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Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:51:47 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil tackles the sensitive topic of children who identify more with the opposite sex. What do you do if your son wants to wear dresses and play with dolls? Or if your daughter tells you she wants to be a boy? Should parents chock it up to being a phase that their children will grow out of, or should they intervene right away? Meet Melissa and Tim, whose 8-year-old son declared himself to be a girl when he was just 3 years old. Now, they allow their child to live as a girl and wonder if and when they should begin hormone therapy. Then, when Mary’s son was 8, he told her he felt like a girl, and Mary allowed him to experiment with dressing as a female. Now a teenager, her son is more comfortable living as a male -- but Mary wonders if she caused his confusion. Joining the discussion are experts with differing points of view: Dr. Dan Siegel, professor and clinical psychiatrist at UCLA School of Medicine, and Glenn Stanton, author and research fellow with the organization Focus on the Family. Is gender identity something we’re born with, or is it influenced by parents and environment? Don’t miss this heated discussion, then talk about the show here..

Find out what happened on the show.

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naturalone

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October 29, 2008, 7:53 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: pamelarain

Be careful..fellow Christian . that almost sounds as if implying God made a mistake with a mix up of souls???

No. That's what you are implying. It is not a question of whether God is making a "mistake." Why do people keep harping on the word mistake? I believe God gave us minds to think and be "open-minded." I believe God is loving and kind and empathetic, unlike some close-minded people on the show. So, for a child to believe that he is the opposite sex, parents should all listen, and try to understand and to explain to them that they are loved, but some people may not love them as God does, and that they should be prepared for unfair treatment. Keeping an open mind is not a sin.

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efffy_

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chillin'

October 29, 2008, 7:56 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: pamelarain

he was trying to make was that people tried to"play God" as this Dr. Money did. What happened to David Riemer was awful and shouldn't have happen.

He said he was one disgusted Canadian... une canadienne dégoûté...

And I said me too ... J'aussi...

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naturalone

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October 29, 2008, 7:57 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: crystinuviel

People are so ridiculous.

I have a news flash that I signed up just to share with all of you: I am gay. I have a perfectly happy, normal family. I was never abused, and have always been happy. And I am Christian. I did not choose this. And I retain my faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

Homosexuality is not a choice. You honestly believe that someone would choose this life? Someone would honestly, consciously choose this life of persecution and hatred at the hands of ignorant homophobes acting in name of God, when He loves all of his children no matter what they do? That is ridiculous. No one would choose such a life. I was born this way. God doesn't make mistakes, and He made me this way.

I was never abused as a child, and am offended that people would choose to believe such a thing. I've never known any gay person who was abused. But I have met straight people who were abused. How do you explain them? They were abused and didn't end up gay. Abuse is not a part of it.

As a Christian I am ashamed in those Christians who try to justify the fact that they are uncomfortable with transgendered individuals with the fact that "God didn't make a mistake." No doubt, you are right that God doesn't make mistakes, but it isn't about that. It's about comfort. It is about people understanding and reacting to the feelings that God gave them.

I wish that everyone would learn tolerance and acceptance. God loves His children, why can't you, too?

Amen to you!

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havasumoma

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October 29, 2008, 7:58 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: locksmith

Hi,

The child seemed coached by the Mother and did not speak as a child. Kids love attention from their parents and I saw this as more of a way for the child to get love and attention from the Mother. This child seems to get lots of strokes from the Mother with this behavior. So I am not sure that this is real for the child and their future?

My son saw me wearing eyeshadow when he was four and wanted to wear it too but I said no. If I made a big deal and gave him lots of attention for doing this he would probably have wanted to do it more.

What a grand over simplification of a very complex matter.

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kimjackson2857

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October 29, 2008, 8:02 pm PDT

What is wrong with you Shame on You

Dr. Phil, yet again I am amazed that you managed to do such an awful show addressing a trans related issue.

That poor family you had on there should have run the other way from you as opposed to being on your show to be humiliated by your religious rhetoric spewing guest, Glenn Stanton. Thank goodness for your one sane guest Dr. Daniel Siegel who seemed not only to understand this disorder but made the only sense on your show today. Even you, Dr. Phil were particularly moronic in your advice. The mere use of the word Confusion in the title of your show, in my opinion, makes the wrong inference from the start.

As an African American post operative M2F trans-gender woman I can sympathize so well with that family and their child. I only wish that my parents could have been as insightful as your guests were with regard to their child. It would have spared me many years of humiliation, turmoil, depression and confusion in my life. Fortunately I was able to choose early in my life to make my change..... a change that saved my life as far as I am concerned. Now, many years post op, I am so glad that I had the guts and ability to have my birth defect corrected as I have no doubt I would be dead now.

Finally, you did not in any way treat the subject, your guests or people like me with Dignity or Respect! Shame on you because once again you showed how one sided and obviously biased you are about trans-gender people and their issues!

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efffy_

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October 29, 2008, 8:05 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: havasumoma

You have muddied the waters here rather than helping folks understand. At the age of 8 this child is not concerned about who they LIKE. They are expressing who they ARE.

He was in 3rd grade when he
discovered the first sign of what was to become his life. How could he have be more
relevant? He has given us a glimpse into the future of the 8 year old
on the show. You are 8 in 3rd grade. I have an 8 year old in 3rd grade,
so this is not just idle speculation.

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efffy_

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October 29, 2008, 8:06 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: havasumoma

Excellent point!

I know but not for the reasons you think.

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jewelsf

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October 29, 2008, 8:06 pm PDT

Now I am in disagreement ......................

Quote From: havasumoma

You have muddied the waters here rather than helping folks understand. At the age of 8 this child is not concerned about who they LIKE. They are expressing who they ARE.

I disagree with you with this response. It doesn't muddy the waters at all. This person went through pretty much the same thing that the child is going through. An identity crisis. Luckily this person now knows who he/she is and is comfortable in his/her own skin. But most importantly, this person pointed out that parents had nothing to do with this and they aren't to blame. This topic should be open to all people including the ones who are now adults. If you read it thoroughly, you would have noticed that this person plans on becoming the boy/man that she has always felt she was meant to be.

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catlover514

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October 29, 2008, 8:09 pm PDT

What has happened to parenting

I can't believe this woman is giving her child hormone therapy because HE wants it. What doctor in his or her right mind would even consider it before puberty? OH MY GOD. When do we stop messing with what God has made and stop trying to manipulate people. Why doesn't this woman get in trouble for abusing her "rights" as a parent. This child has been manipulated by a woman who wanted a girl. I agree with the parents who are PARENTS and not pawns for their kids whims. Yes, this frustrated me because people have no morals or values anymore and we watch society turn to crap and we allow people to abuse everything without a second look at what they are doing to a child who will grow in to a messed up adult. EGADS.

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rainbow_veinz

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October 29, 2008, 8:14 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: kimjackson2857

Dr. Phil, yet again I am amazed that you managed to do such an awful show addressing a trans related issue.

That poor family you had on there should have run the other way from you as opposed to being on your show to be humiliated by your religious rhetoric spewing guest, Glenn Stanton. Thank goodness for your one sane guest Dr. Daniel Siegel who seemed not only to understand this disorder but made the only sense on your show today. Even you, Dr. Phil were particularly moronic in your advice. The mere use of the word Confusion in the title of your show, in my opinion, makes the wrong inference from the start.

As an African American post operative M2F trans-gender woman I can sympathize so well with that family and their child. I only wish that my parents could have been as insightful as your guests were with regard to their child. It would have spared me many years of humiliation, turmoil, depression and confusion in my life. Fortunately I was able to choose early in my life to make my change..... a change that saved my life as far as I am concerned. Now, many years post op, I am so glad that I had the guts and ability to have my birth defect corrected as I have no doubt I would be dead now.

Finally, you did not in any way treat the subject, your guests or people like me with Dignity or Respect! Shame on you because once again you showed how one sided and obviously biased you are about trans-gender people and their issues!

omg i totally agree 100% with you
i am just glad they did a show on it but it was also a pretty bad show, they didnt even really "scratch the surface" at all =/

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