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Topic : 12/30 Extreme Discipline?

Number of Replies: 237

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Created on : Friday, October 24, 2008, 02:58:01 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/31/08) Grounding for two months, withholding dinner, making a child stand at attention for hours or collect rocks in the hot sun … is this basic discipline, or is it too extreme? Trisha fears her husband, Rafael, is destroying their 13-year-old daughter with punishments that are too severe. Rafael says his wife forces him to be “the hammer” because she’s too lenient. Their opposing views on child discipline are putting a strain on their marriage, but what is it doing to their daughter? Hear her heartbreaking diary entries. Plus, what happened in this household that’s been swept under the carpet for far too long? Dr. Phil has a heart-to-heart chat with the teen. Have you ever wondered if your discipline tactics will have a lifelong effect on your child? Are you inadvertently crossing the line into abuse? Grade your own parenting skills with today’s show. Plus, learn discipline guidelines that will keep your children healthy and thriving. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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lovingfather07

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angry

December 30, 2008, 12:35 pm PST

AGREE

Quote From: ncdotty

I AM VERY ANGRY.........A knot on a dogs as would know this man SEXUALLY Molested his own daughter, he is very sick.....he had a smile on his face the whole show.....PLEASE DO NOT LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT ACT....it was not a relative.....they has brain washed the little girl........I knew it was sexual abuse when she did not hug him..........PLEASE INVESTIGATE.....i AM BLA CK...BUT THAT BLACK WANT A BE IS SICK......HE DOES NOT WANT HIS WIFE....HE WANT THAT CHILD.....SICKO......DR PHIL YOU SHOULD HAVE REALLY GOTTEN ON HIM....WERE YOU SCARED....ANYONE AND EVERYONE READ BETWEEN THOSE LINES .....THAT MAN IS SICK AND THE WIFE IS TOO FOR ALLOWING THAT TO CONTINUE TO HAPPEN....HE KNOWS THAT PEOPLE ARE GETTING PROSECUTED FOR SEXUAL ABUSE....SO HE STOPPED............HE STILL NEEDS TO BE CHARGED........

This guy is soooo sick. He was the one that has did it. Please for the sake of God investigate this thing. No little child deserves this. PLEASE

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donnahardy1

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December 30, 2008, 12:39 pm PST

EXTREME DISCIPLINE

These parents are lying. They are not coming clean on this show. Their daughter needs love and to be needed and worthly. Please help this child. Her parents are not parents.

And ,I do not believe a School is aloud to let a sex abuse isue go without reporting it. Schools are required to report any child abuse. Again, The parents are lying!!!!

Donna

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lovingfather07

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December 30, 2008, 12:41 pm PST

Hmmm.

Quote From: acts45

Remembe this

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. How many of us that has reach the ages of 50 plus understand that this was a good method in correct problem when we came up. Don't be so fast to judge without having some solutions to solve the problems. Ours children today are being destroyed for tomorrow because they are being allows to be undiscipline today.

Just a friend who wish that we all would take a step back and stop condemned others without a real solutions to the problem. If the advise that is being giving, was the solutions then while of we still having problems in schools today with our children. Now, look back in the 60's and 70's and you would see that these problems of today was fewer.

May God help us all to become better problem solves

Yes there were fewer problems you may say. BUT times have changed, and so has everything else. He raped his child WTF and some people stick up for him?! I DO think kids should be whipped but not beat nor have to salute their parents. What he is doing is way more Harsh then what was done in the 60s and 70s my friend. Yeah we worked back then in the field, have chores and we were punished ...but when we were working our parents also did the same. Bottom line the world is getting worse and worse therefore stuff is changing so much that we all have to adjust, including punishment because one day the world will come to an end and it is drawing near.

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donnahardy1

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December 30, 2008, 12:47 pm PST

FAKE CRYING!!!!

This father is faking to cry. He is unable to cry. This man is evil.

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faulkner17

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December 30, 2008, 1:15 pm PST

today's show

I just finished watching the show in Nj I am absolutely appalled at how blind this mother was and is. She barely spoke, and shows no concern for this child, who craves love and acceptance. This mother sat there and watched her huband abuse her child for years!!! This girl may have been raped? Where in God's name was the mother? Putting her head in the sand, as was obvious on the show. She threatened to leave? She should have protected that child, even if it meant ending the abuse for this girl. Her diary, about going to heaven, what a wake up call - and the mother showed no reaction, her daughter was suffering and she pushed it under the rug. Dr. Phil, help this child, many of us growing up in the 50's experienced physical punishment, and raising two daughters, I have not once, raised a hand to either one. This goes beyond abuse, this girl's life has been a horror. Both parents are accountable for the well being of this child, no food, picking up rocks for hours, no matter how the father grew up, a child is a gift, not an item to be discarded. You want respect. Earn it!!!

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faulkner17

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December 30, 2008, 1:19 pm PST

love and respect

Quote From: krhenry

LOVE AND RESPECT IS EARNED BY ADULTS AND CHILDREN NOT JUST ADULTS. I THINK SOMETIMES AS PARENTS WE DEMAND RESPECT WE CAN DEMAND ALL WE WANT BUT IT IS EARNED. I RAISED 5 CHILDREN AND I HAD TO LEARN AS I WENT AND IT WAS NOT EASY BUT OF ALL THE THINGS THAT I HAVE LEARNED YOU HAVE TO GIVE LOVE AND RESPECT TO GET IT BACK.

You hit the nail on the head - as a single mom of 2 daughters, I worked hard on every level to earn their respect, learning as you go. Nothing seemed to touch this cold hearted "father?

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nrenee23

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December 30, 2008, 1:34 pm PST

leave

I believe trisha should leave her husband before this gets out of hand. I was a teen like this 13 year old. I'm the oldest of 5 in my family and I'm also the "stepchild". From the time I was 15 I was hit and punished in horrible ways by my stepdad. I went to school with bruises and black eyes all the time. My mother never did anything to stop this. Her excuse was that she didn't want to divorce him. Now I'm 27 and I still resent him. The thing that makes me feel worse is that the other children have never had to suffer through these punishments. I have always been a good kid. I was a straight A student, graduated 13 out of 380, and have a teaching degree, while my brothers and sisters have never accomplished what I have and may never, yet they have been given everything by me parents. I have had a job and basically taken care of myself since I was 16. I think my problems have made me a stronger, more determined person, but the fact that I was beaten and hurt still bothers me. Trisha should get out before it gets out of hand. A man that will hurt your child is not a good man for anyone. This daughter needs help and to be made to kow she is loved, or this will hurt her for the rest of her life.

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faulkner17

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December 30, 2008, 1:34 pm PST

stubborn?

Quote From: uglyiest

All 13 year old kids are stubborn but to be punished in such a way is so totally stupid. I have a 12 year old daughter and if she doesnt speak to me when spoken to then I talk to her and find out if something is bothering her, if she doesnt want to say anything or say hello then that is fine, it is her right. I dont see it as being stubborn or anything I just see it as normal kid behaviour.

How, from seeing a child without ever really seeing her, can say she is stubborn? That girl has been abused by both of her parents, look at her posture, downtrodden and beaten. And you wonder why she didn't hug her father - he violated her in the most revolting siutaion a child can live throuhg. Stubborn -NO Destroyed and wanting to die _Yes Hope the help she gets gets her away from these parents, who did nothing about her rape for 3 years. I hope every PD in the US was listening to this.

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shelly_80

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December 30, 2008, 1:48 pm PST

12/30 Extreme Discipline?

Having just watched this episode for the second time, something Raffiel said sparked my interest. He said, "If you asked my daughter the same question. Do you think your father loves you? I would hope to God she says yes." "I'd be devistated if she says no, but I have that doubt." He also said he wanted help to create an atmosphere in which she can step across that line and give him a hug and say she loves him. He is her father! Raffiel, YOU ARE HER FATHER! She would love nothing more than to step across that line, but until now you've never given her a reason to take that leap of faith. No parent can disrespect their children and demand respect in return! Believe it or not parents have to respect their children too. How else are they expected to learn how to show it if they're not shown it?

I was furious when this show first aired, but now I think Raffiel may be realizing he's doing more harm than good in the long run. Hopefully things have changed by now or are in the process.

PS. Just because it's not "physical" doesn't mean it's not abuse!

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mizewil

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December 30, 2008, 2:04 pm PST

what about the mother?

As someone who went through very similar circumstances as a child, I had a lot of unresolved issues with my mother as well. She could have done something to stop the abuse, but she didn't. This mother said things, such as "if this happens again, we're out of here," but she didn't do anything. She even said she's put in the middle. This child didn't ask to be here, and she needs someone to protect her. The best thing for her would be to live with a loving relative--maybe a grandparent--so she can have a better life. It's hard to understand how parents can treat their children so badly. Thank you, Dr. Phil, for helping this child.

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