Quote From: nikkidaneInteresting show, however, I think you should have given more time for scientic fact. The most recent scientic studies point to a genetic basis for Transexuality. This is clearly a condition with a biological etiology. To imply that somehow the parents are at fault is both absurd as well as a terrible load of guilt to inflict on parents of Transgender children and adults. I am Transgender and I grew up with 2 brothers and a sister with the same parents. None of them are Trans. In my case, it had nothing to do with how I was raised.
Human Growth and Developement Studies indicate a child by the age of 3 or 4 years old has formed an identity of gender. Most Transgender people realize very early on in childhood that they feel very different than the other children. In my own case, I was told God did not want me to be a girl. He made me a boy. My father was pretty much macho and into fishing, hunting, sports. He made me tag along but I was bored to death. I would have much more prefered to do more creative and socially perceived "feminine" things. I never fit in in school although my grades were excellent. The boys would mock me by making gestures of a "limp wrist" etc.
I used to pray that I could be like "normal" boys. No one would choose to be someone who is marginalized and made fun of. I tried to repress my feminine side and I guess I did OK, however, people would typically peg me as being gay as soon as I opened my mouth. Growing up in the 60's and 70's, I had no positive role models and felt isolated and confused and depressed. The social messages that I got regarding being a feminine man were negative from family, school, church, everywhere. My depression and isolation intensified. I tried to imerse myself in work, church, or school but it was always to escape myself.
In 1992, I finally ran across a Transgender bar in Los Angeles where I was living. Within 20 seconds I knew I had found myself and my community. Not long after that, I began to go for counselling to try to begin to integrate my masuline and feminine self and figure out how to best package it. /It was the smartest thing I ever did. It took me the next 15 years to finally have the courage and finances to have Gender Reassignment surgery, which I wish I could have done when I was 14 y.o. That was one year ago today and I have absolutely no regrets at all.
In reference to the teenage boy who is supposed cured now, I would think it is more like that he has decided life is easier living as a boy and is repressing his gender issues. Most every Transgender person goes through numerous "purgings" determined that they are going to live as their biological sex. For most, they soon realize the foolishness of that. Some last a week. Some last months. Some can manage to last years. In every case, the psychological damage of trying to live as someone you are not catches up with them in depression and self destructive behavior.
I also believe in the idea of a Gender Identity Spectrum. On one end in Barbie and GI Joe on the other end.
Most boys fall near the G.I. Joe end and most girls fall close to the Barbie end. Very few are that extreme but most fit the binary gender sterotype. Trans people fall further from the ends of the spectrum and some are at the extreme opposite end of the spectrum from their biological gender. Some people can deal with their gender variance without surgery or without having to live as the opposite sex. Those unfortunate enough to have a gender identity that is completely incongruent with their biological gender tend to have the most personal conflict and hormones and Gender Reassignment Surgery is often the best solution for them to be happy. Post surgical patient satisfaction studies done in UK and at University of Oregon on transexuals hsaving undergone Gender Reassignment surgery suggest that well over 90-95% of patients are satisfied or extremely satisfied with their decision.
The reigious people do not want to recognize the facts. This is a biological issue. It is no more immoral than being left handed. This is how people are hard-wired in their brain. I applaud the parents of Transgender people who can love their chilren unconditionally. I wish my parents had the sense to allow me to purse my innate interests rather than repressing my thoughts and feelings and spending years of my life trying to find happiness. I went to evety Church in town Been there, Done that. It doesn't work.
Also, in respose to the Black Muslim couple who said that God doesn't make mistakes. I challenge him to go into a Chilren's Hospital and look at the children with cancer, or Cerebral Palsy, or Muscular Dystropy etc. and make that same statement.
I believe the conservative religious people are so threatened by the issue of Transexuality and Sexual Orientation because a biological etiology totally undoes their belief in a literal interpretation of the Bible and threatens their entire theology. They also argued that the world was flat and that Evolution is wrong. They would prefer to believe in Adam and Eve and a talking snake as Bill Maher says in the movie "Religilous". Personally, I feel the parents of the Transgender child showed more compassion and exemplified the heart of Christ far more than the guy from Focus on the Family or the Black Muslim couple or most of the audience for that matter.
Of the many messages I've read on todays topic, yours was one of the Best!! Only those of us who have been down this path, can truly understand it . For all the so called Christians, who have posted their comments...should remember to judge not, we are all God's children. So don't be so saintly that you are of no earthly good. One thing I have learned, ,is that you have to understand those who do not understand !! I grew up in the late 50's and 60's. I am 57years old, and was fortunate to have SRS(Sexual Reassignment Surgery) when I was 23yrs. old. I have never had any regrets. Although I would say that, I think the Parents of the child on todays show should not be so consumed with what their child wants at such a young age. If it is meant to be nothing will stop this child from fulfiling there desires. Just be supportive loving parents.
Dr. Phil tackles the sensitive topic of children who identify more with the opposite sex. What do you do if your son wants to wear dresses and play with dolls? Or if your daughter tells you she wants to be a boy? Should parents chock it up to being a phase that their children will grow out of, or should they intervene right away? Meet Melissa and Tim, whose 8-year-old son declared himself to be a girl when he was just 3 years old. Now, they allow their child to live as a girl and wonder if and when they should begin hormone therapy. Then, when Mary’s son was 8, he told her he felt like a girl, and Mary allowed him to experiment with dressing as a female. Now a teenager, her son is more comfortable living as a male -- but Mary wonders if she caused his confusion. Joining the discussion are experts with differing points of view: Dr. Dan Siegel, professor and clinical psychiatrist at UCLA School of Medicine, and Glenn Stanton, author and research fellow with the organization Focus on the Family. Is gender identity something we’re born with, or is it influenced by parents and environment? Don’t miss this heated discussion, then talk about the show here..
