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Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:51:47 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil tackles the sensitive topic of children who identify more with the opposite sex. What do you do if your son wants to wear dresses and play with dolls? Or if your daughter tells you she wants to be a boy? Should parents chock it up to being a phase that their children will grow out of, or should they intervene right away? Meet Melissa and Tim, whose 8-year-old son declared himself to be a girl when he was just 3 years old. Now, they allow their child to live as a girl and wonder if and when they should begin hormone therapy. Then, when Mary’s son was 8, he told her he felt like a girl, and Mary allowed him to experiment with dressing as a female. Now a teenager, her son is more comfortable living as a male -- but Mary wonders if she caused his confusion. Joining the discussion are experts with differing points of view: Dr. Dan Siegel, professor and clinical psychiatrist at UCLA School of Medicine, and Glenn Stanton, author and research fellow with the organization Focus on the Family. Is gender identity something we’re born with, or is it influenced by parents and environment? Don’t miss this heated discussion, then talk about the show here..

Find out what happened on the show.

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trueyou2

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October 29, 2008, 3:18 pm PDT

god made humans

Quote From: cutiebun48

Dr.Phil i totally disagree with the dr. If God wanted to be a boy or a girl he would have created them that

way.

. Those parents are so wrong to bring up a child that way. That is not normal. The brain has nothing to do with want you want to be. God does not MISTAKES

Everyone is created equal under the eyes of god...if your brain does not control who you want to be, how come we are able to choose our own professions? No, god, does not make mistakes but genetics can go wrong! Look at all the different types of "mistakes" down-syndrome, Cystic fibrosis, Duchenne muscular dystrophy, Hemophilia, if god was perfect why do these things exist?! So what you're telling me, that it's the parents' fault, that they should yell at the child, keep them around boy "girl" things, beat them, mentally, physically? Or should the parent love and cherish their child, who god gave them as is? You tell me, if this happened to you if you had a child, what would you do to make sure that that child stayed the sex, he was born with? I guess, you're also saying that people aren't born gay? Since, you're a genius on this subject, how do you suppose we should handle these situations?

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mommomt

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Happy

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October 29, 2008, 3:18 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: perrin

Who are all of you or myself to judge the way these parents are raising their kids? I guess that when my 3 kids were born that I missed the line for the owners' manuals. Parenting is a hard job. Noone knows all the answers! If one of my kids came to me and said they felt transgender, I would not go out and buy them opposite sex clothing at 3. That's not, in my opinion, the right way to go. Let them grow and discover who they are though in a loving and supportive way.

The couple at the end who are raising their children to be "as macho as possible" are guilty of doing what they accused the others of doing. They said that the parents were to blame for pushing them into being a certain way. What are THEY doing but forcing their kids to be something they may not be. They are forcing their boys to be as in the photos, football players. What if they'd rather be in ballet? What if they're in the locker room looking at the other boys? What are they going to do then? I'd guess, and it is just a guess, that this kid would be disowned or shunned by these closed-minded parents.

I'm embarrassed to be human sometimes. We as a people use what information is out there to our own ends. The bible says homosexuality is a sin. It also says "judge not." What are we doing but sitting in judgement of our fellow man on a daily basis? These people who say that God made a mistake are wrong. God doesn't make mistakes! However, the religious groups are wrong to judge. "God works in mysterious ways" is one of the oldest statements I know of. Who are these people to say that transgender is God's mistake? Who are these people to say that these gay, bi, lesbian and transgender people are not exactly the way that God intended.

For those of you who think that you know what God meant to do, I can only say that this is the summit of arrogance and you should be as embarrassed as I am to be a member of the species at times like this!

Well said.

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bonnierein1960

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Happy

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October 29, 2008, 3:18 pm PDT

direct line to god

Quote From: efffy_

Is there anyone that has a problem with this subject other then what they think god thinks?

yes yes and yes. I don't know their Jesus or GOD. It's not the one I know and believe. And I will never presume that i , as a simple human being, could begin to believe i can speak for GOD. How arrogant! Next thing we'll read is some preacher wanting to do an exorcisim. Give me a break. I wish those people would just shut up unless they have something loving to say........

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mommy_312

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Stressed

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October 29, 2008, 3:20 pm PDT

Why can't we stop God vs. Proven Science...

I am a Christian, but why is it that people have to imply... YOU ARE WRONG, BECAUSE GOD SAID SO. I want to see where in the bible it says, hey you can't feel different than how you were physically created. What about children born with both parts, are they wrong for choosing what gender they feel like and act that way? There has been people born with external gender parts (an under-developed penis with no scrotum) and inside the opposite sex parts (under-developed ovaries). What is this person supposed to do, what if the inside anatomy hormones take over but on the outside physically they are a male. When a fetus is created things are developed wrong everyday... clefts in the heart, missing parts in the body and sometimes brain, people born physically one person but inside she is 2 (watch Discovery Health Channel, I am my own twin) and I have 2 brain stems ... can't people feel like there was a mistake in their making without being called a sinner?

I agree with these parents... I am a new parent, but now new to people who are confused about their

gender and sexuality. I know a girl who carries herself and calls herself a male, but she is not gay. She is married to a bisexual male and they have 2 beautiful boys. Their life may sound confusing, but if you saw the family... you might realize it is not all that confusing. What is confusing about supporting your child in all ways. WE ARE TOLD ALL THE TIME, SUPPORT YOUR CHILDREN IN ALL WAYS!!! I guess when we are told that we missed the small print... IF IT IS WEIRD... DON'T SUPPORT YOUR CHILD THEN... YOU ARE THE PARENT IF YOU SUPPORT YOUR CHILD IN A WEIRD WAY IS WRONG AND YOU ARE NOT ACTING LIKE A PARENT, BUT SUPPORT YOUR PARENTS IN ALL WAYS. To me that is more confusing that the life of a family with a transgender child.

Again, please show me in the Bible where it talks about physical and hormonal issues. I have never found it and I have been forced to read the Bible a couple times. Oh, I forgot if you are the type of a Christian who interpreters the Bible to fit your point of view... than you are the type that made me have the Bible shoved down my throat. And Focus on the Family supports THAT kind of person.

I am saved, I love God... I hate when people say that science is wrong against God's will. You don't know everything through God, because you aren't him. He gave us the ability to study hormones, anatomy, neurology, and biology of the human body. If he didn't want to prove how all this works and figure out human body challenges... then he would not have given us the ability. If things are proven and someone can show you the proof... would you still say, that is wrong against God. Everyone can have their own beliefs, yes, but don't think your faith is knowledge.

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geauxtigers

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October 29, 2008, 3:21 pm PDT

Come on people...

This is 100% up to the parents. It is their responsibility to raise the child as they see fit. I think the lady on today's show was not raised properly by HER parents, hence she having the parental skills of a moron.

The boy's father seems to have his head on straight, he's just being bullied by his wife.

I feel sorry for the kid and the longer they let him pose as a girl, the more messed up he will be in the long run. FIX IT NOW!!! When he's older he'll barely remember. Seriously, how many specific memories do you have of when you were 8?

Exactly.

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blacktop67

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Happy

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October 29, 2008, 3:22 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: lynm81

My ex husband is transgender. He came out and said he felt like a woman when I was five months preg with our daughter. I know it can be hard and confusing.. Believe me there are times I want to smack him uplike the head and say "YOUR A BOY!!!!" But you cant..

Really it's all about individuality... What you feel and know is right..... God does not make mistakes... This is true.. and on that same note... Because God doesnt make mistakes... What we feel and what we know we are are completely normal.. because GOD MADE US in his image. If an 8 year old boy looks in the mirror and sees Diana instead of Dan..... God made him/her that way...... Why?? I dont know.. I'm not God... I would never presume to think that I know what is in Gods mind..... But weither you are Transgender, or gay... or a crossdresser or straight or whatever you are... GOD made you like that... and you should hold your head up and be PROUD of who you are!!!

On another note.... do I think it's appropriate for said 8 year old to be on hormones?? No.... I think it would be best to wait until that child is of legal age..... But both that child and the parents should understand the steps needed to be taken.. and also understand and make the schools and community aware of things.... if Dave wants to be Diana..... and is LIVING as Diana... then he should be Diana at schools as well.....

That's my two cents.

There's one thing you missed when making your stance for God. He was, is, and will always be against sexual indiscressions. This includes lesbian, gay, multiple partners, orgies, infidelity, and the like. The Bible speaks clearly that God does not and will not tolerate these things (Genesis 19 - Sodom & Gomorrah). There is nothing new under the sun, these supposed diseases were present in the days of old - the difference then to now you might ask - Godly parents raising their family in church and not AFRAID to have their child mad at them because they "directed their paths" and said NO!!! Think about it.

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tiggerst67

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Peaceful

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October 29, 2008, 3:24 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: cutiebun48

Dr.Phil i totally disagree with the dr. If God wanted to be a boy or a girl he would have created them that

way.

. Those parents are so wrong to bring up a child that way. That is not normal. The brain has nothing to do with want you want to be. God does not MISTAKES

What is normal? Define normal. Completely define it. I bet there are FEW who would fit into your category of normal. I would like for you to explain all the cleft palates, limb deformity, congenital heart defects, are they spontaeous generation? I have a feeling your reply might be that it is nature, not God. What is the difference between all the birth defects I just listed and gender dysphoria? One thing....gender dysphoria is not immediately evident at birth, and is not recognized as a physical defect, but it should be.

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jay_em

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Bored

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October 29, 2008, 3:25 pm PDT

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: efffy_

Is there anyone that has a problem with this subject other then what they think god thinks?

My problem is why every is so wrapped up in what they think god thinks, did NO ONE actually listen to the stupidity that Glen character was saying. It was so hopeless, irrelevent, and in the case of boy who committed suicide, completely WRONG!! He disregarded all scientific evidence and warped the horrific situation into something that agreed with his views!

It was a bad move to put this man on the show. All he did was confirm the crude beliefs of the majority of Americans, and anger a lot of rational and informed people.

-- une canadienne dégoûté

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cuptea42

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Happy

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October 29, 2008, 3:25 pm PDT

These parents should be ashamed....

This mother has changed or made it possible for her son to become a daughter, which is obviously what she wants................a daughter.
Her husband and father of this BOY, has not the where-with-all to stand up for him. The wife in the audience that stated "the child does not have an income"....put it right as to who is responsible for dressing up this child and giving credence to HIM to become a girl. This arrangement can do more harm than good, as I see it, and I hope that nothing damaging comes from this for the child. If the mother has her way, the child is in for more problems and it would seem to me that someone should step in for the child to get help. The mother is obviously taking the ball, excuse the wording, and running with it.
This is the first time I have ever came forward to voice my opinion on a televised matter of family. This truly upset me and my wife bore witness to that.........
I pray that the husband will get some hormones of his own and step forward for his son.

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thefreak2

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angry

October 29, 2008, 3:25 pm PDT

The Truth

How dare you bring more hardship and disassociation to transgenders all over this nation with this uneducated, unqualified, Stanton who claims to be a representative of Christianity.

He blindly states a tactic as if it has never in history, been tried before. He is completely ignorant to the fact that many trans kids as early as 2 years old, can tell you what their gender really is--contrary to their outward genitals. God made me exactly the way I am. Remember that God visits the iniquities of our forefathers up to 4 generations. We are the consequences of their iniquities.

No one in their right mind would ever choose to be transgendered and go through expensive and very risky surgeries and a total life of hell just because they had some
off-the-wall desire or fetish.

"As Nature Made Him" depicts the entire tragedy of how, John Money's Nurture vs Nature theory was a total mistake. Nurture doesn't make a person's gender. Both twins committed suicide and all based on a theory which, of course was false. Parents for millennia have tortured, beaten, exiled and psychiatrically, attempted to change their children into being what gender their genitals designated. This has and never will work. Many intersexed children's gentials, at birth and without their consent, have been mutilated in the name of making their genitals match
society's preconceived notions of what genitals should look like and you all question whether a child should be allowed to knowingly pursue sex reassignment or even hormones?

God says that Thou Shall Not Bear False Witness! I am transgendered/intersexed. I had a twin that died during our fetal development which dowsed me with the wrong hormone. I have refused all of my life to act or be something I was not. I told my parents at age 3 that I was a male
and not what my genitals dictated. I went through hell with unnecessary beatings and forced behaviors, but I refused to be forced.

I was finally able to get a loan at age 35 in order to change my sex. I spent 35 long years of my life trying to get a career and/or job to save to get my body changed. It was either change my body or die.

For 25 years of my life, I never knew that there was a name for what I was and all I knew is that I had to have those organs removed no matter what, so that I could at least, die in peace. Now, after I have transitioned into the closest bodily form to my brain's gender, I still can't get jobs or keep them due to people from my past feeling it necessary to warn everyone that a freak is in their domain and has fooled
them. My life has been of under payed, unemployment, schooling and retraining and living without even the most basic human needs just because I was born with a defect that society can't live with. I have been made to look like a total fool in every job I have ever had.

My defect is not covered by insurance nor do I have any human rights or protections for being transgendered.

Also, allow me to provide an example of how the medical community has and still does treat transgenders. Robert Eades died in 1999 in a pool of blood with no pain killers nor medication. He was turned down for treatment by over 30 physicians of his ovarian cancer because he was
transgendered. When he first went on hormones to transition, he asked his doctor to remove his internal genitals, but the doctor advised against it. The result was that the testosterone perpetuated the PCOS, but it was too late.

In 2003, TWO transgendered people were murdered every month. If you people really hate us that much, then shoot us at age 2 when you can confirm that we are transgendered, or stop breeding, so that the world does not have to live with us.

The Freak 2

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