Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

People have no idea of the psychological torment that GLBT kids go through when they are rejected by their families. Although it is difficult, a child can deal with bullying in school and taunts from their peers, however, to be rejected by your own family is almost too hard for anyone to overcome.  This is why the suicide rate for GLBT kids is so much higher statistically than the average.  Growing up is difficult for us all. Growing up as someone who is different is unbelievably challenging to survive with a healthy self esteem. I believe the schools need to be more pro-active in trying to support these "throw away" kids.

Transgender people who come from supportive families have statistically so much better odds at being happy than those who have no family support.

So god does not mistakes?? If god made no mistakes then why do we have crime? If god wanted that then why do we sentence these people? Why is there cancer? Why are there vaccines? If god made these then why do we make cures? They are perfect!?  Why is there plastic surgery? We are all perfect in god’s eyes. But it is what we feel inside that makes us change these things. If everyone wasn’t so judgmental I believe the statistics would be much higher.  Just like the boy said on the show he felt threatened to continue dressing as a girl.  Don’t you think that probably changed his views because of our judgmental society?  I think it is just ignorance when people think like this. I once shared these views.  Now I have met a really good friend that is transgendered and she is wonderful.  She has completely changed my views completely around.  Just sitting down with her and actually having an open mind I completely understand.  Granted it is not a life for me but it is for some.    If you are going to be all religious and follow the great book you need to read everything and not just what you want.  You are just making hypocrites out of yourselves when you just read what you want.  We all just need to open our minds and get educated on things.  If you are so into the religious aspect of things try ‘thou shall not judge.    

Watching the show yesterday, I noted that Dr. Siegel sat on stage with Dr. Paul;  while the spokesperson from Focus on the Family (with less credentials) spoke from the audience.  Was this intentional?  Because it set a tone for credibility.  I recognized defensiveness in the child's mother .. and can understand why.  She obviously is desperately seeking answers; having gone this far, how terrifying if she was given faulty advice.  If she were convinced, she would have not been so frightened .. but she was -- and almost hostile.  But I would have been, too .. in her shoes.  Probably more so!

I did not agree with Dr. Siegel's approach.  He comes across as cold and detached. Like he enjoys too much being "scientifically irrefutable".  I did not believe him. 

This has happened in my family.  My niece is now my nephew.  I see a finality of sadness in her (now him).  For years before this happened, my sister micro-managed him.. to an extreme.   Much to my protest ..

There was many mysteries in life.  We all have a limited perspective. 

But I do agree with the Focus on the Fam spokesperson, that this child is expounding very adult ideas.  Knowing how therapists can influence their patients based on their own agenda; this situation raises my antenna.  At 3?  To express such sophisticated concepts? An adult has definitely influenced this child. 

The parents are loving and truly want to do their best.  I think they've been conned by someone .. they trusted. 

The true problem society has with "gender confusion" is the same problem that society has always had with gender roles, identity, orientation, etc..., one where the belief is that the issue is black or white. I believe that gender exists as a broad spectrum. Yet society tries to force individuals to chose one side or the other, as if they exist as 2 completely seperate entities.  Every individual has stereotypical masculine and femine aspects of their personality. And let me highlight the word stereotypical. When the 8 year old child on this episode was asked when he knew he was really a she, she said it was when she hated boys clothes and saw a pair of girls sparkly purple pants she wanted, then she wanted to dance like a girl. So if this child was raised in a society where males and females dressed the same, and shared the same rolls in society, would it have even occured to them to question their gender?

   I am so frustrated by this world we live in, where you have to fit the stereotype of your gender to be accepted.  I think "gender confusion" is a problem created by a society that wants everyone to fit into their appropriate box. Just because a child is questioning those unnatural bounderies imposed by society does not me they are confused about their identity. They are just confused with what label they should select from society's very limited options of labels that we are allowed. To me it is like being multi racial but having to chose only one to identify as.

I just logged on today and don't have the time to read every single post, so I'm sorry if this is repeating somthing already said.

Did anyone else get the feeling that Dr. Phil himself was very prejudiced about the subject? I mean, just in his mannerisms, the way he spoke, he totally agreed with that Focus on the Family dimwit! It was the same thing when they had a show about gay people! He's supposed to be the person right down the middle, but he's not. He should stop doing these shows if he can't be unbiased or compassionate towards his guests. I wonder how they feel about their appearance now?

Also, that mother who's son went from wanting to be a girl to not? Give me a break! It's obvious that society forced him back into the closet. He's straight? Yeah right! Where does he dig up these people? And where does he get his statistics about 85% not being trans when they grow up? That's a load of hooey!

I am a 55 year old Post-Operative male-to-female transexual woman. I had my corrective surgery in 1981 after years of depression and attempting to exist in an 18 year marriage before the dreams of my childhood were finally realized.
Before you even introduced the "research fellow", I knew it would be a person from a Christian organization. And you sure showed your bias, especially with your final comments to the couple regarding letting their child go on hormone therapy.
Yes, the same people that gave us the Spanish Inquisition, Salem Witch hunts, and destroying Galileo! I know what they think about gays as well!
The real doctor gave you accurate information based on scientific facts. My mother took DES, thus depriving my brain of the required amount of male hormones needed to make me a full male. This is now accepted as biological fact.

At my earliest memory, maybe at 3 years old, I knew I should be a girl. Every night I prayed to my Catholic God begging Him to fix me. He didn’t. I wore my mother’s and sister’s clothing as often as I could. They understood that something was wrong. My brother and father, both “real” men hated me for my difference and did everything they could to set me straight. I became a black belt in Kenpo Karate, started on the baseball, football, tennis and track teams. I acted like a boy at the ages of 12 through 18 in public and around them But every chance I got I went to what came naturally to me… to dress and act female. I dated girls, even getting two of my girlfriends pregnant, though they had abortions. I loved them with all of my heart, but I allowed them to know to the real me. My male friends were among the toughest guys around, but they knew about me too. It was hell not being born the right sex.

I was in the program at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore MD when I met the love of my life… my wife. My breasts were already developing, but we loved one another and after a year of being together we got married. I tried being the good husband, and with my BS in Computer Science, I made a wonderful salary. She let me dress up as much as I wanted, and this helped for awhile. But, it wasn’t enough. I broke her heart when I told her in 1979 that I had to go all the way. If things had been different, I would have come out as a female and would have been well. But I had to have surgery to correct the mistake that God had made. And even though your man said God doesn’t make mistakes to great applause, tell that to the child born with a cleft pallet/club foot/external heart, etc.. Religion has no part in medicine, and the ignorance was evident throughout your show.

I suffered severe depression, attempted suicide, and finally went back to experts in the field who were able to help me achieve peace at last in my life.

Having the surgery in 1981 was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I thank the doctors and God for allowing me to be who and what I was meant to be.  I am now a female and a woman who is accepted as a female and a woman.  If doctors knew then what they know now, they could have saved me dozens of years of pain and sorrow.

Glenn Stanton has no background in medicine, psychiatry, or even psychology. His master's degree is in interdisciplinary humanities with an emphasis in philosophy, history and religion. Clearly he is not qualified to be making statements and judgements about GID.