Quote From: dmj_supermanMy name is Dylan and im 20 years old. I was born female, but i am transsexual. I know without a doubt that there is nothing female about me besides my body. To be honest, i dont think that people that have not experienced this have any idea how this stuff works. It doesnt matter if youre a psychologist or not. You can have hours of training on hormone therapy, etc etc etc. But no matter how they try to "explain" the ways its not possible, they have no idea. People dont understand. When someone is trans, you know without a doubt that you dont fit your body. I have seen a therapist for this, and ive now been on testosterone (hormone therapy) for 9 months now. For the FIRST TIME in my life, i actually feel really comfortable with myself. My whole life growing up i was sheltered. I definitely had a much closer relationship with my mother than my father, however i still had a relationship with them both. My parents have been married about 25 years, i have a 21 year old brother. My parents have never seperated, nothing like that. A lot of people believe that something happened in my childhood with a man or something that made me this way. Thats not true by any means. Nobody ever touched me inappropriately, i never had an unhealthy relationship with a man, or woman for that matter. I was homeschooled until 6th grade and then was in a private (baptist) school until 10th grade. my sophomore - senior years i did attend a public school. But my whole life ive been different. I was VERY tomboy my whole life. i hated everything feminine. Hated dresses, never once wore makeup, never played with barbies. I didnt like it. When i played house with my friends, i insisted on being "daddy" because that was what i was comfortable with. I never felt comfortable in my female body. When i hit puberty and my body developed, i had a hard time looking myself in the mirror because i just didnt fit. For a long time i identified as lesbian, but even then i was not comfortable. I was very "butch" but still couldnt be comfortable with myself. When i started seeing a therapist for my transition, everything finally started feeling right. I only attended therapy 3 months before i started hormone therapy, because i knew it was what i had to do to be comfortable in my own body. It's the only thing that made me happy. 9 months on testosterone, and you would never know i was born female. I am pre-op. no surgeries thus far, mainly because i am still young and dont have the money at this point in my life for it. However, my goal for 2009 is to have my top surgery completed, if not both. I live my life as a straight male. I have a very supporting girlfriend, as well as my friends who i have adopted as my family. My parents dont accept the change. I'm the baby and the only female born child they had. Ive lost almost my whole relationship with both parents. We still talk on occasion, but it hurts me desperately that i wont be able to take the girl i love home to my parents. I do intend to have a family one day. I want a child or two that i can father. I want to be a daddy one day. But unless my parents can begin to accept my transition, ill never let them meet their grandchildren. And that kills me. It hurts that my parents and brother (even extended family) cant be a part of MY family because they wont accept my transition. I think the mother accepting her daughter as just that is amazing. That child needs all the support she can get because the world, like those doctors, and many of the people reading and writing on this board, cant accept them. I've known more than one transgendered person to commit suicide because of the way they are treated. I dont understand what is so hard about accepting a person for who they really are. If someone met me on the streets, you would have no idea that i was born female. There is nothing female about me, other than my legal documents saying so and my body that i have not yet corrected. I got so emotional, yelling at the tv, watching this episode of dr phil. Maybe some kids do go through a phase. But i know that not everybody does. If a persons gender identity does not align with their sex, they should be able to correct it so they can be as comfortable with themselves as everybody else. Just because most people out there are lucky enough to have their gender and sex align does not mean all of us do. I will never be comfortable in a female body, and i know many more like myself that have to stand by me and support me because so many others ridicule and dont understand.
I personally want to thank the mother of this girl for accepting and supporting her. Always stick with it, no matter what people say. Your child needs you now more than she will ever express. And for the others out there that agree, for those whose gender and sex do align, but support those of us that dont, thank you.
Without support from outsiders, it would be much harder for someone like myself to transition. It's not an easy thing to live with. But it's something i have to do for myself, something that MUST be done in order for me to live my life comfortably. To live my life at all.
Thank you.
For any others debating their gender identity, find a therapist in your area that deals with hormone therapies. sit down and talk to someone. They will help you. So many therapists and psychologists specialize in these areas. There are books out there... There are websites. Myspace has groups for people to meet and talk. for support. I'm in a couple groups on myspace myself. Without the support of my brothers there, it would have been hard to do. People can help you find resources in your area....
And Dr Phil, thank you for addressing this. I believe its an issue that is not touched nearly enough in our society today. I can only hope and pray that the world will become more accepting as time goes on.
-Dylan (Dallas, Tx)
thank you for sharing your story, and my heart goes out to you that your family wakes up one day and sees the beauty in their new son and learns to love and accept you for what and who you truly are. I only hope more people out there will learn from stories like this one and learn to accept changes in those they know and love, no matter what the change. That's what being a parent is all about, loving your family and children no matter what, and I stress the NO MATTER WHAT part. Not everyone has problems in their home life, just as you had a good childhood, and sometimes things just happen for no apparent reason at all and I can attest to that through my own experiences in life. Sometimes who you are on the inside isn't the person people see on the outside. I see changing genders as no different then women going on diets to change their apprearance, or wearing a little or a lot of make-up to look prettier or whatever, or even men going to the gym to buff up. Everyone wants to look like they feel on the inside, some people just need more help then others, and sometimes it's not always easy to understand why, but in the same breath we all need to learn to accept whatever change the people we love needs to go through to be themselves. Just because we may not understand it doesn't mean it's wrong or unnatural. Everyone wants to express who and what they are by any means possible, so why not let them??? I was glad to read your story and others that have the same view point and you and I, and I even enjoy reading the other side of the story and trying to learn something from them as well. Thank you again for sharing!!
Dr. Phil tackles the sensitive topic of children who identify more with the opposite sex. What do you do if your son wants to wear dresses and play with dolls? Or if your daughter tells you she wants to be a boy? Should parents chock it up to being a phase that their children will grow out of, or should they intervene right away? Meet Melissa and Tim, whose 8-year-old son declared himself to be a girl when he was just 3 years old. Now, they allow their child to live as a girl and wonder if and when they should begin hormone therapy. Then, when Mary’s son was 8, he told her he felt like a girl, and Mary allowed him to experiment with dressing as a female. Now a teenager, her son is more comfortable living as a male -- but Mary wonders if she caused his confusion. Joining the discussion are experts with differing points of view: Dr. Dan Siegel, professor and clinical psychiatrist at UCLA School of Medicine, and Glenn Stanton, author and research fellow with the organization Focus on the Family. Is gender identity something we’re born with, or is it influenced by parents and environment? Don’t miss this heated discussion, then talk about the show here..
