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Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

Number of Replies: 1316

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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:51:47 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil tackles the sensitive topic of children who identify more with the opposite sex. What do you do if your son wants to wear dresses and play with dolls? Or if your daughter tells you she wants to be a boy? Should parents chock it up to being a phase that their children will grow out of, or should they intervene right away? Meet Melissa and Tim, whose 8-year-old son declared himself to be a girl when he was just 3 years old. Now, they allow their child to live as a girl and wonder if and when they should begin hormone therapy. Then, when Mary’s son was 8, he told her he felt like a girl, and Mary allowed him to experiment with dressing as a female. Now a teenager, her son is more comfortable living as a male -- but Mary wonders if she caused his confusion. Joining the discussion are experts with differing points of view: Dr. Dan Siegel, professor and clinical psychiatrist at UCLA School of Medicine, and Glenn Stanton, author and research fellow with the organization Focus on the Family. Is gender identity something we’re born with, or is it influenced by parents and environment? Don’t miss this heated discussion, then talk about the show here..

Find out what happened on the show.

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angeltx98

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January 13, 2009, 1:48 pm PST

I must say...

I love Dr Phil. However he constantly states he has a God-based home, but he has guests that openly state that "God make a mistake". What is his opinion on this? As a Christian, I believe God cannot make mistakes or that takes away his omnipotence and omniscience.

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gibsonlespaul2

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January 13, 2009, 1:50 pm PST

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Since when do children have a choice to do anything? Where are the parents? All I see are mothers that have issues that their children are the same as everyone else's children and possibly see this as a chance for their child to be "unique." Being gay is a choice people make, if it was natural there would be scientific proof - there is no proof. Being gay is so "Hollywood" these days, it's a fad like any other and it's disgusting and perverted.

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brenda39

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January 13, 2009, 1:50 pm PST

The ignorance of some so called educated people...

For lack of a better word, I am so pissed right now it's unbelievable. I wish this could be read, right now, to the man that basically said that if a son is close to their mother, they will be gay. That has to be the most outrageous statement I've heard in my lifetime. I am very close to my son AND my daughter, am I the "perfect" parent?.. No!.. who is? But I know my children know if they need anything or someone to listen unconditionally, they come to me AND their dad. Is he also saying if a daughter is close to their father, she will be gay? For a so called "educated" man, in my opinion he is a complete fool. Maybe somebody should ask why he dislikes his mother so much, because obviously he didn't have a good relationship with her. Everyone can have an opinion why people are the way they are.. gay, straight, black, white, asian, or whatever.. the simple truth is this.. only God knows these answers and that's the way it should be. My final word is this..... before you try and judge someone, sweep your own porch before you try and sweep mine!

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mbgrands

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January 13, 2009, 1:51 pm PST

no control

Quote From: magleys911

Watching todays show had me so frustrated and a bit angry that I had to send a message. The mother of this confused boy has every right to be emotional but why didn't ANYONE ask her to let the experts speak? I would be suprised if they ever wanted to come back to the show. She was arrogant and rude to the Dr.s that Dr. Phil ask to be on the panel.

As far as I am concerned there are merits to both sides. When my daughter was about 13 she came to me and said she thought she was gay. I had a feeling this was coming and accepted it with love and assured her that no matter what she is I would always love her. She is now in a wonderful relationship with a very nice MAN. It was a confusing time in her life and that was all. It was never acted on.

I am raising my grand daughter due to the death of my oldest daughter. At 2 and 3 yrs. old she adored Transformers and playing with cars. Everyone was worried about this. I bought the toys she liked at the time. She is now 4 and loves Barbies and dressing up!

Now I realise there are cases that won't go this way but I think Toni could have benefited a bit if she had quit talking and done some listening. I was very suprised that Dr. Phil let things get out of hand like that and even defended her behavior. My heart does go out to her because it has to be very hard to deal with but never say your child has died. That is one thing she does no nothing about.

I agree about it being unnecessary for her to be so nasty. I love Dr. Phil, but I felt he deserted his other guests/experts and should have jumped to their defense as his guests. Toni only made me angry by her reaction. I'm sure her personality is so helpful to her son.......(sarcasm galore....)

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dianejordan

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Happy

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January 13, 2009, 1:51 pm PST

Why so defensive

I found that the mother was too defensive. It was more like she was trying to defend what she was doing. I think she would have gotten her point across better had she not been so defensive. The fact that she disagreed with the gentleman was made abundantly clear within the first minutes of the show, however, there may have been a parent watching that was not ready to go along with their child in this situation and they may have wanted to hear about other therapies. Just some therapy did not work with her son does not mean it may not work with others and to insinuate that they did not know what they were talking about made her look ignorant. She stated because she lived it she knew more about it. I think when you live it, it makes your perspective different but does not make you an expert. I would hope that if I was in that situation I would want to talk to and listen to what everyone has to offer, without just dismissing it as crap.

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shelly3412

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Happy

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January 13, 2009, 1:52 pm PST

Not understanding!!!

I have a son that is 12 1/2 years old. He is all boy plays football, baseball, hunts etc.. I can not believe that those two men believe that a child needs to have a father to be a man. My son has never meet his real father and I have never married. Granted he has had my father in the pic. I would not want to be going through what she is going through, I feel for her. But for those other 2 men to say the things, they are not professional at all, no matter what degrees they have. They are prejudice men who believe that it is the woman's fault.. What does that tell you? I do what ever my son needs just like she does and we want our child to be happy.. If you have a son and that is what he needs I would rather deal with that , then have him dead on drugs.. You need to put those men in your house with some transgender people . They may have a different out look then.. Thank You, Shelly

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vernsgirl

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January 13, 2009, 1:53 pm PST

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: angeltx98

not a shocker that Americans shouldn't be reproducing anymore.... I'm 29 and no, I don't have kids... but this show totally shocked me. Since when does an ADULT listen to a 2 year old boy that says they are a little girl?? are you kidding me?? that is an adult decision that I will respect when my kid is 18 but seriously... come on. If your 2 year old told you "oh hey mom, I'm thinking I need a couple tats and piercings, can you help me out?" are you gonna listen to that as well???

totally agree with you!!!!!!!!

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alli12

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Happy

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January 13, 2009, 1:54 pm PST

Agreed.

I completely agree. I also liked what Glenn Stanton said, "When I was that age, I wanted to be a horse!" That doesn't mean that his parents should have shoed him, bought him grain and let him live in a barn. I'm not a parent either, but if my 2 year old came to me and said they wanted to be a girl, I wouldn't take them seriously. I might see it as a heads up, to keep and eye on his behavior and preferences, but I wouldn't immediately start buying him princess things.

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brittj1004

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Peaceful

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frustrated

January 13, 2009, 1:54 pm PST

TRANS-WHAT???

The mother of the trans gender child needs to allow the opposing psychiatrists talk and get their points across even if she does not agree with what they have to say. She acts as though she is strong and has excepted the fact that her 'son' has changed. I believe it is solely up to the parent to help her children become who God has placed them on this earth for. At the age of 3, a child does not know who they are. It is up to the parents to help guide them and to help them do what is right are wrong. Do not support this child transitioning to the opposite gender at such an early age. I have a 4 year old boy. If he wanted a purse or to play with Barbi dolls he would never see a toy. My makeup and clothes would be off limits. If he told me he was going to run away at the age of 11 because I did not support his decision, so be it. What does a child know at that age on how to live and to support himself. I would find a psychiatrist to help. I would not give up and hand over a purse and dresses. GOD made boys so they would grow up to be boys and GOD made girls so they would grow up to be girls. Never give up on your child's gender until you have spoken with someone who could help. This should be illegal. I find it to be a type of child abuse.

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kahill41

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Happy

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January 13, 2009, 1:54 pm PST

10/29 Gender Confused Children

Quote From: robinberne

Touche!! She was totally inappropriate.

DITTO!

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