Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

Hi Dr. Phil,

I have never done this before, but I do watch your show and have a lot of respect for you and Robin.  I also have a lot of respect for Focus on the Family and when I heard they were on today, I was looking forward to what would take place.  I'm saddened for Toni, who is mourning over her son who is now becoming a "girl"--but I was really upset at how she responded to Dr. Nicolosi and Glen in her sarcastic tone and was just thoroughly ugly to them.  I felt you should have stepped in and let them speak and share more about their practice.  We got to hear plainly about Dr. Seigel's course of treatment--I wish that the same fairness could have been displayed for Dr. N and Glen.  Not everyone has to agree with the same course of treatment and if you are really trying to present both sides fairly--I didn't see that today at all. 

Why do men like Nicolosi and Stanton spend their time trying to teach people how to change their child as opposed to how to cope with and accept their child?  What I say in Nicolosi and Stanton was two right-wing, conservative, "Christian" men who have no idea what it means to be born "different".  I am a very well educated 64 year old man who happens to have been blessed with being gay.  As Rev. Ed Bacon said on Oprah, God created and loved each one of us he made.  Being gay and/or transgender is NOT a choice.  Both are genetic.  In reality, the only choice one has, is how he/she lives the life within the life.  To be or not to be isn't the issue. We are as we are!  B.A.

I have to add to all the 50/50 toss ups here about this.  I will tell you from a great deal of experience because I am a trans person.  I knew when I was about 4.  Told my friends at 7 or 8 that I wanted a sex change, even dealt with it until the age of 32.  Thought maybe I could stick it out that something would change.  Did everything to make my parents happy.  Tried to travel the "right" road.  I did not even understand what I was going through, or even what it was.  I had tried to kill myself several times in a 4 year period. 

Nobody understands the level of strength it takes to go through this.  It is hard to even go to a doctor, imagine looking like one sex and having anatomy that does not match what you look like.  I did not do this because it was a joke to me.  If any of my kids came to me asking questions I would be honest, I would even try to guide them and listen to them.  Being a parent is not always about making decisions for your kids.  It's also about the ability to listen and research things.  My parents are the best parents a person could ask for.  Both hardworking, have been married for nearly 40 years now.  They did nothing wrong to me.  They did not coerce in either direction.  Heck for the most part they thought I was a tomboy.  They knew nothing until I was 30.  It's people that want to judge that makes it so hard for us.  Nobody has the right to judge....only God.  YES, I do believe in God.

  In my eyes I think that the two pyscs. are wrong just like the mother was saying.. she tried to get her son to be a boy...

 What I was thinking and what i would of told those guys was... what is his father sappose to do throw the dolls away... and show him his male parts.. and say look we are the same.. you need to act like i do... not like a girl.... thats wrong..

 in some cases when guys are OLDER there's a difference looking at a guy wanting to be a lady than a BOY wanting to be a girl but like the mother was saying she tried but now her DAUGHTER is happy..

 i do see that she might have troubles in school... but once school is over she might have a way better job than everyone else and wont talk to any of them again..

it might be really hard for a mother and might think that its wrong or a stage that they go in . but if they are fine with it later that should be fine.

also like the mother said. She WASN'T attacted to her son so that isnt the reason he changed...

i am the oldest of 5 brothers and 1 sister ... most of by brothers dont even know their dad's but since they had only my mom/grandmother doesnt mean that they are wanting to be a girl .. it would be nice to have a father figure in their life would be great but once they know they are a boy .. THEY ARE A BOY but from a young age if they think they are a GIRL mabye they should of been a girl.

-Courtney

Words cannot even describe how disgusted I am by the views and comments made by these so called "professionals".  As a mother of 2 boys as well as a woman who holds a psychology degree, I am apauled at the comments made by Glenn Stanton and Dr. Nicolosi.  Who are they to tell this mother that she is too involved and enmeshed in her child's life?  If anything, she should be applauded for being a "plugged in" parent and being there for her child.  Isn't that the whole goal in parenting, to be plugged in and to nurture and love your child NO MATTER WHAT?!?!  I can't believe Dr. Nicolosi would have the nerve to tell this mother who obviously has struggled w/ this that she is too emotional?  Are you kidding me?  She is talking about the life of her child, who almost took her own life b/c of this.  The comments about his so called "treatment" his an absolute joke!  And just as Dr. Angello said- it is a slap in the face to these parents as well as their children.  The brain is such an amazing thing, how can anyone rule out the possibility that this real?  He as well as Mr. Stanton have NO CLUE!  Their answers were so close minded and ridiculous.  The way Dr. Nicolosi was trying to discredit the mother and make her seem "crazy" or "emotional" just goes to show that he had no other answer when she told him that he's never had a child that has gone through this, so he has no idea what he's talking about and that she is a better expert on her child than he is.  Absolutely true!  And that he wrote a book on how to keep your kids from "TURNING" gay is sickeneing.  He should not be allowed to counsel or treat anyone!