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Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:51:47 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil tackles the sensitive topic of children who identify more with the opposite sex. What do you do if your son wants to wear dresses and play with dolls? Or if your daughter tells you she wants to be a boy? Should parents chock it up to being a phase that their children will grow out of, or should they intervene right away? Meet Melissa and Tim, whose 8-year-old son declared himself to be a girl when he was just 3 years old. Now, they allow their child to live as a girl and wonder if and when they should begin hormone therapy. Then, when Mary’s son was 8, he told her he felt like a girl, and Mary allowed him to experiment with dressing as a female. Now a teenager, her son is more comfortable living as a male -- but Mary wonders if she caused his confusion. Joining the discussion are experts with differing points of view: Dr. Dan Siegel, professor and clinical psychiatrist at UCLA School of Medicine, and Glenn Stanton, author and research fellow with the organization Focus on the Family. Is gender identity something we’re born with, or is it influenced by parents and environment? Don’t miss this heated discussion, then talk about the show here..

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 29, 2008, 7:24 am CDT

Genetics

 Has anyone bothered to have these children geneticaly tested to see if they might be geneticaly female even though their anatomy suggests otherwise? I understand this sometimes happens, that they are born this way.
 
October 29, 2008, 7:31 am CDT

let people be people

This may just be me but I say when they are kids let them be who they want to be, dont try to push them one way or the other. & when they get old enough to make their own decisions, such as hormones, support them what ever they want to do. It's their body, not anyone elses.

 
October 29, 2008, 7:32 am CDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: rickeyterry

 Has anyone bothered to have these children geneticaly tested to see if they might be geneticaly female even though their anatomy suggests otherwise? I understand this sometimes happens, that they are born this way.
i think thats a good idea.
 
October 29, 2008, 7:42 am CDT

People who have never dealt with the issue will never understand

it is easy for someone who has never dealt witht the issue to say what they "would or should do" in this situation. But speaking from first hand experience it is destructive to a childs psychy to force them (a TG child) to live a way that their mind tells them is wrong. I have aa best friend from high school who is TG. I watched as his parents tried to force him to dress and act like a boy. Everyday he would come to school depressed beyong belief. I found him one day in the bathroom with his arms cut open for crying out loud, this due to the fact that; according to his journal; he planned on killing himself because his father told him that if he did not change, he would never accept him as his son or daughter. Why is it so hard for someone to just accept another person for who they are and not how this twisted society tells us we should act. We can accept biggomists and thieves and homosexuals but we cannot accept a guy who wants to be a girl or vise versa? To try to force these people into living a lie shows you to be selfish, self-serving, hypocritical (as in the case of the gentleman from the show who argued the parents should step up), and insecure in their own standing. People should learn to just accept others and stop being so overcritical and just worry about what is going on with themselves.

 

Now to get to the parents on the show. I applaud you for supporting your children. If the parents cannot accept and support their own children who will? Now about the hormonal theropy. NO NO NO NO NOOO!!!! Absolutely Not! In some cases in fact more often then not this is just a stage that children go through when they are influenced more by the opposite sex then their own. Wait to see if your child will grow out of it first. If not after puberty this is a topic that must be discussed between the parents, child, and (i stress this point) a licensed psychiatric professional. Hormonal theropy is a life changing decission. Do not take it lightly. If you are not sure you are doing the right thing, take a look at your child, is he/she happy, or does he/she always seem to be depressed? You as the parent will know when you look at your childs emotional  well being as to whether you are doing the right thing or not.

 
October 29, 2008, 7:43 am CDT

You Are Mistaken

Quote From: mslisa158

you are so right. people are just letting the devil of this world get into their minds to make them think at a young age that they are something they are not. it is sad. very sad. i feel so sorry for these people.
People have been medically transitioning for more than 60 years! This isn't anything new. Sticking your fingers in your ears and loudly saying "Nah, nah, nah, nah" and hoping it goes away is just plain silly. For more than a century doctors tried EVERYTHING to "cure" transsexualism only to fail. They learned the hard way that the ONLT treatment that works is assisting the person to transition to their identified gender. Today there are more than 100,000 happy, well adjusted, post-operative transsexual people in North America. Transition works! I know I've been there, done that.

The problem is not the children. It's our societies lack of acceptance to the natural diversity of life. People are born with all kinds of birth conditions and this is just that, another birth condition. It has NOTHING to do with the devil. That's pure religious ignorance talking. Science has proven transsexuality exists. Read more here:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html

Religion has been used in the past against many scientific ideas:

Galileo was put under house arrest for teaching the Copernican theory.

The bible was used to support:

slavery

denying women the right to vote

against integration of the armed forces

against school integration

against inter-racial marriage


and much, much more. Judge not, lest ye be judged!
 
October 29, 2008, 7:44 am CDT

double standered

Well what about girls when i was little i loved doing all the stuff that boys did i really didn't play with any of the girls but i played a lot with the boys. And i played with the boy toys and i loved wrestling and hated dresses and skirts

 

I the view of the public it is a double standered girls are allowed to play and dress like boys but boys aren't allowed to play or dress like girls

 
October 29, 2008, 7:46 am CDT

Not Usually Useful

Quote From: rickeyterry

 Has anyone bothered to have these children geneticaly tested to see if they might be geneticaly female even though their anatomy suggests otherwise? I understand this sometimes happens, that they are born this way.
The vast majority of transgender and transsexual people have "normal" chromosomes. Only a small minority are intersex. You can r ead more, including scientific links, here:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html
 
October 29, 2008, 8:00 am CDT

It is NOT a choice

Why would someone choose a lifestyle they know will cause them strife? Why would someone choose to be hated and denied rights because of their sexuality. Sexuality is NOT a choice. It saddens me greatly to see people hate and judge people based on who they are and who they were created to be. Children are children and should not be judged or hurt because of who they are. If my daughter wants to play with typical "boy" toys that's okay with me. Because I support her for who she is. Not only does it teach our children that who they are is not okay it also teaches them that because they are this or that sex that cannot do something. Such as girls that play with army toys...my daughter could be in the military and succeed just as well as a boy. Now, as far as what the Bible says. We put to much faith in a book that was put together by men at a council where they decided what books could stay and what books had to go. Too much faith in a book that King James V had translated for his people so he could rule them in the way HE saw fit. Let children be who they are and love and support them. Quit hidding behind the bible or anything else and face the things that scare you or you don't understand.
 
October 29, 2008, 8:01 am CDT

Sex And Gender Are Two Different Things!

What your body is and what you feel you are are completely different things.
One major problem is, we say that baseball is for a boy and Barbie's are for a girl. If we would be open enough to let a girl play with whatever toy they wanted, things would be different. Don't classify a toy or activity as male and female. Any person can do it!
I am Co-Vice President for a group for trans gender and inter sexed people. We educate and fight for change.
A parent should respect their child's choice. I don't see anywhere in the Bible that says only females can wear dresses and only males can wear pants. The idea of that is just ridiculous. Plus, I was always taught that God is loving and we should love others and treat them the way they want to be treated, labeling them and telling them they are wrong and all of this you want to do IS WRONG AND AGAINST WHAT GOD TAUGHT US!
 
October 29, 2008, 8:01 am CDT

Yes! That's The Key

Quote From: taylorlpb

This may just be me but I say when they are kids let them be who they want to be, dont try to push them one way or the other. & when they get old enough to make their own decisions, such as hormones, support them what ever they want to do. It's their body, not anyone elses.

Listen to the children they know who they are! Many children to eventually accept their birth gender, but many do not. Of the ones who accept their birth gender some come out as gay later.

The usual course of treatment is to let the children be themselves. No medical intervention is required until puberty. Then puberty "blockers" can be started. Blockers do not change anything, they simply put things on hold, effectively buying the child, the parents and medical professionals more time.

Then later between 14 and 16 hormones may be started. The effects of hormones are mostly reversible.

The sometime after they turn 18 the patient may request surgery. NO SURGERY IS DONE ON CHILDREN. The patient must be of legal age.

The primary benefit of starting blockers at the onset of puberty are two-fold:

First, many children become so stressed about developing the wrong way they attempt, and sometimes succeed, suicide. It can be a living hell to watch your body betray you.

Second, it makes it much more likely that they will develop just like, and look just like, others of their identified gender. You literally cannot tell that they were once assigned a different sex at birth. This contrasts with those who transition later and usually have a number of "tells" that make them stand out. So by denying children treatment you may be dooming them to being less passable in their identified gender later. This is of great importance for those transitioning in the male-to-female direction.
 
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