takes him to court for child support? Attorney John Purcell represented a man in a similar case which changed the law in Pennsylvania. And, TV and radio star Jay Thomas was contacted by his biological son 18 years after he was placed for adoption. He shares the story of their meeting. Find out if it's been a smooth reunion for Jay and his child or if they've hit rocky patches. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 18, 2008, 10:49 am CDT

Don't trust the women for birth control

I don't really feel sorry for these men to at a later time learn they are fathers and are required to take responsibility.  They should learn to take responsibility for their own fertility from the get go.  If they are going to unzip thier pants they need to make sure that they have adequate birth control on hand.  Don't trust the girl to say she is on the pill or is infertile.  Really, every time the man does it he should have a condom on it.  Although a condom is not 100 percent effective it does offer some degree of protection and may save him from  surprises in the future.  
 
October 18, 2008, 2:28 pm CDT

Fathers

 

Do wish that our educational systems nation wide would actively advise our teenagers

as to their financial responsibilities for the babies they bring into this world.

 

If the boys realized that their future earnings would be affected (amounts indicated clely)  and the girls fface  a financial responsibility as well....perhaps this might be a deterrent to sexual relations.

 

The girls must be advised that the "STATE" might pay for the first child, but no additional

children.

 

Sadly one of my nieces planned to have 5 kids....always getting money and in this case

a new apartment, in order to have the income.  But said income was going to buy

dope and alcohol, and the children ran wild until we went to court.

 
October 18, 2008, 2:44 pm CDT

Forced to Be a Father

 

 

If biological fathers are legally responsible for the children that they make, why are there so many single mothers in America who don't get one dime of child support or anything else?  Men actually believe that just because they have a one night stand and a baby is made, they has no responsible for that child.  And they think that they shouldn't pay child support because the mother does nothing with the money than spend it on herself.  In other words, she just LIVES  IT  UP!!  If men really did have to responsible for the babies they make, they may not make as many.  My daughter's father has no idea how many children he's made, and has just walked off from,and I'm willing to bet that he couldn't even tell you how many times he's been married or divorced.  The law does not hold men legally responsible for the children they make..  Women  get stuck with the children and all the responsibilities that go with them.

 
October 18, 2008, 3:12 pm CDT

It takes TWO people!

Quote From: kaykwilts

I don't really feel sorry for these men to at a later time learn they are fathers and are required to take responsibility.  They should learn to take responsibility for their own fertility from the get go.  If they are going to unzip thier pants they need to make sure that they have adequate birth control on hand.  Don't trust the girl to say she is on the pill or is infertile.  Really, every time the man does it he should have a condom on it.  Although a condom is not 100 percent effective it does offer some degree of protection and may save him from  surprises in the future.  
I agree completely. I can't stand when a man says that the woman "got herself pregnant" or something similar. No, YOU and your disregard for protecting yourself led to an unwanted pregnancy. I had a friend who was dating someone very manipulative and greedy. She confessed to me that she was not taking her birth control and that she was lying to my friend about it. I told him and he said that he shouldn't have to wear a condom because she should be on the pill, and he trusted her. Now they have a one-year-old and he is still wondering where it all went wrong.

Bottom line, if you are ready for the responsibility if it happens, trust your partner's birth control. If you absolutely do NOT want a baby (or std's, if you don't trust your partner) then it is your own responsibility to prevent it.
 
October 18, 2008, 3:19 pm CDT

Nope she gave him a way out in the beginning.

I guess being a woman I'm not of the norm. When she told him that she couldn't get pregnant and was on the pill and than let him not use a condom she set herself up. She gave him the way out. If I was with a man that I told those lies to and than let him have sex with me without a condom well than it becomes my responsibility if I got pregnant. Sorry gals but your fools to even want to be with a man that says its not possible he could become a father right than he's really saying not with you.  I wouldn't have given him the time of day with me.
 
October 18, 2008, 3:24 pm CDT

10/22 Forced to Be a Father

Quote From: kaykwilts

I don't really feel sorry for these men to at a later time learn they are fathers and are required to take responsibility.  They should learn to take responsibility for their own fertility from the get go.  If they are going to unzip thier pants they need to make sure that they have adequate birth control on hand.  Don't trust the girl to say she is on the pill or is infertile.  Really, every time the man does it he should have a condom on it.  Although a condom is not 100 percent effective it does offer some degree of protection and may save him from  surprises in the future.  

Lets say he did use a condom it had a hole in it, the man never knew and now the women gets to come back two years later and nail him. I do not think that is fair at all. What about the womens responsibility she should have told him right away maybe then he could have done something, or they could have discussed abortion or adoption or some alternative. This man had no choice and she took that away.

 
October 18, 2008, 4:45 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show

A Be Doctor Farther Forced Phil To. Did your Dad forced you to be a Father?  Of course not. But I wouldnot-

be a bit surprise if your Dad did forced you to be a Father. See you on Wednesday October 22nd, 2008.-----

Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
October 18, 2008, 4:56 pm CDT

Are you serious?!

Nowadays with all of the STDs around you'd think that people would be smart enough to practice safe sex from the get go.

 

Guys, never ever have sex with some girl without a condom.

 

If she says that she's infertile or on the pill, it doesn't matter. Always wear protection, pregnancy isn't the only thing you try and avoid using a condom. This will not only save your life, from diseases like HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis to name a few, but it will save you from problems down the road...like someone from the past coming back and asking you to take a paternity test.

 

Honestly, it takes two to tango and if you didn't have the forsight to wear a condom you have no one but yourself to blame for your problems. Same thing goes for the mothers in this situation too.

 

The only innocent parties here are the kids that are born into these situations. Not 'mommy' or 'daddy.'

 
October 18, 2008, 6:15 pm CDT

YOU PLAY....YOU PAY!!

I don't feel sorry for any man, young or old who is 'forced to be a father' or forced to be responsible.

If you have sex and a baby is produced........TOO BAD, pay up!

The mother was good enough to bed she's good enough to wed.....is an old saying.

 

If a man doesn't want a baby then wear a condom, have a vasectomy or don't have sex.......simple as that!

 

If you screw someone casually and a baby is produced......whose fault is it? The womans? She often has to be the responsible one while the man walks free. BULLSH*T.

Why should the woman be the only responsible one?

 

I had 2 children out of wedlock before I was 20 and I didn't get child support. I WORKED and I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY CHILDREN.

It was very difficult but I DID IT! My girls are 24 and 26 now and I raised them ALONE.

Their lives would have been a lot better had I had some financial help from their father..and their lives enriched by a father and their fathers family........but it was not meant to be.

 

I was forced to be responsible for MY actions........but the guy walked away free.

 

I would NOT trade a single moment of being a single mother because my daughters love and respect me for all my hard work and the way they were raised. Still I think they missed out on so much and it was not fair to them!

I'm not worried about me, I worked 3 jobs for many years living on 3 hrs sleep a night, not seeing my girls as much as I wanted......I did a bang up job but I worked hard for my girls. They KNOW that.

 

I never talked bad about their father......I figured I didn't have to because his actions would provide them with all the answers to their questions and I was right.

I also knew if I talked bad about him it might backfire on me so I refrained from speaking badly of him.

They are adults now and know the real truth because they witnessed it all.

 

So men, if you're going to play be prepared to pay. You didn't hurt ME.......you hurt MY kids.

For that you'll pay for the rest of your life.

 
October 18, 2008, 7:03 pm CDT

no one is forced to be a father or a mother.

  If everyone would learn to have some sort of morality, it would not even be an issue. With the promiscuity of today, it is no wonder that men are being told down the road that they are responsible. How about all of the abortions performed where the father has no say so. Or the adoptions which are preceeded to with out the knowledge of the father. I know there are a lot of "deadbeat dads" out there, but there are a LOT of even worse 'deadbeat moms". They sleep around with God only knows who, and then want to be martyred, because the father won't help support their child. I know because I have an ex-daughter-in-law, who went to court at every whim that hit her getting more money out of my son, for my to grandsons. What did she do with the money, she drank it away. My two grandsons raised them selves, and are now resentful of their mother, and have no time for her. Which is what she deserves. Fortunately, myself and their other grandmother and aunts and uncles have had enough input to defuse the matter. So don't be telling me how wonderful moms are and how terrible dads are. There is plenty of blame to go around.

 
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