Message Boards

Topic : 04/07 Broken Trust

Number of Replies: 132
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, October 23, 2008, 01:01:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/27/08) A recent Reader’s Digest poll ranked trust as the number one crucial quality for a happy marriage. But what happens when trust between spouses is broken? Deanne and Brian have been married for 12 years and have four children between them. Now, due to alleged lies and infidelity, divorce is just a signature away. Deanne says that Brian has had multiple affairs, inappropriately touched his stepdaughter’s friend, sent messages to other women and seldom wears his wedding ring. Brian says that’s all in the past. He blames Deanne’s long work hours and his previous alcohol abuse for his straying, and says that if those two things remain under control, he thinks their marriage can work. Deanne’s daughters, meanwhile, have conflicting opinions. Find out whose side they’re on. Will this family remain divided? And, can and should this marriage survive? Speak out!

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 27, 2008, 1:11 pm CDT

Women always get treated with kid-gloves!

I'm usually a fan of Dr. Phil's no-nonsense approach. But my question is, 'why do women so often get sugar-coatings when the issue is marriage trouble'?

In todays show, Deanna is CLEARLY having an affair with he Sugar-Daddy who lives across the street, yet Dr.Phil made NO attempt to press her on this! Its a mortal sin that Brian is having conversations with another woman, but when we find out that Deanna is chatting online until 3AM with her Sugar-Daddy, its passed over like its nothing.

And we ALL know the saying..."What happens in Vegas, STAY IN VEGAS"! The fact that Deanna works from home, and Brian doesn't and her Sugar-Daddy LIVES ACROSS THE STREET, should have sent Dr. Phil into a melt-down! But Dr- Phil gives women the benefit of the doubt, far too much. Brian took a lot of flak for his admitted infidelity and Deanna was not pressed at all on her obvious marital indiscretions.

What is too often missing from the show is balance, especially where marital issues are concerned.

And men are getting tired of it!

 
October 27, 2008, 1:37 pm CDT

Run Brian Run

I watched your show with my husband and he had a fit when Deanne mentioned her husband did not wear his wedding ring. Well my husband was a mechanic and he has never wore a wedding. If you are working on a car, van, or heavy equipment you do not want to be wearing a ring of any kind. My brother was a mechanic and he always took off any rings or left therm home before going to work. I think Brian should let his wife file the divorce papers and run and make a new life because she is controling and he will never be able to satisfy her. I do believe he should spend more time with his son because he needs some guidence right now. This family will be better off if there is a divorce. I believe they will get along better being apart. I don't like to see people get divorced if the marriage can be saved, but it is not the case here.
 
October 27, 2008, 1:37 pm CDT

10/27 Broken Trust

Quote From: jamibean

i REALLY HATE THESE KIND OF SHOWS BECAUSE DR PHIL GETS OFF THROWING THE MEN UNDER THE BUS.

 

THE WIVES CAN HARDLY DO ANYTHING WRONG.

 

THE FAMILY IS 'SHAKEN BY THE HUSBAND'S AFFAIR', HOW ABOUT THE WIFE BEING A WORKAHOLIC AND NOT A 'PART OF THE FAMILY'

 

DR PHIL NEEDS A REALITY CHECK, ROCKY MARRIAGES TAKES 2 TO MAKE THEM ROCK

I have rarely seen a person that is more consistently fair then Dr. Phil. I have never witnessed what you are protesting. Are you aware that writing in all caps is considered very rude shouting in netiquette?
 
October 27, 2008, 2:04 pm CDT

10/27 Broken Trust

Quote From: bethanco

This is such a common theme.


Question :    Other then Dr Phil and a few other incredible men - rare and far between - such as my Priest - Why marry?   My therapist isn't married and I know a ## of other female therapists who aren't married - WHO NEEDS THIS PAIN!

 

We marry them for better or for worse -  the worse is so ugly and disrespfedul and selfish that we can't take it and we divorce them.   

Do we all need to marry only Ex-Priests.

 

Where are the good men!   The ones who are loyal and loving and carring.   

I am married a second time and refuse to haved children with this man -  he flirts, verbally zings me!    I had to hang out in colleged 5 years taking classes with the future therapists to straighten him out!   I became an engineer.  

 

 So far he has not had an affair -  not for lack of trying -  WE ALL KNOW SOMEONE WHO DOES THIS -  

DISRESPECTING US means they DO NOT VALUE US -  !

I have my emergency fund of money he knows nothing about -  and my attorney picked out.    When he found out he freaked and finally wants the marriage.

 

QUESTION :   Are happily married people a thing of the past or rare occurrences.

 

 

SLB  -   Bunny White

 

I'm happily married. This is my second marriage... well the second time I have been married. I don't consider the first a marriage. The first 'marriage' lasted 9 months before I told him I was done. Stupid mistake, we all make them. If someone is hurting you in any way then they don't love you and the decision is made. Never ever put up with abuse of any description.
 
October 27, 2008, 2:13 pm CDT

10/27 Broken Trust

The people that don't believe that trust can be rebuilt have no understanding of love.
 
October 27, 2008, 2:46 pm CDT

Shame on them for what they've done to their kids.

This couple was in trouble from the time they got engaged.   Although Brian has alot of serious issues to deal with, I do believe Deanne has done damage to the family also.   She made a comment during the show that Brian taking off his wedding ring is very disrespectful to her (and I agree), but to fly off with a man on your birthday every year and accept money from him does more harm than good to her family.  Why not spend birthdays with your family and make them special family days?   I worry for these children.  They have not been taught the value and respect of a loving family.  They have been cheated out of their childhoods.  I hope the girls and their troubled son get the counseling they will need. 

 
October 27, 2008, 2:49 pm CDT

Broken Trust

I cannot believe that she stayed with him after he repeatedly lied and cheated.  I do not believe that he will change.

She can do better.  Her children definitely deserve better. 

Fool me once, shame on you -- fool me twice, shame on me.

 

 

 
October 27, 2008, 3:17 pm CDT

10/27 Broken Trust

What they need is a spiritual higher power, for me it is God. He needs to go to meetings for his addiction, get a sponsor and work the 12 steps. She needs to go to meetings as well and learn about her husband sickness, it's just like cancer you cannot do wrong for wrong the bible tells you that  for better or worst is a vow in God eyesight  you need to  ask God  for forgiviness. Your son is acting  out because  of you  guys disfunction when you  get  right  he'll get right .I know because I am  a  victim of  this. I'm a  recovering  addict  working  this program, dealing  with  trust with my  wife but for the grace of  God  with my meetings and support with addicts like me I am making it.HER MOTHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER DIVORCEING HIM OR NOT IT'S JUST AS MUCH HER FAULT AS HIS SO GO TO GOD IT'S THE ONLY WAY,SUPPORT HIM AND GET TO GO TO MEETINGS AND EVERYTHING IS GOING  TO BE ALL RIGHT. I HOPE YOU GUY'S GET  THIS  MESSAGE  MY DEED IS DONE GOD BLESS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
October 27, 2008, 3:19 pm CDT

10/27 Broken Trust

Quote From: efffy_

The people that don't believe that trust can be rebuilt have no understanding of love.
OK, I can tell again, that you are young. Once a cheater, always a cheater. They're men and that's all they have on their minds. Good luck on rebuilding your trust.
 
October 27, 2008, 3:20 pm CDT

Brian Wife

Brian wife is about dull as a stick.  I think these to people are not made for each other.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last