Topic : 12/30 Extreme Discipline?

This man is LATINO.  Not Black. Not White,...not Arab.

 

He was Cuban.  Not that it really matters.

There was a Cuban flag on his car. 

Tricia is spineless because Rafael verbally abuses her too.

She cant quit bowing to his wishes because he's got an emotional lock on her!

THEY ALL DO THAT!! It's part of the plan, so the Mom doesn't interfere.

I know this. I've lived this. My husband put me so far down. I used to cry when I was sad. Thinking I wasn't good enough, or he wouldn't be that way with me. Then I got mad about it, and I gave it right back to him as fast as he did  it to me.

He's obviously been abused as a child, and this is the only way he knows how to parent. He needs severe counselling, and he needs to be taken out of the family.

My heart breaks for the daughter and the mother.

They both need compassion and support, and a chance to re-build their self-esteem.

I'm glad I was able to see what was going on here, a lot of women aren't so lucky.

Mine has been removed from the home.

 He made my little girl cry nearly every day and then gave her a hard time for crying.

He was in the US Marines Boot Camp, and he would stand over her like some kind of psycho Drill Sargeant, and bellow at her to get her to do things.

 

We've been by ourselves now for a little over 2 months, and I have NEVER raised my voice to her, and I still get results -- she gets ready for school in the morning and we get out to catch her bus 

she helps me a little with the housework

she behaves herself when we go shopping

she does her homework

she gets ready for bed

 

WITHOUT any drama and when I ask her to, and I only have to ask her once.

 

While watching this show, I found somethings I believed to be harsh punishment.  But clearly in a way, I can tell this girl is stubborn.  See, her dad says he tries to teach them to have respect, when a child is spoken to, especially from their parent, they should respond .  She comes in from school, he says hello, she doesn't say anything back, did anyone hear that?  So therefore, he told her to set on the couch until she says hello to him.  She chooses to not say a word,  I can't believe the stubborness here and no one see's it.  SHould she have to stand at attention for 2 hours, I think that is harsh, but the lady on the show says time-out should be one minute per year age,.  she is 13 years old, she isn't going to care about 13 minutes,  thats over in no time to a girl her age.  Now I sit my 4 year old down for 4 minutes. no big deal, thats a long time for him...  But come on, not for a 13 year old.  What does this man do, I don't think he is that bad of a father really, I know alot more people that are way worse.  Should he call her names, no, but let me ask one question, did you do everything right raising your kids.  I know I have made many mistakes, I applaud this man and woman for at least realizing some things are not right with their parenting, I hope they are on the right path to better parenting,..  And I sure hope they get their daughter some counsilling for her to deal with the pain from being raped.  I was really shocked the parents did nothing here.  That is probably a lot of this girl's problem...  Anyway, remember how a 13 year old can be stubborn...  I think their is a little of this going on.  I think Mom was trying to say that when she was trying to tell them that not all of it was being told... 

You couldn't said it better Robin,

      That is what I think, in ways maybe the discipline is a little harsh, but on another hand some of it is ok, He is not taking anything and beating her...  Mom says she would have left by now, I don't know what is wrong with our country, discipline is ok, it corrects them....  It is the way it is suppose to be...  Time outs don't work for every child of every age...   Some kids just don't care...  Like Robin says, hormones.  I remeber too at a young age, writing in my journal, how I hated my parents....  ONe time, I wrote in my diary...  " I will let my kids go outside and play"  I was mad at my Mom for telling me no...  I am sure now she had a good reason...  I was 13 when I wrote that ....  Now however, since this girl is writing the things she is, she deffently needs to talk to someone....  She needs to understand some things.  And she surely needs help dealing with the pain of being raped.. 

I too, was lost while reading  fwrinkledsoles post. I couldn't quite make out what they where tring to say until I read your post. I'm still trying to figure out why race was even brought to the table?  It had absolutely nothing to do with the topic of the show. I understand that everyone has a right to believe what they choose and I try my hardest to respect that, but I with you, I don't understand why  fwrinkledsoles blamed the whites for this man extreme discipline towards his daughter.  how about holding him resonsible for his own actions? If that is in-fact how they intended to come across.

I'm not so sure I agree.  There are more Christians than people think.  For whatever reason we don't "make ourselves heard."  I think Christian's are concidered "the silent majority."

All 13 year old kids are stubborn but to be punished in such a way is so totally stupid.  I have a 12 year old daughter and if she doesnt speak to me when spoken to then  I talk to her and find out if something is bothering her, if she doesnt want to say anything or say hello then that is fine, it is her right.  I dont see it as being stubborn or anything I just see it as normal  kid behaviour.

I couldnt beleive the coldness of these parents.  Neither one showed barely any emotions, even when talking about the horrible thing that happened to their daughter.  And the fact that they havent even bothered to get her help or report it to the police just shows so much coldness.  So this child doesnt want to say Hello  when he speaks to her.  I wouldnt want to say hello either if I was treated like crap 24 hours a day 7 days a week.   I dont see the parents as evil people yet they show no feelings whatsoever with their daughter and what she is going through.  I mean there was no emotion even when they were shown the diary entries.  Not even the one of her hanging herself got any emotion from them.  For the mother to just sit there seemingly to not care is just deplorable.  She seemed more concerned with how her husband was going to look then anything going on with her daughter.

I do applaud them for coming to the show to get help. Maybe they could be taught to show they love their children and show some emotion.  They sure didnt show any there.

As I watched the show, I sat in disbelief of how cold and emotionless the parents are. Their Daughter has been sexually abused and Raped! She wants to Die so God can protect HER! And her Father punishes her for Not hugging him? Her Parents didn't do the first Thing to help her! Did He scoop her up,Love her, Hug Her and Prosecute her Attacker? NO! But HE Demands this from Her? Who's passing out the punishment to Him? He obviously has been passing out punishments so long, his Wife doesn't have the backbone to do anything but defend him? I bet he doesn't go to bed hungry. He had an arrogant Smirk the whole show! I'm so glad she wrote to Dr. Phil for help.I pray for their Daughter they get the Help! Does he think he can Punish Love into Her? Maybe he should try Showing Love to her! All of the Family! Generosity? Is he trying to buy His Families love? I think the Children should be Removed before even Worse things Happen! As for Trisha, Run while you have Dr.Phil's Help!

How dare these parents do this to this young girl. I cried throughout most of the show. I also used to write diaries and mine were pretty much the same. I was sexually abused by my real father from the age of 3 and my stepfather started when I was 13. He was sexually and verbally abusive. I told my mom that he was touching me and she told me not to be so touchy, so sensitive, that she deserved to be happy and soon I would be leaving the house and she would be alone and that she wanted someone to grow old with. She made me feel so guilty for not wanting to be touched. It felt like it was my job to keep her marriage. She used to stand there and say nothing as my stepfather would grab me and grope me and call me names. I know how this girl is feeling. How could her mother not do anything? The first sign of extreme discipline he should have been gone. Neither parent even showed a sense of remorse. Well, ok, the father did at the very end, but not the mother. She is just to blame as the father.  Besides, I believe they were just crocodile tears anyway. I hope this girl gets all the help she can get and that she is able to heal. I disagree with what Dr. Phil said. He told the girl that being raped doesn't change who you are, but it does. It changes your whole mindset, the way you look at yourself, the way you feel about yourself, the way you look at other people and how you think other people look at you. This show had me so mad I was shouting at the tv!