Message Boards

Topic : 10/28 Cyber Bullying

Number of Replies: 132
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:49:53 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Bullies love an audience, and there’s no bigger playground than the World Wide Web. Cyber bullies create vulgar MySpace posts to taunt others, or send harassing text messages and threatening e-mails. Dr. Phil tackles this topic head on with his son, Jay, whose new book, Jay McGraw’s Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies, offers action-oriented plans. Jay recently sat down with a group of teens to get their perspective on cyber bullying -- and they didn’t hold back! Learn what concerns the students the most. Next, 17-year-old Austyn says a close friend turned on her, hacked into her MySpace account and reformatted the page to say that Austyn is a " slut," a “sag” and a “butter face.”  Austyn says she now has a bad reputation at school and shows Dr. Phil producers a typical day in her life. What can the teen do to empower herself? Steve DeWarns, a police officer and founder of Internetchildsafety.net, explains when cyber bullying becomes a crime. Then, is your child capable of intimidating other kids? Jay gives the Dos and Don’ts of reacting to a bully. Plus, meet a teen who fears his future may be ruined after a fake MySpace page was created in his name, and a mother who says her 15-year-old son was bullied to death. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 28, 2008, 12:37 pm CDT

myspace

   I lost my grandson  due to liek. on Feburday 20,  2007 and recieved  phone call from a friend a month ago that  ask me did I know my grandson Corey Winters (age 9 went he passed away) had a myspace page . I went to it and was really hurt and so was my daughter  to read what someone wrote and made a profile acting like him!  I contract myspace to remove it and told we didnt give permission for someone to do this ! They e-mail back saying they needed the death cert. or obitr. so i went online and send them a copy  of the oditr. but they e-mail me back  saying that wasnt good enought needed a real copy! We are hurt enought  by it  and we have all his papers in a lock box that I dont  want to unlock just to show myspace. Why cant  they go to Corey Winters profile and see  that at the end of the letter its said he passed away and how  can someone write and tell them the day they passed away plus he was only  9 !!!!!!!!!!! So this really hurt  our family and myspace only made is worst!
 
October 28, 2008, 12:43 pm CDT

They seem to have more rights than we do

Quote From: pbrought

I think bringing the person into the light so to speak is the answer for a lot of these people that hide behind their computers and do this to people.  Go to the news media!  Put it in the local newspaper, hang flyers, do whatever you have to do to bring this person to justice especially if law enforcement cannot or will not help.  I have had problems with this as a child and have a child that has experienced this.  Not in cyberspace but in person.  I brought it to light finally in our neighborhood by going to parents (that didn't know it was going on)  and had meetings with all moms involved.  I went door to door!  It has stopped for now.  We will see what the future holds in this neighborhood!!

I would love to be able to do that! Good for you for taking a stance. The sad part about it is that the bullies seem to have more rights than their victims. Could I get a court order to stop the harassment? Sure - thousands of dollars later and the burden of proof is on the plaintiff. I've ignored it. It goes away for several months. Then something happens to stir her up again and she begins attacking me again.

I take come comfort in knowing that a majority of the people in our community know that she is in the wrong, and she has a horrible reputation. She and her little band of 3-4  followers (adults in their 30's - 50's nonetheless) are the butt of many jokes.

People who engage in this type of behavior are attention seeking. They are obviously dissatisfied with some aspect of their own lives, and they prey on those they perceive as being weaker. My bully ENCOURAGES people to blog about me,  stating that she knows it will send me over the edge, and hopes I will "throw in the towel". Sick, isn't it?

Yes, school-age cyber bullies need to be controlled by the parents. My kids' computer time AND content of what they are reading and posting, are closely monitored.  I know of kids in the neighborhood who are on-line constantly, even when they are suspended from school and are in the juvenile system. Where are the parents of these kids?

Then you run into the parents whose mantra is "not my kid". Their child can never do any wrong. Who wants to admit that their child is a bully?

 
October 28, 2008, 12:44 pm CDT

Cyberbullying

I am so tired of hearing about all of this bullying! I do believe it is a MAJOR problem in our world today, but I have a problem putting all the blame on the children. We, as parents, need to protect our children and monitor what they do regardless of their age. If they are in school and living under your roof, you have the right and the responsibility to protect your child! My son was only 14 years old when my girlfriend called me, laughing, and told me that my son had set his "mood" on his Myspace page to "horny". I was devastate! I did not find anything funny about that at all! At that time I did not know much about Myspace, so when my son came home I told him he needed to change his "mood" immediately. He told me that the mood changes day by day "all by itself". So, I had him teach me how to create my Myspace page. I did not tell him at the time, but I did that so I would know how to maneuver through it and how to use it. I found out that the "mood" does NOT change all by itself! I now monitor what my son has on his page. I monitor photos as well as text! I made him remove one picture where he was wanting to look "gangster". As a parent this is my right, but more so my responsibility to teach my child what is appropriate and what is not as well as what is acceptable in society and how to respect himself as well as others!
 
October 28, 2008, 12:45 pm CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

Quote From: joandenise16

I understand that this is a real problem but teens and kids can prevent it from happening to them. First for the AIM bullies there is a block button that you push and that person can never bother you again. As for myspace, the fact of hackers you need to make your password something no one can figure out. Plus myspace has this little thing called privacy. I have it set on mine. This means that it limits the people that can add you as friends they have to at least know your last name and you still have to approve them and as for comments I have to approve every comment left on my myspace before it is shown. So even though this is a problem they can fix it. I understand that text messages are used as well and you can have that number blocked so that you do recieve any more messages. I think that we need to stop blaming the bullies even though what they are doing is wrong and stand up for ourselves. If you are a victim of cyber bullying there are things that you can do so that you don't have to deal with it.
You made some good points...can it really be that simple? I hope so. I wonder why more people don't know about these things and prevent this cyber bullying?!
 
October 28, 2008, 12:50 pm CDT

10/28 Cyber Bullying

My teen-age daughter recently had someone create a MySpace account impersonating her and they posted a picture of her that has an arrow pointing to her private parts with vulgar words (don't misunderstand, my daughter is fully dressed).  They also said vulgar things about her in the profile.  After they created the account, they sent her a message requesting she be a "friend".  When she saw it she started crying and showed it to me.  I immediately reported it to MySpace and the police.  To date, the police don't know what they're going to do about it, if anything, and the site is still up in case the police ever do decide to do anything about it.  All the kids at school were talking about it because the person that created the site was telling everyone about it and I received a message from someone that confirmed they heard the person that created the site say they did.  I frankly can't understand the mentality or lack thereof for anyone to do such a thing - and I am disturbed that the police and MySpace aren't doing anything about it.  I informed MySpace of the URL of the person that created the site yet their site is still up and running so apparently there are no repercussions?  If such actions are ok, then why do they have links to report issues like these?  These issues will continue until the powers that be gives a damn and stands up for the victims and prosecutes those responsible.     
 
October 28, 2008, 1:02 pm CDT

State of the rat or why I hate technology.

Quote From: jathena

As a society we have lost our way.  We seem to always deal with problems after the fact, rather than try to prevent them.  Cell phones, and the internet have opened up a Pandora's Box of evil beyond anything I could have imagined in my 64 years.  We are becoming parodies of ourselves.  Sorry, folks, but the sky is falling.  We have lost control and have, in the guise of free speech, become thoughtless and mean because we have little personal contact these days.  We no longer have parents who not only say NO, but demand it.  We no longer have any decorum and good manners in our approach to each other.  Our "empire" is being reduced to the ashes that once destroyed the Greek and Roman empires, as well as countless others.  I am not some holy roller.  I am a divorced mother who pretty much raised two daughters alone.  They both are college educated and professional women.  We are pandering to the lowest common denominater.  Seems reminiscent of "Lord of the Flies". 
I totally agree with this, Jathena. It's strange to hear people talking about the problems in their homes brought on by the internet (internet affairs, pornography addiction, cyberbullying) while never once considering getting rid of the computers!

It's as though we are slaves to this new technology and would rather risk our marriages and our children's safety than give up this modern convenience!

Obviously I have a Mac and internet access but the minute I thought it was endangering my home it would be in landfill so fast it would make your head spin.

What would be the loss? Students would have to do their own research at the library on the rare occasions when homework demanded it. Let's face it, most homework still envolves doing those math problems and reading the text book.

Think of the time saved if our kids didn't have chat rooms and My Space.

I enjoy discussion boards but, often as not, I notice that we're all just voicing our own opinions and not reading anyone elses. Is this true communication?

I'm getting fed up with all new technology -- I have a new Video Cassette Recorder/ Digital Video Recorder/ Player (yes, really) and I can not program it after hours of reading the manual. We've become work horses to the very things that are supposed to make life easier.

At least I still haven't fallen to the myth that I must have a cell phone.
 
October 28, 2008, 1:07 pm CDT

Parents need to take responsibility!

Okay, I am really tired of people suggesting that schools add more things to their curriculums that PARENTS should be teaching their children in THEIR homes!  We need to teach our children to respect others and to teach them compassion and respect for their friends and that their actions can hurt others.  That is our job as parents!
 
October 28, 2008, 1:20 pm CDT

cyber bullying

I find the topic of bullying quite interesting.  Whereas cyber bullying is prevalent in today's society, bullying in general should be an important topic to address.

I have been the subject of day to day bullying in the work place.  At first I didn't think much about it.  I was a 45 year old woman who had never had any classes on diversity.

The first time it happened, my boss called me at a location where I was substatuting for a manager in an elementary school kitchen.  The phone rang at 8:45 a.m., I answered it & it was my boss.  She told me exactly how I was supposed to report to work each day at the school in which I worked at, leave that school at 7:15 a.m., go to the other school & then leave there so that my school day would end at 1:50 p.m.  She proceeded to ask if I reported as told each day, I responded that in fact I did.  She said that not everyone would see me before I left for the second site for the day, which was sometimes true but most days not true, however, I everyday reported to the line leader, did whatever odd job was needed then left at 7:10 a.m. for the second site, as was told I could do by yet another boss that for the second site was my respective boss.  That all cleared up as it was really unimportant to me, I did as was asked & reported each day with the first boss each day from then on.

Hanging up the phone I wondered exactly had just happened & why, since that really could not be answered I just jotted it down in my daily work diary & moved on with my life.

The next school year starts, as in with any job there are people we like & some we just tolerate, there are two people I tolerate & make it a pleasant work day for each person I work with on a daily basis.  For that school year I find myself being taken into the "private" office for a "talk" with my boss.  Most of the time it was irrevalent things that I could not figure out why she would take time out of her busy day to verbally spank me for, but being the person I am I just went on with my day.  Half way through the school year, three ladies, I being on of them, was working in another school kitchen & having to come & go through out the day & work our regular job.  When the second sites day was done & one of us would return to the first school we would discuss our days happenings so each of us was on the same wave length.  After this sceniro ran on, two of us were taken into the "private" office & was told to not discuss what went on at the other school in front of the other members of our team, however, the third person was not told this.  The reason we could not discuss any other site information was odd.  At this time I didn't know that the third woman was friends with our boss outside the workplace, thus why she was not taken into the "private" office & was totally free to discuss anything she wanted.  One of the ladies I had tolerated through out started asking questions each time one of us three ladies would come back from another site, only one of us could answer.  The lady asking the questions would look at myself & the other woman who could not respond & just grin.  Toward the end of the school year this lady who does not work other sites quit talking, responding or helping me if the job required it.  She would totally ignore me.  I just felt that this was for the best anyway & went on with life.

The third school year starts, things are quite normal, everyone is happy to be back at work.  Within a matter or a week, I was again being taken into the "private" office for talks that were quite silly & unimportant.  Then one day, a lady was talking to me & had what I thought to be just a question as to someone had spread rumor that she during that week had stood around & talked without working for 20 minutes.  I responded that people like to talk & exaggerate lots of things & she should just ignore it.  I was later that day taken into the "private" office & was asked if I had said this about this other woman.  I had not said or even thought this, but it upset me that my name was even in consideration.  Days later I ate a piece of food in our work area, within 15 mins. of all of us going to lunch break I was again taken into the "private" office & asked if I had eaten this piece of food, I was so taken aback that I was even being asked let alone that she would recieve this piece of information while everyone was at lunch break.  I just said I had not eaten this piece of food on the food prep line & left it at that.  When I went back to work, I thought about how, why & in fact I had not told the exact trurth about the situation.  So I asked the boss to speak with her.  I told her I did eat a piece of food but not on the food prep line but off to the side.  I also asked her who was harrassing me, she said no one was harrassing me but just going & telling her when things happened out of her site during work.  I then said why would she want anyone to go & tell her every little thing that may happen as she was not a babysitter & the fact she was only being told things about people that these 2 ladies didn't like, not when people they liked did things, so I listed a long list of things that these 2 ladies did & their friends, that didn't set very well with my boss, however, all the spying & reporting on me stopped & it was transfered to people that I like.  I told my friends that the harrassment was now going to start on them because in our handbook there are steps to reporting harassment & without me even knowing I had done it I took step one.

Since I called the kettle black the harrassment has somewhat stopped & these two ladies who like to spy are actually being nice to me, which is all I wanted in the first place.

I work for a public school system & my boss does not even know what harrassment or diversity are, how can she stop bullying in the workplace if she doesn't even know the defination?

 
October 28, 2008, 1:28 pm CDT

What is the matter with Dr. Phil?

I was disappointed that Dr. Phil was so cavalier with the young man who posted the fight. AND with his parents. What was Dr. Phil thinking? What is his mother thinking? Did she think it was cute to be on national t.v. where people can see what a terrible parent she is?

 

Disturbing? She should be disturbed that her son thought it was appropriate to air such a sick and pathetic video! She is disturbing! 

 

Parewnts are not paying attention to the activities their children engage in. Had I ever done anything like that I would still be restricted!

 

Wake up parents!

 
October 28, 2008, 1:28 pm CDT

You're right.

Quote From: pbrought

Lets not forget about the ultimate school bully....the teacher!!  You know the one, she has "taught" for 25 years and should be retired.  The one that teaches by intimidation!!  Any child in her "care" that doesn't sit at their desk with hands folded saying yes maam no maam, the teacher feels like she can BULLY into submission.  Teachers can make or break a child especially at an early age.  My daughter is in fourth grade and was bullied by her second grade teacher.  She has had trouble since that time because I believe she was so busy trying to defend herself and learn at the same time, she had trouble learning!  My daughter was afraid to tell until it was too late and of course we all tend to believe the teacher because they are the adult!  Don't fall into that trap.  Last year as my daughter was repeating third grade (I had vowed to myself to never let anything like this happen again), I caught the signs that she was being intimidated by a reading teacher.  I am happy to say that I confronted the teacher in a way that brought it to light to not just the teacher but ALL the appropriate people.  Much to my surprise I was told that this was not the first time.  My point is watch out for bullying teachers as well as children.  p.s.  I was bullied in school and never told a soul.  I suppose I was afraid and ashamed.  I remember the details to this day (40 years later) including the girls name and can picture her  in my mind.  It is a real problem!

In all the years I was in school I had three great teachers, the rest were mean, had delusions of godhood, or they were ghosts. My parents raised us to take no guff from anyone. Sometimes it would have been the better part of valour to just keep my mouth shut, but I refuse to be demeaned, intimidated, or falsely accused. One teacher refused to let me go to the bathroom, so I got up and went anyway. I ended up in the office, and my mother was called. By the time my mother got finished the teacher was in trouble. One principal threatened to paddle me. If my parents hadn't raised me to be assertive and stand up for myself he probably would have. I was in grade four. Outwardly calm, I stared him down and told him my parents don’t hit me what makes you think they would allow you to? You can tell how much of a bully he was because when he saw he couldn’t intimidate me he backed down. I had a hard time with the bad teachers because of this attitude, but it’s better then being a mouse. I have raised my children to be strong and independent, so no one takes advantage. They are also secure in the fact they are wanted, loved, special, and no matter what, home is a soft place to land. Every human deserves the same level of respect but, you have to give it to get it. I will always take the word of my children above anyone else because teachers are strangers after all.

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last