Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

I totally agree! BUT! That's not good enough for most. Unfortunately , the assumption is made nowadays that if you disagree with someone's actions you automatically hate the person. It makes them feel better if you look like an evil narrow-minded ogre. Make sure you don't express your disapproval with anything else your kids do either. Don't want to be accused of spewing hate speach.

I may not have any children but I know enough from watching my nieces and nephews being raised, that children are not always going to WANT whats best for them, let alone KNOW whats best for them. Some parents censor the things their children watch on TV because certain things are just not appropriate for their age, why should any one allow their child to decide their sex, when it is clearly already pre determined. I can sympathize with the mothers saying that none of us know what its like because we don't have to deal with the sobbing children fearful a young age they are going to have to grow up to be something they don't want, but at the same time in adult hood you do not always want the same things that you wanted in adolescence. I think the best thing to do for these children is to raise them as the sex they were born and be persistent with the children identity matched clothing and toys, because in the end the child will end up doing what they want as adults any how. Explaining to them that as long as they are children they will be as they are suppose to be and if they feel the same when they are adults they can make that choice, which is neither accepting or rejecting the true identity of the child.

 God Loves everyone including the ignorent ones like you....

This, to me, reminds me of a bossy friend I had who had a bossy mother. She threw fits to have makeup etc. and usually got what she wanted just for her mother to appease her. BINGO...

Emotional and Life Skill Education K-12 "daily" class since parents cannot teach what they have not learned. Such as boundaries.

As a child, I was a tomboy and I suppose there can be the gender equivalent in boys. My dad thought cute which likely facilitated to some degree. I beat all the boys in cub scout events with complaints from boys' parents so I was excommunicated from cub scouts. Tossed football with my dad. Use to want to be a Physical Education teacher.

I think mainly, more than gender confusion, I'd made the oxygenating brain connection that I felt better being more active than sitting around running up Barbie doll stock playing with silly dolls. I liked pants since I didn't have to worry about my panties showing.

Of course, at age 5, I wanted to be a medical research scientist. Games my mother taught us were Scrabble and think games such as seeing who could figure out diagnosis on Ben Casey first.

I can see that a little boy unable to untie apron strings attached to would confuse the feel good rush cooking with wanting to be a girl. To me, it seemed the little boy noticed, "Hey, if I'm not a boy I don't have to mow the lawn like dad does. I'd rather be making chocolate chip cookies with mommy and stuffing my feelings too." Which, by the way, looked like both moms had sampled quite a few. I don't mean that as an insult. I mean that, like Dr. Phil said on another show, that rarely is the problem one person in a family and is the family dynamics and FAMILY COUNSELING is needed.

However, I also wanted to take tap dance, like my dad took, instead of ballet like my mother enrolled me in. I lived through taking ballet instead. Mother insisted on ballet and I appreciate because taught me endurance. Ballet is NOT for sissies whatsoever and even football players use in training now.

Often people in church choir or band, instead of sports, are made fun of then later those who made fun of them are buying albums and CD's or concert tickets of those who were in choir or band.

I wanted to play trumpet or clarinet and should have not stopped piano to be friends with bossy girl I spoke of above. A bad childhood career choice of mine. Yes, I'm sorry I got my way. I'm saying, parents choices for children are more educated and it isn't for any child to dictate what clothes he/she will wear.

What's up with any child wearing earings and makeup to school anyway? I believe uniforms should be required. No makeup and no earings. In fact, in the light of "rainbow parties" I believe in all boy and all girl schools. America produces too much junk that ends up in the landfill from stupid toys parents in audience were sold on for "boys to be boys" to stupid toys that are mainly for the benefit of marketers thereof.

I think there is FAR too much focus on sexuality and it has everyone needing to pull their heads, not only out of the sand, and out of their pants. Sexuality is for reproduction. I mean, really, Dr. Phil should do a show on "Rainbow Parties" exploitation of young girls that evolved after the Starr Report.

To me it looked as if both moms on stage were prima donnas and no surprise that their sons wanted to eat cookies instead of mow the lawn. What kid doesn't? Well, a child that isn't taught to be self-centered wants to help their dad instead of running in to hang on apron strings baking cookies instead. And, a child of either gender should help with dishes and household chores inside as well. Both these are helpful to know as an adult for BOTH genders. Get real everyone this IS 2008.

It doesn't make a child gender confused to help one or the other parent and it is called co-parenting to encourage a child to be proficient in all chores. Actually, both girls and boys need to know how to know how to cook, clean, do self-defense, mechanics and simple home repairs and should be taught in high schools. Parents cannot teach what they have not learned...

No surprise, that a child who knows mom has control of chocolate chip cookies might want to help her more than mow the yard so can stuff feelings. To me, both moms looked bossy, and even if only on a subconscious level, feminized their boys since wanted a daughter. Schools use to say girls couldn't wear pants to school. Those of us of that generation lived through not wearing pants even on cold days.

I am so tired of persons wanting to draw out of the lines then get their emotions in a twist if anyone notices. Please........ That entitlement to do whatever I please of eight year old's mom is all that is being emulated by her son. You can change the label to transgender or whatever yet at its core it is a lack of clear set boundaries. "That's okay..." Well, everything isn't okay and best to learn that young... True, you don't have to guilt child and just say that's how it is and you WILL live through it. There's lots of things we all do we'd rather not do. I lived without a chemistry set.

To me, started because little boy didn't want to help his father with chores. That, in fact, IS what the little boy said. With an over bearing over protective bossy mom that both husbands go along with to get along and appease. There you have it. Many children would rather be appeased... just like mommy or daddy or both if both play each other to get their way.

That doesn't mean insult child yet, good grief, don't go out and buy girls clothes, makeup etc. Use to little girls weren't suppose to get into mother's makeup since HERS and "might" get to begin wearing at age 16. They all lived to wait until age 16. Living within means would be A LOT easier without all the "girly girl" accessories that doesn't make anyone more a girl except in some societal propaganda marketing ploy. Boundaries are not gender specific...

Also, there are Big Brothers and Big Sisters if parents are so tuned out cannot provide a balanced mentally healthy environment that embraces the beauty of both genders. We cannot always run to mommy if we don't want to do chores... Everyone wants to be special... so these moms created special boys that ONLY they understand to feel special themselves...

It is a co-dependent unhealthy relationship that both husbands are at "stand down" since married to bossy overbearing prima donna women. Impulse control problems. Fairly obvious with the way one woman told off doctor in the audience... and that was in public, so imagine behind closed doors.

Oh, and BTW, a lot of macho men are at their core prima donnas beneath rough exterior aka bossy bullies. Most get that way from being appeased by one or both parents. Yet, roll the tape... the young boy noticed he didn't want to be a boy to ditch doing chores with his dad to bake cookies instead.

It might have been cute and endearing to his mom yet isn't anymore. SHE has brainwashed and/or appeased her child instead of parenting. Children don't tell us what is best for them... we guide children into the paths we know are there to TEACH the best direction for children to proceed. Perhaps, since many of us learned the hard way by experience as well.

Why set up a child to learn the hard way when we know how to guide a child in a more user friendly path, via our own experience. Except to set up children to learn the hard way, too. Usually, in your face parent(s) like that, raise children who feel the world must revolve around their every whim. Yet, it isn't the end of the world to learn that the world doesn't revolve around any ONE of us. Boundaries, like borders, are there to lessen confusion and create order.

The reason for the drama is the in your face disregard by bossy and/or shameless people that want the rest of the world to appease them to get their way. Even... EVEN if making hard on self and others and infringing on the rights of others as if, somehow, if cannot get way EVERY time that's a personal insult. No, that's life. That's a crock to push the envelope over trivialities blowing out of proportion to get way even if not in person's best interest.

Dr. Phil said spoiled children grow up to be out of control adults. That's what I saw in both women raising children wanting to get their way even if not in their best interest. Both their husbands in stand down mode going along to get along and not suffer their wives' wrath. The cycle continues...

Since obesity is rising among children my suggestion is back away from the video games and Barbie dolls and begin conserving, recycling and donating. FAMILY FIRST "one for all all for one" since life is a team effort. Join the team focusing on the big picture. Not only is there only one you. There is only one earth. Is it in Holland where at one time boys and girls wore the same hair style so they'd see their similarities more than their differences. IDK Make household chores fun and family events. Life is too short to stress over another gender's toys and gender clothes being the end of the world if you can't have.

There was a woman in government that said that Freud was wrong that women wanted the genital paraphernalia men have and instead just wanted the plumbing rights. To me, looked like the youngest boy wanted the kitchen rights of his mom and to ditch helping his dad with chores. Well, that's what he said that he decided he didn't want to be a boy when his dad wanted him to help with chores.

Emotional and Life Skill Education K-12 "daily" class since parents cannot teach what they have not learned. Such as boundaries. Since our EQ's are as important as our IQ's. We don't wear a bathing suit in the cold because it physically hurts so why dress in an opposite gender style if hurts emotionally. It is like not walking in a sticker patch because it will hurt. It is common sense and NOT deprivation unless a child is taught it is.

Recycle Momma of Dallas, M.D.*
(Managing Depression (with a smile))
Motto:
Improve Earth and Children's Fate
Conserve, Recycle and Donate
You, Me, WE recycling...

when one has to turn to right wing extremist organisations such as Focus on the Family to find so-called counter arguments to allowing children to take a role in guiding their development and interests. While I am not opposed to responsible parenting and being cautious when it comes to how children express their inner feelings and desires, completely denying such simple things as toy selection is simply rediculous.

I found it most interesting that the Focus on Family representative referred to the first couple's child as "she" when his very position is that the child is, and should be treated as, a boy.

The argument that parents should "protect" their children is all well and good, but we must take care not to shelter our children out of fear that "things will happen". The truth is, that if kids grow up too sheltered, the reality of things happening later in life will only make the adjustment more difficult and put them at increased risk of mental illness and substance abuse issues. Just because things do happen, does not mean that they should be happening.

 

Should parents be "protecting" their children and allowing the status quo to be maintained so that small minds and narrow attitudes may prevail? I think not.

i have to say i think in this show not every point of view has been considered. Dr. Phil said that only 20 % of transgendered children grow up to be transgendered adults, but he didnt mention that a huge percentage of transgendered adults say they knew from a very young age that they were different. That 20% that does grow up to be transgendered makes up about 90% of the population of transgendered adults. I dont think Dr Phil showed that side at all. i hate to say it, but in this show Dr Phil let his own conservative beliefs shade his questioning. I think a transgendered adult should have been added to the conversation. So much of the conversation was based on discussion of how or what the child would grow up to be, & i think a first-hand opinion from a happy, healthy transgendered adult would have added an important side to the debate.
 also, i don't believe bringing David Reimer into this particular discussion is appropriate. He was raised as the opposite sex without his knowledge or consent, because of an accident that destroyed his penis as a baby. He never professed to feel differently than the sex he was born with, as the children in this show did. it is a completely different subject.

thats right you took the words right out of my mouth!!!

I must say that I'd like to slap that mother.  What is she doing calling her son 'she'? 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for supporting kids in the decisions they make, but decisions of this magnitude should not be left in a childs hands . At 8 years old, there is no way this boy is even aware of the magnitude  .

A parents job is to shape their children into a well adjusted beings with the knowledge of how to make a proper decision and the responsibility of being able to live with that decision.  This woman is not doing that.  She and her husband are considering drugs to help their son become a girl...How about getting him the drugs he needs to stay what he is...A BOY! 

She seriousally needs to pull her head out of her ass.

The main problem here is that society has made being a homosexual accecptable.

I'm not saying that it isn't, because a persons sexual preferance doesn't matter.  What does matter is kids who are confused by their gender have basically been told by all sorts of media that it's the' in' thing.

Drug therepy may be the answer for this boy.  Male hormones may be what he needs to get the connection in his brain where they should be. 

His mother seems to be the one that is confused.  She seems to want him to be a girl.

He's just playing along.

God rather have children live in shame about who they are, and be at risk of depression, drug abuse and/or suicide when they get older?

Your right, parents have the most influence in their children's life, so why not give them the most solid foundation in being supportive of them no matter what?

It sounds like you would rather the parents scare their children by shaming them with threats of "God" judging them one day. That is so wrong, in so many ways. That's very sad, and I would feel for any child who is threatened in such a manner.