Topic : 10/29 Gender Confused Children

Again, Toni was not hostile, she was angry. And she has every right to be angry because people like Stanton and Nicolosi want to destroy her child because they "know better" than the child or the mother. That's hogwash. I ask anyone reading this to look inside yourself. You know exactly who you are. You've always known. For the most part people tend to be heterosexual and happy in their given gender. With transgender people they also know exactly who they are. They know that there has been a screw up in the way the body and mind work together. They know that their mind--their soul--is wired for example as a female when their physical gender is male. Can you possibly have any idea what that feels like? Most likely not, and be glad of it. But just because you may not personally experience this difficulty does not make what a transgender person is going through any less real. We know exactly who we are, just like you do. The difference is that I do not try to impose my will upon others as they would do so upon me. Accept the fact that people may be different from yourself. It is a fact. Should I cure you of being a hetersexual female? How do you think I feel when you say that you need to "cure" me of being a transgender female?

As for the idea that Stanton and Nicolosi should be listened to because there are two sides to every opinion, that is not the case. Just because there is diversity of opinion does not mean that the answer lies somewhere in between. Some things are simply right or wrong. Stanton and Nicolosi are 100 percent and completely wrong, and for anyone to give them credence is tantamount to saying that hate crime is okay. Do you believe that there are two sides to whether or not slavery is a bad thing? I would hope not. There is no middle ground there. Do you believe that there are two sides on if someone should be allowed to murder someone in cold blood? Again, I would hope not. Here there is right and there is wrong. Allowing someone to simply live with whatever challenges they may be faced with in life, instead of saying that they are some hideous abomination that must be "cured" is a much better idea.

Remember that the reason Toni is so angry is because of how these quacks want to treat her child. They want to put that person back into the situation where they wanted to die. That is wrong. Toni may need counseling, but it is because of having to put up with such small-mindedness, hypocrisy, and bigotry. Stop the hatred. Start the understanding and love, and stop killing people you don't understand.

 These "poor guys" are not being judged. They are the judges. They have decidied that anything out of the norm is wrong and must be "cured." They did mention that Stanton was from Focus on the Family, a religious-based organization that does not accept homosexuality in any form, which is where they lump transgender (which is also stupid--but that's another story!). Nicolosi is from a group called NARTH, which stands for: National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (which I do not recall them mentioning on the show). Once again, a group dedicated to the fact that homosexuality (and transgenderism) in any form is wrong, against god's will, and must be opposed at any juncture, and "cured" whenever possible. Again, the judgement is coming from their side. To shut them up, along with their hatred and fear is the best thing Dr Phil could have done. To have a real discussion of this issue neither one of these people, nor the organizations they come from, should have been represented on this show because they do not and will not ever have an unbiased opinion and be willing to actually look at the evidence.

Dear Dr. Phil,

Your show about gender confusion was very one sided.  I would had liked to seen someone on the conservative side a mother who had gone through the program and found success for her son.  I felt bringing on the mother who has thrown up her hands and lets her child be a woman was unfair to the conservative side.  I did like that you said a majority (I forget the exact number you used) turn back to the gender they were born with.

 

I felt that bringing on the woman was an attack on the conservative view.

 

I can say with 100% certainty that I q    uestioned for a very long time if I were gay or not.  Not because I was attracted to other men because I was not.  It was because I did not have a male figure in my life.  My dad was not present in my life at all and I was brought up by two women, my mom and my grandmother.  They taught me things about empathy, compassion, gentleness, and a lot of thing that men are not “supposed to be”.  I found a lot of ridicule for the way I acted and dressed.    I am 41 years old and it was not until I reached 20 until I really came to grips with the fact that I will never be a mechanic, a hunter, beer drinking partier, or any stereotypical man.  But a loving husband, and gentle father and a great person for who I am.  I usually laugh at the fact that I can not do a lot of the stuff men grow up to learn but I have to thanks my Dad for 1 thing and that is I am a better father, and husband than he ever thought of  being.  I wish that I had gone to that program to figure how detrimental not having a male figure in my life it was.  Even today I seek approval from males.  I hope you understand what I am saying.  It was the lack of a male role model that made me question who I was as a person and I had to learn how to be a man on my own.  I wish I had the opportunity to go to a program like that.   I believe it would had helped me a lot.

 

Well I wish you had made it balanced but that I all I wanted to say.  STILL LOVE YOUR SHOW.

i am sorry but i disagree, i think this should be considered child abuse! no child until their brains are completely developed can make such a large life decision, parents need to stop lazy parenting!

I agree- I too was disappointed in Dr. Phil. I have never been on these message boards or even thought about it until this show. I've always had respect for Dr. Phil for always being so biased. He 100% looked as if he was siding with Toni and I was VERY appauled to see that he was not letting the professionals on the other side speak!  The mother OBVIOUSLY has issues of her own and probably DOES have shame in what she did and that's why she was acting the way she was. Dr. Phil should have intervened. He should've let the other side talk. And WHY at the end, did he sit alone with ONLY the doctor from one side? Now that's when I HAD to shut off the TV. He obviously wanted the world to know where he stood in that debate- OR maybe he was afraid of Toni.  I would be-she's a lunatic!!!!!!

Do not call this child abuse, it is called parenting when you follow what is best for your child not what society thinks is best.  These children are happier living their new gender roles and we as a society should support them not condem them or their parents.  Their parents are curagious for stepping forward and doing the right thing not the socially accepted thing!!!!

I was born the way I am and I have yet to hear any cogent, valid argument about my condition being "fixable"...a person can be born in a mixed body (and mind) and people who have a anti gender diversity bias...will over look cases like mine because they can't explain me away!  I am biologically the hole in YOUR argument that gender and sexual diversity can be NATURAL.  I am a fact of nature.  I explained my condition in an earlier post for those who did not catch it the first go round.   If you looked at my case with an open mind you would have to say that there is something out there that is bigger than "boy" or "girl"...I defy medical convention.  But, by fact, that I exist...the evidence... whether liked or not...is here. This evidence proves that more then 2 genders and more than 2 anatomical sexes are possible.

Do you really want to know why Dr. Phil acted the way he did and sided with Toni, and talked with the pro-transgender doctor at the end? The reason is simple, he has actually looked at the question and found out that the mother and this doctor happen to be right. Stanton and Nicolosi are wrong. Period. End of story. They are wrong and what they do kills people! Do you get that? It kills people. There is no other side to this conversation. The actual and real scientific evidence does not support anything other than what the mother is doing and the doctor from UCLA advocate. From the other side, the thing that dictates their feeling that gay, lesbian, and transgender people can be "cured" is simply religious dogma and wishful thinking. There is ZERO evidence to support their side that this is environmentally caused. It is the way some people are wired. If you had to live with this yourself, you would understand. How about taking the time to listen to those who do actually have to deal with it, because contrary to what Stanton and Nicolosi say, it is real, and it is not curable except by proper acceptance of the situation. and those afflicted with it know a heck of a lot more about it than those guys do. Toni was 100 percent right when she told them, "Your theories suck!"

Do you tell someone with a birth defect of the heart to just get over it? Suck it up and be a man and your heart will be fine. Stupidity at the extreme, yet it is no different here. This is what someone is born with. Why must it be treated differently than that heart problem, or any of a thousand other difficulties that people are born with every day? Enjoy and embrace diversity, don't try to destroy it.

Well then I would have a whole separate issue if it were life and death. I would stil say no you cant be a girl. Hell no. And I would seek help for his other issues. But I dont worry about that with my sons.

Can you really show me a happy trans person? I dont think so. They are always on drugs or unhappy or have major problems. Any parent that would let their child decide to be something different than what they were born should have their child taken away. That is what you call LAZY PARENTING! And just like i said where are the dads in all this. They arent there. So maybe people should think about the whole picture of the family and the children before getting divorced just to make them selves happy. Divorce hurts children more than they know. I went through it s a young child and it sucked. I would never put my child through that unless i was being tortured by my husband.