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Topic : 10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Number of Replies: 104

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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:53:48 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

In a groundbreaking new series, Dr. Phil counsels 14 strangers who say their lives are absolutely not working. With issues such as extreme anger, addictions, abuse and personal demons that won’t go away, these guests spend an intense three days and two nights in a Dr. Phil retreat, facing the problems that are holding them back. By following their journey, you may just change your life as well. In the premiere episode, Dr. Phil gives his guests a huge wake-up call, using video clips of their private moments at home to demonstrate how their lives have spun out of control. Meet Ron and Angie, a couple struggling with Ron’s alcoholism while trying to parent their 2-year-old child. Can Dr. Phil cut through the fog of a man who drinks 40 to 50 beers a day? And, Kathleen says she hates and fears all African-American men because of something horrific that happened to her over 20 years ago. After she avoids interaction with Wade, an African-American in the retreat, Dr. Phil points out that they have more in common than they think. Plus, Paige is in love -- and in denial -- with a married man. If your life is so busy that you haven’t taken a long look at yourself for awhile, make this hour all about you and get inspired to turn your life around! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

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JWL123

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November 1, 2008, 6:06 am PDT

Thanks

Quote From: genesis1

You have been plagued with mistruths and you CAN be that woman! It angers me so much when I see people like you and others here suffering and oppressed under the lies of satan! I know that is a bold statement but I see it as truth. You are not incapable of being strong and confident. And you are not "ugliest" as your avatar reads. You clearly are a caring and deeply compassionate person who is suffering with much pain.
and no, we "can't just let these things go" as we are so poorly advised! But closure and releasing the hold of the pain through forgiveness and healing is definitely achievable. You seem to believe you are beyond help, beyond worth, beyond love. But that isn't true--you ARE loved. You ARE valuable. And you are beautiful and unique, and have a definite purpose! You have to reject these lies when they come up or you will be stifled and live under this oppression for the rest of your days. Please choose to change this and become who you are capable of being.
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are wonderful because GOD says you're wonderful. You are valuable, because God says you are SO valuable that His son came to free you from your bondages. You are so dearly loved, because God says He loves you, He calls you His beloved, Jesus proved He loves you, and He will pursue you to the end, until you fall n love with Him right back! Seek this love.

Thank you so much for your response. I dont know if you will read this or not but I just wanted to thank you for being such a kind caring person.

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auntmaman

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November 1, 2008, 8:42 am PDT

He was never yours.

This is to Paige. I am sorry but I have no sympathy for any one who would have a relationship with a married man. If you think you are suffering have you ever thought about what the wife will go through if she finds out about the affair? The wife has a legal and spiritual committment from this man to love, honor and obey. No matter what he says, he is not available for a relationship! It was up to you to make the right decision with this man.You may have ruined some woman's life by entering a relationship that was spiritually and morally wrong. How do I know this? Because I am the wife of a man who was with another woman. That woman, even though she was also married, thought that she was going to take MY HUSBAND away from me. She had the nerve to tell me that I was no competition for her! Now she is divorced with three young boys because of her actions. I am still married to my husband, but my life will never be the same again and I didn't do anything! I truly was a victim. It has taken over two years of counseling and a trip to a mental health facility after I foolishly tried to kill myself over what had happened, to begin to repair my marriage. I refuse to be a victim any longer. But you are not a victim, you were a willing participant in a relationship that should never have happened because he was married. I pray to God that his wife never finds out. That would be a tragedy indeed. Thank goodness you have seen the error of your ways and may you never find yourself in that position again. M

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tyler1

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November 1, 2008, 10:06 am PDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

This show was gutrenching. The part about the man and women both being raped was hard to watch, but very compelling. I nearly came unglued with tears watching them both. Their pain was palpable. Oh and I was just sick to my stomach watching the alcoholic father and the enabling mother. They're actually encouraging their children to participate in *their* nightmare. They're so self involved in their own pain, they don't even care how they're effecting their children. I also noticed the redhead on there (who's not talked about her story yet), seemed uncomfortable in her own skin. She looked like she was in physical pain, just sitting there. The look of abject terror was on her face, like she wanted *no one* to even whisper her name or even look her way. I can only imagine the horror she's living. I need to see how this all plays out.

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tyler1

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November 1, 2008, 11:14 am PDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: paigeroxanne

All of this support is overwhelming.

I am so very sorry that you had to endure some of the same things that I am going through. I would not wish these feelings and emotions on anyone, not even an enemy.

I am learning to love myself, slowly I am learning that I come first.

And you are 100% correct in saying that he is a "Loser".

After the show aired yesterday ...guess who called me and tore a strip off me.

Yes, it was him.

He was madder than hell.

I spoke to him (yelled at him) for a bit until he finally hung up on me.

There is so so so much about this relationship that never was discussed at the retreat.

I wish I had the opportunity to explain to the world how I ended up feeling so in need of this man.

Again, I am sorry you experienced the same thing, I hope you have fully recovered. If you have not, you can always communicate with me and together we can get over our "losers" together.

I don't know you ...but I love you

Wow Paige, firstly well done for moving on! All women deserve their own man. They deserve to be put first. Your story is going to help others, know that. I just felt gutted for you when you said he'd never spent the night before. I mean you definately deserve a good man to stay and cuddle with you till morning. Now go out there and find a man you can wake up to pancakes together, and go for a walk in the park!

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manofgoods

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November 1, 2008, 11:34 am PDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: maltese3

The people in this group see themselves as victims or sufferers in some way. I imagine that they have gotton some mileage out of how they have been mistreated or put upon. IMHO, Dr. Phil was right to do some serious confronting and not buy in to how they see themselves.

Dr. Phil offered support when it was warranted as in the case of the rape victims. The woman having an affair, the alcoholic, and his enabler do not deserve a soft approach.

I think that all of them involved in the retreat deserve a soft approach. This isn't the Steve Wilkos show, you know. Everyone has problems, & they all make mistakes.

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bellanoche

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November 1, 2008, 2:42 pm PDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: auntmaman

This is to Paige. I am sorry but I have no sympathy for any one who would have a relationship with a married man. If you think you are suffering have you ever thought about what the wife will go through if she finds out about the affair? The wife has a legal and spiritual committment from this man to love, honor and obey. No matter what he says, he is not available for a relationship! It was up to you to make the right decision with this man.You may have ruined some woman's life by entering a relationship that was spiritually and morally wrong. How do I know this? Because I am the wife of a man who was with another woman. That woman, even though she was also married, thought that she was going to take MY HUSBAND away from me. She had the nerve to tell me that I was no competition for her! Now she is divorced with three young boys because of her actions. I am still married to my husband, but my life will never be the same again and I didn't do anything! I truly was a victim. It has taken over two years of counseling and a trip to a mental health facility after I foolishly tried to kill myself over what had happened, to begin to repair my marriage. I refuse to be a victim any longer. But you are not a victim, you were a willing participant in a relationship that should never have happened because he was married. I pray to God that his wife never finds out. That would be a tragedy indeed. Thank goodness you have seen the error of your ways and may you never find yourself in that position again. M

Good For you my dear.... It seems there are too many men these days that seem to wander and us good women stay. I however left after 17 years and two boys. I took them with me and started my life with them alone. I stayed 6 years after the dilema of should I stay or go. He made 8 months good on not doing it again. It seems that the women out there do not care that they are taking a spiritual bond from another woman. I do believe in the Universal Law. What comes around goes around, but make no mistake. She thought she was going to "Make him change" and the only thing those women ever end up with is "A man that cheat on their wife" So if he cheats or goes out on his current wife...... then marries them..... in that situation? Where do you think their trust lies with each other? What do you think she really ends up with.... A man that cheats on his wife which in respect... is her now. I pray for you and women like you to keep it together. I couldn't....

Take Care my friend.

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manofgoods

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November 1, 2008, 3:52 pm PDT

10/30 Dr. Phil's Get Real Retreat

Quote From: paigeroxanne

All of this support is overwhelming.

I am so very sorry that you had to endure some of the same things that I am going through. I would not wish these feelings and emotions on anyone, not even an enemy.

I am learning to love myself, slowly I am learning that I come first.

And you are 100% correct in saying that he is a "Loser".

After the show aired yesterday ...guess who called me and tore a strip off me.

Yes, it was him.

He was madder than hell.

I spoke to him (yelled at him) for a bit until he finally hung up on me.

There is so so so much about this relationship that never was discussed at the retreat.

I wish I had the opportunity to explain to the world how I ended up feeling so in need of this man.

Again, I am sorry you experienced the same thing, I hope you have fully recovered. If you have not, you can always communicate with me and together we can get over our "losers" together.

I don't know you ...but I love you

Greetings, Paige. I am deeply sorry of what you've been through. Try to forget all about him & move on. Like another poster says, plenty of people who judge you (or other women like you that are in this same situation) do things that are far worse and will have far more lasting consequences than what you have done. Keep your chin up & your head up high, & always don't forget to smile! You deserve a lot better. God bless you.

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jennysgram

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November 2, 2008, 5:53 am PST

Guess you just had to be there...

Quote From: tootsie2929

I feel like I have to reply to this message because I was on the show. I just want to explain to you that we felt exactly the same way that you did after the first day. They didnt really "let" us use phones but after the first day I ran to the phone at the end of the hall and called my mom balling because I wanted to go home so bad! What you have to understand is that if he didnt take the "tough love" approach, we never would have been so deadly serious and honest with each other and the whole process wouldnt have worked. You just need to keep watching and you will see that he will soften and we did learn a great deal from those exercises that we did, like the "I trust you" activity. We were all terrified while we were sitting on that stage on the first day and we really did need a wake up call. I cant speak for anyone else but I know that for myself, I went there not really acknowledging that I had a problem. I knew that things werent really working in my life but I thought that it was the fault of other people around me. I played the blame game so these activities that we did really opened my eyes to the fact that I was the reason things werent working for me. I was giving off a vibe, or an outside appearance that I was an ugly selfish person, which is not the way I feel inside. Keep watching, hang in there, it will all make sense in the end. :)

Thanks for your response. You should know -- you were there. I still found it disturbing and don't know if I'll watch the rest of the series. To begin dealing with 14 people in such a harsh way would seriously compromise my trust right off the bat. To scold someone because they're cold?? How was that relevant to the problems at hand? I thought I was watching "The X-treme Dr. Phil Show". I'm assuming that you feel much better now and that you were helped. If so, I'm glad you are now on the road to recovery. Take care.

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paigeroxanne

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November 2, 2008, 8:19 am PST

:) Thank you

Quote From: manofgoods

Greetings, Paige. I am deeply sorry of what you've been through. Try to forget all about him & move on. Like another poster says, plenty of people who judge you (or other women like you that are in this same situation) do things that are far worse and will have far more lasting consequences than what you have done. Keep your chin up & your head up high, & always don't forget to smile! You deserve a lot better. God bless you.

Thank you for your compassionate view of my situation. I know that my involvement with this man was wrong on many levels. I am not now, or ever, going to try to make excuses for being involved with this man. I take the blame for my actions. You are right, however, when you say that there are those who are passing judgement and doing things themselves that likely could be judged. I pity these people. Anyone who things that any good can come from telling me that what I've done is wrong needs to take a look at their own life. Thanks again. Thanks for your blessing.

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denimsway

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November 2, 2008, 1:14 pm PST

THANKS DR. PHIL

Thanks for the awesome show and telling it like it is! YOU WERE GREAT!

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