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Topic : 11/03 Child Abductions

Number of Replies: 75
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, October 30, 2008, 03:18:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You see photos of missing kids on billboards, flyers, at the post office and even in grocery stores. Child abductions are a reality, and friends, neighbors or even relatives could kidnap your youngster! In 2002, 11-year-old Shawn Hornbeck vanished without a trace. His parents, Craig and Pam, lived their worst nightmare, until four-and-a-half years later when Shawn was found alive at the home of a child predator. Hear their emotional story and Shawn's courageous tale of how he survived captivity. Next, Jessyca was 13 when she was abducted, held captive and raped by a neighbor. After three months, she was returned home, but her mother, Monica, says she wasn't the same little girl. It's been 13 years since Jessyca's abduction, but the wounds haven't healed. Hear about the pain she still lives with every day. How can she pick up the pieces of her life? Then, in the new film, Gardens of the Night, Tom Arnold plays a pedophile who targets and manipulates an 8-year-old girl to abduct her. Hear why he and the filmmaker, Damian Harris, were compelled to make this movie. And find out the five things all parents need to know to keep their child safe. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 3, 2008, 6:14 pm CST

you were NEVER the bad one.

Quote From: cindygale

Today's show really hit home for me today.  I was sexually abused by my mom's boyfriend. Starting at age 11.  It was off & on for 2 years.  My older sister was too.  He wasn't mean to me.  He was the only one in my life that ever called me pretty & said I was sweet.  It has scarred me deeply. 

 

Our parents had a vicious marriage with both being alcoholic.  Our childhood was horrendous.  We lived through many things that I have seen Hollywood movies on. We starved our whole childhood.  Our teeth were rotten & we wore rags for clothes.  We were shunned by many families.  Talk about wrong side of tracks, we were many tracks.

Once when I was around 8 or 9 I almost jumped off of a cliff to end it.  I didn't for I had to look after my little sister.

After my mother finally ran off with him for the last time life got even harder for us kids.  We had to beg for food, or steal.  Many days would go by with nothing to eat. We had no electricity, no inside toilet.  We froze in the winter time for we had no heat.  Us five kids would put together our mattresses & huddle on them to try & stay warm.

Terrible things happened to all of us.  Maybe one day I will get the chance to tell our story.

It was my misfortune to marry a someone that turned out to be vicious, sadistic, physically, verbally & emotionally abusive. So not only a terrible childhood but marriage also.  He was usually at the bar 4 out of 7 nights a week.  I had 3 daughters with him by the time I was 21. He hit me when I was pregnant, he spanked my sweet babies.  I got beat every time I hugged & cuddled my girls.  He said I was spoiling them. I had to push my feelings down.  So many horrible beatings in front of my little ones.

I finally got away & got a restraining order when I was 25 years old. 

By this time my mother had been back in my life for the last few years with the same boyfriend.  She was also telling me I was spoiling my girls.  The only one that didn't was the boyfriend.  He was always saying how sweet my oldest daughter was.  I never left her alone with him.

I by now had learned the power of alcohol and drugs I am very sad & embarrassed to say.  It turned me into a shrieking, slapping, hair pulling, mad woman to my daughters.  I didn't know that the hurt & rage I felt all of the time was because of all that had happened to me.

I also did what I thought was being a good Mom.  I made sure they had a meal cooked every night.  I made sure they had a bath every night.  I made sure they had clean clothes every day to wear to school.  Brushed & flossed teeth so no toothaches.

All the while never letting them know my childhood.  I always hated those when I was a child stories. 

 

I was in relationships where the man would tell me how to treat my daughters.  One being, to set a timer for them while eating, to be finished in that time.  My daughters always seen me taking the man's side.  They didn't see the vicious fights in the bedrooms.

 

I was the hardest on my oldest.  I grounded her over the least little thing.  I now know that I was terrified that what happened to me in my teenage years would happen to her.  I stupidly thought I was protecting her.  Now I know how I damaged her.  There are so many more horrible things I did to my precious daughters.  Not a day goes by that I don't wish that I could go back  & be the kind of Mom that I am now.  The kind of Mom I was shaping into before it got beat out out me. 

 

The point  I am trying to get to is that no matter what path your life goes down you can never get rid of the horrible things that a sadistic, vicious husband says to you.  You can never get rid of the horrible feeling in your gut that you encouraged and asked for a child molester to violate you.

They will follow you forever & haunt you every chance they get. 

All we can do is try & to keep telling ourself over & over that we weren't the bad one.

 

 

 

 I think your story was incredible.  You must be incredible.  I know your children must see through all this and love you very much.  I am in awe of you and know that you have a crown waiting for you when this is all finished at last.  What happened to your mother and the beast she kept?
 
November 3, 2008, 6:56 pm CST

11/03 Child Abductions

Quote From: yaya_again

 I think your story was incredible.  You must be incredible.  I know your children must see through all this and love you very much.  I am in awe of you and know that you have a crown waiting for you when this is all finished at last.  What happened to your mother and the beast she kept?

 

Thank you for your kind words

 

I wish that was the case with my 3 oldest daughters unfortunately there is so much more that happened.

I actually found out about 1 1/2 years ago that my oldest daughter thought I hated her when she was growing up.  This hurt me more than anything I have ever endured.

 

All I can keep doing is proving to them that people can change if the will is in them.  To show them that they mean the world to me.   Even if I have to do it through their children.

 

My crown will be the day they come up to me & just hug me. 

 

 

My mother wrote me a nasty letter.  In my reply I told her to keep herself & her pedophile boyfriend out of mine & my daughters life or I would have him charged for what he did to me.

 

They both died awhile ago.  My mother did not have a last pleasant 3 months to her life.

 
November 3, 2008, 7:22 pm CST

For Jessyca

There is light at the end of the tunnel of the abduction and abuse that you wnet through. After seeing the show, it takes strength and curage to over come the ordeal. You a pretty woman in my eyes as well as many others. The man who abducted was wrong on doing so and said many things that was not right  and don't believe because you are a better person than that and you do deserve a better life that than hinding in fear from what you went through. I hope for the very best and keep working at it and things will start coming together for the better. You do have your right to live your life the way you want to with out being dragged down from your abdutor/abuse, other wise he wins instead of "YOU" being the winner. YOU ARE THE WINNER!!!

 
November 3, 2008, 10:22 pm CST

What Happened To Shawn Hornbeck Was Terrible.

Imagine going through 4.5 years of being brainwashed by a total stranger.  Most of the media outlets that covered Shawn's recovery asked the question "well why didn't  Shawn just run away when he had a chance to?"?  Maybe it was  because he was too scared to run away.  It was just like when Elizabeth Smart was found alive.  She was too scared to run away.

 
November 3, 2008, 11:06 pm CST

11/03 Child Abductions

Jessyca, you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You came away ALIVE, your just not living life to the fullness. DO NOT give this inhuman piece of crap, any more control over you. Free
yourself to CLAIM the beauty within that others see in you. Please know that you are a child of God &
you are worthy of all of HIS gifts & Blessings. Get yourself involved in a Christ Centered Church, a Bible & Prayer Group. Allow others to encourage, love & accept you. Do NOT shut yourself off  from the world that wants desperately to share the joys of life with a beautiful heart & spirit, such as yourself.
You see I so understand the pain that you endure, as I was raped appox. 3 times a week for 10 yrs.  The predator was my own father. My childhood was not a happy one, as you can imagine. It's work to overcome such devastation, & it's an ongoing process, but so worth it. Start the day to ask the Lord God to put a smile on your face, a hidden joy within to allow your light to shine, and to help others cope that has gone through the same ordeal, as yourself. There is a beautiful life out there waiting for you. Grab on and don't let go. You deserve ALL of the goodness of God & LIFE. We love you Jessyca!!!!
 
November 4, 2008, 1:41 am CST

To Shawn and Jessyca

Wonderful and amazing young adults who deserve to be happy everyday. As survivors both Shawn and Jessyca have every right to their feelings and we should honor their right to privacy when they want it and a right to be heard when they want.

I wish them the best and I am honored to hear their stories,

Sincerely
Jimmie


 
November 4, 2008, 6:50 am CST

A message for Jessyca

Hi Jessyca.  My name is Steve and I live in New York.  I have never posted a message on this board and wasn't even registered with Dr. Phil's site, but when I saw your story this week I was absolutely inspired to do so.  Dr. Phil touched on this point during the show but I'd just like to reiterate it - when thinking back to the terrible things that sorry excuse for a man said to you, try your best to think logically about the source of those words.  Despite your terrible ordeal, I sense that you do understand that that man is completely worthless and his opinions, statements, and accusations are just that, as well - worthless.  When my children were younger I always told them "consider the source" whenever something negative was said to them.  If you had no respect for the deliverer of the message, then you need not respect the message itself.  I know you have the support of your family and I respect your mother a great deal for how she seems to be handling the situation, but I also know that it's easy for someone like you to think, "well, she's my mother, she HAS to say I'm a beautiful person".  Even the studio audience on Dr. Phil's show and all the nice people who have posted supportive messages on here - it's easy to think that we're all just sick about your situation and saying anything and everything we can to help you recover.  But I need you to know something, Jessyca.....I have not one thing to gain by posting this message and normally I'm just not the type to do so, but when I heard you describing your self-image on Dr. Phil's show I was outraged that this man has been able to warp your self-perception.  Clearly, and I mean CLEARLY, you are a sweetheart of a woman, regardless of your experience with this animal, and to suggest you are outwardly ugly or fat is simply preposterous.  I do think our society puts too much emphasis on physical appearance anyway, but nonetheless you happen to be PHYSICALLY beautiful - at least to me.  Many people have commented on your smile and I couldn't agree more.  Your entire face lights up when you smile - and here's hoping you'll be doing it more often.  You have a beautiful face and hair, and well I could go on and on.  But I think you get my point.  I'm just an anonymous guy from upstate New York with my own life, my own family, and my own busy schedule.  But when I saw your story and when I saw YOU, I had to take some time out of all that to write you this message.  I sincerely hope you find happiness and a fulfilling life because we all deserve that, and after your ordeal, well I think you deserve it even more than the rest of us.  Best wishes, Love.
 
November 4, 2008, 9:04 am CST

child abduction& sexual abuse

I really get tried of people question the children more sometimes then the person that has done the crime We ask a child why they didn't tell why they did't run the child is the victim and then people put more pressure on them when the secrect has been broken We almost put them in another place by all the looks mouth running that people don't even have a clue about til you have walked in them shoes.The child that has went through this life are strong  caring  and should be praised for getting a person off the streets that can do these things to a child , so it does not happened to another child that could be yours. I have dealt with this with my 3 daughters and the most depressing thing  was what happened to them but what really made you even more angry was how people treated them afterwards how some people made it look like it was their fault because they didn't speak up or when a prosecuting attorney says "He Looks Like a sexual abuser "  like you are suppose to know by the way he looks  The road to recovery is a long one and it isn't easy getting the child to go through that either  isn't easyI myself  I think that a child that has been through a life like this is a special child they have alot to offer in this world to other people if they help one child to get away or open up is the most rewarding thing anyone can do instead of asking the why's praise them for the strenghth it took them to get where they are today hold your head high because if anyone has a right to it is YOU and be Proud of yourself for making it through a life of HELL
 
November 4, 2008, 9:12 am CST

No Words

Quote From: hpmx59

Abductions Child Doctor Phil. Are you kidding  me?  I have never been abductions in my life. See yo-

u on Monday November 03rd, 2008. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-------------------------------------

Praise the Lord because it does happen who are you trying to kid open a paper or watch tv you might learn something
 
November 4, 2008, 9:47 am CST

Jessyca

I'm so sorry that you had to experience the terror that you did. I could see your brokenness on the show and my heart just breaks for you.
I know from experience then when terrible things happen to us we search for reasons as to why, what our responsibility was in them, or anything we can just to make some sense of it.
But dear, there is NO sense in this. There is no reason, there is no responsibility on your part. You just can't make sense of something that is completely senseless.
So I encourage you to instead seek peace. Not a peace of understanding (for then it would not ever be peace), but a peace that surpasses understanding.
I encourage you to read this entire passage(Phillipians 4) on your own. But here's a snippet of it that I hope will bring you comfort. Phillipians 4:7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 
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