Topic : 11/03 Child Abductions

Omg.  I don't know where to start.  I don't know how I can possibly give enough meaning to my words to have any impact whatsoever.

But...I'll try by keeping it simple.  You are beautiful. 

Truly.

I was psychologically stuck in a 30 year prison of my own. I grew up in a home where incest and rituals were rampant. When I was 18, I met a man 20 years older and thought I had found my knight in shinning armor. I thought he was going to take me away from the past, but he was far more controlling and crazy than what I was living with. I was in a prison in my own home. When I saw Jessyca today, my heart went out to her, as that is how I felt for over 30 years. He not only controlled me and who I could or could not talk to, but controlled everything I did, and it was horrible sexual abuse, and saying I was too fat, dumb, ugly, that no one else would even be able to stand me. I still live with those horrible thoughts in my mind, and I am 57 years old!  I have been going to therapy for many years, but it sometimes I wish he would have just stuck to hitting me.  The psychological abuse stays with a person much much longer than the bruises. My prayers are with Jessyca, and the hope that someday she can see that she is a beautiful daughter of God who loves her sooooo much. I am still working on that one.

A person can be in a prison even in their own home, especially when they have been so brainwashed to think there is no escape.

Russell, I am thankful that you never had to endure the terrors of being abducted. You were blessed to have been spared that horror in your life.

I only have one question for you.

To what do you attribute your lack of compassion for one who has?

OMG Jessyca is so beautiful!  Those eyes - she looks like Jessica Love Hewitt.  Someone needs to get ahold of both women and introduce them to each other.

Jessyca honey, no body can feel or understand what you do.  I do know what it feels like to feel ugly, fat and stupid.  I don't feel that way anymore but it took quite a few (30 some) to realize I am lovable and I have a wonderful husband who loved me before and now tha I am a bit over weight.  I thought I was fat at 120 pounds. I was told I was by someone I loved at the time.  I look back on pictures of my younger years and I would give anything to look so good again.  Just know that Dr. Phil will help you and there is a great big wonderful world out there.  Not everyone is good but most people are.  We have to listen to our gut feelings.  And right now my gut feelings tell me you are bright, beautiful and a weight I should work at being.  You look awesome.  When you smile and show your teeth you are even more beautiful.  Beauty does come from within and you definitely have a beautiful heart.  It just needs mended.  Take the help offered.  I don't know what I would have done if I had not seen a specialist on adult children of alcoholics.  He helped me see myself for who I really am.  I wish you so much love, happiness and gladness.  You deserve it.  Hugs to you and your mom.  Cheryl