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Topic : 10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Number of Replies: 104
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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:53:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
In a groundbreaking new series, Dr. Phil counsels 14 strangers who say their lives are absolutely not working. With issues such as extreme anger, addictions, abuse and personal demons that won’t go away, these guests spend an intense three days and two nights in a Dr. Phil retreat, facing the problems that are holding them back. By following their journey, you may just change your life as well. In the premiere episode, Dr. Phil gives his guests a huge wake-up call, using video clips of their private moments at home to demonstrate how their lives have spun out of control. Meet Ron and Angie, a couple struggling with Ron’s alcoholism while trying to parent their 2-year-old child. Can Dr. Phil cut through the fog of a man who drinks 40 to 50 beers a day? And, Kathleen says she hates and fears all African-American men because of something horrific that happened to her over 20 years ago. After she avoids interaction with Wade, an African-American in the retreat, Dr. Phil points out that they have more in common than they think. Plus, Paige is in love -- and in denial -- with a married man. If your life is so busy that you haven’t taken a long look at yourself for awhile, make this hour all about you and get inspired to turn your life around! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 3, 2008, 12:39 am CST

Can't move on

Quote From: paigeroxanne

It sounds like you've fallen into a state of deep depression ..have you seen a Dr.? perhaps you need to take some medication for awhile.  I'm not trying to diagnose you, I just know from personal experience that wanting to stay in bed, detaching from your family ...it's all about depression and it's all bad news.  I was depressed a couple of years ago.  I couldn't leave my house, staying in bed almost all of the time, I wouldn't eat, I lost 20 lbs (I weighed under 90 lbs at my lowest).  I had to seek medical attention to keep me alive, literally.  Part of that medical attention was anti-depressants and honestly, they've worked wonders for me.

 

My life is not perfect, I have made some HUGE mistakes that I continue to ask to be forgiven for.  I expect that I will never receive forgiveness from those I've truly hurt, I don't blame them for not forgiving me. 

 

My strength now is within my heart, the love that I share with my son.  My son is 17 years old and is my rock.  He has been through so much with me and is such a gentle, caring, kind, considerate individual.  I thank the heavens everyday for bringing him into my world.

 

But please ...about your situation.  If it's time for the two of you to part ways, you should part ways.  There is no point trying to keep together something that isn't working any longer.  That would be like shattering your favorite flower vase and using glue to put it back together ...it wouldn't work, the water would leak and it would look ugly.  When something has become unworthy of keeping around, whether it be man or object, then you should move on. 

 

You may not feel strong enough to step out on your own, you may be all too comfortable with what's familiar ...the lonliness, the aching, the pain, the anger and the fear.  You may be afraid to feel good about life again.  I tell you that you can and you will feel good about life again.  You really need to make some changes.  You need to do what I did ...look into a mirror, look deep into your own eyes and ask yourself what you need to do to feel better.  Tell yourself how beautiful you are.  Tell yourself how important you are to your family.  Remind yourself of all the good things you could be doing with your time.  Reach out to others as a means of trying to heal yourself.  Trust me, it helps.  Can I do anything to help you?

    You ask if it is anything you can do to help. I dont think anyone can help me at this point not even Dr.Phil.  I feel so lost. I feel like what is the use of tring anymore. My husband does not care, why should i. Can u believe he stop talking to his current friend only to start talking to an ex. An ex he stop talking to about two years ago. What a slap in the face that was. I pray and I pray.I continue to hide my feeling from everyone.Only to continue to die in the inside. If only they knew how bad i really feels to be alone.It is the holiday season and i have no will to go on. It seems like everyone around me is married and happy. Why cant i be like them. Iam ready to give up now .I have no more fight in me.  But thanks for tring to encourage me. I know you say that we should part. He did that a long time ago. I just can't seem to. Why i'am i settling for someone who does not want me. Why can't i move on.
 
December 11, 2008, 1:06 pm CST

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: paigeroxanne

Hi Cheryle.

I guess you're expecting (or maybe you're not) for someone to reply with the question ..."Why are you still with this guy?"

The most important person in the world is you ...you come first.  If someone in your world is making life unpleasant then you need to do something to correct that.  I suppose you could try to correct his behaviour, but we all know it's pretty darned impossible to change somebody.  So that leaves removing him from your life.  What's keeping you with him?  If he's as terrible a person as you say, why do you want him around. 

Can you move on and start fresh with your children and grandkids?  Are you able to tell him to take a hike?  You say a lot about all the bad things he's done, do you do bad things too?  Do you sabotage the relationship somehow? 

Without knowing much about your history with this man it seems from a stranger's perspective that you two just aren't a good match. 

You sound like you want to make a decision between him and your family ...the choice seems obvious to me.  I think you should stand up for your family and move on..

This one single life we are given is far too short to be in a miserable relationship, and you do sound miserable. 

I want for you to be strong and to be happy.  Is that what you want?  Or are you on some level comfortable with being miserable and having lots to complain about.  It seems sometimes that it's easiest to just complain about what's wrong rather than making the efforts that are required to effect real change in our life to make things better. 

I'm going to repeat myself ..I want for you to be strong.

I hope in some small way this helps, even though I know you're stuck in a horrible pattern of familiarity and comfort.  It's going to be very difficult to change your life to make it the way you want it, so that you're happy every day instead of miserable.  It's hard work to be happy ...and sometimes just way too easy to be sad.  Are you willing to work at this and spend time and energy in making your world better for you?  I hope you are. 

 

Well said.
 
January 16, 2009, 6:51 pm CST

I feel for the rape victims!

I know how traumatic a rape can be! I was raped by someone I knew. I felt so guilty because I was in love with him and all I wanted was for him to kiss me and he wanted something else,of course! I felt guilty for years, until a friend told me it wasn't my fault! Hearing that, it was like a giant weight lifted off me! So those who were raped, I know it won't be easy, especially for dear Wade! I wanted to cry for him! I know if anyone can help them, it's Dr.Phil!
 
June 8, 2009, 9:25 am CDT

Wade

I saw Wades' story on dutch television today. It broke my heart... I've been raped to, but when it happens to you as a kid and also a male.... that's even worse! and to see this big man look so small, it really broke my heart. I was crying on the couch like a little girl. all the best to Wade and lots of love!
 
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