Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

I am quite bothered by the fact that the person from "Focus on the Family" brought up David Reimer. He was a Canadian who, after a horrible accident when he and his brother were being circumsised at the age of 8 months, was left with no sexual organ. A sexologist from John Hopkins, Dr. John Money, convinced his parents to raise him as a girl. Using what happened to this person, David Reimer, was completely inappropriate as it does NOT prove his point. If you want more information on this case you can look David Reimer up by name or use the words "John/Joan case" as this is what Dr. Money called his "experiment" with these poor chilren!

This is obvious brainwashing if you look deeper.  This child is not saying they want to do it due to any ATTRACTION to the same sex.  That is a different issue than a child who liked a female outfit.  The mother is putting make up on an eight year old child.  Most parents would never permit make up for a female eight year old.  I understand what you are saying but it is really different if you look deeper.

 I TOTALLY AGREE,THESE BIBLE BASHER ARE ENOUGH TO DRIVE THESE YOUNG KIDS AND TEENAGERS,TO SUICIDE,DRUGS AND GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT ELSE.MY DAUGHTER IS 17 AND SHES GAY,I TOTALLY BACK HER IN WHAT EVER IT IS THAT MAKES HER HAPPY,I WARNED HER THAT PEOPLE MAY BE HARD ON HER,THAT PEOPLE CAN BE REALLY CRUEL,BUT I WOULD LOVE HER AND BACK HER NO MATTER WHAT SHE DECIDES,PEOPLE SHOULD JUST EXCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE AND WORRY ABOUT THEIR OWN LIFES ,AND KEEP THEIR NOSE OUT OF EVERYONE ELSES BUISNESS.

I am sad because a lot of the Messages on this topic is so negative, hateful, and just plain mean.

I have been there and done that...I did not know how my son would turn out but he is a straight A's Student, he is involved in Student Council, Project Search, and Junior Classmens. 

His journey started about 2 and half years old...he started watching a lot movies and he would act them out, dress up as the actress mostly and he would want dolls from the movies so he could act them out.  He was the Wicked Witch of the West when he was 3 years old and I thought it was cute.  But of course the father had other opinions on it, but he didn't live in the house with us so he really didn't have a say in what was going on with him in my house.  My son played with doll houses also.  But it came to be a passion of designing the room.  He wanted to be a interior designer then it became a designer for houses then a Real Estate Sales.  I think they should explore everything they possible could get their hands on...because it does frame them into adult.  Just love them no matter what...counts the most and they will always feel this and know that you are there for them.  Because of all that..they will be confidence enough to be what they truly want to be in life...HAPPY!

How about we put away our personal beliefs for two seconds and look at the scientific facts.
This has nothing to do with God. Those statements are from people intergrating their own personal religious beliefs into something that should be dealt with with rational scientific knowledge. 

And all of that is even beside the point when we think about  how this has been PROVEN already. with an experiment on an actual child.

Why has everyone been ignoring the David Reimer case?

THIS CASE PROVES THE GENDER IS ASSIGNED BY NATURE NOT NURTURE.
David was born a boy but had his genitals removed accidentally by circumcision. A psychiatrst (Dr John Money) then went on with his sexual reassignment experiment trying to prove that gender can be shaped by parents and outside influences. So the parents raised him as a girl (Brenda) and focused on making him wear only dresses and playing only with girl toys. His frequent visits to Dr.Money were also mainly composed of the doctor trying to convinvce him that he's a girl. Around 8 David started to reject being female and admitted that he identified as a male. He ended up changing back into one. Through all of this he was severely depressed and attempted suicide. In the end, he ended up taking his own life.

This proves that you can not 'fix' your childs gender by encouraging them to be a certain way.

If that were true than transgendered people wouldn't exist.
I know someone personally even whose mother made him wear dresses and painted his room pink and such allthrough childhood yet he never felt like a girl.

These are people who were born in the wrong body. They feel disgusted and uncomfortable with their own boddies until they make their transistion.
I wish more people could understand what is really going on with this issue.

 

BIOLOGY OF LIFE IS NOT SO BLACK AND WHITE AS SOME MAY WISH! 

 

JUST BECAUSE YOU WISH IT, DOES NOT MAKE IT SO!

 

However, religion does not allow for variation and challenges its followers to choose sides to show allegiance.  Thus, innocent children are often the pons and casualties in the game of selecting "sides"

 

I speak from very real personal experience!

 

Today, I am a masculine man of 57 years, but in my early years, as early as I could ever recall, I wanted to be a "girl" and grow up a woman.

 

I grew up in a strict religious household.  I was 3rd of 5 sons and thus was expected to fall in line in all ways. 

 

But I was different.  Emotionally, mentally, socially, and even physically.  At 6, I was a very pretty boy and when I dressed up in womens clothing and applied makeup added hats and high-heels, I felt pretty and feminine and I loved it. 

 

My mother, encouraged my interest; taught me cooking, cleaning, sewing, fashion and other home making skills.  As early as I can remember, I had dolls at an early age, china tea sets, and dress-up gowns.  My parents would attend many social functions and I loved watching my mom dress for the evening, imagining that someday I would do the same. 

 

I idolized my mom and avoided my father as much as he avoided me.  However we never had anything in common because I hated sports, hunting, fishing, etc and he didn't know what to do with me.  He put all his time into my older brothers because he didn't know how to love me as I was.  He died this past May and I did not attend his funeral because we had no connection.

 

But the real conflict of my life began when my older brothers started taunting me, belittling, and de-valuing me as a human being and their brother.  And then they told their friends and school mates that I acted like a girl at home.  After 2rd grade I was confronted and beaten weekly by school kids until my teen years.  My  older brother has been horrible to me for my entire life and I now find peace in severing all ties with him.

 

When I was 12, I came to realized that I might be killed by one of these confrontation someday.  I was certainly threatened many times.  People were so cruel and full of hate towards me.  When my family moved to a new community at age 12, for my survival, I tried to start fresh.  I got rid of all my feminine trappings, tried to fill my time with art and music and geography and history studies. 

 

However, to this day, I still see myself inside as I once did as a child.  It is a part of who I am.

 

I like who I am today, tho' some think I have feminine interest (interior designer) but I now have confidence in myself and know who I am.  I am now at peace with myself, tho' it has been a long process.

 

But every Halloween, it all comes back and I get to be a "girl" for the night.

 

No, I'm not a cross-dresser.  I don't desire to wear womens clothes or need to wear them for sexual gratification.

 

And no, I'm glad I never became a transsexual.  I like my equipment just fine the way it is.

 

But maybe someday people will open their minds to variation, gray instead of black & white, or alternative ways of thinking.

 

Some of the religious "wingnuts" on the show made me furious!  "FOCUS ON THE FAMILY"?  GIVE ME A BREAK!  I hope they don't subject their children to the harsh words they spoke.  It is all about hatred.  And how will the parents react when they find later in life that their child couldn't talk to them because they knew how they would be judged.

 

WAKE UP PEOPLE!  One of the best parts of nature is the infinite variety.  Instead of hating it, celebrate it!

 

 

 

 

 

I was anticipating today's show because I have had my own questions at times about my 8 year old son. He has two older sisters and when he was 3 and 4 he would often say he wanted to be a girl. I found this most often happened when he wanted to do things or play with things his sisters were doing. If they were putting on nail polish he wanted to also. Barrettes in the hair, he wanted some. When he was 3, I would paint one of his nails with very light polish and gently say that boy's don't wear nail polish but let's do just one. Really what he wanted was to be included and soon enough his rough playing in the dirt, in the yard, wore that polish right off. I was concerned when he started telling me about once a month that when he grew up he was going to be a girl. This got a bit of a reaction from me so he would repeat it for effect until he was about 6. His father was of the mind to be very macho about it all ---no dolls, no polish! When the girls had doll houses and he wanted one so badly , we built him a log cabin and outfitted it with cowboys and farm animals. When he wanted a baby doll we got him one and he played daddy. At 6 years old he started playing soccer, then baseball, then football. He made friends at school and in the neighborhood and to this day he spends most of his free time outside with his male friends riding skateboards, ripsticks, bikes, or playing pretend games like army fort. We laugh and say in that proud way, he’s all boy and he is. He doesn’t ask me to put nail polish on anymore,  he doesn’t even think about it.  I am sharing this because I think it is crucial for other mom’s out there maybe experiencing these sorts of things for the first time to know that it is pretty normal for a 3 year old to want to do trans gender things. I am thankful for my friends who I could reach out to at a time when I wondered if  maybe my son had one of those brains spoken of on the show that is somewhere in the middle or maybe he would grow up and say to me that he always knew he was a girl trapped in a boy's body. My reaction was to play the middle of the road, none of that macho “not my son” stuff and none of that oh let’s go out and buy you a pretty dress right away stuff because I always wanted another girl! Whatever he decides in the future will be okay with me also, because by then he will be older and he will be telling me, not I telling him. All mother's want to nurture what is the essence of their child's individuality but at the same time we want to protect them from the cruelties of the world. I understand why the mom’s on the show have been so supportive of their children but have to wonder at least in the first mother’s case how much of that child’s gender confusion was actually brought on by the parent. I do hope no surgical procedures are done until the child is a legal adult.

Have you ever asked him if and how old he was when he was abused.  People do not really change but circumstances people do not invite like abuse happen upon them.  I am not saying this is what happened but it's always worth "an ask" to really know the entire transformation of feelings and if there were outside factor's that caused unplanned differences that are embarrassing and hurt forever.

i dont think a 3 year old can actually determine what gender is, and so i dont think they can say i want to be a girl/boy. they r only 3 !! its like child progodies, they r pushed to much and so its like them saying oh sure i do want to do this but really it was the parents urging to say it, it wasnt in there heart but there parents.

and when they grow up transgender is like being gay, if a boy was a girl and he marries a girl when hes older well thats being gay same with being born a boy. it was adam and eve not adam and steve !!

and how can any one question god ?? god made a mistake....i dont think so, thats a lil harsh.

when ppl say a person is just born gay, ppl cant be born gay its the same when ppl say ppl r born smokers, u dont see a baby born with a ciggertte in his mouth do u ??

lik OMG !!

like the poor kids what they have to deal with in this world today, there is alot of peer presure !!

and so im saying it is sort of the parents fault because they arnt wreaing there kids straight.

 

 

 

I have just finished watching this segment on your show Dr. Phil. I can't even imagine what the parents are going through-however they are the parents. If a child wanted to see the edge of a railing closer of a building that was at nine stories high-would they just let the child do it?
Parents have a role and they will be responsible for how they are guiding their children. There was a statement made by this childs' dad on one halloween the child was dressed as a girl in kindergarten-wouldn't that have spiraled this? Wasn't it the mother that dressed their child in that way?
A simple moment can cause a major effect-God doesn't make mistakes-people do.