Quote From: tina_socalYou (and others) keep on this point about gender expression being an "adult choice" that children are too young to make, and how it is wrong for parents to support children who make those choices on their own...you all imply or state directly that the children's statements about what they feel inside are not to be trusted as genuine and in reality the parents are "pushing" these kids into "choosing" a gender identity...
But it seems to me that deciding on one's religious beliefs and how that are expressed- things that according to most Christian teachings will determine how one spends ETERNITY- is a HUGE decision involving concepts and implications that are about as adult as you can get.
Yet these same parents regularly PUSH their children into accepting an identity as "Christian", or at the very least EXPOSE them to concepts of salvation, eternal damnation, etc. that are difficult for even adults to fully comprehend, let alone little kids.
Seems like you haven't thought this through at all-
They will be subjected to challenges that they wouldn't otherwise haveto go through. Same thing happens when a child is taught to identify as a Christian- scripture even warns about it repeatedly, saying that *anyone* who accepts the way of Christ *will* be "persecuted"...
Allowing your child to do this stuff especially at suchan early age is not right. They are not adults, therefore should notbe making adult decisions.
Again, if deciding on a path that will either lead you to eternal life or eternal damnation isn't an "adult decision", I don't know what is...but children of Christian parents are exposed to these concepts all the time, are forced to make these very adult decisions as a matter of course, and are punished for not making the "right" choice...
Being transgender should be left to whenthey can legally on their own make decisions. If you allowed yourchild to do such a thing and then when they grow up and they take astep back and say wait minute, I don't want to be the opposite sex. Then what, they lost out on a childhood of things that they could'vedone as their sex and were subjected to things they shouldn't havebeen.
I'm sure you raise your kids to be Christians and expose them to all of these adult concepts all the time- what if YOUR child grows up accepting what you PUSH them into accepting and takes a step back and says "wait a minute, I don't want to be a Christian, I'd rather be a Hindu or Buhddist or atheist"?
What of the childhood lost where he could have been learning about and growing into his CHOSEN faith/beliefs (because it IS a choice)...?
There are FAR more children who are raised as Christians, forced to perform rituals and worship deities and take oaths, etc. who reject all of it as adults and resent having had their choices stolen from them by overbearing fundamentalist parents, than there are gender variant kids who are supported in their gender expression and later resent their parents for having done so...
but for all of their concern for the kids, I doubt that any of these fundamentalist religionists would apply the same standards to their own kids if they came to them and said that they wanted to wait until they were adults to make the very adult decision about what particular brand of religion they wanted to adopt and where they wanted to spend eternity...if their kids were to reject the religious teachings that they FORCE on them, they would just go into high gear and force it on them even harder.
What is interesting is that one of the most pious Christian sects, the Amish, get it right and actually *do* wait until the kid is a young adult before they are required to fully accept an identity as part of that church- and that decision is made only after they are given an indefinite time period to freely and without fear of retribution expose themselves to worldly temptations like drinking, smoking, sex, drugs, gambling, pornography, etc. should they care to experience them.
They don't try to micromanage the lives of their kids and hide them from temptations and worldly vices, they allow them to dive into them head first as a real test of their faith. Not surprisingly, the kids who reject all of that and decide to remain Amish rarely regret having made the decision, unlike the regret and resentment experienced by so many kids whose parents keep them ignorant and make their religious choice for them.
I have thought this through just fine. I am not sure if you have kids, but if you do as a human and being a parent you too will impress upon your children your beliefs. Whether you believe there is a God or isn't. Either way it is a belief and a way of life. I was not always a follower of God myself. I was raised in a Christian home, I decided on my own that I didn't want to be a part of it for quite a few years. I never resented my parents for raising me to be a Christian. My parents although wanted me to learn their beliefs and follow them also realized that once I hit a certain age if I decided not to do it then I would not. But until then I was still to go to church and participate in activities that I wanted to participate in. Never once did my parents say that if I chose not to be a Christian that they would no longer love me and they proved that to me as I was out and about doing whatever it was I wanted to do they never stopped loving me. They never forced me to read my Bible. I did say they made me go to church but that didn't mean that I wasn't sitting in the back of the room piddlefarting around and not paying attention whatsoever to what was being taught and even after I hit a certain age they no longer made me go. As for my son, he wants to go to church. He wanted to go to church well before I decided that I did want to start going back. I do not make him read his Bible but he does have one and on occasion he will read it all on his own. I do not force my child to participate in "rituals" as you call them. If we are all together sitting in church I do not make him sing or do anything there that he doesn't want to do. If they were doing baptisms and he chose not to participate in that I will not force him to do so. You have me mistaken for many parents who are very forceful with their children and make their kids do everything, and I do agree that some are far too forceful in how they handle religion and their kids and some yes are punished by their parents for not participating at they expect them to. So are you saying that I should move away from everybody, impress upon my child Christian beliefs (not making him choose to be one yet of course) and let him out into the world where all the temptations are when he hits 16 or so? He is out in the world, not sheltered and has to face temptation everyday. Does he handle things as the way I see he should be, of course not, he is still a child. I don't see how I am trying to hide my son from all temptations and worldly vices. We don't live in that type of world that we can totally shelter our kids like that. We can shelter them as far as what they watch on tv and what they listen to on the radio but that is only in the home that we can do that, if they are at school or someone elses house they may not be sheltered from it. Amish parents wish that their children will choose the Amish way, but not all of them will do so just like kids of Christian parents don't always choose Christianity. And yes it does say in the Bible that Christians will persecuted. But there is a much larger communtiy for kids who choose to be Christians to get support from than there is for transgender children. I teach my child that certain things are wrong but that doesn't mean I teach him to hate people for being different. Which alot of parents teach their kids hate for others who are not like them. Teaching children to hate and treat people any other way than with respect because they do not believe the way you do is real ignorance.
Dr. Phil tackles the sensitive topic of children who identify more with the opposite sex. What do you do if your son wants to wear dresses and play with dolls? Or if your daughter tells you she wants to be a boy? Should parents chock it up to being a phase that their children will grow out of, or should they intervene right away? Meet Melissa and Tim, whose 8-year-old son declared himself to be a girl when he was just 3 years old. Now, they allow their child to live as a girl and wonder if and when they should begin hormone therapy. Then, when Mary’s son was 8, he told her he felt like a girl, and Mary allowed him to experiment with dressing as a female. Now a teenager, her son is more comfortable living as a male -- but Mary wonders if she caused his confusion. Joining the discussion are experts with differing points of view: Dr. Dan Siegel, professor and clinical psychiatrist at UCLA School of Medicine, and Glenn Stanton, author and research fellow with the organization Focus on the Family. Is gender identity something we’re born with, or is it influenced by parents and environment? Don’t miss this heated discussion, then talk about the show here..
