Topic : 01/20 Dating Double Standards

Is there a dating double standard? Absolutely.  At age 61, this long-divorced and childless female has seen and heard about it all from men, other women and her own experience.  Examples follow:

• the online dating service prospects who've lied about their ages, marital status and incarcerations, much less everything inbetween;
• the married colleagues who've suggested that we work together in my/his room during business trips;
• the men whose eyes dart around the room and then excuse themselves from my side after learning how old I am;
• the younger men looking for a sugar mama, and the much older ones seeking "a nurse with a purse";
• the friends' husbands who've quietly offered their sexual services to relieve my "frustration", or their own boredom with an affair on the side;
• the clergyman who offered to hear my confession and offer his counsel alone in my home after his kids were in bed;
• the fears and unfounded suspicions of women with spouses or SO's who don't invite single/divorced/widowed women to participate in neighborhood couples' social events; and
• the eligible men who've disappeared after being informed that getting tested for STIs and using condoms will be necessary for sexual intimacy. You should hear some of the responses I've gotten as to why these precautions are unnecessary with older women.  I swear, the ignorance fairly oozes. 

I could go on, but you probably get the idea.  The older a decent single woman is, the harder iit is to find an equally decent single man.

I don't go to bars (or drink); hold to preconceived ideas about "suitable" age, occupations or physical appearance; or go out with female friends in a posse: all are notions that don't work.  I'm a decent and attractive lady who is comfortable with living on her own, but I still would like to find a good man who really wants to grow old with me.  I've just about given up on the idea, but I'm looking forward to Dr. Phil's show on older dating to see what else I can do.  Sure, I'm getting up there, but I'm not too old to learn something new. 

If you truly love him or think you might one day, then don't let someone else talk you out of it just because they make jokes or don't agree with the age gap.  Don't allow that seed of doubt to be placed in your mind. I made that mistake and I can't tell you how miserable I am because of it!  I fell deeply in love with a man twice my age (27 and 56) and when my family found out they made me break up with him.  I told him goodbye in April 2008 and everyday I regret letting my entire family have that control.  I still talk to him occasionally, but I'm so afraid of getting caught.  I live inferior of my family now.

I have cerebral palsy and suffered with seizures from 3 to 9 years old.  I was always delayed in anything I did.  I didn't crawl until I about 9 months, I didn't walk until 16 months, I got my license at 18, the legal age is 16.  My parents took me out of public school and home schooled from the 6th-12th grade because I got made fun of alot in the 5th grade.  So, I didn't socialize all that much once that happened.  Now, at 27 I don't have a career/job and I still live with my parents. I've like tons of guys but never had a boyfriend, until this man.  For whatever reason it would humiliate me if my family found out I liked someone.  I know it is because of my medical history and inexperience in the dating scene that my family is so protective.  But there comes a time when they have let you find out who YOU WANT TO BE as an individual, right?  I can't make them understand that.  Anyway, this whole experience has opened my wider than they ever been.  I've decided to put myself out there and start looking for a career so I can make it on my own one day.  I typed up a resume, not a very good one I might add, and I'm going around to all the local Dr. offices.  By my family forcing me to give this man up, it has caused me to really take a closer look at my life and realize the necessary things that need to happen for me to have my own life won't ever happen unless I make them happen.  That's why i'm seeking a career and hopefully a life of my own.  Maybe one of these days our paths will cross again and we'll get a second chance.

Hi Dr. Phil and crew,

I am about to close the door to relationships as it is too hard to find a genuine person who doesn't have a bagage...In my concern it is proven that men will, in their life time, fall in love once or twice (rarely) they will rather have a suitable companion then give to the love thing. Women on the other side will fall at least 2 if not 3 times in love in their life time... If you look younger it helps but rarely for finding the "rigth one" man are too practical for that. Most of guys in their 30's will look for possible mother figure mate " the mother of my children" in a last call as they do have a biological clock too. The man in their 40's have usually 20 years old children and been there done that soo they just  want to have fun not an other extented family...

What's left if you are in your forties...?

I am a 53 yr old divorced woman who hopes that there is a Mr.Right out there for me still.  I also beileve that people believe that it is okay to see a older man with a younger woman, but when the roles are reversed then society thinks we are awful.  If you see an older woman out with a younger man you just assume that is her son, but when you find out different it changes some people's oppinons.  I do think that part of the reason society sees so many younger women with older men is because those women want taken care of. I have been married 3 times, and maybe not looking for marriage again but that special person to be with. 

Dating Doctor Double Phil/Robin Standard. Did you ever date Robin and another woman at all? I wouldn---

ot be surprize if you date another woman while dating Robin at the same time. I never would try that mysel-

f. See you on Friday October 24th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------