Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

I have not been prompted to respond in forever, until today. 

The Psychiatrist in question who kept going on about, Mother's, can we say holy unresolved issues.

I would love to see his relationship with his Mother, bet we find some issues there.

Having been in the mental health field for over two decades now, I thought counselors like him were dead.

I cannot believe the garbage hew was promoting, “boys being close to Mom is bad” “gender appropriate toys” “normal heterosexuality”. 

The damage he must be doing is so heart breaking. 

I would love to see the long term studies done on the children he “helps”, wow!

Homosexuality “changing” is this candid camera, holy has he looked in the mirror holy come out of the closet!!!!

Just look at how defensive he got, some great therapist, don’t you dare question me or disagree with me, healthy conflict resolution skills.

I cannot imagine his family environment, can we say “oppressive” unhealthy, he can defend and get angry all he wants, go back to the caves his ideas stem form, and build himself a nice big closet to hide himself in.

Mom, please get some counseling for you and your other kids, you will all need this, it will be a difficult road.

Take Care

Dr. Phill,

I am a middle aged women who found herself married to a man who is now chemically castrating himself with female hormones and claims he is not a transexual. We are currently divorcing. My husband was a product of a very domineering mother who emasculated his father to the point of non-existance. In fact his father was asked in a questionaire if he thought he had a good marriage and his answer was no. THis was after 49 years of marriage.  When my husband was about 7 she put makeup on him and his sister and mad fun of him. She was probably drunk and took pictures of the event. He was leaning away from his sister in the photo and did not look like he was enjoying the humiliation at all. Now I find that he is all about wanting to be humiliated and turns to pornography that emulates that experience for him and he is addicted to pain medication and lives on and off as a trans women named Tori. After a couple of years of marriage, I felt that he had a very.....unusual relationship with his mother. I was thinking that she was very intursive, overbaring  and domineering. I said to my husband that he had a very strange relationship with your mother and his reply was instant anger and these words "How f'ing dare you accuse me of having a sexual relationship with my mother".

Sexual relationship? The furtherist from my thoughts but his reaction explains a lot don't you think?

In March of this year he was diagnosed as  having Borderline Personality disorder and in 2003 he took the MMPI and some other testing that took 2-3 hours under the tullege of a Physcologist. Anti-social behavior was indicated as well as dependant personality disorder and a list of about 5 or 6 other things. I do not have a copy, wish I did.

In my experiance with the transgendered community, I have found that many of them might be diagnosed with BPD in some form or another.

I would be considerd a liberal and so far from the religious right. that it would make your head spin. I belong to an online support group for transexuals, crossdressers, transgedered people and their family and friends  since 2005. But inspite of these facts I actually believed  that the people sitting opposite of the mother who is encourgaing her son to dress as a girl, have hit the nail on the head. Most of these supposed transgendered males DO grow up in families where the mother is pathologically over involved with her children to the point of evoking abnormal dependance and identification of their children to her. I believe this is why the mother in your piece today was so adimately against the research presented by the people one the opposite couch. In fact I always question people who do not give other intelligent people a voice to present their argument. The mom in this story seems to be over defending her "son's " coices with out question. perhaps in an attempt to gain a higher status in the son's life in the form of acceptance or compliance.

She did not give a voic to any other opinion than her own as if to skirt the reality of her actions!!!!

I would love to have further discusions and will return at a later date.

Kitty

I was extremely disappointed in Dr Phils lack of moderating this episode.  The mom railed on the conservative specialists & did not allow them to speak.  If you are going to present such a controversial topic please moderate the discussion so that we can hear both sides (as some of us did not see the last show!)

I support those who desire to work with children in maintaining the gender that God gave them the day that they were born & do not respect the current culture that wants to allow children to do as they please.  After this BOY is of age he can make his decision to change!

Didn't anyone see the upheaval created in the family & how defensive & loudmouthed the mother was?  What happened to the frustration that the 2 older brothers were going through...guess they don't matter & the only all important child is the one that is gender questioning.

It's cruel to encourage a child to function as a minor in the wrong gender.  I notice that nothing was brought up about the harrassment that the child is enduring...

I have watched many shows and NEVER felt moved to register on the site and post a message until now.  I won't get on any soapbox about whether I agree with the issue or not.  As for my personal views, I will simply state that although I support the right of an adult to choose how they want to live their life or to express how they feel they were born, I must say that I would lean towards the doctor late in the show who said she would wait into adolecents.  As to whether someone is born this way or not, i just think the jury is still out.  So I make no judgement either way. 

I must however, make observation about the show.  Although the mother on the show said that she was comfortable with her decision to support her sons transition to becoming a girl, she was clearly angry, hostile, and flat out rude.  I am a parent and I do know that whether you deal with this issue or not, we ALL make choices about parenting our children that often opppose what others, even "experts" would say is "correct".  She was right in her statement that unless you live it, you don't really know the struggle and seeing your child go thru issues you make the best decisions you can at that time.  HOWEVER, I don't think it takes an expert to see that she CLEARLY is not ok with her choice and her entire family is falling apart, though without a doubt they all love their sibling/child.  For those of us who TRULY seek understanding, this mother did a disservice.  Her (her sons) story is not the ONLY story, nor the ONLY case study.  I would not say that her situation is "Typical", and there are so many factors to be considered.  It is most certainly worthy of understanding, and I would love to have understood more about this families journey, and I would also love to have understood more of the scientific data and various medical opinions on the subject.  However both the mother AND Dr. Phil did a POOR job of allowing all sides to be heard and all views to be respected.  Agreement is not a necessary component, but the mother on the show completely blocked the sharing of information.  She is a very angry woman.  TRUE UNDERSTANDING comes from listening even to those whose opinions are directly opposite of our own.

Please don't bring onto the show rude mothers who will not let others speak of an opinion different to their own. It was hard to watch Toni being so disrespectful and rude! I want to hear the difference in opinions on this topic, not who's eligible to speak about it. Telling people to their face that their theory sucks and that they are plain wrong doesn't convince anyone anything except perhaps you are the close-minded person. Toni just made me want to turn off the TV.

As for the term "Natural Heterosexual", I believe that makes sense because boy and girl makes babies and that's natural. None of the other combinations can do that. Heterosexuality is a big part of why you are here.    

I can't BELIEVE all these people who are saying Toni was rude and these "so called professionals" should have got up and left.  BUT - I wish they would have.  THEY were the ones who were rude.  This should have been a show about Toni's situation - but not involving these guys who are trying to "cure" the situation.  And - what's the deal with "mothers being too enmeshed" and this being the problem?????  How dare them!!!!  The ATTACK was on TONI !!!!  I think they just couldn't stand it that someone disagreed with them.  Tough.

Good for you, Toni.  I support you in all your thoughts and ESPECIALLY support your voicing your opinions just exactly the way you did on this show.  You had every right to express these feelings.  You were being made to feel like less of a mother after all the struggle you've been through. Bless you........