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Topic : 01/20 Dating Double Standards

Number of Replies: 227
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Created on : Friday, October 17, 2008, 02:56:57 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/24/08) Ladies, what would you do if you had to return to the dating game in your 40s, 50s or even 60s? Dr. Phil’s guests point to a double standard between men and women. Men can date women young enough to be their daughters, while a middle-aged woman who dates younger men is sure to face criticism. Caroline is a 58-year-old grandmother who has been married three times and is still looking for her Prince Charming. She admits to traveling from Monaco to Amsterdam and throughout the States in search of love, often with younger men. Caroline says she even accepted a proposal from a man she met online -- a suitor she has never met in person! Her daughter, Anara, says the problem is not her mother’s age, but that her mom doesn’t act her age. Is Caroline just living life without limits, or is she her own worst enemy when it comes to meeting Mr. Right? Then, Dr. Phil talks to Patti Stanger, CEO of The Millionaire’s Club, an exclusive dating service that caters to wealthy men and women who are looking for love. Find out why Patti says Caroline is heading toward a life of loneliness, and learn her dating tips to increase your chances of finding a mate. And, Anna is only 30, but she says some men already think she’s too old to date! Her friend, Robyn, says Anna's independence turns some men off. Find out what happens when Dr. Phil cameras follow Anna for a night on the town. Plus, meet a divorced mom who says she’s been on the dating scene for 15 years and has yet to find a man her age who wants to commit.. Join the discussion.

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October 24, 2008, 6:24 am CDT

10/24 Dating Double Standards

Quote From: mrbean5411

Honestly. How many fat, bald, ugly men do you see with thin, pretty women? Based on the couples I know, almost 90% of the time the man is more attractive than the woman. It isn't about looks. It is about how you treat each other. Far too many women these days, treat their men like crap and expect them to take it. As a part of our politically correct/feminist society, we have trained women to be selfish. We constantly tell them that if they do nice things for their husbands, that they are being subserviant. What a load of garbage.

 

All men want is a woman who treats them kindly and makes them feel loved. Looks only go so far. In my opinion, it is women who are more shallow. They want looks, personality and money.

 

Thank god, not all women have bought into this line of thinking, but unfortunately it is the majority.

a lot of them date more attractive females.. if you see them with an overweight woman, it is usually their wife, sister or mother. they may not be a drop dead 9 but men usually date someone a few notiches above their looks level.  All i ever got for treating a man good and kind was dumped for someone younger, thinner and prettier.  They suddenly found their 'true love'  and i was no longer wanted or needed. life is not fair, dateing is not fair.

 

 
October 24, 2008, 6:30 am CDT

10/24 Dating Double Standards

Quote From: mrbean5411

Honestly. How many fat, bald, ugly men do you see with thin, pretty women? Based on the couples I know, almost 90% of the time the man is more attractive than the woman. It isn't about looks. It is about how you treat each other. Far too many women these days, treat their men like crap and expect them to take it. As a part of our politically correct/feminist society, we have trained women to be selfish. We constantly tell them that if they do nice things for their husbands, that they are being subserviant. What a load of garbage.

 

All men want is a woman who treats them kindly and makes them feel loved. Looks only go so far. In my opinion, it is women who are more shallow. They want looks, personality and money.

 

Thank god, not all women have bought into this line of thinking, but unfortunately it is the majority.

a lot of them date more attractive females.. if you see them with an overweight woman, it is usually their wife, sister or mother. they may not be a drop dead 9 but men usually date someone a few notiches above their looks level.  All i ever got for treating a man good and kind was dumped for someone younger, thinner and prettier.  They suddenly found their 'true love'  and i was no longer wanted or needed. life is not fair, dateing is not fair.

 

 
October 24, 2008, 6:33 am CDT

I'm married to an "Older" man..................

Quote From: grammyb54

I am a 53 yr old divorced woman who hopes that there is a Mr.Right out there for me still.  I also beileve that people believe that it is okay to see a older man with a younger woman, but when the roles are reversed then society thinks we are awful.  If you see an older woman out with a younger man you just assume that is her son, but when you find out different it changes some people's oppinons.  I do think that part of the reason society sees so many younger women with older men is because those women want taken care of. I have been married 3 times, and maybe not looking for marriage again but that special person to be with. 

 

  I am married to an older man, by 16 years. I was 23 and he was 39 when we were married. It had nothing to do with me wanting to be "taken care of". I'm sure there are some marriages out there like that, but certainly not all. We have been very happily married now for over 21 years and will continue to be until death do we part.

  When my husband began dating me and then married me, the women in the town we lived in resented the hell out of me. That was so wrong of them. They just assumed that I was after his money and that their own husbands would dump them and get "a young one" too, as if this would put ideas in their heads. It just blows my mind.

  And BTW, this is his second marriage and my first. Instead of having anything to do with age, it has more to do with finding the right person. We happen to be soul mates and perfect chemistry. I had seriously dated several men prior to meeting my husband, younger and very wealthy. Not once did marriage ever cross my mind. Two weeks after meeting my husband I "knew" I was going to marry him and I was right.  People get too hung up on the whole age thing and that is where they are going wrong. Try finding the person you are actually meant to be with and it would amaze you just how easy marriage can actually be.

 
October 24, 2008, 7:01 am CDT

Oh! Dr. Phil

I am a 59 year old woman with a 49 year significant other!  I am wheelchair bound and we have been together for 12 years.  He has been with through losing my ability to walk and becoming wheelchair bound.  Your portrayal of the aging difference had me in hysterics.  You were referring to my age line and our age difference.  LOL.  Then compounded it with the portrayal of walker and wheelchair.  I'm still laughing.  I think you would find that my significant other would strongly disagree with your analogy.

 

I have in general always been married to or in a relationship with a younger man.  Why?  You ask.  My experience has been that the ones my age or older just don't want to take life as it comes.  I have Friedreich's ataxia.  I can't afford to worry about tomorrow or the past.  I take everyday as a blessing and live accordingly.  I am who I am and expect others to take me accordingly.  I am not, never have been and never will be an old fogie.  LOL.  And I don't give out a resume.  I like to know people for who they are as a person and that's they way I present me. 

 

I don't care if you are an older man dating a younger woman or an older woman dating a younger man.  If it works for you and makes you happy then GO FOR IT.

 

 
October 24, 2008, 7:54 am CDT

can't find some one your age .. whatever!

I'm sorry, but I don't get it. I think you hit on it with all these women with one word, Desperate!  I am a 53 year old woman who only dates men my age, and with know problem. First off however, I'm not out looking. My life is so full, between work, my large family and my volunteer activities.  Plus I have friends so I'm out at concerts and parties. I get approached a lot by men my age. And I look my age and I have baggage, 6 grown children with families and issues. But I am secure with who I am. I also am internet dating. Again it's a man my age from my hometown. We just realized through classmates.com that we knew some of the same people 30+ years ago, and now his law practice is right behind my grandfather’s old print shop. I live in SC & he is in Colorado. We have plenty in common and will probably meet some day when I visit my parents. But to this lady that flies across the world, I would have to tell you, even if this man in my hometown, where I know people, if he were to ask about purchasing me a ticket, I would turn him down flat. When I travel it's because I want too, and I won't be subject to anyone else.

So I guess to all these women, stop looking, start learning about your self and enjoying your own company.  You will be surprised with he results!
  

 
October 24, 2008, 8:09 am CDT

My ex while sleeping

In our late 40's it started... My husband was all over me in his sleep...

When he woke[ i made sure he would wake during his rush on my body],,,ZOOM back over to his side of bed when he realized he was in bed with me...

This ALLWAYS happened if we were in the company of a younger female earlier that day...

I cared for this disabled husband for many more years hoping to put him in nursing home...

When he refused to go into nursing home,and i could not mange things  [i was growing sicker and sicker]

i put him into his own senoirs aptartment...i got my senoirs apartment nearby...

THe  senior  females bombarded him...They fought over him...

Little did they know  he was only interested in thier grandaughters....

 

 
October 24, 2008, 8:47 am CDT

A 45 yr. old man's "candy" is his "MONEY"!!! Don't be fooled! ;)

  These women are coming off as "fake".  Honestly, a man wants a long term woman that is genuine in nature, caring, less of a "shopper", and needs to be needed by him.  The first woman has been married 3 times already...so it's obvious she's doing something wrong herself.  Will a 4th marriage work out for her?  Probably not.  She needs to be more introspective, less of a hunter, and have a more sincere personality.  Open yourself up to realness ladies...and love will find you. :)

  As for the 45 year old man who spoke, he IS carrying "candy"...it's in the form of "money" or more stability.  A 28 year old usually does not know herself yet, so a man can "mold" her to be what he wants.  Men for the most part are very insecure and love to CONTROL things (including the remote TV control)! ;)  Yes, it's true older women should not give off the sense they don't need love, or a man to be successful, yet men need to gain the knowledge that often older women have more to offer as far as "substance" in a partnership.  If you know yourself, you are ready to love others.  I don't agree with the "millionaire matchmaker" that she should be creating the "package " in women, for these men to view.  Relationships that are superficial and not authentic, are doomed to failure.  Marriage is NOT a business deal.  But I do agree the matchmaker has goal oriented strategies to snare love, and make yourself more approachable.  Often those not looking, are the ones to find love...perfect time and place have something to do with it.  Love is hard to find.  Be patient, be realistic, and DON'T run after the "fairytale".  Men will NEVER live up to the fairytale dream girls and women place on them!  Soap Opera's are a FANTASY ladies!!! :)

Good luck,  Anne from MI

 
October 24, 2008, 9:44 am CDT

10/24 Dating Double Standards

Caroline on today's show wasn't even smart enough to understand Dr. Phil's questions to her. She was extremely defensive, and in the few minutes she was on the air she came across as Dr. Phil said and posted on the screen DESPERATE. I am simply amazed that her daughter didn't develop the same men "habits" as her mother, growing up bouncing from one man to another.

 
October 24, 2008, 10:47 am CDT

OK to date

I don't see a problem with dating a younger man.

 

I am 50 years old and was recently married. My husband is 8 years younger than I am.  We don't see the age difference at all.  Unfortunately, his parents took issue when we started dating in 2003 but soon realized that we were soul mates and would be together for the long haul.

 

As for men dating a younger woman, why not as long as they are half his age.  I say that for woman dating younger men too.

 

 

 
October 24, 2008, 12:14 pm CDT

old lady.....young morals

Ugh...that grandmother who is trying to recoup her teenage years is really disgusting.  I would be so mortified if my mother dated that many men...there's a word for that and it rhymes with bore (which she is as well)

 

I feel for her daughter, imagine your mother flying all over the world to date 18 year old boys, meeting men online that she agrees to marry without meeting, spending all of her time trying to trap a man while her children are left with the embarrassment.

 

I hope Dr Phil gets to whatever deeper issue has made so so insecure, unhappy and unable to deal with her real life so she can start acting like a grown woman instead of a dog in heat

 
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