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Topic : 01/20 Dating Double Standards

Number of Replies: 227
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Created on : Friday, October 17, 2008, 02:56:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/24/08) Ladies, what would you do if you had to return to the dating game in your 40s, 50s or even 60s? Dr. Phil’s guests point to a double standard between men and women. Men can date women young enough to be their daughters, while a middle-aged woman who dates younger men is sure to face criticism. Caroline is a 58-year-old grandmother who has been married three times and is still looking for her Prince Charming. She admits to traveling from Monaco to Amsterdam and throughout the States in search of love, often with younger men. Caroline says she even accepted a proposal from a man she met online -- a suitor she has never met in person! Her daughter, Anara, says the problem is not her mother’s age, but that her mom doesn’t act her age. Is Caroline just living life without limits, or is she her own worst enemy when it comes to meeting Mr. Right? Then, Dr. Phil talks to Patti Stanger, CEO of The Millionaire’s Club, an exclusive dating service that caters to wealthy men and women who are looking for love. Find out why Patti says Caroline is heading toward a life of loneliness, and learn her dating tips to increase your chances of finding a mate. And, Anna is only 30, but she says some men already think she’s too old to date! Her friend, Robyn, says Anna's independence turns some men off. Find out what happens when Dr. Phil cameras follow Anna for a night on the town. Plus, meet a divorced mom who says she’s been on the dating scene for 15 years and has yet to find a man her age who wants to commit.. Join the discussion.

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October 24, 2008, 12:47 pm CDT

Dating Double Standards

Why do women feel they need a man to validate them?  I was married for 30 years to a wonderful man and we had a great marriage but this was a long time ago when love and marriage meant something.  I have been a widow for 15 years and am 67 years old.  Because I don't frequent bars or throw myself at men I have not even dated during these 15 years.  I have found that I like myself and spend my time doing things for my family and fellow church members.  This gives me a lot more pleasure than degrading myself by dating just any man whether young or old just to have someone to be with.  I am alone most of the time but am never lonvely because I stay busy and appreciate what God has given to me.  There wouldn't be so many divorces today if we didn't take dating and sex so lightly.  Get smart ladies and realize how good you have it without without a man.
 
October 24, 2008, 12:55 pm CDT

22 years

I am married to a man 22 years my senior, and my life is fabulous.  I am 35, my husband is 57.....we have been married for a year and a half.  I think if it works for you (and trust me, you'll know.....)then it is perfectly OK.  Too many times we try to make all scenarios fit one single mold, but there will ALWAYS be exceptions.  I beleive we are that exception.  We are very happy!

 

tg

 
October 24, 2008, 1:03 pm CDT

age difference

im 23 my husband is 38. we have been together for 5 years and happily married for3. there isn't a problem with the age gap in fact we have alot in common. i don't think there is any thing worng with it. i feel people can date anyone they want no matter the age difference age is just a number and its what you have in common that only matters
 
October 24, 2008, 1:11 pm CDT

Who is setting the cultural standards in this country

Please people research the people who are pushing this garbage down our throats.  What religion teaches women to hate themselves, which religion promotes sexual deviance, who steals our money, who hates America and are the most unpatriotioc people on the planet, who despite their very small numbers do you see represented over and over again in powerful media postions.  I know because I have lived with these people for 26 years and studied them from the inside out.  WAKE Up!  They are destroying our culture and our values and replanting  with their base evilness.  PLEASE WAKE UP!!!!
 
October 24, 2008, 1:14 pm CDT

Dating Ages

Just input from personal experience.  My husband & I are 10 years age difference - him being the senior.  During the first part of the relationship and early marriage it didn't seem to matter.  However, as time marches on, I'm seeing a rise on differences that age makes in the marriage.  Example:  my husband is  retired (4 yrs) - he doesn't have the same drive to be out and about, accomplish new challenges - socialize with friends - he'd rather stay at home, watching tv, tinkering.  To get him to go anywhere - out to dinner, on a group event, sightsee, go dancing - he simply isn't interested.  I'm now at an age where the children are grown, our income is stabilized, no more reason to hold back - I feel I should be in my prime and able to enjoy life.  However, if I want to participate, it's usually by myself as hubbie often says he's already done that, doesn't feel he's missing out on anything, etc.  And. our sex drives are definitely different.  My desires are peaking as I have nothing to worry about, his have deteriorated with seeminly little need for physical intimacy.  So... consider carefully the long-range effects of a significant age difference. 

 
October 24, 2008, 1:19 pm CDT

in love with a man 15 years older

I have been with a man 15 years older than I am for over a year. It has been the best time in my life. I know everyday that I am loved, appreciated and not alone. After many failed relationships and one failed marriage I was more than happy to find a "normal" guy. I just don't understand why anyone cares about my age (29) and his (44). If we and the children are happy so be it. On the show it talked about not having anything in common, just because we have experienced different things due to age does not make one or the other less intelligent. I am thankful everyday that I found my soulmate even though he is 15 years older.
 
October 24, 2008, 1:19 pm CDT

Double standards...

I am not so sure its about double standards. Men are always going to want the younger women as long as younger women want them back.  I see nothing wrong in women dating younger men.  Your example on the show of that..the 65 yr. old women dating a 55 year old. Hmmm. Don't see that as older/younger thing. As a women pushing the 50 mark and still not have found love.  I have tried many things to find it including not looking for 15 years.  Looks unfortunely are the biggest obstacle I face next to men in my age group have all been married and divorced and scorned by a women and now they judge all by that one and want nsa relationships and want many in their harem so they will always be someone to call for the booty call. the problem with this and i would have thought by the time they got to their 40's they would be better at the sex part HA! they are not. Onlines sites are a joke as most men have no interset in actually meeting.  Just want to chat and or cam. I tried the professional matchmaker. Ladies don't waste your money.  My dogs could do a better job matching people. The women featured on todays show was a bad example of real women trying to date to find someone special. A think she should have been used under a different title.
 
October 24, 2008, 1:20 pm CDT

10/24 Dating Double Standards

Quote From: junebug336

Caroline on today's show wasn't even smart enough to understand Dr. Phil's questions to her. She was extremely defensive, and in the few minutes she was on the air she came across as Dr. Phil said and posted on the screen DESPERATE. I am simply amazed that her daughter didn't develop the same men "habits" as her mother, growing up bouncing from one man to another.

   i am only 13 years old soon to be 14 my view on dating younger people is that its gross on a few levels.i understand dating someone who is at the most 10 years either way.but if you are 50 years old and single you must have done something wrong?!youve obviously been a turn off  and you need to figure out in your younger years what kind of person you are looking for and kind you want to be. my opinion is that if you are a succsesful man for example you are dating a woman half your age i think that they're going out with you for reasons other love.but  obviously  maybe im not the one to judge seing as if i dated someone who is half my age they would be 7 years old so its out of the question. maybe someone speaking from experience will have other views but this is how i feel on the subject.
 
October 24, 2008, 1:24 pm CDT

After 50 dating?!?!?!

Hi ALL,

I divorced my ex 8 years ago and immediately started dating a man 12 years my junior. He had been coming on to me for a LONG time. Dating him was a wonderful rush. He was very athletic, hot body, loved to have fun, and had a very overactive sex drive. He had always dated older women (I guess that's why he was so good). We dated for about 4 years, some of it long distance after he moved. He wanted to get married but I had sense enough to know, this wasn't love; it was lust, it was an ego trip after years of being rejected in my marriage, and it was fun.

Since that ended 3 years ago I have dated men older, younger and the same age. Mostly I have had "one date wonders" you know you go out once, they act like they have had a great time, maybe call the next day and then never hear from them.

What I have learned; many men ARE intimidated by women who are self sufficent, independent and financially secure.  Unless a younger man is very mature or has dated older women, they are probably too immature for me to date. Older men who want younger women, well it may be unfair but it is what it is, I refuse to feel badly about myself because of it. I am beautiful, sexual but I am not physically 25 anymore. I was married to someone who made me feel like I was never good enough. I will NEVER allow someone to make me feel that way.

 I have met men online, I have current photos posted and yet I can tell the minute I see his face if he is dissapointed in my appearance. You know, that truly is his problem. You should have seen a couple of these men, they were so plain and looked MUCH older than their photos it was unbelievable. But I would never be so low class as to act surprised or to comment on this fact. And to be fair I have never had a man say anything negative in that regard but many women have.

Some days I feel sad to think I may never have a "true love: again. Mostly I am so happy and feel so loved. I don't lay in bad at night and cry like I did in my marriage, I was so lonely then. I have been much less lonely since divorce!

I refuse to settle. I refuse to dumb myself down, act dependent or needy. I do try to be open, relaxed and show interest. I don't think I act overly independent but my life speaks for itself. I have done most of the things all the dating sites recommend but find little out there for a woman my age. AH such is life. And yet I remain open, happy and enthusiastic about the possibility (I mean isn't that the fun!)

 
October 24, 2008, 1:29 pm CDT

She lost him at hello

That "career" gal is  not indimatating men.  SHe is probably bragging about her accopmplishments  which is highly annoying!  I read the book You Lost HIm at Hello, and it talked about how to KISS (keep it short and simple) while getting to know someone and not verbal vomiting all over them about how great you are!  I can't believe Dr. Phil didn't say anything to her. He let her off too easy!
 
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